Where We Are

No Heat November

2011-12-06T16:38:00.002-05:00

We went the entire month of November without turning our heat on. Actually, we went for over two months, but with October having such comfortable weather, I didn’t think I could really count it.

A while back I was having a conversation with my mom about how we had not turned our central unit on for a couple of weeks. I was bragging about how low my electric bill was going to be, when she reminded me (yet again) how she grew up with no AC, no heating unit except a wood stove, and even woke up with snow on her quilt a few times because her windows wouldn’t stay shut sometimes (and she walked to school uphill, both ways….). This conversation turned into a friendly battle of the wills over the next few weeks. At one point, my own brother called my son to ask him to sneak over and turn the air on so that I would lose!

The first week or so were kind of fun, with the kids bundling up “for dinner”, or David even sleeping in his regular clothes (not pajamas) for the next day. We even showed them how to take advantage of heat from the sun by opening the shades and front door when the sun was shining on it. Probably the funniest part was when Abby was doing laundry one night, and left the laundry room door open. She said, “at least the heat from the dryer will help!”

But I’ll be the first to admit that the last few days were the toughest. The night before we turned on our heat, the outside temperature got down to 28 degrees F. Honestly, I was more afraid of my pipes freezing, than I was of being cold. My reasoning was that I didn’t want to create more of a headache with pipes bursting just by trying to go as long as I could without heat.

We learned a lot from this experience. It may not seem like much, particularly since millions wake up each morning without heat, but we as a family learned a little more about what we can do without. We are one of those whacko families that don’t have cable, one TV (in the living room), and actually tell our kids to go outside and play. I don’t budget for a car payment; because I don’t want to have debt of any kind. Michelle and I do our best to actually sit down at the dinner table and ask our children about their day. We are far from perfect, as our lives are quite busy, but we do our best to be intentional about consistent activities in the home. I hear way too often how that I deprive my children of “advances in technology” and the “nicer things in life”. I just don’t believe that is true. One deprives a child when they take away what the child truly wants: one on one time with their parents. I don’t choose to have one TV because I think it will rot my kids’ brain (even though there is some truth to that). I have only one TV so that I, as a parent, have fewer distractions that keep ME from interacting with my kids.

If you are reading this, then I am certain there is something you could intentionally give up in your life right now. The concept is quite biblical. It’s called fasting, and it’s not just for food. It is for anything that has a hold on us that would keep us from focusing on God first. A while back, I fasted from social media. A friend of mine fasted from coffee. It may be that you need to fast from exercising for a time period, because you have the wrong motivation for doing it. The point is that you fast from something, and do it regularly. It helps us to keep our focus on where it needs to be.

Just so we are clear: Michelle and I can afford to turn on our heat (mom, if you are reading this). The main reason we went this long without any heat was to keep us focused on the fact there were those who could not turn on heat, even if they wanted to. We got some real good discussions from our kids through this experience. David wanted to know how we could help those who didn’t have any heat. Abby did too, and then she asked, “so what are we giving up next?” It’s a good question, and one that I don’t have an answer for just yet. But I will throw it to you: What can you give you up for a season?

40 Days of Sabbath from Social Media (SOME of What I have Learned)

2011-11-04T10:06:00.002-04:00

I have been planning to do this for some time now. I can’t really point my finger to any specific thing that led me to fast for 40 days from social media. It more or less kind of grew on its own. But for whatever reason, I decided to “go dark” on September 24, 2011 for 40 days.

A little background: For a few months I noticed having a hard time focusing. It was requiring way too much effort to focus on one basic task in a given day. I noticed I was texting, checking my twitter feed, sending tweets, checking facebook, posting to facebook, making sure my twitter feed and facebook were synced, posting to my blog, checking my facebook, etc. All while trying to concentrate on the basic of tasks. If I were to be honest, I was overwhelmed. I was overwhelmed with trying to stay in contact with everyone. I was overwhelmed with trying to communicate things to others. And that is why I began to ask the questions: why do I post things on line? What is my ultimate motivation for posting anything (twitter, facebook, blog, etc.) on line? I ignored the answer, because it wasn’t the answer that I wanted. The answer that I wanted was, “because I am really concerned about other people, and I have found some bit of information that will make their life better.” Unfortunately the truth that kept coming up was, “because I want to see how many people respond to what I have to say.” And it was this initial realization that sparked a desire to unplug for 40 days.

I consider social media facebook, twitter, and blogs. I realize that there are other forms of social media such as chat rooms, forums, chatting while playing on line games, etc. But I don’t communicate in those ways. I primarily use twitter and facebook. So those were the ones that cut out of my life. I went so far as to delete the apps from my phone. The only two forms of media that I engaged in outside of direct communication were texting and email. I didn’t give up texting, because it truly is an amazing way of getting your point across to someone personally and instantly. There are numerous times where I need to tell someone something, and I just can’t make a phone call. So for me, for these 40 days, I read no one’s blogs, I read no tweets, and I read no facebook posts.

My Feelings about Facebook - I have a theory that there is no way one person can be true friends with 400 people. To have that many people as your friends on facebook is ridiculous. You can’t keep up. One could spend 24 hours a day on facebook checking up on their “friends”. My wife calls this facebook stalking. I call it being unproductive. It’s consuming. It’s addicting. What are they doing? Why don’t they post pictures? Why am I on their list? Why am I NOT on their list?? I can’t believe they are divorced?! Etc. Don’t get me wrong: Facebook has its place, but it requires so much effort to stay in control, that a lot of people ultimately lose control.

My Feelings about Twitter - To post random comments assuming that people actually care is the thought behind twitter. One can actually follow the menial, day in day out, goings on of high profile people with nothing more than a click of a button. Another ridiculous thing about twitter is that a celebrity can make an offhand comment about a brand in less than 140 characters and that brand will completely change its focus or rebut in less than 24hrs. It was recently determined that certain brands are actually PAYING some celebrities to post something about their product….Its insanity! But it’s this insanity that draws people to share their message: “I have something to say, and if I have followers, then they obviously care what I have to say.” This type of motivation for posting comments is nothing more than “it’s about me” hidden behind “they are interested in me”.

Anyway, enough of beating up on Facebook and Twitter. They do have their uses. The ability to share information to massive amounts of people is exciting. But if the activities behind the communication consume us, distract us, and keep us from building strong relationships with others, then the technology is keeping us from being who we are created to be: social, loving, involved, PRESENT creatures.

My ultimate goal behind the 40 day fast was to strengthen my relationships with those around me. There is no way we can build serious relationships when our face is in our phone or in a computer screen most of the time. Intentionally unplugging would provide more time for my wife and kids. I removed yet another distraction in my life that I was using as an excuse to not be fully engaged in their lives.

It doesn’t take much for me to disengage from them. I can create some pretty good excuses: “this college student needs some time to talk. I need to write this blog, because it is related to what we are studying this week. I need to check on facebook to see what he said, he seemed to be upset tonight.” You see? These are all seemingly legitimate reasons that cumulatively consume a mountain of time. I decided a long time ago that it was my responsibility to be intentional in the lives of my wife and kids. I shouldn’t wait on them to engage me. I need to initiate the communication with them. I bet if you were honest with yourself, you are probably making some pretty good excuses as well….

Strengthening my relationships was cool, but I also noticed I have read more in the last 40 days. Not just reading online either. I actually read physical books; with pages! One time a coworker brought in an article from Newsweek wanting me to read it. I knew I had a problem when I thought to myself, “Why didn’t he send me a link to it in an email?”

Along with reading three books in the last 40 days, I got back into a daily routine of reading my bible. I have a bible app on my phone that I would read from primarily, but there is something about HOLDING a bible and reading it…. I don’t know, but the words and stories just seem to be more understandable when reading it this way.

So I’m back on line; at least for now. I have a thought stirring in my head to cancel all my accounts as a New Year’s Resolution. I’m not so sure about that….. In the mean time, I have decided to severely limit my communication online. I am sure I will send a few tweets here and there. I read a lot of articles on science, religion, politics, etc. My goal with sending these links is to stimulate some kind of discussion in regards to the topic. I also plan to overhaul my Facebook account. Do I really need that many friends?? Why is THAT posted on my wall? What I am really trying to say by posting that picture?? Do I really “like” that??

What about you? Could you unplug for 40 days? What about 2 weeks? A week? A weekend? 24 hours? For an hour???? If your answer is no, maybe you should give it a shot…..

Its Football Time

2011-08-23T15:30:00.000-04:00

Today is my son’s first football game. Well, it’s not technically his first, since his team has been playing bowl games and scrimmages with other teams for the last couple of weeks. But in his mind, based on the team schedule, tonight is his first official game.

I grew up in football country. It was a small town, but football was a way of life. The only thing that was more important than football was church. And in some instances, a couple of churches set their mid-week services around football practice. You were either in football, or you were not.

I was not. I wasn’t that big in high school, and learned long before getting there that I was gifted in music. In particular, I figured out I was pretty good playing drums. And as a dad, I just figured that was where my son would progress. I bought a second drum set last year so he could play. Unbeknownst to me, he held a very strong desire to play football. I knew he enjoyed it. He liked watching it with me, but I never knew he wanted to play it as much as he does. But the truth be known, deep down inside of me I knew this was coming….

A few months back I said something to the effect of,”you are too small to play. You will get hurt. Blah blah blah. Well, when one of the coaches here in Knoxville heard that story (directly from David…), he wasn’t too thrilled. He started naming off all kinds of guys in the NFL with a height less than 5’8”. When I got home, you can imagine David letting me have it…. Make a long story short; he is now a starting Safety and backup running back for his team. He is also the fastest member of the team when they do the speed drills. He has a lot to learn, but it is his first year, and he is loving it. I am definitely a proud dad.

First Day of School

2011-08-16T15:03:00.003-04:00

School started for us yesterday.

Abby’s first day was about like most kids her age. We got up, she put on her new clothes, hopped in the car, and mom snapped pictures at every turn. In our house, its tradition that I take them to school on the first day. We get to the co-op, and I ask her, “you want daddy to walk you to your classroom?” Abby responded, in classic Abby fashion, “No, I’ll be ok. I know where it is. Besides, you need to get work.” And with that, her highly independent self hopped out of the car, waved good bye, and skipped off to class. Of course, dad is struggling to keep it together as he drives off to work, wondering what happened to his little girl….

David’s experience was slightly different. His actually began the night before. He and I were tag teaming a mountain of legos in the middle of his room that had gotten out of hand the previous day. We bantered back and forth about expectations for this year, since he would be at home all the time. He seemed excited and ready for the next step in his education. I told him one of my expectations for him this year was for him to read 1 chapter out of the bible, on his own, each day. He seemed pretty cool with that:

“So, like, I can just pick up the bible, pick out a verse and just read it? Like, turn to Exodus 10, and just READ it?!” he asked.

“No, I think a bible plan is in order. Pick a section like the Psalms, or the first 5 books of the bible, or the gospels.” I responded. After some debating and negotiating, we finally decided he would start in Matthew. Then, almost like out of the blue he said, “I wish I could be dropped off for my first day of school….” I stopped what I was doing, because this had the feeling of “one of those moments” parents wait for.

“What do you mean?” I asked. “You are going to be home schooled 100% this year. You don’t get to be dropped off at school.” And then, almost flippantly I added, “What, you want me to drive around the block, and drop you off at the house?!”

Amazingly, he looked up at me in genuine excitement. “Please, dad. Would you do that?!”

And so we did. David got up in the morning, got dressed “for school”, grabbed his book, jumped in the car, and mom snapped pictures. I drove him around the block, pulled into the driveway, and he jumped out, “see you dad. Have a great day at work.”

To me, the review of the first day is also really cool. That afternoon, Abby came up to me, “Daddy! I got to go to gymnastics! What do you think of my gymnastics outfit? My teacher this year is really sweet. She likes rules, though. We spent almost ALL DAY on rules…. HEY! 2 of my friends from last year are in my class! We did a devo on what makes God happy. I am going to finish all my ‘Tuesday work’ today. I got to swing on the bars and do hand stands in gymnastics today! That was fun!” For her, she summed up her day in 5 minutes. Things were good.

David’s experience was different. He got his work done by lunch. That has been his goal all summer. After lunch, he began getting his stuff ready for football practice. He is a starting safety on defense and a backup running back on offense. He likes to be prepared, and early; WAY early. Sometime during the morning, however, Michelle checks in on him, and he was reading the bible. He was on chapter 3 of Matthew. He had decided it was so good, he wanted to continue the story. When Michelle told me that, it took a bit for dad to keep it together, as he wondered what happened to his little boy.... Things were good. Things were real good.

I hope your first day of school experience was just as cool as mine.

Colorful Language

2011-08-10T14:19:00.000-04:00

My son was recently invited by local high school football team to review film. He started playing football, and one of his homework assignments by his coach was to review film (watch football games), and pick out his position. At ten years old, you would have thought he had been invited by a team from the NFL. He arrives at their practice one afternoon, opens the car door, and is met with some rather colorful language from the coaches. “that’s the @#$%@#! play I have ever seen run!”, was just an inkling of what he overheard. At one point, he turned to his mom and said, “mom, he used the ‘s’-word!” (S-word in our house is “shut up”) Anyway, after the initial shock from all the yelling, David happily spent a few hours with the coaching staff reviewing last year’s films, and they did an excellent job of helping him pick out his current position.

But this experience got me thinking. What words do you use in your house? What words would your kids say are used in your house? For instance, is the word “Jesus” used frequently? If so, in what context? Is it, “and Jesus is the Savior of the World, and He loves you very much!” or is it: “Jesus. Just get up stairs and get in bed!” If it’s the latter, I doubt your kids are looking around for Jesus to walk up the stairs….

We have to be real careful about our language, and we cannot take it for granted. Recently, I gave a speech at a graduation banquet. The title of my talk was, “Don’t be Stupid”. The point was that as young people they have a lot of opportunities, but as they make stupid decisions, they start running out of opportunities. Hence, don’t be stupid. During my talk, a young little guy about 5 or 6 had had enough of my use of the word. He was sitting rather close to the front and interrupted me, “we don’t say stupid in my house.” I was caught off guard, and was truly inspired. The reason is that I know this family personally, and can honestly say that they do not use that word, as well as many others that would be frowned upon. I was encouraged that the child felt so strongly about it that he decided to make his issues known to me in public! Something that I took so matter-of-fact-like, he took very strongly.

As parents, we have to be cognizant of the fact that our kids are watching us all the time, even when they are not. I hear my phrases coming out of son these days; some good, some not so good. But he and his sister are only mimicking what they think is appropriate. All kids do this. So we as parents need to show them what appropriate communication is. That is why consistent bible studies are so important. And it’s not sitting everyone down every night for a bible time, although that isn’t a bad idea. It can also be talking at the table, songs you listen to, shows you watch, the reason for why you are not going to put that purchase on the credit card, and a litany of others. Be intentional about teaching your children what good communication looks like. Show them by speaking and acting the way Jesus would want you to.

Some Quotes from Patrick Henry

2011-07-05T10:40:00.007-04:00

There is no doubt in my mind that this country was founded primarily on Christian morals. To deny this fact, flies in the face of history. True, not all of the Founding Fathers were devout Christians. However, they all understood that the Christian morality, in particular that all men are created equal, was a good starting point for creating a new country.

The United States was created so that the individual had more rights than the state, and that the state had more rights than the federal government. The Constitution played a key role in making sure this happened. Everything from Checks and Balances to the Electoral College was put in place to make sure that the individual was always heard, no matter how small. This is what makes a country, a republic, so much different from a democracy. For in a democracy, a popular vote where the majority says “yea”, that is all that is needed. Therefore the minority, must go along with the majority. To intentionally recognize the individual as having unalienable rights, is truly Christian indeed.

This weekend I was reminded of one of our Founding Fathers, Patrick Henry. He was a devout, Christian man that is probably best known for making the bold statement: “Give me liberty or give me death”. But did you also know that he also said, “…this great nation was founded, not by religionists, but by Christians…”? What do you think about that statement? Does it make you squirm? Does it make you raise your eyebrows and question? Let me know your thoughts on Patrick Henry and the rest of the Founding Fathers.

“The Constitution is not an instrument for the government to restrain the people, it is an instrument for the people to restrain the government - lest it come to dominate our lives and interests.

It can not be emphasized too strongly or too often that this great nation was founded, not by religionists, but by Christians, not on religions, but on the gospel of Jesus Christ!”

“It is natural for man to indulge in the illusions of hope. We are apt to shut our eyes against a painful truth, and listen to the song of that siren till she transforms us into beasts... For my part, whatever anguish of spirit it may cost, I am willing to know the whole truth, to know the worst, and to provide for it.”

Is life so dear, or peace so sweet, as to be purchased at the price of chains or slavery? Forbid it, Almighty God! I know not what course others may take but as for me; give me liberty or give me death!”

“Bad men cannot make good citizens. It is when a people forget God that tyrants forge their chains. A vitiated state of morals, a corrupted public conscience, is incompatible with freedom. No free government, or the blessings of liberty, can be preserved to any people but by a firm adherence to justice, moderation, temperance, frugality, and virtue; and by a frequent recurrence to fundamental principles.

“Religion I have disposed of all my property to my family. There is one thing more I wish I could give to them, and that is the Christian religion. If they had that and I had not given them one cent, they would be rich. If they have not that, and I had given them the world, they would be poor.”

From Saloon to Church Buildings

2011-06-23T10:25:00.002-04:00

I grew up with Vacation Bible School (VBS). This is attributed to the fact that my dad was a preacher, and therefore I grew up in church. I have always been involved in some form of VBS, and so never really gave it much thought. I just assumed everyone did it as well, and that it had always been around! Seriously, I think there was time when I thought Jesus and The Twelve led the first VBS! Of course, that would bring on questions like, “What is the drop off policy for Levites? Who plays Jesus in the skit? And other very confusing questions.

If you hang around Farragut Church long enough, you will hear this phrase about VBS: “it’s for the kids”. And that is absolutely true. We do almost everything that we can to get the kid’s attention. We want them to walk away from the week with a solid foundation that Jesus loves them very much. But I find myself asking, “where does the CONCEPT of VBS come from?” It’s really an interesting story….

As the Christianity Today reported a few years back, VBS originated at the turn of the century in New York City’s East Side. Although Methodists offered “summer Sunday School institutes” as far back as the 1870s, the term VBS is attributed to Mrs. Walker Aylette Hawes, of the Epiphany Baptist Church. Mrs. Hawes was the wife of a doctor who specialized in medical ministry to children. During their initial stay in New York, Mrs. Hawes noted the numerous injuries from the children, and that they more than likely came from playing in the streets. She believed that they “needed something safe and fruitful to occupy their time.”

In 1898, after a near exhaustive search of places that would actually allow her to rent space for such a thing, a saloon (i.e. bar, a place that sells beer) agreed to rent her space for 6 weeks during the summer days. Mrs. Hawes designed her program around music, Bible stories, scripture memorization, games, crafts, drawing, and cooking. By the time of her retirement in 1901, Mrs. Hawes was overseeing seven separate schools in the New York City Area. An interesting fact about her original location, the bar: “Her pastor insisted that the school in 1900 move to the church, Epiphany Baptist Church, located about a mile from the East Side beer hall. After two weeks of meeting at the church, it became clear to Mrs. Hawes that children from the East Side would not attend at the church. She returned the school to a location near the beer hall for the rest of the summer”. It seems, even to this day, that location is everything!

After Mrs. Hawes retired, Dr. Robert Boville took over for her. By 1903, the movement had grown to 17 schools. Over the next four years, schools were opened in Philadelphia and Chicago. In 1911, Dr. Boville established the Daily Vacation Bible School Association as a national organization.

So now that you know where VBS comes from, does that change how you think about it? Do you drive across town to a church’s VBS? If they held it in a bar that was really convenient to you, would you take your kids? Do you participate in another denomination’s VBS? What do you look for in a VBS? Do you hang around, and get to know the staff that are working the VBS? In your opinion, what is the purpose of VBS?

You know you are having a successful VBS when:

2011-06-22T10:15:00.003-04:00

1) Your 3 year old expresses his or her ability to spell J-E-S-U-S on the ride home. Of course, it will probably start out with something like: “Give me a J! Give me a J! Give me a J! [undecipherable humming and mumbling] Give me an E! Give me an E! Give me an E!....” The shaking of the head and simulated dance moves while strapped in the car seat are obviously optional….

2) Its day three and workers are still showing up at 7am when VBS doesn’t really start until 8:30.

3) You had to run to the store for MORE water balloons.

4) The word “pyrotechnic” came up in conversation, and no one looked surprised.

5) There was a brief discussion about the possibility of getting a jetski on stage. And again, no one looked surprised….

6) Your 9 year old sleeps in his “next day clothes” so he doesn’t have to “waste time” getting ready to go to VBS.

7) Spouses stop by the church building for seemingly random tasks, and “have to” check the quality controls in place for the food dispositioned for the staff.

8) The youth minister puts in 20 plus votes for his pick on The Voice^©backstage before performing the skit for the morning, and then brags about it on Twitter^©, while referencing his church and the hash tag #vbs. OK, so that one may be a little random, but it still sounded cool!

9) Its day three and the college students are still showing up.

10) Your smoking hot wife who just happens to be in charge hasn’t lost her marbles yet. Figuratively and LITERALLY.

Farragut Church VBS, Part 1

2011-06-21T11:11:00.004-04:00

I don’t know about your home church, but ours does VBS big. I mean BIG! I thought I would pass a few quick facts about how Farragut Church does VBS. Some of these are really funny. And some of them, are just plain scary! Enjoy.

The initial meetings of planning the theme start around 8 – 10 months of the actual date. Of course, a lot of this is social time around dinners, talking in the halls, etc. But we really do start planning that far in advance.

Families plan their vacations around our VBS. The work is so intense and involved, that many of our families have just accustomed themselves to planning their family vacations so that they can still be here to help out at the church building.

Having a lift is a necessity. I don’t know if you have been to our building before, but if you haven’t here is a fact: the ceilings are huge! And since we do things BIG, we need a lift to get up into the ceiling area. So when it comes to decorating, we just assume we will have a lift, and that we can hang things from the ceiling WAY UP in to the air! The kids love that stuff, because it is like creating a completely different world!

Most everyone is involved. I am quite certain you would be hard pressed to find a family at our congregation who is not in some way involved. Whether they are a teen who is an actor in a play, a retired older gentleman directing traffic, or a college student who is herding children from one location to another, every family is represented in some fashion. Our VBS is one of the biggest events that we do each year, and it helps in building our own relationships while we teach some 300 kids about Jesus.

Nail guns, water balloons, black lights, endless supply of card board, and a bag of fireworks are a must. Enough said…..

Food for the staff is amazing. I am not really sure how else to explain it, but we have individuals who bake home made goods for the staff, so that they have enough energy to keep up with all the little ones! Its just another perk of working VBS at Farragut Church!

Sleep overs at the building are not uncommon. There have been a couple of days where we got there in the morning, and a couple of people were sleeping in the halls! They worked all night, crawled into their sleeping bag, and woke up then next morning, ready to go! They felt the travel time to and from home was too much, so they improvised!

Professionals are running the show. We have interior designers, construction contractors, engineers, teachers, ministers (currently working and presently in school), IT professionals, chefs, you name it, we got it! They are all doing their part in showing Jesus to a ton of kids are eager to hear!

Oh, and did I mention that my wife is in charge? She is doing an awesome job! When you see her walking the halls making sure that your child got that craft done, stop her and tell her how great a job she and the rest of the volunteers are doing!

Father's Day 2011

2011-06-20T09:36:00.005-04:00

This year’s Father’s Day was really awesome. I got to experience all sorts of things throughout the whole weekend. I was gone all week prior on business, so coming home on Friday, knowing I was spending the weekend with the family, made it even more special.

When I walked through the door Friday afternoon, my little girl met me in the hall with one of the biggest hugs I had ever received! “Daddy! I missed you sooooooo much! Oh! I got you a present for Father’s Day!” she said with such enthusiasm. She skipped out of the room, and came back with a delivery box….. “I know you like jetski parts, and this is what I got you!” You see, at the beginning of the week I ordered a few parts for my jetski. But what I didn’t know is that in a conversation with Michelle a few days prior, Abby makes an offhand comment that she was going to get me jetski parts for Father’s Day, because I like jetski parts. When the box showed up on Friday, she brought it to Michelle wanting to know what it was. Michelle said her face was priceless when she announced it was in fact jetski parts for me!

Saturday morning I was awoken to my son and daughter “steam rolling” and body slamming me to “get up!” Everyone gets out of bed, we get dressed, and head to Farragut Church for VBS work. We dropped Michelle off at the building, and then the kids took me out for a Father’s Day breakfast. It was absolutely wonderful. After breakfast we head back to the church for a couple of more hours of VBS work, then it is out to run some last minute errands.

Afterword, we head over to our friends, whose quads are having a party celebrating turning 5. I was actually told by one of them (I think it was Jonathan) that they were in fact 4 on Saturday, but would turn 5 in a few days. The tone was such that he did not fully approve of the party not being on the actual birth date, but that it would suffice since he was part of it….. Jim and Allison are awesome people, and I am grateful to God that they are in our lives. Since this is a Father’s Day post: Jim is a great dad who works tirelessly being a Christian example for his kids, loving his wife, supporting his family, and being a great friend. After the quad’s party, it was back to the church to clean up for worship in the morning.

Sunday morning, Michelle rolled over and quietly whispered, “Happy Father’s Day” in my ear. Very cool, very sexy, and very awesome. Have I mentioned before how awesome my wife is? I was then (shock and awe here) awoken by two little ones “trying” to sneak into bed with us. My son said something that resembled “Happy Father’s Day”, while he burrowed himself under the covers and pillows. Abby just came in, crawled under the covers, and went back to the sleep.

After worshipping with my family (something we don’t get to do very often since Michelle I and have commitments on Sunday mornings), we rush out of church to grab lunch just as a family. And afterwards, I know you find this hard to believe, but we headed back to church for the last preparations of Farragut Church’s VBS 2011, “Dive In”. Let me throw out a shamelss plug for our congregation at this point: Farragut Church is absolutely amazing. If you are in the area this week, come by and check out how BIG we do VBS. Seriously, words can not describe how much of a production we put on. Oh, did I mention that my smoking hot wife was in charge of it this year? Yeah, its going to be awesome....

After we were done, Michelle and I led a devotional with the college students. I love these guys (and gals). They are young adults beginning to make their mark in the world. Michelle and I do our best to mentor them, as well as, work with their parents in making sure they (the college students) are hearing what God has to say about all kinds of topics. I am truly honored to not only be tasked with teaching them, but also calling many of them friends.

And finally, I got to reflect on the fact that the Scott family is coming to visit this weekend. They arrive on Friday, and I can’t wait. David and Stacey are in the process of raising some amazing God loving boys that are going to make the world a better place. But it is not only how they are raising their boys that is so awesome, but it is also how they impact their neighborhood. Their home is truly a beacon of light in what is sometimes a very dark place. Although we named our David from David out of the bible, my David sometimes comments that he was named after Mr. David (David Scott), and I am ok with that. Outside of my David, I don’t know of a better David!!

If you are a dad, or have a dad, I hope your Father’s Day was enjoyable, and filled with memorable experiences that you can take for years to come.

Thoughts On Bin Laden's Death

2011-05-11T16:28:00.000-04:00

I would be really interested to hear your thoughts on the death of bin laden. Does it make our country safer? Do we celebrate? Was it (killing him) worth it? How do you feel about it personally?

Hail Storm, 2011

2011-05-06T08:21:00.009-04:00

I thought I would share our experience with the storm from last week. It was definitely an experience I won’t soon forget!

Michelle and I knew we were going to get hit hard, but we didn’t know how hard. After making sure we had candles, flashlights, etc., we went to get some sandwiches. Returning home, we had a picnic in the garage, watching the clouds go by and the trees beginning to move.

Even after church sent out that services had been canceled for the evening, we weren’t completely convinced we were going to get hit real hard, because all we were seeing was rain. At one point, David runs out into the drive way, running around in the rain, no care in the world…..

Around 7, we cut off the computer and TV. We were sitting around the dining room table: Michelle and Abby scrap booking, me paying bills, and David running from window to window, giving us a status update every 5 minutes. Still, we had no real concern. We had yet to hear about the storms hitting Alabama…..By 7:30pm, I had decided that it was all for nothing. It was just rain! All we were getting was rain! Michelle and I are responsible for our children’s programs on Sunday mornings, and we use Wednesday as our night to practice with other volunteers. I actually thought to myself, “what a waste. When are we going to practice???”

A little after 8, David and I had just walked inside from throwing some baseball (the rain was hit and miss), when "IT" hit. At first, it was just massive rain. Then the lightning came through. But when the hail hit, we headed for the hall! David had his flashlight, Abby her stuffed animals. I had never heard hail that loud before. Michelle and I lived in Memphis for 4 years, and never experienced anything like this. The hail only lasted 3-5 minutes, but it was amazingly intense! We couldn't hear each other, because the hail was hitting our house so hard.

After it was over, we walked outside in the backyard, stepping on golf ball sized hail stones. It looked like a war zone. Limbs and leaves were lying on the ground from where they were ripped out of the trees! I checked the weather channel on my phone, and notice the second storm cell coming through. We headed in doors, and hunkered down once more.

The second storm was just as severe and just as quick! However, this time it knocked out our power. During this storm, Abby starts getting a little upset, and my son looks over at her and says, “its ok, I prayed to God, so He will keep us safe.” Abby looks at him then with this, “oh, ok” kind of look. Her entire demeanor changes and she begins playing with her stuffed animals, while the golf ball sized hail stones pummel our house. Michelle and I look at each other with a strange mixture of disbelief and pride…..

After the second storm passed over, we went back outside to check the damage. Thankfully, no structural damage to the house! Well, we would find out the next day our siding had been damaged as well as the roof. But at the time, the only noticeable damage was Michelle’s hostas.

I took the kids to bed, and said a prayer of thanksgiving over them. They went to sleep, soundly, and peacefully.

Michelle and I started calling our family in Chattanooga, checking in to make sure they are ok. Sitting in the dark, we sat there in conversation about the evening. It was part open prayer of thankfulness to God and another part of awe in the powerfulness of nature. We were in the middle of talking about what we wer going to do about the hostas that got destroyed when Michelle gets a phone call from one of our college students: “I am heading to your house. Our house got hit bad, and my back window of my car is knocked out.” Turns out, the college student’s house had received massive structural damage, and they had to leave it, not knowing its fate until the morning.

It seems the estimated damage in Knox County alone was over 10 million dollars. I have no doubt it will only rise as the weeks go by. Michelle and I are amazingly blessed. We are going to need some new siding, a roof, and some gutters. But I know of others that may have lost their entire house. Many have lost there cars. I know of one lady that got her head cut open, trying to cover her car! What this experience taught me was that nothing is sacred. We can not hold on to anything! A wise man once told me, "the harder you hold on to something, the more it hurts when it is wripped out of your hands." Thsi statement has so much more meaning to me now after experience this storm.

Ghana Mission, 2011

2011-03-14T10:12:00.005-04:00

I wanted to pass on some internet information in regards to Michelle’s Mission trip to Ghana. Our congregation partners with the Village of Hope in Ghana, West Africa. You can visit their website: http://www.gwam.org/welcome.html While there, our mission team do their best to blog about the experiences. The internet connections are not the most stable, so there may not be a lot of responses. The blog for their experiences is here: http://farragutchurch.blogspot.com/. It should give you an idea into what they experience and what they offer during the week.

The mission team is made up of doctors, nurses, optometrists, dentists, engineers, preachers, teachers children, and of course one very special PT (that would be Michelle). They run the medical clinic for a week that has been established by the Village of Hope and numerous sponsors from around the globe. Our congregation sends everything from sun glasses to malaria medicine to be handed out during the week they are there. Along with medical treatment, they also play soccer with the children, teach the basics of mosquito netting, preach, and participate with various activities for encouragement and enrichment for the locals.

I’ll pass on some stories of their experiences as well as mine, as I am wifeless and childless for the week!

Regards,

J-

Initial Thoughts from Reading "Radical"

2011-01-23T22:02:00.002-05:00

I just started “Radical”, by David Platt. I’ll be honest, it’s a hard book to read. It’s a hard book to start. It’s a hard book to pick back up.

Almost right off the bat David starts discussing a passage out of the bible that has always fascinated me: John chapter 6. At the beginning of the chapter, Jesus feeds about 5 thousand people. Around vs. 14 and 15 you get the sense that the people believe that “He is the Prophet who is to come into the world”. Immediately He leaves, because He gets the feeling they were going to seize Him and make Him king. The next scene has Him walking on water. Once in the boat, it immediately appears on the shore (vs. 21)! As he starts talking to the crowd, He tells them quite plainly that they only seek him, not for the miraculous signs, but because he fed them. As He starts talking to them about believing in “the one whom God sent”, they begin asking about miraculous signs again. Jesus tells them about the manna from heaven, and how God fed the Israelites that way. But he doesn’t stop there. He amps up by proclaiming, “I am the bread of life” (vs. 35). He then continues to tell them that anyone who comes to him will go hungry or be thirsty. As the story escalates more and more, Jesus finally proclaims in vs. 53 “…unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink His blood, you have no life in yourselves.”

As David Platt puts it, “Not exactly the sharpest church-growth tactic. I can almost picture the looks on the disciples’ faces. ‘No, not the drink-my-blood speech! We’ll never get on the list of the fastest-growing movements if you keep asking them to eat you.’”

And I’ll be honest: I have to agree. As you read through the next few verses, many of His disciples complain about his teachings being too hard, and that they don’t understand. Jesus doesn’t seem to be very sensitive to their feelings as he proclaims, “Does this cause you to be offended?...” (vs. 61). Again, this type of action doesn’t draw the greatest of crowds. At this point in your average western world Christian church, sermons start to get a little softer. Messages begin to be a little tamer. We do our best to not offend so as to push people away. We back off from the teachings of Jesus, because we are afraid to offend someone. But not Jesus! He amps it up, and people begin to leave. We see in verses 66 and 67 that so many people leave, that its possible only twelve remain with Him….

And that is where “Radical” begins…. Like I said, “ouch.”

The reading of this book has some pretty good timing as our congregation is going through some tough times presently. We have seen people leave, and we find ourselves asking, “What could we have done to keep them?” We also find ourselves asking questions like, “what can we do to draw more people into our church? How can we be more visible in our community?” Don’t get me wrong: ministry leaders should be very sensitive to not burning out volunteers. Church leaders should understand the demographic of the community and what the community needs are.

But this passage out of John 6 strikes a completely differ chord. Jesus knows who the true believers are, and he seems to push the others away. In fact, he seems to amp up the ‘weird’ stuff. I mean think about it: if you are around during Jesus time, waiting for the messiah to appear, you start following this guy thinking He is going to lead a rebellion against the Romans. All of a sudden He gets fed up with all the politics and starts talking about the only way to have eternal life is to eat His flesh and drink His blood?!? Don’t you think you might take a second look at your decision to follow Him? I’m just saying…..

I guess my point is that I think it is time to stop coddling to people and just teach the message of Jesus. We have to put Him first in every aspect of our life. Our finances should reflect spending habits that would make Him proud; not just using the church as a tax right off. The way we talk should inspire others; people should know we are Christians just by how we speak. Our weekly calendar should reflect activities of community service, outreach, and worship on a regular basis. I’m not saying I’m perfect and that I have this down, because I definitely don’t. What I am saying is that we need to start being intentional about our decision to follow Jesus, and make our decisions based on that. We shouldn’t be concerned with how many people might not like what we are doing, if we are living a life that reflects Jesus. Because if you are doing a good thing you will upset people. You can’t make everyone ‘happy’ and that certainly shouldn’t be our ultimate goal.

Change, yet again

2011-01-18T09:39:00.003-05:00

One of my college students has started his own blog. Its about his time in Italy this semester. When you get a chance, give it a read. He is a great guy who is considered a leader within our group, as well as, other circles in his life.

Our college group is definitely changing. I like it, and I don't like it: change that is.... We have some new class leaders this semester. In a few months, we will be on our first official mission trip as a group. We have started using "Small Mini Groups" (SMGs) as accountability groups. The college students are responsible for their own class on Sunday mornings. And it looks like the standard for me teaching will be in the summers, for just a few months.

The difficulty for me with college ministry is changing tactics to get others into the group, and then helping them leave the group years later. Each college student is different, and leaves at their own time. Thankfully, God has blessed me with a personality that continually looks at how to change a program or process for the better. For some reason, I can not be satisfied with "how things are". I am always looking at how to improve it. I guess its possible that looking at ministries from this perspective, particularly college ministry, might actually be a good thing.

* Quirky quotes

2011-01-06T19:16:00.003-05:00

First I am going to start out by saying that I completely forgot to mention that my daughter lost her first tooth and that my son got to be a pitcher (third string) in his fall ball league. These were quite momentous in 2010. Yet somehow they missed the list. Sigh.

I have two separate quotes for today. One for each child, which makes things nice and even! They even both have a nice combo of sweet/quirky/serious flavors to them. The first quote I sadly did not get to hear and I am only repeating the story as told by his teacher. However she is a reliable source and quite frankly it sounds bang on like something he would say. Today was carving day at school. A delightful day where a great guy came and gave his whole morning to helping third grade boys to carve pieces of wood into snakes. The boys LOVED it and I was able to see some portions of it during but not all. Brian (the guy giving his time) is a sweet spirited person and in ministry work full time. His faith oozes off him. Apparently when they were done with the snakes he had a nice talk with the boys about how much fun it would be to scare little sisters, etc. with the snakes, which I am sure the boys totally agreed with. He then added that as Christians we needed to think of others first so scaring our sisters was probably not a good idea. I am sure this sounded good in his head. However the wheels were turning in my sons head and he announced....

I haven't been baptized yet.

Apparently he felt this was a loophole. His friend in class must have agreed because he mournfully added that he was baptized when he was six. I guess no scaring sisters for his friend but my son was in the clear to scare to his little hearts content...for now... :)

I realize that we have some discussion, among other things, concerning the notion that after baptism there is nothing fun ever again. But the story still made me giggle, and his teacher said she nearly cried from laughing.

Today my daughter lied to me. I can not say this is the first time, but it was blatant. I admit she is a bit more free with the truth than her brother. When he lied it crushed me, with her I guess I was expecting it. Maybe it is the girl in her. :) While cleaning my son brought me two earrings. For about .0005 seconds I was a little excited because one belonged to a pair that I have worn for years and lost one a few months ago. To get the other back would be huge. However my mind quickly moved to the reality that my daughter had brought them down from the tray on the bathroom counter to play with them. Last week she was walking around with my pearls on - having no idea that the necklace she was 'playing' with cost any more than her dollar store beads. In confronting her with the earrings I did a classic parent fail moment. I asked her where they came from. I set her up to either lie or come clean. A better decision would have been to skip the part where I dared her to lie and just go to the don't play with my stuff talk, although truthfully that has clearly not taken deep root in her subconscious or I would not keep having it. Well she gave a lovely doe eyed 'I don't know where these came from, I promise I don't, really I don't I promise, I have no idea.' LIAR. I waited a few seconds and gave her another chance. Told her I knew they belonged in the bathroom, etc. She then said that she took them to play with. A fact I knew all along..., well except for .0005 seconds.

I then told her that lying to me meant that she didn't love me.

Total melt down.

Tears streaming, little girl face pressed into my abdomen telling me that she loves me 'so much.' Only someone truly devoid of emotion could have withstood that moment. (So that you know I am not evil I did give her many hugs, cried my self, told her how important she was to me, expressed that mommy does not lie to her, etc...) Somewhere in this moment I asked

How do I know you won't lie to me again?

Because I am crying!!!

I may be lacking in some emotion. I guess she didn't understand why her tears were not proof enough.

What a day.

* So Long 2010

2011-01-05T09:53:00.003-05:00

I will not go into much detail and whining about how I have not updated my blog for months - the only comfort is that others I know have not updated for longer times than myself. Strangely enough life goes on. I miss the updates because they are truly more for myself than anyone else, as I believe this next little story will illustrate.

I just finished reading the post from last year and was much entertained by some events. For those who are not going to flip back and read I will say that the day before I did 'So long 2009' it was college dinner and I made the college group put away Christmas. Off-handedly I remarked that the disorder of my stuff would be December 2010 Michelle's problem. I forgot that I had done that until I opened the boxes this year and it was my problem. Many things in order and some in random places. Opening the boxes was full of surprises. This year I took down the decorations a day before dinner so my stuff would be where it belonged. Lesson learned Michelle of January 2010, the Michelle of January 2011 was inspired to get back in the game a bit quicker!

Enough with that - on with the list of stuff for 2010, which naturally will be ten points long, because that is the only appropriate length.

Our house was on the market for a long time, by two different companies and eventually at a much reduced price and still did not sell. The market is completely a bummer and we subsequently took our house off the market in the fall. This has caused some introspection. We still wish to move. There are things I want to do that I can not accomplish in this subdivision. God will take care of it and we can be thankful that we were not in a position that we had to sell and lose tons of money.
My daughter started Kindergarten this year and is loving it. I can just now see some good learning habits and concepts take shape. Admittedly the first few months were all about the friends. But now she can read one vowel words and is getting reading for the step into two vowel rules. You can see the pride on her face when she reads. It is such a milestone.
My son continues to love school, but I believe his favorite part is the football card trading during snack. He can now sit through a football game and have an intelligent conversation about players and their positions and teams, with his dad of course, his mother does not care. Two days ago he informed me that it was Eli Manning's birthday. Who knew? Apparently they put that information on the back of the cards. So Eli Manning, wherever you are, we wished you a happy birthday.
My nieces spent three weeks at my house this summer, while my sister was recovering from surgery. That deserved its own post, but sadly fell into my slump of posting. We had a great time and we learned many things. For example, only my son could sleep in the same room as my youngest niece. He was the only one able to ignore her three year old chatter and fall asleep. The other girls would just talk back and things would ramp up from there.
This October I went on a ten day vacation with my mother to Italy. Another event that deserves its own post, with pictures, but has not quite come to fruition yet. It was a great blessing to have such extended time with my mom with no one else around to take her attention, which at this point is mostly grandkids. Because who looks at me anymore when my kids are in the room?
The kids got new furniture this year. My son got the typical young boy dream of bunk beds and my daughter finally got a big girl bed, since she has been in her toddler bed/crib bed since birth. That was a big event for us and a marker of their growth. We looked in nearly every store in town and through Craigslist, trying to meet everyone's requirements of style and budget. Exhausting.
This fall our Children's Ministry leader stepped down to take on the role of Preschool director. This allowed myself and another mom to step into that role. It has only been a few months but I am hopeful for 2011 to see how we can add our personal touches to this ministry.
Our college ministry continues to grow in so many ways. This year has been one in which they young adults themselves have taken on so much more leadership. It is great to be a part of their lives for so many years and to see God growing them. They now have Prime Ministers of Education and Social Planning as well as planning a return mission trip to Bayou LeBatre led by some of our newer members. God is rounding out the group and bringing in so many different opportunities.
Also this fall I began watching a little guy while his mom is at work, which has been tons of fun for all of us. He is thankfully an easy baby because we are quite mobile at times. It has been great to see how my children respond in taking care of him, especially how seriously my son works. Although the fact that he negotiated for part of my income in return for his work is another story. He is quite the money saver. He has nearly saved the cost of admission to Disney for a 4-7 days pass, because he intends to go for his tenth birthday, which leads to my final topic...
We went to Disney for my daughters fifth birthday. How did that not get a post?!?!?!? We managed to keep the trip a secret and it was awesome. While I thought my son would give it away. He himself was not completely sure what we were doing until he read Orlando at the check in desk. It helped that I packed at night and woke them at 4 in the morning to go to the airport. That will throw anyone off their game. My daughter was in heaven, especially her day at the Bibbity Boppity Boutique. This may inspire me to get a post up here all about that trip.

This experience has pretty much reminded more of what I have not done... Oh well. At least this list got done. :)

Transactional Relationships

2010-12-22T17:09:00.002-05:00

I was hanging out with some friends this weekend, when we started talking about relationships. One of them made the comment, “but I have invested so much into this relationship.” As you can imagine, this got me thinking….

When I hear phrases such as this, it makes me think that some consider relationships to be somewhat like a transaction. In other words, “if I put this much into it, then I should expect this kind of return.” Relationships do not work that way. That’s why love is so weird. It doesn’t follow basic Newtonian physics where you can PREDICT through various inputs, variables, and constants what it is going to do. This is why there are things like, “love at first sight, I fell head over heels for him, she makes me feel tingly all over.” It’s the same for why some would break laws for their spouses, while others won’t lift a finger for theirs. Relationships, and more specifically, marriages, are not transactions. Yes, you have to put effort into them. Yes, there are expectations, but there is no relationship between “I expect this kind of interaction, because I put this much work into it.” Think about it: How do you put a value on effort?

When we look at relationships from a transactional stand point, the other person will inevitably, disappoint us. It doesn’t matter how awesome they are, how drop dead gorgeous they are, or how rich they are. Because as long as we have a concept that “I have put X amount of time, energy, LIFE into this, therefore I deserve Y”, then we will never ever be fully satisfied.

However, when we look at a relationship from the stand point of both put into “this” to make it work, with God at the helm, then the relationship will progress in a positive manner. It won’t be perfect, as nothing is perfect but God, however, it will look more like what God intended. It will be beautiful in all respects. I guess you could say that true love is most apparent when there are fewer transactions within the relationship.

If you are in a relationship, do you do certain things so that you get certain things?

Prayer Circles

2010-11-04T14:50:00.003-04:00

I was recently at a prayer meeting. Its been a while since I had been to one of these things. Imagine, 12 people sitting around a table, holding hands, and going around the circle praying about what was on their hearts.

Pray circles are interesting. You get the email that invites you to some location so we can just pray. The email will usually have something about “you are in no way obligated to attend…blah blah blah.” The invite will also usually have something about the invitee being “moved by the Holy Spirit to invite you and others.” And, interestingly, the invite will usually include some type of declaration from the sender stating they “have no reason why they are inviting you, other than the Holy Spirit told them to.” Now, how do you turn that down??? How on earth do you turn down the Holy Spirit?! And yet at the same time, why can’t I just pray here, at my desk? Why do I need to be surrounded by others if we all we are going to do is pray? Why couldn’t this be one of those forwarded emails to tell me to pray right now so that I get a bazillion dollars but I will need to forward it to my entire contacts, and if I don’t then I must not be that great of a Christian…. I already pray for my ministries and others. Why do I need to go somewhere to pray?

This recent experience was amazing. We had a couple of elders, ministry leaders from various ministries, and our pulpit minister. The gentleman running the meeting asked us, “Why are you here? What were you thinking on your way here?” I’ll be honest, I wasn’t expecting that. I was geared for the more traditional, “let’s circle hands and start praying!” However, the reason I was there was to pray for my college group our church, and my family. Others were there to pray for the church, someone was sick in their life, someone wanted to pray that our church would be open. Someone wanted to pray about a job. So, before we started praying, we just talked.

Probably the most common example of prayer circles I have been associated with would be the kind from youth groups. Teens do them real well. They have no issue circling up, someone starts the prayer, and it goes around the circle. If you don’t feel like praying, you just simply squeeze the hand next to you and you can skip. The person getting the squeezed hand can tell your aversion to praying to how hard you squeezed his hand. Squeezing multiple times is the international sign for, “please pray! I do not want to pray publicly! I have an aversion to praying!” Your only worry in a teen youth group prayer circle is continually thinking about how clammy that other hand is, Of course, if you are a guy, you are trying to strategically place yourself by the hot church chick. This guy will probably never ask her out, but at least he gets to reminisce on holding her hand until the next prayer circle. Of course, if you are the hot church chick, you are trying to strategically place yourself as far away from the amazingly awkward guy during the prayer circle time….

Small groups do prayer circles to. In these situations, usually the small group leader takes prayer requests, everyone then circles up, then the leader gives the prayer. . You don’t have to worry about saying a prayer, just holding someone’s hand who is not your wife! If you plan your initial sitting right, you won’t be holding a man’s hand during this. Hey, you know you are thinking it, at least if you are a guy! Be honest; your are thinking to yourself right now: "boy, girl, boy, girl, ...."

Interestingly, there is no example of prayer circles in the bible (well, at least where they call out “holding hands”). Probably the most familiar example of group prayers is when Jesus takes his students off to pray right before he is arrested, and he comes back to find them sleeping. I am quite certain if they were circled up they would have stayed awake. Think about it: John is holding Peter’s hand and John starts to nod off. Peter would know by feeling John’s grip start to give. Peter could instantly put the death grip on him to wake him up! Problem solved. Jesus wouldn’t be lowering His expectations as he does when comes back finding them asleep!

Seriously, there is something about holding someone’s hand when you pray. I love it when my wife reaches for my hand when we start to pray. I can look at an order of worship on a Sunday and think to myself, “yep, she is going to grab my hand right there (pointing at the line that says ‘public prayer’)”. Even if we fought all the way to church, yelling at the kids to act appropriately; I know she will grab my hand for the prayer. It might hurt like hell, but she will still grab it.

I knew this elderly couple who had held hands to pray ever since they met. That’s a lot of hand holding! I really respected this couple. The gentleman was a mentor of mine. I can remember sitting in church across the aisle from them. I stole a peek one Sunday, and watched as they silently closed hands while some guy prayed. It was beautiful. Their hands looked like they were made for each other! It was like there were indentions on the hands that would only fit the spouse’s hand!

Holding hands brings us comfort. It gives us peace. But let’s face it: in a prayer circle it keeps us on our toes! Who do I sit by? Is it knuckles opened? Do I cup the hand? How hard do I squeeze? Will they look at me the same after an hour long hand hold?

This current prayer circle started this week. I’ll be honest, I wasn’t expecting much. I really felt like we were just going to talk out loud to God then go on home. Man, was I wrong…. The Holy Spirit came into that room! We plan to meet every week until God provides what we are needing. I was truly at peace in that room, and yet my spirit inside was being stirred as well. We all had very similar prayers: church growth, church healing, openness in communication, etc. There was a feeling the Spirit was providing guidance, but not necessarily answers, yet. I’ll keep you up to date on how it goes. I think Michelle is going to go next week.

By the way, is there something I can pray for you?

Excuse me sir, do you know where your soul will spend eternity?

2010-10-19T15:23:00.001-04:00

I got witnessed to yesterday. It wasn’t the first time, and I am sure it won’t be the last. I was at a local mountain bike park, putting my gear on, when this guy came up to me, “hey man how is it going? You come here often?” I’ll be honest, the initial conversation kind of threw me for a loop. It sort of sounded like the beginnings of a pickup line! I was a little nervous; I’m not going to lie! Anyway, we exchanged names, then he hit me with it: “brother, can I give you a tract that shows how the bible is the absolute truth and that we should do exactly what it says?”

“Sure, man,” I responded. “I am a college minister, and I am always looking for new material!” Amazingly, he looked a little dejected and yet, relieved at the same time. It’s like he was thinking, “oh you’re a Christian? I wasted all that energy building up the nerve to come over to a total stranger to share my faith, something that is the most important part of my existence, and you already are saved?! I sure wish you had a ‘I’m a Christian, save your energy for someone else T-shirt’, but now that I know you are ‘one of us’ we can go share something that is very special and dear to my heart: bike riding!” Well, maybe that wasn’t exactly what he was thinking, but I am sure it was close….

Witnessing is one of those things us Christians do that a lot of non-Christians just don’t understand. And for us Christians, a lot of times its just plain awkward. Think about it: you go up to a complete stranger, ask them how their day is going, wait the proverbial (and polite) 5 seconds and then because we are so nervous about witnessing to a total stranger we interrupt their answer by blurting out something like: “if you died right now, do you know where your soul would spend eternity?” THERE!!!! I said it! And not only did I say it, I said it to a total stranger!!!! Here, have a tract with strategically orchestrated verses that are probably taken out of context to scare you into going to church 5 days from now….The other guy is thinking, “dude, I just want to pay for this latte!” Somehow, we Christians think that we can get into a deep conversation with someone by “going all the way”: eternal salvation. Sharing your faith is a great thing, but starting at the end of the Story is not the Gospel.

I think my most unusual experience with being witnessed to was sitting in an airport in Shanghai, waiting to come home after 3 weeks in China. This particular trip was actually the second trip in the course of two months. The first one went pretty good, until the day I was heading to the airport. There was an issue at the plant I was working at, and I had to return the following week. So its at the end of this second trip that this Caucasian lady comes up to me. I’ll admit I was rather grumpy, and wanting nothing more but to be home. But she decides to come over and talk to me about Jesus….

Think about that for a moment……

A Caucasian lady comes up to a Caucasian man, in the SHANGHAI AIRPORT (that’s china for you geologically challenged public schoolers) to give a testimony that is supposed to be the most important thing in her life!!

It turns out that she was at the end of a mission trip where her group had “witnessed” to hundreds of Chinese peasants out in the country, handed out hundreds of bibles, and prayed for all kinds of things with these new converts. I’ll be honest, I was quite impressed with her story. But then she chooses me to tell the Good News one more time, before going home?!? What was it about me that led her over to me? Was it my shirt? The book I was reading?

I responded that yes I know Jesus, and He and I are pretty close. Amazingly, she responded with almost a half hearted, “oh. Well…. That’s great. Just great.”

A couple of years ago Michelle and I were involved with a church that decided it would be a good idea to hand out “business cards” with “the message” on them. We were convinced they were not tracts! They were business cards! Surely people would be more accepting of a business card! Can’t you see it now? “excuse me sir, how is your day going?”

“its going…”

“great. Glad to hear. I have this business card here with the story of Jesus on it. I was wondering if you would be interested in taking it and learning about how to save your soul.”

“…uh, sure. Man, I’m glad that you weren’t going to hand out a tract. But a business card, well that’s different! I’ll see you at church next Sunday!”

“Sweet.”

What is it that tells us we can put the story of Jesus on to a business card, give it to someone, and everything will be OK? The book of John clearly tells us if everything was written down about what Jesus did, there wouldn’t be enough space on the earth to hold them all. Its almost like we use the tracts (sorry, business cards) as a “get out of evangelism card”. If we hand them out, then we don’t have to get close to them….

I have to confess that I actually left one of these business cards with a tip at a local restaurant. I felt pretty good about myself. It was a subtle gesture. We had been to the restaurant a couple of time previous, and coincidentally knew the waitress didn’t go to church. So that SUNDAY, I dropped my own bomb in the way of a “business card” along with my expected 15.7% tip. Hey, she was late on the drink refills a couple of times! Give me a break…..

A year or so later we were at another restaurant. I am not sure how it started, but we found ourselves in the middle of a conversation with the waiter. He was a really cool guy, who was very interested in what we were doing. We found ourselves talking to him about almost everything. He asked about our kids. Where we were from. We asked about his life. He was married, no kids. Then out of the blue: “…blah blah blah…our church…blah blah blah… God has blessed me so much…. Blah blah blah.” It just flowed like water. It took me a minute, but he was telling his story of Jesus, but it was in a way that it was just a part of his life! So, I decided to drop my bomb on him, “do you go to church?” His face answered the question, before his mouth did, “yeah, man. But I work a lot, and sometimes I work on Sundays. But it’s cool. God is with me all the time.” I was waiting for the tract, but it never came! Michelle and I spent a few more minutes talking with him, and in the middle of talking to him, he mentioned something about getting some “business cards” as a “tip” recently. He wasn’t real pleased with that….

It’s not that I am opposed to tracts. I think they can be effective. But if all you do is hand one out, you are missing the true Message of Jesus. To reach someone, you have to build a relationship with them. You have to show them Jesus through your actions: being positive in thinking, using God’s name in a complimentary and respectful manner, giving Him the credit. You have to be genuinely interested in someone’s life. You have to be patient, and being patient is hard. I think one reason why the earth couldn’t hold all the books of Jesus life is because if it did, we would find some way of handing it out to people. Jesus wants us to get know people. He wants us to express Him through our actions. When we know people and express Him through our actions, we are spreading the message of Jesus. I wonder if that would fit on a business card……

Traveling

2010-10-11T12:34:00.002-04:00

Well, I am sure by now many of you are wanting an update on Michelle’s trip to Italy. You are going to have to wait until next week, after she gets home! I am most certain she is going to have amazing stories of her adventure. Stay tuned….

A couple of days before Michelle left on her trip, she came home and walked right up to me rather determined. I could see it coming, and it was a walk, of, “we are fixing to have a discussion of something of high importance!” I wasn’t really sure what it was going to be about, but I did have enough time to reflect back over the last few days to see if I had forgotten anything: Take the garbage out? Pick David up from ball practice? Did I leave my kids at church? I thought I was free and clear! Then she said, “when were you going to tell me about the terrorist threat in Europe?!”

Alright, I’ll admit it: I wasn’t expecting that one. True, I knew about the terrorist threat. True, I had researched it to the best of my abilities, and determined that there was a relatively low risk of an event happening in Europe during the week her and mother would be there, and even lower probability of something happening in the specific locations on her itinerary. So, based on my analysis, I chose to not mention it to her, saving her any undo anxiety…..

“I didn’t tell you because I saw no immediate threat to your travel plans, and didn’t want to have this conversation we are fixing to have,” I said rather dejectedly. With her hands on her hips, she looked at me in a way that would tell anyone that wasn’t the answer she was looking for, but somehow expecting. I went on to tell her the specific threats, and how I believe she and her mother would still be safe, and that if I felt that there was a possibility of her being injured, I would have asked her not to go. After a while, she began to calm down, but I am pretty sure that even now, I am not completely out of the woods.

Anyway, the week goes on, her mom comes up, we take them off to the airport, and away they went to Italy. Presently, they are having a great time, and I look forward to the numerous stories they will be telling when they return.

The kids have been absolutely awesome the last few days. Don’t get me wrong: they miss their mom, but they seem to know she is ok. We pray each night that her and grandma are safe, and that they return on time, and ok. They just seem to have this peace about them, knowing she and grandma will be ok. I’ll be honest, we have had a few conversations about “missing mommy”, and “when does she get home?”, but for the most part, its business as usual.

I think a lot of their acceptance has to do with my travels to China a few years back. They would escort me to the airport, give me a big hug, and then send me on way for 3 weeks. Those trips were absolutely brutal. But the kids got used to me leaving, and me returning. For them, just going to the airport was an adventure! In the end, they knew I would be back.

But I don’t think it’s just my trips that have helped my kids this time. I think they know God is with mom and grandma, and that He is going to keep them safe. Abby continually sings about God being everywhere. David asks about “going to church” in Italy. Their prayers are focused on keeping mommy safe. We haven’t specifically talked about God’s presence with them on their trip, but something tells me that they believe it.

I firmly believe without a sense of presence of God in one’s life, that life is a lot more anxious. We have to make decisions ourselves. When plans like possible terrorist threats look to derail our travel plans, we start looking to see what we can do about it. The only thing we can do about that is decide to not go! But knowing God is with you, knowing you are saved by a belief in Jesus and what He did for you, knowing you have a unique purpose in this life; these things bring peace to an otherwise anxious life. True, we can make a lot of decisions on our own, but if you don’t have to, why would you?

I think my kids are teaching me a lesson in regards to what Jesus says about having a faith like these little ones. It’s amazing how much we can learn from children, specifically in regards to their faith. They truly believe that mommy and grandma will be ok, and that will be home soon. They just will. Period. Somewhere along the way while we are growing up, we decide what is best for ourselves. How unfortunate is that?

* Quirky Quotes

2010-09-09T18:54:00.002-04:00

My son can be a great help to me, much to his annoyance. My sympathies to him. I am the older child. I know that the oldest can feel the weight of doing 'more work.' Truthfully he does do more of the cleaning of the play room and he has graduated to larger chores before his sister has fully entered 'independent playroom cleaning 101.' He has conveniently forgotten that his responsibilities at five were also pretty slim and that his sister is not nine. Sigh.

Last week during an evening of cleaning he had done about all his third grade tolerance could handle. When I said...

Now that you are done sweeping take the vacuum upstairs.

He took the vacuum upstairs.

I overheard his sister ask at the top of the stairs...

Are you going to vacuum up here?

He replied...

No, Mom only told me to bring the vacuum upstairs.

Note to self. Clarify cleaning instructions with all steps in the process.

Things (not) to Say in Church

2010-09-07T10:48:00.005-04:00

Michelle introduced me to a book this weekend: “Permission to Speak Freely” by Anne Jackson. It’s a book that was inspired by Anne’s blog, when she asked the question: “what is one thing you feel you can’t say in church?”

When I first heard what it was about, I was immediately skeptical: “How could there possibly be something you can’t say in church?” Church is a place where one should feel safe, able to think openly, is accepted for who you are, feel surrounded by other believers with a common goal, etc….

But then I started thinking about this question…. Is it possible that there are things that we (Christians) are NOT supposed to say in church? Maybe another way of looking at it is, “are there things others in our own congregations PRAY we never say?”

Are there certain topics that we know we don’t discuss? Demanding justification for financial aid comes to mind…. Are you worthy for the money we can offer you? Yes, you are only asking for us to pay your heating bill this month, but how do we KNOW you will actually use this money for the heating bill, and not alcohol or the lottery, or…..? We require a signed declaration of where the funds are to be used (our approval obviously), and in the event that we find out that our funds have been used for other services or purchases without the written consistent of us, the leaders, you are required to pay back in full plus 50%. I mean, come on! People have actually asked for food for their children, then turned around and used that money for gas in their car. Who knows where they went using our money for gas! We can’t trust people these days!

Are there individuals that we shouldn’t question? The preacher is always right. The elders know what is best. They have been leading that ministry for decades now! They know what they are doing. The personality of the church is driven by the personality of the leaders.

Are there questions we don’t ask, because we don’t want to hear the answer? Why didn’t I pick up that homeless guy on the way to our church’s Family Meal time? Because he would lower the average net income of our congregation. He smells (it would cost so much to clean the interior of my SUV, so I am actually being a good steward of God’s money by NOT picking him up….) He looks scary and w are trying to attract DINKS (dual income no kids ) into our church family! We need their (the DINKS, not the homeless man!) “tithing” to meet our budget! How do you expect us to attract upper class families when we have lower class individuals among us? Quite frankly, I don’t want to associate with him.

Are there sins we don’t confess, because of the retribution they will bring? Growing up, the fastest way to get you kicked out of a congregation was to confess adultery, divorce, or struggling with homosexuality. It seems back then, Christians were perfect in all respects and demanded no less from anyone who even might be considering becoming one. Heaven forbid you were a preacher or considered to be a leader in a congregation and get caught up in the drama of an illicit affair! That immediately won you an “open letter” (thanks to John Acuff for this thought!) sent to all surrounding churches (within the proper denomination of course) explaining in gross detail the facts of your sin, verses to backup why you were dis-fellowshipped, and what could possibly happen to a congregation that would even cherish the thought of accepting you(supporting verses included obviously). We are so fortunate that situations like this don’t happen anymore!

Whoa….. Maybe there is more to this topic than I originally thought.

Well, I am going to give credit to Anne Jackson for sparking this particular blog. But now I am going to ask the question: what is something you feel you can’t say in church? And why? Don’t worry! It’s not like I am going to publish them! You can trust me. Only responses that include your full name, place of residence, and church membership will be considered legitimate.

Change, for the Better....

2010-08-18T14:02:00.001-04:00

It’s been an interesting few weeks. Our kidzone program at church is starting up for the school year, My son moved up a grade, My little girl started school, and my college students are requesting changes to the program. Wow! Where do I start?!

So, if you are new to the blog “Kidzone” may not sound familiar. This is a program at our church where children and parents come together to learn bible stories, virtues, sing songs, and laugh. We do a LOT of laughing. There are also skits, where actors present a story in a way that is memorable. Our annual program started again last Sunday, and I am really looking forward to this year.

One of the major changes this year is that our youth group is going to be more involved in our “family time” program (kidzone). I am really excited about this change. And from some of the discussions within the youth group, they are excited as well. But it is not only them that are excited. My kids look forward to it. This is how we, as a congregation, have decided to educate our children about God’s Word and how to live their lives 7 days a week. The actors, media operators, and volunteers look forward to it as well.

School officially started for us this week. The first day of school is always a hard one for any parent. Michelle and I are involved in a home school co-op. This means that 3 days a week our children attend a school with a small class room setting, and the other days Michelle primarily teaches them through a lesson plan generated by the classroom teacher. This year, I plan to teach my son music, along with some shop skills such as wood working, and possible small engine repair. I am not real sure what that is going to look like yet, but I do have a plan. Change, it’s a coming….

My little girl started school this year! Many of you can relate, I know. There is something special about the bond between a dad and his little girl. It’s different from the relationship between his son. The son relationship is more on the lines of friend and possible cohort (depending on the act of sneakiness), mixed in with mentor, teacher, instructor. The relationship with a daughter is more, body guard, protector…. She is my little princess, even though she wants to go as fast as possible on jetskis, “fixes” her bike when daddy is in the garage, and can drop kick you like nobody’s business. She still loves pink, prefers skirts over shorts, and is not afraid to tell you if your blouse matches your shoes or not! She is “daddy’s little princess”. God is good. He knows how to combine the specific personalities with the right individuals. These are His creations. God bless them.

My College students are growing up to. We are starting our third year of college ministry at Farragut! At the beginning, we had 6 college students. We now have over twenty young adults attached to our group on a regular basis. Our focus is quite simple: “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make you paths straight.” – Prov. 3:5-7. Instead of focusing on bible study time, Michelle and I pushed our group of young adults to serve more. Formally, we had one official bible study each week. We also set up multiple serving opportunities for them. It was up to them which one they did on a regular basis. Over the months it clicked. We have a couple of ministry areas that are not managed by us anymore, but by the college members. I think this is awesome! It shows the growth of maturity and responsibility that we try to foster within them.

However, recently they asked for something that, on the surface, went against my main philosophy. I personally don’t believe in having formal classes on Sunday mornings for college students. I would prefer to have those in my ministry serve on Sundays. Some disagreed. And it was out this particular group that some came to us and asked if we could provide a formal class on Sunday mornings. We told them to go for it, but that we would be doing our thing in Kidzone. The college students that serve in Kidzone were concerned that this “separation” would have the opportunity to create different “tribes” within our group. And it was at this point that we had to address a topic that Michelle and I have been avoiding for a year now.

Our ministry is approaching a time where we are going to have to multiply our group during formal bible study times. We have noticed that the discussions are not that deep recently. Many of the young adults speak in generalities, and not necessarily about personal struggles. We have ideas that we are speaking of, but nothing has been formalized as of yet. This previous Sunday evening was a great time of openness, where many of the young adults shared their feelings, concerns, and desires for the group. They are growing. Maturing. Most importantly they are changing in front of each other.

Change is hard. It’s hard for many if not all of us. I have been fortunate to be some type of change agent in most of my jobs. By that doesn’t make it easy for me. And in my present role as college minister, it is even more difficult. I have to somehow attract young adults into our group, make them feel welcome and accepting, and then push them out into the adult “programs” of “big” church. It’s hard; really hard. I mess up sometimes. I lose track of young adults on the fray. I assume my way is the best way, without giving theirs a chance to resonate. I am constantly trying to new approaches to reach them….

We left Sunday evening with changes to implement. They (the young adults) would be responsible for the formal class on Sunday mornings. I would be responsible for the time we are together on Sunday evenings. Once Kidzone was over on Sunday mornings, we would go to the class they were teaching. We are going to break up into small groups on Sunday nights with the intention to go deeper within the group. I’ll let you know how it goes.

Turning My Brain Off

2010-07-30T13:54:00.001-04:00

Michelle and the kids finally got home last night. Every year, Michelle takes them down to her moms to spend the week there. The last few years this has not affected me too much, as I would be in China. However this year, I “had to fend for myself” for a week. It’s amazing how much I just turn off in my head when she is around. I’ll give you a few examples.

Grocery Store

Friday I went to the grocery store to get food for the week. Let me caveat that by saying I pretty much knew I had my weekend and week full for dinners and lunches, because I was going to be eating out with others to discuss business or hangout with college students. But for some reason, come Friday afternoon, I felt like I needed to go to the grocery store. Once I get there, it’s like I draw blank:

“What do I buy? I know I need to eat but what do I eat? Michelle cooks. What does she cook? I don’t cook. I grill. What would I grill? STEAK! Oh, wait I need jetski oil. I can do that! I have done that before. Jetski oil, steaks….. what else?”

By the time it was all said and done, I had spent almost as much as what Michelle would spend in a month for all of us! By the way, I haven’t eaten half of it.

Boat Safety

That evening, I took my jetskis out on the lake to do a test for in the morning. I had some teens planning to ride them, and I wanted to make sure they were riding ok before in the morning. I back the skis down into the water, and notice a LOT of gas floating on the surface. My initial thought was that someone previously had just emptied out their boat before loading it on to their trailer. As a jetski owner, this should have triggered an alarm, an alarm that normally would have been present with my wife and kids around….

I climb on top of one of the skis and begin to try to start the jetski. All of the sudden, a huge detonation comes out of the hull of the ski! This explosion blew the front lid open, shooting the storage compartment 3 feet up in the air! At the same time, a fire ball comes out of from under the seat singing the hairs on my legs. Turns out the gas floating in the lake was from my ski. It had a gas leak, and thanks to the ridiculously hot weather recently, there was a massive amount of gas fumes under the seat, waiting to be ignited.

Cleaning

On the way home on Sunday, our realtor called saying she had a showing. I get home and start looking around for floor cleaner. Turns out, glass cleaner does NOT clean ceramic floor tile! Where does all “that stuff” come from that I sweep off the hardwood floors? It’s only been me here for a few days! How does Michelle arrange the pillows on our bed so they look so “Ethan Allen” like? Do I leave lights on or off? Closet doors open or closed?

Cooking

I finally got around to cooking pizza. Slightly more conscious of my lack of attentiveness to certain tasks, I read the directions for the frozen pizza, and followed it to tee! I was so excited: preheat oven to 450 degrees. Check. Unwrap pizza from box. Already did that. Set on middle rack. We only have 2! Uh…. I’ll set it on the top and hope for the best. I come back in exactly 11 minutes, and the pizza is looking awesome. It’s got that brownish color to it that I love so much. I open the door, reach my hand into the oven, and am a milli second away from grabbing the thing WITH MY BARE HANDS, when a little voice in my head says, “hot.” It doesn’t scream at me like,” HEY! Idiot! Stop before you burn your fingers off!” It very politely and calmly says, “hot.” Thankfully, I listened.

These are only a few examples of how my brain seems to turn off when Michelle is around. There were others, like looking for Q-tips, pillows to sleep on, ceiling fan noise, door for the mailbox, etc. that I am not going to get into. The experience really showed how much I just seemed to have turned over to her. I wonder if she has similar experiences like these?

Liars

2010-07-27T08:12:00.004-04:00

This summer, Michelle and I have been teaching a series to our college group on relationships. We have a great group of young adults that are mixed together from backgrounds such as financial, social, spiritual, and also personal maturity. Its been an absolute blessing to spend time with them. Not only do we teach them, but they teach us as well.

Sunday night one of them was scheduled to teach, but a lesson that I started in the morning went long, and we decided to carry it over. I talked about lying. Specifically, I played a clip from Radio Lab, titled "Deception". Its a documentary about lying, pathological liars, and the science behind lying. The clip that I played was about a con-woman who had gotten into the life of a friend of the producer. The phrase that I focused on was, "...and he has never had any close friends since...."

Think about that for a minute....

Imagine that where you are in this world right now, you would not ever develop a new intimate relationship! The only "serious" relationships you will have, are those that you presently have, for the rest of your life! As you can imagine this didn't sit very well with early 20s. They have their entire life ahead of them! And that was the point: Don't lie!

I know you might find this hard to believe, but I come across a little, let's say, harsh periodically. I have been called blunt. Emotionless. Unsympathetic. Its very rare that those that know me ask me how their new hairdos look. My reason for this, is that I do everything I can to not lie to people. And what amazes me sometimes is how difficult it is! Some people just don't want to be told the truth. They have an answer in their head, and that is what they want to hear. When they don't hear "that", they get their feelings hurt. And what I find absolutely fascinating is that something as simple as an opinion about a dress can have SERIOUS ramifications later! But the truth is, I am no different. As blunt and honest as I am, I also find myself asking people opinions when I already have the answer in my head.

On the other side of the coin, we don't want to hurt peoples' feelings. As one of our young adults mentioned Sunday night,"I understand I am not telling the ACTUAL truth, but it is just a white lie, and I don't want to hurt their feelings." And its that type of perception that is completely misunderstood. The effects of lying on a relationship are sum totals of many lies. The more lies I tell, the more you don't trust me. I keep telling you over and over that, "you look great in that dress", and eventually you catch me one time. You aren't impacted by that one lie! All the rest come with it!

My own personal opinion is that lying has its roots somewhere with the fear of confrontation. I am definitely no psychologist, but that seems to be rather obvious. "If I can get out of this immediate situation, then maybe I can regroup later to defend my actions!" Or more than likely, I will avoid you like the plague from now on, because I don't want to to talk about this particular topic!

Towards the end of the radiolab podcast, the hosts interview a guy who studies lying. He gives the "professional definition of lying", talks about how bluffing in poker is not lying, due to the fact that all competitors know that part of the game is bluffing, and he also talked about a fascinating experiment he did a few years back: He didn't lie for an entire year!

Imagine that for a minute.

"Honey, do I look fat in this dress?"
"Do you like my hair cut?"
"Would you like to come over? I am having a party tonight."
"What did you think of my presentation?"

In this year, as he put it, he learned how to speak eloquently so as to do the least harm on some one's feelings. The cliffnotes version is: avoid answering directly, but be honest. It is actually possible to answer someone without hurting their feelings. You have to KNOW them. By that, I mean you have to have a pretty good idea of how they will react to the news. He talks about how difficult it was to choose his words carefully. He says it was literally exhausting sometimes.

And that is my point: its easier to lie. If we just tell them what they want to hear, they won't be disappointed.

But is that really true?

If we just go over for a few minutes, be fashionably late, speak to 5 people, agree on the hand signals with the spouse to get us out of there, and then politely leave after the 2nd person who leaves, then they will be happy when they talk to us about their party on Monday. Even though we never wanted to go in the first place.

If we invite 40 people into our home when it can only accommodate 20, because some of those 20 have relationships with a select few that we don't want to associate with, but if they found out about our party and were not invited they would have their feelings hurt. So, we over invite people with the thought that they will be in our home and we may not actually have to speak to them because there are so many people at our party!

Whew! Its exhausting!

I think we just need to be honest. We need to spend some energy and choose our words carefully. We also need to NOT have high expectations of what we want to hear. It goes both ways. Again, relationships are two way streets. Let's treat them that way.

* Differences

2010-07-15T17:03:00.002-04:00

Yet another piece of data in the differences in my children...

All those who have traveled with children in the backseat know that at times the noise from that small square footage can seem more than you can take. Sometimes I loose my cool, others I can ignore it, sometimes I fall in the middle. My favorite technique is to turn up the volume on the radio. This works 99.5% of the time.

Yesterday I turned up the volume with little success so I went for step two, turning it up more. This succeeded in quieting my son but NOT my daughter. So I went to step three, turning it more again. The music quite loud now and should be getting my point across. I look in the rear view mirror and she is doing a 'disco' style dance move and head banging. The mix of styles is unfortunate but the fact that my technique was completely ineffective really stunk.

Sigh.

Just another example of how the teenage years will go for me. (Not her dad of course who is PITIFUL and the one in this family she can manipulate in milliseconds)

* Rich

2010-07-08T19:20:00.002-04:00

Let us all assume that you have seen the list of questions designed to point out how rich we are. I have clothes on my back, a roof over my head and food in the refrigerator. Which makes me richer than 75% of the world. Owning a computer make me one of the top 1%. By definition if you are reading this - you also have a computer and are as rich as I am. The statistics are interesting, yet rarely motivating. Sad really. Apparently most of us need to literally be hit in the head with a 2x4 to feel anything.

Yesterday the kids and I traveled over to the inner city church for lunch, which our college ministry serves weekly through the summer. I have said before how glad I am to have an active service outlet for my family and particularly my children. I try not to stress over numbers and that is good since yesterday we fed three teenagers, along with our selves. Not the largest crowd. I flippantly said we were focusing on quality not quantity that day. That flip remark turned out to be true. For over an hour I stood in a basement kitchen talking with three of our under privileged youth in this city. They were helpful and tolerant of my differences. I was the one out of place. They were at home and comfortable.

Admittedly I am older than is 'cool' and amazingly out of touch. Instead of trying to be something I am not I honestly admit I know nothing. They found my lack of coolness entertaining and spent fifteen minutes scrolling through the music on their phones to find something I had heard. They finally found one. During this process I also was introduced to a song by Mary Mary called 'God in Me' which I really liked. I promised to go home and listen to more. During this time another adult walked through the room and within a minute alienated all three of those teens. He probably thought he was meeting 'today's underprivileged.' I have no doubt he does good things, but that minute wasn't one of them. In his attitude he angered rather than endeared them. When he left they turned to me and asked if I liked him. I could only honestly say I did not know him well. It was interesting to see the response and it comforted me to know I wasn't failing miserably.

Let's bring those threads together now. (money and honesty fo rthose who weren't follow the 'threads') A few minutes later the teens and I joined the minister and one of our college students for a great discussion in the basement nursery about church and community etc.. During that discussion one of the girls asked me if I was rich. I immediately backed off and said a safe thing like I was rich compared to the rest of the world. We talked a little about how America overall is richer than billions of people. That was not satisfying to her. She asked again and I took a deep breathe and said,

"Yes I am rich"

(That is hard to say since we seem trained to always compare ourselves to those with more, but truly the statistic of being in the top 1% is true)

Her response "Then you are one of those good rich people"

In an emotional moment I could have cried. She spoke honestly with me and appreciated my honesty in return. To her I am drippingly rich. I know some one who once showed the average income by zip code. My church building sits in a zip code of over 100000 average income per year. (three times that of our state) The inner city church building sits in a zip code of less than one fourth of that. The difference between our resources are vast.

What do I do with my richness? Lament the fact that I am wealthy since Christ said it would be hard to get into to heaven? I do not think that is the answer, although stuff and money often get in our way to seeking God and His kingdom. I think the answer to being rich is same as the solution to many situations. Honesty. Admitting what we have and that it belongs to God Himself. I should not back away from the reality of what I have, it doesn't help me and it doesn't help those I see in the inner city. I watched as honesty was more effective than good intentions. I didn't like admitting I didn't know their music or that I had way more than they did. But pushing them away would be worse.

There are so many people I know with tons more money than I have. Their bank account has a lot more zeros at the end. Their houses are bigger and nicer and have pools and theater rooms and custom cabinetry.

However looking up at the rest of the 1% is not the true picture. I need to be honest with myself and not back away from the fact that I am rich. (And you my friends on the computer are too)

Thank you ATT for No Cell Phone Service

2010-06-28T11:18:00.006-04:00

We went traveling this past weekend. We went to Fontana Village and Resort. This place is 2 miles from Fontana Dam, and there is all kinds of things to do. Its a perfect spot to just get away, or even stay for a week or two. We will definitely get back soon.

Since US129 (Tail of the Dragon) is closed due to a rockslide, we had to go through Cherokee, NC. This route took us about an hour longer. It wasn't too long before we figured out we had no cell service. With the place being a "resort", I kind of expected to have cell service once I got there, so I wasn't too concerned. Well, when we got to the resort, we still had no cell service. Interestingly, if we had Verizon, we would have.....

At first, I was frustrated with ATT for not having cell service in the middle of the Smokies. But then, I changed my opinion. Why was I here? To have a day AWAY, and as much as I would like to think I would put my phone down, I don' think I would have. For that reason, I am thankful to ATT for not having cell service up there. Some places just don't need it.

Do you find it difficult to put your phone down for extended periods? Can you shut it off for a weekend? Or, are you like me and need a place with no cell service to go to?

*Something Better

2010-06-17T17:22:00.004-04:00

Children are the greatest spiritual teachers out there in bodily form. God speaks most to me through the words and actions of my children. As some may know we are hosting our nieces through VBS and others may also know that my daughter tends to have the roughest time during these visits. 95% of the time everyone is happy and getting along, but if one princess is going to be unhappy it tends to be mine. She is more used to being the solitary princess that the other two, who are used to having another girl around. The youngest tends to get what she asks for, because her sister and my son will sweep in and hand it over because she is the smallest. Anyway... my daughter was having one of those times when her brother was giving to my youngest niece at the 'expense' of his sister. When handing out the cereal bowls this morning he gave the one my daughter wanted to my niece because she also wanted it. This was most upsetting and prompted some crying. Feeling like she needed some special attention I offered a 'special breakfast' when we got to the church building. "Just me and you" This special breakfast being a trip to the buffet in the library for the VBS workers:) I knew I was offering something better than the bowl of cereal that was causing such drama. I knew there were strawberries and donuts and bagels, etc that she loves to eat. I knew this was a treat.

She did not. She cried some more and begged for a bowl of cereal in the color she wanted. She did not want purple or green. She needed PINK!

I offered again and promised a wonderful treat and time with momma. She snuffed and consented against her better judgement.

Then in the car she told me she didn't want my treat.

I was quite irritated with her at this time, and hurt. I knew what I offered was better and that she would love it and it was the best offer available to her, but in her anger and hurt and, I may say, in her pride she didn't want it. She wanted what she wanted, not what I offered.

How often do I do that with God?

I cry and I beg and I whine for what I want. When all the while he is calling me to something better, because He Knows what I do not.

Later I pulled my daughter aside and showed her the buffet of food she told me she didn't want. I was tempted to not give it to her, because she was so snippy to me, but instead we went through the line and she got a donut and some fruit and some milk and was so happy sitting alone with mom.

And I who know how to give good things to my daughter am a broken person. How much more does my Father in heaven know how to give good things?.... if only I would let go of what I am begging for and see what He has to offer instead. It will always be something better.

* Medical Adventures

2010-06-12T11:00:00.002-04:00

My niece reminded me the other day that I had not posted on my son's medical adventures. She did this in an unexpected way, not in a straight forward "Aunt Michelle you need to post about my cousin." Instead she ran down the steps and dramatically announced that my son was "laying on the floor of [my] room and he looks sick." I panicked and ran upstairs to find him laying on the floor of my room holding his leg because he had bumped it in that spot on your knee cap that just hurts. A praise to God for that spot and praise God that was all that was wrong.

Since January Judah and I have walked around expecting something else.

Two summers ago our son awoke, the final morning of the youth mission trip, having a seizure. This was most upsetting to Judah because he saw it as they were in a boys room. I missed it and only saw the next 45 minutes of lethargy when we couldn't keep him awake or responsive. Not fun. We then drove the entire area of Mobile looking for the children's hospital. We found two other hospitals before locating the one we wanted. By that time our son was up and conversing and looking like nothing was wrong. They did some blood work, declared it a febrile seizure since he was still 6 and he had a fever. Hopefully never to happen again.

And for 18 months it didn't.

This January at another youth trip Judah sat up in bed and declared that our son was having another seizure. In that split second I thought it odd that he could know that so quickly. Then I heard the teeth grinding and nasal secretions and since then I can hear it quite easily as well even from rooms away. It is not a sound easily forgotten. Having experienced the first one Judah was ahead of me on that day. He was indeed having another seizure. Lasted 1-2 minutes and then again 45 minutes of lethargy and crying (for those who have seen neuro patients cry you will know the sound/look - for others you will not, a neuro cry is not a cry of pain as you normally see/hear it) We very handily had a physician on that trip with us and he (and his family) very graciously allowed us to wake them up at the early hour of eight (early for a youth ski trip) Soon enough our son came around - the group prayed for us and we began the travel home, because we were six hours from a decent hospital and one just never knows... After he became himself again our son was pissed that we left and he didn't get another day of skiing.

We called our pediatrician when we returned, got a routine office visit and an appointment for an EEG. I am going to pick up the pace... Very little sleep on EEG night, which thrilled our son because he and I were playing Wii at 11:30 and that was very cool. Having to sleep at the EEG was not his thing but cuddled next to mom it went ok. That afternoon we made him take a nap (which he protested because he had already slept once that day and he doesn't TAKE NAPS anymore) Against his will he did anyway because we had to travel the next day (or so we thought) but that is another post.

Normal EEG. Got an appointment with a neuro doc just for kicks. Mom and dad feel better. Then a few weeks later dad is at his early morning men's prayer/bible study and I heard the teeth and the secretions and was out of bed and across the hall to find my son on the floor. No fun to watch. My heart goes out to those parents who have witnessed more than I. This seizure got us a moved up neurologist appointment and an MRI. The neuro doc reported that he had benign Rollandic seizures. They happen only at night and rarely develop into the full blown ones that we have seen. Most are confined to his face. With this information the amazing amount of drool marks on his pillow/sheets over the past couple of years makes heaps more sense...

Normal MRI. Much to Judah's frustration there is nothing that we know that triggers the seizures. We can not ensure avoidance through proper eating or sleeping or illness, etc. That has not stopped our paranoia when he runs a fever or gets over tired. It has also found us getting up to check on him in the night when we hear strange things. An interesting note now that summer has arrived. There is a poster in my son's room that scrapes the wall with an amazing resemblance to teeth grinding when the ceiling fan is on. There is now a chair holding that poster to the wall due to its interrupting my sleep and scaring the __ out of me.

Thusly when my niece came and told me he was on the floor looking sick, despite the knowledge that his seizures are at night I still ran up the stairs.

Sometimes moms and dads (and grandparents and aunts/uncles) think with their heart first and not their brain. We have been seizure free since February and look forward to growing out of them in the preteen - early teen years. Then we can lose sleep worrying about something else.

* Quirky Quotes

2010-06-12T10:41:00.003-04:00

This next quote would be best seen in video but hopefully the concept will come through. The following conversation was observed between my daughter and eldest niece while we were walking through our local mega-home improvement store. They had spent the last thirty minutes declaring everything fashionable or not with phrasing such as "That is sooooo in fashion" or "That is sooooo NOT in fashion" (Please recreate those words in your head with the appropriate tone) I am reserving my thoughts on that part because I have mixed emotions about the general idea that my daughter thinks there is some merit to "fashion." Maybe I have the same thoughts but keep them in my head instead of declaring them to the shopping public at the mega store. Anyway....... After making their opinions on tile and counters and handles and wire and tools and paint color and light bulbs and whatever else they saw my niece made the following suggestion....

"Let's walk like this...Only let your toes touch the ground"

(She then demonstrated what I believe she thought fashionable people walk like... which resembled a high stepping horse-duck which had apparently stepped on a tack)

(This lasted for all of two steps.)

It seems the vision she had in her head was not easily recreated in reality because she then said...

"Maybe we should just glide."

Relationships

2010-06-08T08:50:00.004-04:00

This summer, our college group is doing a study on relationships. Instead of focusing on the classic, male - female kind, we are looking at one's relationships as a whole. In other words, we are studying the relationships that one has with friends, spouse, children, work, God, environment, etc. Basically everything. Its been eye opening for most of us when we start discussing Gods' expectations of us when it comes to our relationship with our pet dog.

Last week, I taught a class to a group of men about the concept of relationships and how we (human) were connected to pretty much everything we come in contact with while living on this planet. I used the verses Genesis 1:26 - 28 as a back drop. We are created in God's image. We are to rule over every living thing. We are to rule over the earth. We are to populate it.

I don't' want to get into an in depth discussion of what "image of God" means, but I do want to highlight one aspect. Being created in the image of God means trying to see the world the way He does. Treating people the way they deserve to be treated. Taking care of animals the way God would.

N. T. Wright has an excellent quote in "After You Believe": "Human is thus a kind of midway creature: reflecting God into the world, and reflecting the world back to God." Wow! What a concept! he goes on to say, "God placed Human in the garden to reflect His image into the new world He was making - that is, to be the means, present and visible, whereby His own care of garden and the animals would become a reality. And if human was going to do this, Human was going to have to keep in tune with God."

We all have this "feeling" when something is right or something is wrong. Where we get messed up is when we try to start justifying our actions. Murder is wrong. But what if someone is trying to kill my family? Its still wrong. This "feeling" of what is right or what is wrong in the world is "the Image of God". Things become more black and white the more in tune with God we are.

Along with the concept of image of God, the thought that we reign over the earth is amazing. God has given us the ability to rule over everything! However, that does not give us the right to mistreat animals and pollute His creation. We can not rule over something that is destroyed! Again, we must attempt to see this world the way God sees this world. We must be in tune with it, and we must be in tune with God.

How do you "get in tune" with God? How do you "see" people you come in contact with? Do you see God in them? Do you reflect God back to them? Do you view your pets as God's creation? What about those rodents? How do you see your place on this planet?

* Quirky Quotes

2010-05-27T14:55:00.003-04:00

From the backseat ...

"I am not going to have a car when I grow up"

"Why not?" asks the uninformed mother...

"People will just come and pick me up."

Apparently she should have been born a princess, or she thinks she has been, although truthfully that has been her life experience thus far. Reminder to throw up an extra prayer for the man God has in mind for my daughter...

* Pulitzers

2010-05-25T11:47:00.003-04:00

I made a list of back logged ideas months ago and I though I would get around to some. At first I thought of doing Disney with some pictures, but found the idea overwhelming so I looked for another topic. I will hereby cross off the yearbook, because it is over, we didn't lose any money, it looked great (in my opinion) and I am not doing it next year, and I don't want to talk about it anymore. I still want to do some of the others and I thought this topic might be the easiest to accomplish while lunch is cooking and my son finishes his learning time. (We are totally on schedule today for those that are interested :) )

Several months ago my best friend did a post on Pulitzers that she has read, inspired by another book loving friend that she has. They are, I believe, in direct competition, while I merely stole the idea for myself. Apparently there is a way to link to the site so you too can know how many Pulitzer prize winning books you have read. I don't know how to link but you can google it!

Thus far I have read the following books...

1919 - Booth Tarkington - The Magnificent Ambersons
1928 - Thornton Wilder - The Bridge of San Luis Rey
1932 - Pearl Buck - The Good Earth
1937 - Margaret Mitchell - Gone With the Wind
1940 - John Steinbeck - The Grapes of Wrath
1953 - Ernest Hemingway - The Old Man and the Sea
1961 - Harper Lee - To Kill a Mockingbird
1988 - Tony Morrison - Beloved(begun but never finished - hated it, but giving myself credit because it was that bad)

I have started The Age of Innocence - by Edith Wharton and it is fairly good, but then I got sick for a month, the yearbook loomed and I had to give it back to the library because I used up my three check outs. I plan to get it again next time and finish it, along with some others as I can. I was surprised how many are not in the library. Being myself I wrote out a list of the books in chronological order, 4 out of 5 were not there.

I plan to get a list of the Newberry winners as well, because they are easier to read! Although I think there are a ton more of them.

Happy reading!

* Summer Schedule

2010-05-24T12:53:00.003-04:00

While I do still want to get some back logged posts - I am taking my scrap booking approach and staying current whenever possible. We have set our summer schedule and I know you all were waiting with anticipation. It looks shockingly similar to last years, and I wonder how long it will remain on the refrigerator before the kids take to hiding it again in order to somehow avoid 'learning time' as though if lost the memory of such would fall out of my head. Our schedule for this year

9:00 Breakfast

9:30 Bible/Cleaning

10:00 Outdoor/Free Time

11:00 Learning Time

12:00 Lunch

12:30 Walk

1:00 Craft/Art/Cooking

2:00 Nap/Quiet Reading

4:00 TV/Wii/Computer

The schedule does not continue after this point because dad arrives home shortly after tv time and the evenings could go in any direction. Our odds of following this are relatively low to medium. I will testify that the younger one does not stay on target at learning time for very long and tends to distract her brother form completing his activities. Day one continues...

* Quirky Quotes

2010-05-19T16:12:00.002-04:00

My daughter likes to think she can spell. Since she is not yet in elementary school and is not a documented child prodigy, she actually has not spelled anything but her name successfully. This does not stop her from trying or from feeling proud of her efforts. She is undaunted by my statements that what she just spelled is not even a word. --- In my defense I am trying to encourage actual spelling of age appropriate words and not continue to applaud everything she does. She has letter recognition down, and some letter sounds, I need to encourage truth in learning not praise for every effort at spell-scribbling (a newly minted concept from ten seconds ago) --- Today her brother, rather than cutting her down for spelling yet another thing that didn't exist, gave her a helping hand. This is the conversation on the drive home from the library...

"C-R-N-O"......"What does that spell?"

"That is not even a word, honey" says the totally non supportive mother in the front seat.

The supportive brother replies..."Actually if you were saying the word 'crab' and someone asked you a question that you had to say 'no' to, you might say...'cr..no.'

Wrap your mind around that!

* Random mom observations...

2010-05-17T10:11:00.002-04:00

It has been yet another unbelievably long time since I posted, but life is as it is, especially during yearbook season and end of school wrap up time. I did however want to get this comparison down.

A few weeks ago I was reading with my daughter and the book had some trucks in it. On one particular page she pointed to a 'back-hoe' and asked what it was. I thought she was kidding. But apparently we have never taught her the word 'back-hoe' before, or 'bull-dozer' for that matter. She has been completely deprived of large earth moving equipment knowledge. This seemed weird because I don't think it was through intentional neglect. She is terribly girly but lives in a world surrounded by boy things. This disproves the osmosis theory.

A few days later while looking through some silly bands (which by the way is the weirdest fad I have ever seen and participated in...) My son pointed to some and asked what they were. My daughter used her best 'duh - are you stupid?' voice to say.. "a perfume bottle and that one is lipstick" Now apparently my son is lacking girly shape recognition as well.

So I have come to the conclusion that I am subconsciously raising stereotypes. However I believe there is hope, because I clearly recognized the lipstick silly band, as well as know the difference between a back-hoe and bull-dozer. Judah can change spark plugs and we are working on his ponytail skills. (For being the gender that is supposed to be good with their hands boys have great struggles with little girl ponytails.)

These are the thoughts that flow through my mind...

Views on Capitalism, Again

2010-05-05T11:51:00.005-04:00

Recently, the big wigs at Goldman Sachs were brought before Congress to explain their role in what appears to be questionable practices in hedge fund management. There was a lot of swearing by congressman, accusations of breaking the law, vehement monologues that nothing Goldman did was illegal, and in short, nothing was actually accomplished. All can agree that what Goldman Sachs actually did was immoral, but not necessarily illegal. Also recently, Obama actually made the statement, “I do think at a certain point you’ve made enough money.” Unfortunately, the fact that he made this statement is not surprising. But there is something in these two topics that I believe need discussing. That topic is the concept of capitalism and the MORAL responsibility to those that "have enough."

What is “enough”? Who “has enough”? Can you honestly say that if someone makes $_________ per year that that is enough money? The answer is no. Most everyone will say, "it depends on a number of factors such as, location, standard of living, debt to income ratio, dependents, etc." There is no absolute number that will fit all people. Now, I can say that recently Michelle and I had the conversation of “where did it all go this month?” Granted, we were able to identify where the money went, but it got me thinking again: “what is enough?” Truth is, I don’t have a very good answer. I find myself thinking that I don’t have enough on a not too frequent basis. I have to remind myself that there is a significant majority who don’t even have a home on this planet.

Historically, as people gain more and more money, they strive to spend more, give more, and save more. This is the beauty of our society, and this concept helps it to thrive. In short, as I am paid more, I will spend more and give more. Those who I give to spend more as well. This spending and giving improves the economy. As the economy improves, I make more money, thus spending and giving more. It’s a beautiful circle….

Our commander and chief would have us believe that he knows what the finite amount is that someone can earn. But do we really want to live in a culture that actually has a ceiling on financial growth? My answer is no. Unfortunately, the Goldman Sachs fiasco has led people to believe that our free market can (or at least should) have laws attached to it that force people to do the moral thing. This is not true. No amount of laws will force people to ALWAYS do the moral thing. Restricting someone's income, for any reason, will only force them to focus more on themselves, than on others.

If someone has a lot of money, they should give a lot of money to those in need. We all know this to be the case, because it is the moral thing to do. We all have a moral compass built inside of us. There should not be laws in place to force people to do the right thing with money. That‘s my problem with Obama’s statement and congress wasting tax payer money trying beat up executives taking advantage of rules already set forth in the financial arena. Because here is the question: “how much money do I give?” Would I really give enough if I am forced to give?

We want billionaires to give away as much as possible. We don’t want entrepreneurs to be limited to a certain value. That defeats the purpose. What we want is for billionaires to recognize that the money actually isn’t theirs in the first place. Its God’s. He wants you to do wonderful things with it! So, instead putting laws in place to restrict growth, let’s start encouraging those with more to give more. How do we do that?

Ask

2010-04-20T15:50:00.003-04:00

A couple of weeks ago I taught a class at church on relationships. It centered on the scripture from Matthew 7:7 – 11, “Ask, Seek, and Knock.” Those who are raised in church, or even attend church regularly, will hopefully see this passage as familiar. We instinctively go to the thought of something like, “if I ask God for it, He will give it. If I am TRULY sincere in my request, and CONTINUALLY ask, He will provide it.” However, recently I heard a different take on this passage. That’s what the class about.

My problem with saying this passage is JUST about “ask God for it, and he will give it” is that it makes God out to be some type of spiritual vending machine. I guess another way of putting it, is it makes Him out to be nothing more than a “facilitator for our narcissistic desires” (I wish I could take the credit for that phrase, but alas, I can’t! Thanks Rob Bell for that description....). Because the truth is, what happens to us when God DOESN’T answer our prayers the way we want Him to? At the most, we try to convince ourselves that He knows what is best (because He does), and we try move on with our lives. At the worst, we say that there is no God, because He didn’t answer our prayers….

I think that there is something else we can get out of this passage. I think in some ways, Jesus is saying this is how we should be with each other. We should “ask” for help. We should “seek” each others’ friendships. We should “knock” for opportunities to be with each other. Look, this isn’t blasphemy or “misinterpreting the bible”, so don’t even go there. I really think that there is something to comparing this passage to how we are to interact with each other. Let me clarify:

I think one has to look at chapter 6 and 7 almost in the same breath. Take a look at Chapter 6 out of Matthew. It’s about entrusting our lives to God. Specifically, vs. 25 – do not worry about your life…. By the end of chapter 6, Jesus is trying to show how much of a waste it is to worry. Just look at how many calories you burn worrying about trivial things that you have no control over in the first place! It is such a waste of energy! When you put all of your life (what you eat, what you will wear, how long you will live, etc.) before God, you become a non-anxious presence with yourself. You have entrusted yourself to God.

Now, take a look at chapter 7. It’s about our relationship with others. “Don’t judge, lest you be judged.” When we are NOT a calm presence in peoples’ lives we are trying to control them. In this way, we see people for their value in what they can do for us. We shouldn’t control people. We shouldn’t judge. We shouldn’t condemn. We shouldn’t look at the spec in the other person’s eye. These are how we control others through negative means. In the same way, we shouldn’t manipulate others. Throwing something valuable (pearl) to someone who can not appreciate it, is only one way we control people (give gifts to those to change their habits). This is done through “positive means”. Pushing gifts on people CAN be a form of controlling others. We get what we want by controlling people through negative things (judging and condemning) and positive things (gifts and sacred things).

So, if I am reading these passages together, and God is trying to teach me how to have a relationship with Him (chapter 6), and He is also teaching me how to have a relationship with others (chapter 7), it seems it would be obvious that the next train of thought would be how to do these things. If I turn EVERYTHING over to God, how do I interact with Him? If I no longer want to control or manipulate people, what would be a healthy way to interact with them? Could it be to ask? Seek? Knock?

Let’s look at the “relationship with others” part. When we ask, we are honoring the free will of the other person. We respect them. We are not coercing them (throwing pearls). It’s not manipulation, because they can always say NO. Having the right to say “no” is key.
Here is an example. You are at home. It’s the middle of the night. Your spouse starts having chest pains. They are so bad; you know you should take them to the emergency room. But what do you do with your kids? Do you call someone? Do you take them with you? And if you do call, who do you call and what do you say? Those you are most close to will be the first you think of. You HOPE you won’t “bother them” by waking them at 4 in the morning. You also “trust them” with your children as you go to take care of your spouse. And if you are like me, you almost inadvertently say something like, “sorry to bother you so late, but….”

Now, let’s say you don’t call. Let’s say you decide to NOT “bother them”. You take the kids to the emergency room, and they sit (sleep) in the waiting room. Turns out, after the tests, your spouse is ok. You and your family go home and start your day. You get to the office, go for a cup of coffee, meet your buddy and begin telling your story from the previous night. What do you think the first thing out of his mouth is going be? “Dude, you could have called me.” And don’t we think that? “If he had gone to the emergency room with his wife, he could have called me. Why did he think he couldn’t call me? We are bros!” And if we are honest with ourselves, there would be a part of us that is actually hurt when we find out they didn’t ask us, even if it is at 4 in the morning.

Our problem is independence. Our culture in America today dictates that if we are not on a path that leads to independence as soon as possible, then there is something wrong with us. We can pick it out of conversation that we have with each other:

“Sorry to bother you. Sorry for calling so late. I hate to ask this of you….”
If we take these phrases apart, could we not respond to a close friend like, “So, I guess what I am hearing is, our friendship is such that you actually feel sorrow in the core of your body when you ask me to do something? That is the existent of our relationship? Asking me for help hurts you that badly?” Is this what friendship is really about? Asking someone for help strengthens a relationship. Doing it without the tag lines (“I’m sorry to….) makes it even stronger. And one more thing: we shouldn’t feel obligated to pay them back when they actually do help us! We should feel comfortable asking for help, and they should feel like they are not owed anything. Think about it: when you help a friend in need, do you continually bring it back up, subconsciously expecting some type of payment? So why feel obligated to pay them back? I’m not saying you don’t do good things for your friend. I am just saying we shouldn’t feel obligated to do something good, because they did something good for us. That sounds like a blog for another day....

Jesus definitely gets a little confusing about what relationship He is referring to in this passage. If you look at the rest of the verses, Jesus tells a parable in verses 9 and 10 about fathers and their children. He then is rather clear in vs. 11 about our relationship with God. But then he ends the passage in vs. 12 about dealing with others. All I am saying is, I don’t believe the “ask, seek, and knock”, is JUST about dealing with God. It’s also about dealing with each other as well.

This isn’t the only passage where the lines between our relationships with each other are also blurred with our relationship with God. Just look at Matthew 6: 14 and 15, Matthew 22:37 – 40, or James 3:10. These are just a few of the passage that show how we interact with each other reflects our relationship with God. It is IMPOSSIBLE to praise God and slander someone else. It can’t be done. I mean, we might physical sing praises to God, and then cuss the guy who cut us off as we were going to Sunday lunch. But in our hearts, these actions cannot be done. When we worship God, we gain a respect for other people. How we deal with others helps us to deal with God. The way we interact with each other is deeply reflective of how we interact with God. And, how we understand God is transformed into our relationships with others.

So, we need to learn how to ask. It will make the relationship stronger.

* Slacker

2010-03-28T20:47:00.004-04:00

I am a procrastinator - most of you know this. Those who do not have clearly been hallucinating. I have gone quite a long time without posting and I truly kept meaning to, not because you are desperate for my words, but because I do find them entertaining myself, and as most of you also know 'it is all about me' anyway :)! I have had some great ideas for posts - at least in my opinion, and I would like to get to them, but not today... However I will be making a list of those things I want to talk about so I can remember them for when I get around to it. I am not sure it will get to 10 but you never know.

I am reading a book by Heschel that is lovely and I want to share some quotes. It is occasionally mentally thick and I feel like I am wading up stream trying to read it, then other times the sun breaks through the clouds and it is just awesome. (Two completely different metaphors, but that is the quality of my writing today)
I finished some other books in the faith based genre that I would also like to comment on, even if Judah has already commented. As the one who actually read the book I feel I am allowed my own thoughts :)
My best friend metaphorically challenged me to read more Pulitzer prize winning books than her and this has inspired some other reading. I am mentally preparing myself to lose since she is the English major and has a greater tolerance for literature than myself - at least this is what I am telling myself so I won't wallow in despair when I can't keep up.
My son has led us down a fun medical road in the last few months, but I can breathe easier now with the last mailed test result - normal MRI, no pathology, just childhood epilepsy- an unexpected praise.
I am on the yearbook committee AGAIN - and my deadlines are looming - blgh.
I am not in Ghana this year and planning a more normal spring break with my kids, off to grandmas!
A trip to Disney should get some comments, but fell in the middle of David's tests and I never got around to that either.
My daughter got her first stitches and we spent a lovely evening in the ER.
We are still thinking of selling our house and it has raised some interesting questions about what to buy next if that happens, bigger or smaller?
I am not sure of a tenth, but it was just SO CLOSE I couldn't help myself..... :)

I will leave you with this overheard dialogue from this afternoon...

My daughter prances into my son's room, where he is having a battle and asks-

Are you the King?

No.

Are you the knight?

No.

What are you?

I am not going to tell you.

Are you the (pause for struggle to find another word) ................... guard?

No.

What are you?

I am not going to tell you.

Are you the (insert longer pause to find another word)................. fighter?

No.

What are you?

I am NOT going to TELL you.

Are you the 'I'm not gonna tell you'?

NO!

Alright had that been the end it would have been funny enough to me. Her struggle to find boyish words and his irritation and finally her resort to early sarcasm was hilarious, but apparently the moment was so moving as to inspire song because then she broke into an impromptu solo...

He's not the king, he's not the prince, he's not the guard, he's not the fighterrrrrrrrrrrrr. He's not going to TELLLLLLLLLLLL!

I can only imagine her twirling around his battle for a bit with her song then losing interest because she left shortly after. I am glad that I did not watch the interchange because it was funnier in my head.

How can I not blog those jewels daily? I am such a slacker.

What Could be

2010-03-19T10:07:00.002-04:00

Recently Michelle finished a book by Frank Viola. I’ll be honest: I probably agree with about half of what he writes about. He comes across very emphatic about a lot of his beliefs. This bluntness rubs me the wrong way. It’s almost like, “if you don’t believe what I believe then you are wrong.” Kind of like how I am at times. Oh, wait a minute…. I am sure he is a decent guy, and if I knew him personally, would probably think completely differently. It’s really hard to get your views down on paper and then have them come out exactly how you expect them to. I should know: I am constantly pulling my foot out of my mouth…. I am almost certain that I am going to get a talking to from my ministry buddies after they read this blog.

Anyway, back to the stuff I actually agree with that Viola wrote in the book that Michelle was reading. He made a comment that he believed that ministry leaders (pastors, preachers, children’s ministry leaders, college ministers, etc.) should NOT be paid full-time by their local congregation. He made some very impressive arguments some of which included: 1) where is the book chapter and verse in the bible for full time staff? 2) Think of the money that could be directed to missions, benevolence, etc. 3) tends to stifle the Holy Spirit in other members because they (the members) subconsciously look to the “leader of the church” (full paid staff) for guidance, along with a few more.

However, this blog is about a specific reason for not having full paid staff. You see, Michelle and I have been running into a particular issue for years now. It didn’t matter what church we attended, because I am almost certain that it is universal. What I am talking about is the concept of “what could be”. I have heard numerous conversations about “what the church could be”, if we _____________, and we (members) do tend to look toward the full time staff to fill in the blank. Unfortunately, full time ministers tend to NOT be as blunt about the direction, focus, vision, whatever you want to call it, with their ministry and/or congregation. Full time ministers, in general, can feel they need to make sure everyone is happy, for the sake of their job. They know what needs to be done. They are fully aware of the personalities and dynamics within their own congregation. They understand how the Holy Spirit works in their particular congregation. Unfortunately, they can be resistant, because if an idea is too “out there”, then they could very well lose their job. This is an unfortunate situation.

I am almost certain that in every congregation Michelle and I have been a part of, there was at least one minister that was an “out of the box” thinker around the coffee table, but could revert to safer waters when they spoke in public. And seriously, do you blame them?! If one’s job was HIGHLY dependent on what you said on a weekly basis, do you blame them?

It absolutely amazes me how many conversations I have had about “vision casting”, “what the church should be”, “where the focus of our money and time should be”, and a host of many others. I would be a part of these conversations, get really excited thinking that our church leadership was going to give a clear and concise direction on ministries, funding, growth opportunities, outreach, how accountability was going to work, etc. only to be gravely disappointed to hear yet another budgetary summary coupled with why we are not meeting budget, yet again. Or maybe it would be an anticipated sermon about the “direction of the church” and how members were going to be empowered, only to be met with a mundane, scripted discussion of how the church body just “needs to get out there” and show Jesus.

For centuries, mankind has followed great leaders who were able to vision cast their beliefs in a way that created followers. More often than not, these leaders were not afraid of the opinions of their followers. It amazes the amount of talent that is in church leadership these days. God is good, all the time! All around the country, there are men and women in leadership roles that are gifted by God to direct local congregations to spread the Good News in the unique ways that their particular congregation is designed for. But, we need leaders who are not afraid of the status quo. We need leaders who understand what changes need to be made in order to reach believers in the 21^st century. We need leaders who are able to express their passion for a ministry in a way that makes others beg to follow them. We need leaders filled with the Holy Spirit and can see that we are filled with the Holy Spirit as well. In my opinion, the MAIN way of doing these things, is to remove the barrier that so many ministers stand behind. Free them from their salaries, stop paying them full time, and start helping them get part time to full time jobs so that they can be released from thinking they have to say and do things to please everyone in a congregation. With that freedom, I truly believe we would see a growth in the church like what we see in the book of Acts. We need leaders, but more importantly, we need leaders who are not afraid to step on toes, hold people accountable, and blaze a trail with the Holy Spirit.

Giving talks

2010-03-09T10:25:00.000-05:00

I recently did a talk on “Defining Moments”. This was done as part of our Men’s Gathering Series at Farragut Church of Christ. After the weekend, I asked the men for a critique, and what they got out of the weekend. Below, is a collection of thoughts from them.

- Obviously you are sincere about your faith and you attempt to walk it each day – that is the most important element that gives you credibility.
- I liked the props and your use of them in the “backpack” session. Many of us could identify with your points. I also liked the personal examples and self-effacing approach.
- I prefer a limited use of PowerPoint presentations and, when possible, use images on them instead of words.
- I had trouble connecting all of the sessions with the theme. It may have been obvious to others, but it would have helped me if you had consistently reminded us of the theme of the gathering and how each talk addressed the theme (you may have done this and I missed it due to my state of mind)
- I would have preferred shorter lectures and more discussion. To illustrate, I liked your golf ball lesson. It seemed to take on even greater richness when people made observations about what they saw (like the observation about how the turbulent water became calm once God’s Spirit completely filled the voids in our life – Wow). Someone else observed how the sand changed in quality (color) as God’s Spirit filled the voids.
- I don’t know if was possible in this setting to circle the seats and create a discussion “pit.” There probably was not space for that, but that is also my preference.
- You quickly engaged the audience by putting up the Twitter visuals. They were funny and entertaining.
- The hiking and camping equipment and personal story drove home the points using objects you pulled from the back pack.
- You shared a part of you that others never knew; this helped give credence to your story making it more applicable to our lives as well.
- The audio/visuals kept the audience focused up front.

- What I got out of the lesson:
a. God has a plan for me, for you, and all men at the gathering.
b. My plans are immaterial to God’s plan.
c. God’s plan will prevail no matter how much interference I run.
d. There are definitely going to be some setbacks in my life.
e. Our relationships with friends and family will get us through the rough spots.
f. I have marker stones in my life, and how I view those stones determines the future course of my life.
- What I liked:
a. You allowed the audience to speak up during the presentation.
b. You made it fun!
c. There was lots of true laughter and fellowship (not the kind of “forced” laughs that most presentations elicit).
d. You hit on some tough topics that all men in the room could relate to.
e. You were well prepared, which meant that if questions or comments came up, you could respond to them, then return right back to where you were without appearing to be lost or confused.

- Don’t read your power point slides.
- Put less on your power point slides.

My (Judah's) take away
- Remember the Holy Spirit is in charge.
- Use humor
- Provide time for comment, and talk in a way that lets the audience know they can ask questions/provide comments during the presentation.
- Use different styles of teaching. For example, the first talk was more lecture, but it had humor, power point, and props. In short, I pulled out all the stops! Also, we had a talk right after lunch on Saturday. This period is a good time for naps, so to keep everyone awake I had some guys stand up and act out a passage in the bible. This seemed to really keep people in engaged.
- Its important to continually emphasize what the series is about. This is where I dropped the ball. The discussion was around Defining Moments in a Man’s Life, and we used the concept of “memory stones” from different passages of the bible to help reinforce this thought. I did this at the beginning of the first talk, but only highlighted it afterwards. Different men mentioned the concept as well, but we didn’t do a good job of tying the two together.
- Remember the Holy Spirit is in charge.

Dude, you got something on your forehead

2010-02-18T09:43:00.002-05:00

Yesterday, I visited my buddy’s office. He has some coworkers that are also acquaintances of mine. I don’t see these guys that often, but when I do it’s generally a nonchalant “how’s it going? How are the wife and kids? What’s new in the job?” There is also the preverbal handshake for good measure. We are all good red blooded American men, who think conservatively, love women (our own wives), proud of our children, love our country, thankful to God for our jobs, and recognize that He is in control, not us.

Anyway, I was slightly distracted yesterday, as I am preparing a talk for next weekend. I was at my buddy’s office to get some ideas, suggestions, opinions, etc. about what I was speaking on. Well, one of his coworkers (acquaintance) turns around, with a genuine expression of “glad to see you” on it. He holds his hand out for the preverbal hand shake, and I say, “dude, you got something on your forehead.” His response? “Ash Wednesday,” in an expression that he has probably said it that way quite frequently throughout the day. It seems his ash cross may have turned into a smudge. Very unfortunate. My response went something like, “my bad. That’s pretty cool. Ash Wednesday? Really?” I look at the nearest desk calendar in a manner that would make someone think I (the Protestant) was trying to prove him (the Catholic) wrong. “well, yes. I guess you are right…..”

And that little conversation reminded me that Michelle and I usually give up something for Lent. I am going to go on and admit that I am not real happy about the concept of giving something up for Lent. Most of the reason has to do with my upbringing of not celebrating any religious holiday, let alone performing any kind of religious ritual. I won’t go in to how absolutely ridiculous that last sentence sounds, as I do a lot of things ritualistic presently, as well as, celebrate the religious holidays for what they are. I also won’t bring up the idea that I like my routines, and giving them up is very uncomfortable for me. But the truth is, she and I have always been changed after the 40 days. It’s really kind of strange….

Michelle and I have given up everything from computer games, to cable TV. We gave up eating out all together one year. However, we did have a loop hole: If someone asked us to eat we would go. We didn’t want to make them “uncomfortable” with our sacrifice. I gave up coffee one year. Since I had started drinking coffee a few months back, it wasn’t that big of a sacrifice. I recall giving up Fox News a couple of years ago, but since I spent the majority of lent in China, and China doesn’t have Fox News, I probably wouldn’t consider that one a big sacrifice either. There was one time I gave up sweet tea. If you are not from the south, you probably won’t understand. If you haven’t had Michelle’s sweet, you definitely don’t get it.

I did some research on what others have given up for Lent. I thought I might share.
1) Alcohol – no brainer
2) Smoking – ditto
3) Soft drinks – that’s cool
4) TV – whoopee….
5) Meat – that could be painful
6) Chocolate – ok, I can see that
7) Sex – Now hold on! Let’s talk about this….
8) The internet – that‘s interesting.
9) Make-up – huh?
10) Shopping – that’s a good one

Some others I found included: stress, gossip, road rage, “the rat race”, dealing with “the man”, fear, sarcasm, etc. A good friend of mine said he was going to give up sobriety. I want to say he was joking, but the more I think about it, I am not really sure… ;) I also found where some were adding things for Lent. Some of these include: exercising, stretching in the morning, sending positive text messages on purpose, reading the bible each day, working in a soup kitchen, etc. I have to admit; I am impressed with the creativity that some have about sacrifice.

You see the purpose of giving something up (or adding something) for Lent is to experience a little bit of the pain and agony that Jesus suffered while dying on the cross. I like the idea, but I have a hard time getting over the concept that me giving up “solitaire” on the computer even comes close to Jesus bleeding on a cross. I mean, come on: do we really think we can compare to Jesus’ agony by giving up a cup of coffee? The irony is I think our little sacrifice can make a difference. For each of us its different, but giving things up, or adding things to our lives on purpose helps us to focus on why we are doing that particular thing. For that period of time our schedule changes. We are uncomfortable with what is going on in what is usually our normal routines. And for many of us, that little change is all we need to have that “I am going to change my life for the better” moment.

For Michelle and I we notice that we talk more. We play with our kids more. We read our bible more. We pray together more. Granted, initially we are trying to just fill time that is usually being filled by what we have given up. But inevitably, our normal routines have changed to more quality time. We generally, do “something” more that is productive and adds a positive experience to our life. So, as much as I am disgruntled about Lent, that is why I continue to do it. If you practice Lent, what are some things that you give up, and why?

Being Normal?

2010-02-08T14:31:00.004-05:00

I am in the middle of a book entitled: “The Black Swan: The Impact of the Highly Improbable”, by Nassim Nicholas Taleb. This is a fascinating book that you should be able to find in the business section of your local bookstore. Although it is a finance and investment book, to me, it has more to do with how our mind tries to find pattern and “normalcy” in a world that is all but not. The author tries to help the reader come to grips with this realization.

Chris Anderson, editor-in-chief of Wired magazine does an excellent job in summarizing the book:

“Our brains are wired for narrative, not statistical uncertainty. And so we tell ourselves simple stories to explain complex thing we don't--and, most importantly, can't--know. The truth is that we have no idea why stock markets go up or down on any given day, and whatever reason we give is sure to be grossly simplified, if not flat out wrong….

The problem… is that we place too much weight on the odds that past events will repeat (diligently trying to follow the path of the "millionaire next door," when unrepeatable chance is a better explanation). Instead, the really important events are rare and unpredictable….

Nassim argues that most of the really big events in our world are rare and unpredictable, and thus trying to extract generalizable stories to explain them may be emotionally satisfying, but it's practically useless. September 11th is one such example, and stock market crashes are another. Or, as he puts it, 'History does not crawl, it jumps.'"

Think about this for a moment. Although we see advertisements like, “Why be normal?”, or even some of the sports commercials about being an individual (not with the crowd), subconsciously our society continually tells us to fit into the “Bell Curve” (i.e. strive for normalcy). Even us parents want our kids to “stand out”, but not too much, or their personalities or achievements will bring undue attention on them. Think of children who are extremely gifted with intelligence, art, music, or athletic ability. Whether you agree with me or not, our western culture encourages normalcy. The reason? We can predict normalcy. We can draw predictions from it.

The problem with this concept (if it is true :)) is that it isn’t life. We don’t remember or even perseverate on the normal aspects of our life. We focus, and go back to those moments that are etched, or even gashed into our brains. They are moments in our past that we go back to for reflection, to help us define who we are in the present, moments we cannot get out of our head because they are so painful, and moments that seem so “unlikely” that we try in every way we know how to explain them, but to this day still cannot resolve.

Maybe a personal example can help. Last week, our family spent a few days in Orlando, celebrating my little girls 5th birthday. On one particular day, she dressed as a princess, with tiara and wand, and got to eat with other princesses from Disney World for lunch. It had to be one of the most girly things you can imagine. She absolutely loved it. My son loathed it. He was a good sport and participated, but he was definitely counting down the minutes when we could hit the roller coasters. My little girl soaked it all in, being the little princess that she was.

However, if you had seen her a couple of days before, you would have seen her in the same dress, tiara, and wand riding the GM Test Track at Epcot, laughing and screaming as loud as she could! People in line with us were amazed that such “a princess” would want (beg is the better word) to get on a ride that reached speeds of 70 mph! There was one point where we come off of the “Snow White Ride” (a very slow, tame ride) and she looks at me and says, “daddy, can we go to Thunder Mountain now?”(Thunder Mountain is the fastest roller coaster at Walt Disney World that she was allowed to ride due to height restrictions.) How can I say no to request like that?

The problem with these people that were confused is that they have an idea of what a princess should look like. They have hard time accepting that a cute little girl in a princess dress would actually love riding roller coasters! In other words, my little girl is a “Black Swan” in their version of reality. They would have no problem seeing her with her grandma, playing with her dolls, and waiting on her brother and daddy to get off of the roller coaster ride. That makes sense. To them, that is normal.

But we won’t remember those moments of normalcy. We will, however, remember those moments that are outliers. They are the moments that don’t make any sense. They may not make any sense, but they do make who we are today.

I am certain that there are some people right now telling a story to their friends about these parents that “dragged their children” onto a ride that was not suitable for them (children). They are probably saying something like, “you should have seen that little princess! She had no business at all being on that ride! Those parents have no idea how to raise that little girl! They are only doing things for themselves (parents)!” Oh, how wrong they are, for I have a little girl who is dainty, loves pink, twirls when she walks across a room, but can drop kick like no other 5 year old I know, begs her daddy to wrestle every day, and loves going as fast as possible, even if she is wearing her princess dress!

Thank God for outliers.

Another blog post about Haiti

2010-01-26T08:55:00.004-05:00

Man, the blogosphere is littered with blogs about Haiti recently, and with good reason. This is a country that has been absolutely decimated by a natural disaster. I'll be honest, as soon as I heard about the terrible situation, saw the footage of mass graves, read the reports of orphans coming to the US for adoption, and the stories of looters getting killed by those just trying to protect what little they have, I to felt compelled to get on a plane and go down to help. Interestingly, me going at this time is just not practical. I do not have the skills to treat someone with even the simplest of injuries. I have never been to Haiti, so don't really know what to expect. But I still want to help......

What I can do is give to organizations like the Red Cross, One Vision International, Samaritans purse, and a slew of many others. These organizations have the ability, equipment, and personnel to get things done much more efficiently than I would. Let me just say that probably the most ingenious way of raising money is the one by the Red Cross, with text Haiti to 90999 campaign. This is a very quick and easy way to donate $10 to a really good cause. Also, I am quite certain that me going down would somehow hamper search and rescue efforts. The last thing that these organizations need is to have to stop what they are presently doing to rescue people getting themselves into trouble with very good intentions.

I ate dinner with a good friend of mine last week, who is a family physician. He is actually in Haiti right now with a group that is sponsored by One Vision International. In his own words, he told me how he had to turn the news off, because it was "killing him that he wasn't doing anything." He likened it to driving past a car wreck on the interstate, and just slowing down and looking. It was eating him alive inside. When he initially contacted the group that he is with, the airport in Porte Prince was stilled closed. The group was actually considering dropping the doctors by parachute into Haiti! Think about that a minute: There are international groups that were trying so hard to get help to Haiti that they were looking at parachuting in doctors there. I think that says a lot for the compassion, ingenuity, and resources that these groups have. Fortunately, the airports began to open in the country as well as in the Dominican Republic.

I guess my point in all this is that we should do our part where we can make the most impact. I can give some money presently to organizations that have the resources to use the money appropriately. My friend can go to Haiti now, because he has the skills and training to help those that are hurting. Don't get me wrong: I truly feel I will be in Haiti in the future. There will come a time when the rebuilding phase of Haiti will come. When that time comes, I am almost certain that I will go down to help out where I can.

* Praises

2010-01-06T10:08:00.003-05:00

I also wanted to do a list that focused on praises for the year, although I am not going to force a perfect ten, just see what I get...

My dad has prancreatitis - a strange praise, I know, but considering for a few months we thought it was cancer and I was quite thankful for the alternative diagnosis. I was thankful that Christmas with my family was much like the years before rather than the one I had visualized when we thought our time was short.
Judah got a new job - although mentioned in the summary list, it belongs here as well. Having dad at home is a great blessing.
My niece is no longer allergic to eggs - although told she could grow out of it when first discovered, the allergy caused some added stress to my sister that I am thankful no longer exists. Although when I learned how they test for being completely 'cured' I was a bit surprised. (Apparently the final test was to feed her some eggs in the doctors office and then stare at her and wait for her to blow up like a balloon and stop breathing - what does that test look like on a medical bill? $0.99 for eggs, $299 for professional watching services?)
My step-father had successful neck surgery that greatly reduced some pain he had. immediate relief does not always come and I am thankful he had a season with less pain.
Another year of visits with my grandmother. Although some of her health issues make visits more challenging I am thankful for the time. I am thankful for the pictures at Thanksgiving with all her grandchildren and great grandchildren. Grandparents are the icing on the cake of life.
I am thankful for the relative good health and well being of my children and husband. Other than common illnesses we have had a relatively uneventful year. Judah's father had fairly serious kidney issues and Judah was tested for that particular birth defect in December, thankfully showing no defect. But he was told to drink less coffee and more water (that last part would probably not register as a praise on his list).

Not bad for one year. God is good-all the time.

* So Long to 2009

2010-01-06T09:04:00.003-05:00

Today I am finding this blog fairly entertaining because I can now look back at this time last year and be reminded of those moments in time, and simultaneously proud that I am getting my year in review post done three weeks earlier this year :) Next year when I am running behind again I will not like the blog so much because it will remind me that I am behind. But that will be the 2011 Michelle's problem.

Before my list a quick comment on the college dinner last night. For some reason we put off taking down the Christmas decorations until yesterday when it occurred to us that all the college kids would not fit in our dining room with the tree up. So as the kids arrived they were greeted with the task of putting away decorations in order to have space to eat. They may not have taken to the task so well had they not realized that in order to get food they had to clean up. I did not put any of my ornaments away, since I was in the kitchen. Several times I peeked in the dining room to see several young adults standing around a table trying to find the ornament to their hallmark box. Best quote from a somewhat frustrated ornament hunter" 'My Second Christmas' where are you?!?" What a box of memories I will have next year when none of my stuff is where I would have put it, but that is a problem for the December 2010 Michelle. On to the list...

Judah got a new job that does not require him to travel to China and simultaneously did not require us to move. So half way into 2009 we said so long to China. He still made enough trips in the first half of the year to miss a lot of ballgames. I am looking forward to more equally sharing baseball practices with him this year.
In response to Judah's new job, and our realization that we may be here in Knoxville for quite some time, we decided to put our house up for sale. Much has been boxed up and moved out. We have redone the floors in the downstairs and the ceiling downstairs has been painted. Since we had already painted every wall, the house is fairly nice looking if I do say so myself. Unfortunately this realization came in the fall, after the normal selling season. We have more hope for the upcoming spring. Maybe next year's list will include the sale and purchase of another new home.
Our son played a lot of baseball this year. Spring ball , followed by the ALL STAR team, of which he was very proud. ( I admit that I had mixed feelings, due to the honor of making the team required more practice and a few games) We apparently enjoyed that season so much we signed up for fall ball. This is where we learned that in fall ball they don't keep score and no one wins. That was a strange season. This year we move up in age bracket and the rules change a bit so I am interested to see how much we will like it.
I began teaching a 'gymnastics' class at the preschool in our church building. This has made Tuesdays quite different in our home. The kids at the preschool are adorable and I get to use my gross motor development skills. The bonus is that my daughter gets to sit in a class on that day. She LOVES her class and her teachers, who are really amazing in my opinion. They call the bathroom the 'loo' and everyone sits on their 'coolio' in circle time. Sounds unusual at times but is perfect for keeping the attention of four year olds.
Academically our son is now reading long chapter books and is quite taken with reading. Awesome! (He is reading the magic tree house books and had finished the first 14, he will only read them in order, whose son is that? :) )Our daughter is able to recognize all her letters and is working on sounds and writing now. As a quasi-home-schooler I am proud of their learning. It makes me feel like I am not slacking.
I returned to Africa for the second year and felt much more prepared for the children I went to see and work with. I was able to spend a portion of everyday with them and continue to be amazed at God's love for His creation and the people in His kingdom around the world. I have already told myself that I will be taking this year off, so my son will see his mother on his spring break every now and then.
With several other families in our church we began a change in our children's ministry. Judah and I host the Sunday morning time called 'KidZone' where parents and children come together to learn more about God's word. We have talked more about this on the blog so I won't go into detail. I can see how much more of the lessons my children retain and apply in their lives. Overall it has been awesome. We will be finishing our first year in just a few weeks and looking forward to another.
Around the same time that we began a change in our children's ministry Judah was also named the 'college minster.' I am so proud of the college students in our group. Long ago we started with a core group (founding members according to some) of six students. Now through another graduating class and several friends we have a group of sixteen. God is moving in their lives and it is an honor to be a part of it.
As a result of the college ministry we began some consistent acts of service in partnership with an urban church. It is good for our young adults to see how they are needed in the 'big picture.' It has also been a great way to teach our own children, small though they are, that the world extends outside their home and that God wants us to show love and service to others. And it is pretty good for me too. We come home on those days and I know I did not waste my time. How many other days do I feel like I squandered God's gift of time- more than I want to think about.
As always there are a ton of other things that happen during the year that really make up life such as texting, Thursdays, bookclubs, keeping my nieces for a week over the summer (see appropriate post), scrapbooking (although not as much this year), family visits and a trip to the beach with everyone, friends (even those in Arkansas not mentioned in the last years post but remembered for this one), my son riding his bike in the street (So Big!), college and senior dinners, grandma's house (and pool), two turtles (who sadly are no longer with us), and on and on and on ...

2010 looks to be starting off alright, although terribly cold. Cold without any good snow, wasted temperature in my opinion. If it is going to be less than 32 for several days we should get some flakes that stick. We will probably get moisture a day after the temperature rises to 45.

Wishing you all a blessed year, can't wait to compare this years list to next...

Gifts

2009-12-31T12:28:00.003-05:00

Growing up, I didn't celebrate Christmas. Well, we did have gifts. Our parents did a good job of making sure we were not left out when all our friends were getting stuff this time of year. I loved opening presents. Over the years, my brother and sister would kid me that the gift wouldn't matter, as long as I opened a lot of presents. It was so bad, that one year my parents got me a drum set, and they wrapped each drum, cymbal, stand, stick, etc. separately. It was actually pretty cool. Frustrating but cool.

This year was different for me and our family, including our extended family. We got our kids considerably less, and requested considerably less. And you know what? It was awseome. Our children were not asking, "do I have another?" Don't get me wrong. It was hard for the grandparents, but they did it anyway. The kids were just fine.

Gifts are an interesting thing. Why do we give gifts? I know we say we give so that we can make someone happy, but then if they don't respond appropriately when they open it, don't we feel disappointed? I mean, I spent so much time, energy, and money on that gift! It is THE gift for them. Why are they not more excited??? Why do we feel disappointed when they don't react the way WE want them to react?

My wife does an excellent job of giving gifts. I think its her "gift". She has this ability to give me a gift that I am not expecting, that is absolutely perfect for the present time. I am not really sure how she does it. Me on the other hand, I am terrible at giving gifts. That's the reason why you should never tell me "thank you" for a gift that the Wilkins family gave you. More than likely, Michelle was the one who picked it out. I'm just saying....

One of our cousins was asking me what I wanted for Christmas over Thanksgiving. I had to think about it. Finally, I said, "you know, a book is always good thing." And this is a true statement. But let's think about this a little bit further: I had to "THINK" about what I wanted someone to get me. I really struggled with this. I mean, I have a good job. If there is something I want, I usually go buy it. I sometimes come home with a surprise for the kids or the wife for no apparent reason. I usually don't save up my wishes for Christmas, create a list, and then hand it out. I guess that is the reason why some say that I am rather "hard to buy for."

But let's dig even further, because that is where I stayed for a few days. After the conversation with my cousin, I couldn't stop thinking about the concept of buying gifts. The reason for this is there are millions, if not billions of people who just don't have anything. Nothing. Zip. And it was that thought that kept popping in my head. It wouldn't go away. Well, it turns out there are a litany of charity organizations that are begging for people to help out. Compassion International is one of these groups that allows you to sponsor a child for just a few dollars a month. Hope International is another that provides micro loans to self employed people in 3rd world countries. Michelle and I presented the concept of micro finance loans to our college group, and they raised $100 dollars that we gave as a group to this charity. They were so excited! And don't miss the importance in this: 100 dollars is a lot of money for a group of college kids! But they saw a situation where they could give something meaningful and how it would be a positive impact in someone's life. My point in all this is that it seems we do not have to break the bank with our own kids and family, because they are usually content. We can actually provide money to those who truly are in need. And this is exactly what Michelle and I are going to do for 2010, and hopefully, beyond.

Back to the conversation with my cousin. I ended up telling him later on that I really didn't need anything , and that I believed he could do better by purchasing a goat for a family through World Vision or some organzation of his choosing. I also told him about Michelle and I planning to sponsor a child. He got back with me later on, and it turned out that he and his wife were planning on sponsoring a child to. How cool is that?! They had been talking about similar concepts and were struggling with what to do. My thoughts only soldified their decision.

I want to be real clear: this is not a guilt blog to make you go out and give money to an organization. That is not my intent. I want people to understand that for many of us, we give gifts for other reasons than to make the gift reciever happy. And for the gift reciever, they usually have the things they need or want. Now, I know you want to give things to your significant other, kids, favorite son-in-law, etc. And these are good things. But, if you really want to make somebody happy, why not give in a manner that provides for people's basic needs?

* Some Random December Moments

2009-12-21T09:01:00.002-05:00

Christmas is fast approaching and we have been doing many things. Today is our first day off from school and I have nothing on the calendar for the next two weeks except travel. Today I have nothing on our agenda except enjoying our day off (unless of course I feel like getting the house scrubbed from top to bottom, wrapping the presents, folding the gigantic pile of laundry and packing for our trip to grandmas ... oh and then cooking meals for my family, but surely they won't be harmed by a few hours without food) A few interesting highlights from our past few weeks...

I walked around with a splint on my finger for a few days to help remind myself and the smaller members of my family not to use/grab/ or twist it. I recently visited my physician for a general check up and mentioned my middle joint was hurting. After a process of elimination he declared it a tendinitis of the extensor hood due to over twirling. I now have medical documentation that my daughter is above average in twirling. She will hold my finger and twirl over and over and over again. Perhaps I should sign her up for ballroom dancing someday.
I finally agreed to let my son bring a friend home from school and they had a great time until my son accidentally hit him with a rock and busted his lip and broke a brand new front tooth. There were many emotional responses. The little guy was perhaps the calmest of us all. He was merely bleeding and waiting for his dad. My son was worried his friend wouldn't like him anymore and that his parents would think our house was a dangerous place. My thoughts were somewhat similar and I felt nauseous for days just thinking about that little guys coming to such harm in my home. His parents by the way were terribly gracious and the little guys saw me at school a few days ago and shouted at me across the gym "I am OK!"
We have finished laying laminate wood in our downstairs in another attempt to make our house look more "buyable" Now we only have to lay 150+ feet of corner round to finish the project - along with getting all the mess out of the garage, but Judah has Christmas Eve off so that is how he can begin his holiday fun:)
My daughter has been having her graduate courses in dressing decently and maintaining privacy. She is still prone to run around naked shouting for someone to help her with a bath or some wardrobe change. We had to take away all the 3T skirts because they were too short. In these recent lessons she has now become quite the morality police, just ask some of the teenage girls at our church (she will pull up any collar she feels is too revealing). While sitting on my lap last night she turned to me and pulled my collar farther up because apparently I was showing a bit too much cleavage for her taste. I would add that she was sitting on my shirt and her little body was contributing to the issue at hand. However she felt that my neckline was ... and I quote ..."inappropriate."

I hope to do some sort of Christmas themed post soon, but you never know. Timeliness is not my best virtue.

* Quirky Quotes

2009-12-09T15:47:00.002-05:00

In order to share the love I thought I would throw out something the kids have made me say that otherwise would have never come out of my mouth. My princess walked around the side of the car yesterday, having recently touched some unknown substance. She repeated the phrase "Ew Ew Ew ew ew ew" A lot. My response...

"Just wipe it on momma."

She felt much better.

Here's a shout out to all the moms who have voluntarily caught projectile vomiting or any other bodily fluid due to some dormant mom gene that ramps up after the birthing process...

Ew.

* Quirky Quotes

2009-12-01T22:50:00.002-05:00

This category of posts was designed to help me remember the wonderfully adorable and sometimes randomly wacky things my children say. Today however I am quoting someone else. Judah actually. This goes to show that sometimes children make you say randomly wacky things as well.
During the bedtime activities he encouraged our children to brush their teeth. Since we have recently traveled their tooth brushes were still in the travel bag and it has moved around. After it was located apparently there was some dispute over toothbrush usage because my husband was heard to say...

(to my daughter)

"Use your own toothbrush!!!"

* Where is Winter?

2009-12-01T08:47:00.002-05:00

We have completed the Thanksgiving holidays and now are faced with the month of December. Last night we pulled all the boxes out of the attic, but that was all the effort we gave it and promptly went off to bath and bed routines. Sentence number two from my son this morning was "Are we going to put up Christmas today?" I love the wording, not 'the Christmas decorations' but 'Christmas' as though we owned the holiday itself and packed it away in several boxes each year.
In a similar vein of thought I woke up this morning thinking about wearing sweaters and wondering when it would snow. I looked out the window to perhaps our first heavy frost of the season and thought again 'when will it snow?' Apparently I have not outgrown the school girl thinking of snow days. So I ran to my trusty weather center (aka weather.com) and was distressed to learn that while apparently it is snowing in SOUTHERN New Mexico and NORTHERN Mexico there was no snow planned for my area in the next 10 days!
Yesterday my son had a short sleeved t-shirt and my daughter has recycled the pants under skirts routine from last year. Although she has a distressing lack of skirts for this technique this year, all of last years being in the 3T size and she is now -finally- wearing 4T. (I bought a true 4T skirt this weekend and it fell off her, apparently her waist is still in the 2-3T range but her father has emphatically said she can not wear the length of a 3T anymore)

Sigh. Where is winter?

A New Approach to Church

2009-11-20T14:05:00.013-05:00

I have been doing a lot of thinking recently. Some of the podcasts I have been listening to have been talking about what the original church looked like. I have also been reading a lot of blogs from church leaders that have been writing about what the church should look like in the 21st century. I have had conversations with other Christians that freely admit that the way we do “Sundays” is not how the early Christians would have done it. In fact, some of these conversations discuss how meeting during the week for bible studies seem to be more in line with what the original Christians had in mind than what we do formally on Sunday mornings.

There seems to be a growing number of people who look at our Sunday morning rituals and are starting to see that they are not conducive to building relationships. We come to a church building, sit in pews facing forward, sing songs to God, but rarely engage in meaningful relationships with those around us. Is it any wonder that churches all across the country are decreasing in attendance? At the same time, this is why home churches, and small group ministries are growing. Let’s face it: one of the main reasons the early Christians met was to foster closer relationships.

I like the concept of home churches and small groups, because these environments allow relationships to grow. But I can’t abandon the thought that we can do something with these multi-million dollar buildings. There is all this SPACE that can be utilized! Some have gymnasiums, cafeterias, preschools, coffee shops, etc. Some churches are massive. Some have their own exit ramps from interstate systems. There is something about church buildings that still draws us to them. Then there are the smaller churches. They may not have a gift shop, but they were still a million dollar investment. And all across the country there are a lot of these churches that sit vacant. It seems such a waste of money to see a church building just sitting there, empty.

And yet, when I talk to people that attend smaller churches, most talk about the relationships they have fostered. It seems, smaller congregations are much more suitable to creating strong relationships than larger ones. That is why many congregations (mini and mega included) have small group ministries. People develop strong relationships in small group settings.

So back to the my original statement: I am hearing lot about how the way we do things on Sunday mornings isn’t the way it was originally intended, and this environment isn’t good to develop strong relationships. So I started working on something that is designed for smaller churches, that is modeled after the mega church environment where there is a lot going on because there are so many people. What if we could create an environment that felt like it “flowed”? What if we could create an environment that allowed individuals to choose when they worshiped, when they went to class, provided time to fellowship, and offer periods of counseling? Below, is what came out of a late night discussion with a great friend of mine.

I was thinking of how the Jewish temple was always open. People did not always arrive at the same time, although they did have some set hours for prayer, etc. Something was always going on. People “flowed” from one aspect of the temple to the other. Jews wanted to go to the temple. To them, that was where God was. For us today, we know that God lives inside of us, but there is still this strong desire for us to “get together”. We have this deep desire to come together, but when we do and sit in a pew, or don’t talk with any one, we sometimes don’t feel fulfilled. We “checked a box”, or did our part by showing up on Sundays, but there was still something missing. Let me try to explain each of these time frames and how they interact with each other.

Communion – Why do we come together? The purpose of Sundays gets its roots from Acts 2:43-47 (one of only a few passages) that mention the believers coming together to take the Lord’s Supper. Communion is an extremely important event to a Christian. It is a meal where we are to discuss, reflect, teach about, etc. what Jesus did for us. This part of Christianity can actually be dated back to the Passover, which God instituted with the Israelites in the book of Exodus. It is one of the most important aspects of being a Christian.
This time could be started with songs as a large group. We would be sitting around tables where discussion could be easier than in pews facing forward. Maybe some would get up and congregate with other families. Maybe, background music would be played. This would also be a time where parents could discuss more openly about why Jesus died, and go back to the command given by God in Deuteronomy 6: 4-9, “…repeat them [commands from God] again and again to your children…”

Worship Experience – As you can see, the worship experience continues for almost three hours. This a period where people can gather and sing, have a prayer, read scripture, play a video, give a declaration, etc. The beauty of this time is that it is not scripted. It would also be a smaller group setting (depending on the number in your congregation). This type of environment would lend itself to parent’s encouraging their children to lead a song, give a prayer, etc.

There would be facilitators who could start songs, prayer, play a contemporary song, etc. but they were not doing this the entire time. If someone felt moved to lead a song, they would do that. It’s important to note that the same facilitators would not be there the entire three hours. This time would be managed by multiple facilitators that could be scheduled at different times. The entire church body could come and go as they pleased. According to how they were participating in the other areas of the building would dictate when or how long they stayed in the worship experience. And without a scripted order of worship we would actually be giving the Holy Spirit the opportunity to do his job and lead worship. The body would be lifting itself up instead of having a small number of people being overworked and somehow being promoted into a ‘higher’ level of Christianity.

Classes – each of the classes are in 50 minute blocks. It’s important to note that these classes in the diagram above are examples. They could be any number of classes, arranged in any number of orders. The point of the diagram is to show that multiple classes are going on. Members can choose how many classes they want to attend, depending on the topics and the needs they have on their lives.

Family experience – This aspect of the Sunday morning worship is important as well. This is the time where parents and children are being taught and engaged as a family. For us, family experience is when we do our high energy music, skits, videos, audience participation, etc. It’s a production and is designed to introduce the bible story to be focused on for the week. It is very high level, and it is very entertaining. This way, it is more memorable. That is why it is important that parents of these children are present and involved. The children are going to be asking questions about characters in the skit, and the parents should know what is going so they can answer their children’s’ questions appropriately.

Large group – This is a period where the children are in a large group setting without the parents. The bible story is reinforced one more time, and there is possibly a video or multimedia presentation to compliment the bible story.

Small group – this period is when children are broken into groups of 5 – 8 where the small group leaders can go over the bible message one more time, while also fostering relationships from child to child.

So what would a typical Sunday look like? I created a couple of examples of how I think different types of families could participate in this form of coming together.

Example #1 – A typical family would show up at the church building around 9am. They would go to the worship part for about an hour, and then head to Family experience. During this time, mom and dad would be engaged with their children as they start to focus on the bible story of the week. When the children go to Large Group, the parents can then go to a class that is available. In this particular example, it could be a class on handling money responsibly, or a study of the book of Acts. After this 50 minute block, the family would come back together to have communion with other families. There would be songs sung as a large group. During this time, the parents would talk to their children the importance of remembering what Jesus did. It’s also possible that other families would migrate from table to table, having conversation and fellowship with each other.

Example #2 – An empty nest couple could attend this congregation by showing up around 8:30. They like the idea of getting their morning started early. Again, this communion period would be started with songs, a group of families would be gathered, and the focus would be on taking a meal together, remembering what Jesus did for them. After a period of time the empty nesters decide to go to the class on The Beatitudes. They like this class, as it is a lecture style class. It is very similar to sermons they have experienced at other churches. After this class, they meet some friends, and fellowship with them for a few minutes before going off to the worship part of the congregation. After a period of worship (the length of which is their choosing), they decide to leave, going about their Sunday. (Or in a radical way of thinking – they finish with their personal worship by 11:00 and can now lead a small group of children and participate in growing the next generation as well)

It’s important to note that the focus is being fluid from one aspect of a Sunday morning to another. We should not get hung up on the schedule. There are many ways this type of Sunday morning can be scheduled. This is not just a three service church – the worship experience is fluid and nonstop. The classes would change over time and potentially the time your family arrives/departs would change as you attend the portions you need, in theory allowing you to mix more fully with the entire congregation instead of early and late service attendees never overlapping. There is no more early and late sessions. The worship experience is dependent on those in the room at the time – if it isn’t what you like, you played a part in making it that way. I recognize that this change would take A WHILE to get used to, but should encountering God be such a habit that we no longer have to think about it to do it?

So my question to you is… would you attend a church like this?

* 8 Squash

2009-11-20T09:30:00.007-05:00

I may have commented before about our gardening attempts. Last summer (08) was our first garden, during which time we successfully fed the rabbits and squirrels in our neighborhood. We ourselves came away with two squash which I served to some guests in a squash casserole. Had I known at the time it was to be the only produce of that summer I may have selfishly horded it and served it only to myself.

Enter summer of 09 when I much more realistic expectations about the animals in our neighborhood, my son had much greater leeway to chase them out of the yard and occasionally throw dirt at them. (Animal rights activists please note that my opinion of the odds of him actually hitting a fleeing rabbit were so low as to see this as a safe activity for the rabbits - and I may say that he did a splendid job) They still managed to eat all the green beans and carrots, which is not surprising for anyone who has read Beatrix Potter's stories about Peter Rabbit. I testify that my sympathy for Mr. Mac Gregor has increased dramatically and feel no sympathy for the rabbit who DISOBEYED his mother and STOLE food from a hard working farmer.

We succeeded in harvesting eight squash this year. Shortly after the eight were harvested I went to the beach with the kids, it didn't rain for a week and the garden was dead upon our arrival home. Not wanting to 'waste' these squash I was careful as to when I used them, but I did not want to actually be selfish. I served them in three meals, all with guests, all differently prepared. Since you are dying to know I will make a list...

Sauteed with butter and garlic - served to our friends in Memphis (although in all truth I observed this preparation rather than be of any help - and for those who know, sometimes it is best to just observe her than get it the way :) )
Mixed vegetable saute, different spices than before - served at college dinner - never too big a fan of vegetables, young adults will indulge me and try what I make. I liked it and felt terribly healthy being able to say we had "mixed vegetables" as a side dish.
Squash casserole (the stand-by) - served at this past week's senior dinner (I ate the last of the leftovers yesterday - yum)

I took some lovely pictures of the garden when it was fresh and new and I am going to share them because I think everyone agrees with me (until proven otherwise- which has happened on occasion)

Those are some good looking green beans - and apparently tasty 'cuz the rabbits couldn't get enough. I did get some for seeds so maybe I will get to eat some someday. I found how the green beans grew from their plant fascinating - maybe you will too. Check out how the bean pushes out from the flower...

Since it is squash that I was talking about in the first place I will share a picture of the gorgeous vines (that go everywhere and annoy Judah for invading his lawn)

The vines at the bottom were actually watermelon, which never produced anything but cute little flowers. As winter gets closer I enjoy looking at garden pictures - a reminder that I will come out on the other side of the cold and get to plant things again.

Hopefully in 2010 we will harvest even more than 8 squash.

Knowing God

2009-11-13T11:58:00.003-05:00

This post is mainly for the guys in our Men’s Wednesday morning bible class. I wanted to have some follow up on John 17. We had some really good discussion, but I felt like taking some of those thoughts a little further. Below, is a compilation of notes from this chapter.

In John 17: 3, Jesus is pretty clear what eternal life is: Knowing the father, and Jesus Christ, His Son. The next question is, how do we know the Father and his son? The amazing thing, is that this chapter explains this. In short, to know the Father is to have a relationship with Him where any desire or temptation we should have would be quenched. In other words, we would be tempted, but we would not give in to that temptation, because the relationship we have with God is satisfying. So, how do we have that relationship with God?

I believe one way we have that relationship is to know what truth is. Vs. 6-8 Jesus mentions that He “has given them the words that God had given Him”. This is the bible. I believe that Jesus sees this as a very important part of knowing God. He even mentions it again in vs. 17. Part of a relationship with God is to study the bible, and to understand what it says. This knowledge of the bible also helps to strengthen our moral compass. It provides what is right and wrong. Our brain will establish what is right or wrong on its own, if we let it. But to study truth, as God would have it, helps to solidify what is truly right and what is truly wrong. When we desire a relationship with God, we will try to do what He says.

We are also to “live in the world”. I believe this helps in understanding where the world is heading, and how it works. God does not call us to move into isolation, and focus on ourselves. We are to be a beacon of light to the world. Our actions should be such that they are a positive impact on those around us. I think we can also better reach the world by understanding how it works. Science has shown in numerous disciplines that there is a creator, and He is active in different aspects of life, environment, and social structures. We can show, through chemistry, biology, mathematics, physics, etc. that God exists. This “knowledge of God’s creation” can also satisfy that voice in our head that may say, “where did I come from?” I don’t believe that we all have to be researchers, but I do believe that God wants us to recognize His creation around us. We see this in the plants, the blue skies, the water cycle, and the stars, just to name a few. When we look on God’s creation, we see His foot print.

Another way of knowing God is through relationships. Vs. 20 – 24 discusses Jesus’ desire that, not only the apostles, but us as well, are unified. It’s interesting that Jesus mentions that “the world will know You sent me” by the relationships we foster. Of course, these have to be healthy relationships. The relationships we have must be positive in nature. Being unified does not mean we focus on ourselves. We can’t be selfish in a unified relationship. We are focused on others. We want what is in their best interest.

So how do we do that? How do we know God through relationships? I believe we do this through sharing hardships, through fellowship with others, celebrating our successes with each other, and even supporting each other during our failures. In other words: we know each other, we trust each other, we share with each other. When we know those we associate with, we are that much closer to having a relationship with God. Again, God does not call us into isolation. He wants us to have relationships with others. He wants us to be united in our beliefs.

We cannot have meaningful relationships with others JUST ON Sundays. I am sorry, but it just won’t work. Having meaningful relationships with others is dirty business. Think about it: If you are married, do you always get along with your spouse? Maybe you have a best friend. Do you always agree with them? Now, it may be that you know your spouse or best friend so well that you can usually answer for them, but that is different from “never fighting”. Having a true relationship with someone means that you know everything about them. It means that when there is a disagreement, “going your separate ways” is not an option because it is not even in your dictionary. Neither of you would know what that means. You cannot see yourself separated from them. You disagree about a certain topic, yes, but you know that eventually there will be a resolution. Having a meaningful relationship with someone takes work, and it is two sided. It’s funny, being unified is a “two way street”….

I believe that positive relationships are addictive. If others see me in a relationship that is healthy, then they want one as well. As others experience healthy relationships, it spreads like wild fire. I believe this is what God intended. We all desire a close relationship. God made us that way. It’s His way of bringing heaven to earth, and He wants to experience eternal life.

So, eternal life is knowing God. Knowing God is studying His word (and following His commandments – evangelism, helping others, being a positive influence in the world, etc.), studying His creation, and having positive, meaningful relationships with others.

What are your thoughts? Would you add anything to this list?

* Laziness

2009-11-09T14:24:00.002-05:00

Honestly - I have no right to pick on my blogger friends any longer for their time away and gaps in their posts. I have not posted in well over a month and perhaps longer. It got to the point when it had been so long I was avoiding saying anything because I felt such an absence warranted a really profound return blog. I have no such thing. Life moves along and I am missing profound moments. I am not feeling the overwhelmed sensation I went through last holiday season, although the holidays approach. I have no really good excuse for not blogging, so I will blame it on laziness. My old trusty stand-by.

I had great thoughts the other day about little boys when my second grader dove to the ground in the middle of some conversation for NO REASON then looked up at me and said "I just had to do that!" I thought 'that would inspire a great blog...' then I promptly went on with my day.
We have recently begun rock climbing as a family and I have taken the college girls a few times - a wonderful experience. It occurred to me that the differences between how my children climb and how I and the college girls climb could be a interesting lesson/commentary on trust, but I let that one go too.
I am teaching a gymnastics class on Tuesdays at a preschool and my daughter sits in a four year old class. The teacher is a splendid mix of firm and silly. My daughter and her friends know that their silent/pay attention word is "salami" and when on the carpet they all sit on their "coolio." My daughter busted out with "I know what a coolio is" one day at dinner and I truly did not know what she was going to say. How could one not stop and comment on such fantastic silliness?
I did not do any adorable Halloween post, although my sister, mom, and nieces came and we were surrounded by a very adorable Belle, Strawberry Shortcake (the hat was toooooo cute) and Wonder Woman, as well as very stealthy and cool Snake Eyes (ours talked)
My son's class is going through a change in teachers mid year and this has sparked some conversations in our home - no blog however...
KidZone is going well but I have visions and desire for more...no blog.
I found myself on the yearbook committee once again and I am not that excited about it. This will surely come up in blogs after the first of the year...

Etc, etc, etc.

I am so lazy.

Forgiveness

2009-11-03T12:01:00.000-05:00

Not sure where this one is heading.
Recently, I have been teaching a class on forgiveness. For me, teaching a specific topic seems to have more meaning than I really expect at the time. Events happen that seem to be random, but are associated with the topic. I hear things through podcasts or people’s conversations that are completely relevant to what I am teaching. I tend to plan to teach the topic in a certain direction, and then these events happen that steer me in another. It seems to always happen that way! Not really sure what that means.
Anyway, back to forgiveness. A couple of Sundays ago I talked about revenge. I’ll be honest, revenge movies are some of my favorite. As soon as I started talking about revenge, the movie Taken came into my head. When this movie came out, I took Michelle to see it. I could truly relate to the character played by Liam Neeson. There is just something about being able to relate to the characters in these movies! Problem with revenge, is that it’s a cycle. When is enough, enough? It also escalates. It is also a personal problem with me and God. It says, “God, in this instance, I will be the judge. Your justice is not good enough.” Revenge also justifies heinous acts that we would “normally” say are wrong.
This weekend I taught on Matthew 18: 21 – 35. I usually hear this story in relationship to how we have to forgive people all the time. I taught from the point that if you want to live by the book (tit for tat), then God will let you. It was a different approach to a bible story. We had some good discussion, and I think it opened a few eyes on how we handle relationships. Do we treat our relationships like a positive and negative column? Positive column would be when people say good things about us, include us conversations, invite us to dinner, etc. Negative would be excluding us from lunch, not getting us a present on our birthday, pouting when someone hurts our feelings. How we treat that person is related to the sum of the positive and negative results. God tells us, “if you want to live by the book, I will let you.” He however, threw out the book when His son died for everyone. He wants us to do the same.
We were eating lunch with some friends this weekend, and the topic of a high profile trial came up. Somebody asked me if I could vote for the death penalty, and I immediately answered, “yes”. I didn’t even think about it too much. My head was killing me, and all I wanted to do was go home and take a nap. Later that day, the thought hit me, “how come I answered so quickly”? Is it so easy for me to write off someone’s life? Just because someone did such a terrible crime does not negate the fact that they were created in the image of God. But still: I can’t disregard the acts I would go to for my wife, or my children….
Yesterday, the talk radio show I listen to, talked about capital punishment. The host had one of his buddies from college on, who happened to be a high profile radio host in another market. The point: they were friends, good friends, and they had completely polar opposite views on the death penalty.
I just finished listening to a podcast on “Blessed are the Peacemakers”, one of the Beatitudes. Some of the points are: 1) Do we project our deepest fears and place them on others (homophobia, government conspiracies, racism, etc.)? This creates a “they are evil, we are good” situation. 2) The podcast mentions the story of Joshua when he comes in contact with the leader of the Lord’s army (Joshua 5:13-15). Joshua asks him, “are you for us, or against us?”. The angel replies, “neither”. What?!? I mean, he is Joshua! He is one of the spies that says with God on our side no one can defeat us! The angel of the Lord is not on Joshua’s side? What is going on here? He then tells Joshua to take off his sandals for he is on holy ground. The story then goes into the Fall of Jericho. That’s it. Nothing else. It’s the weirdest story….. We look at life as, “you are either on my side or on their side.” God sees life as “everyone is my creation. If you come at them with hate and fear, you are not showing them My love that I have for them.”
It seems forgiveness is more than just a topical discussion to be taken up on Sunday mornings. I guess, God is trying to tell me something.

More or Less, Catalyst09 continued

2009-10-28T15:36:00.001-04:00

Rob Bell is one of those guys that I really like to pay attention to. He speaks the way he writes. I like that. For some reason, I get lost in a dialogue when I start to listen to an author for the first time, and he doesn’t “sound” like what I was expecting. Rob isn’t like that. If you have ever read any of his books, be assured that he speaks about the same way.

Rob’s lecture at the Catalyst conference really got me thinking. Again, you have to remember that he is speaking to 13,000 ministry leaders. His initial question was, “is bigger better?” For the majority of those in attendance the initial reaction (and mine included) was, “YES!” Every ministry I have been a part of had always had a bullet in the goals and objectives section that had to with growth. That is just what you do. Ministries are supposed to grow. If they are not growing, then they are not healthy. And for reason, I have always put a numerical value (attendance) on this action. Rob doesn’t do that.

He said things like:
Sometimes crowds thin. John 6:60 - “…this is very hard to understand. How can anyone accept it?” John 6:66 -“…many of His disciples turned away and deserted Him.” I don’t like this teaching. I want my ministry to grow, numerically. Rob used this scripture to show that God is more interested in healthy ministries, than ones based on numbers.
Do what God asks of you, NOT based on popularity. Sometimes, being right is not very popular. And when that happens, the crowds will thin. Guaranteed.
God will never ask, “Why were you not more like Moses?” He is going to ask, “Why were you not more like you?” We forget this sometimes, don’t we? We know the teachings, but for some reason we still compare ourselves to prophets, elders, teachers, preachers, etc. God wants to know what I did with my life. I need to stop worrying about how I don’t measure up to whom ever, and use that wasted energy on doing His will through me!
God tells us to do this; this thing right here, right now. We shouldn’t get focused on growing it. When He is ready, then He will give us something else. That is what we need to be focused on; understanding when He says, “here try this now.”

Whatever it is that you are doing right now, focus on that, and do it well. That is what you were made for.

2009-10-22T09:14:00.000-04:00

Here is another post from our trip to Catalyst09 this year.

Malcolm Gladwell, author (Tipping Point, Blink, and Outliers)
I’ll be honest, Malcolm was my favorite speaker. I think he was Michelle’s as well. What is most interesting about Malcolm being one of the main speakers at Catalyst is that he is not considered a “Christian speaker”. This man has so much respect from guys like Andy Stanley and Reggie Joiner that he is given a 30+ minute segment to talk about whatever he wants! And what he wanted to talk about was arrogance in leadership. Here are a few points from his talk:
1) Experts make mistakes
2) Most people tend to overestimate the value of extra bits of information.
3) Discussed the concept of mis-calibration – thinking you know more than you actually know
4) Leaders make mistakes, not from a lack of knowledge, but from and because you have knowledge.
5) “Incompetence is irritating, but overconfidence is scary”.
6) Experts are usually trapped by confidence.
7) “What we need in times of crisis from our leaders is not daring decisions but humility”.
In organizations that you are involved in, do you look to your leaders for answers? Do your leaders admit they make mistakes? Do they come across as arrogant? Are your leaders humble?

Not Right Now....

2009-10-12T15:22:00.002-04:00

I plan to post about our experiences from Catalyst09 over the next week or so. Below, is one of the more impactful talks I heard.

One of the speakers asked this question: “Does your family get your best, or what is left over from ministry?” His point was that sometimes we use ministry as an excuse when we recognize we are neglecting our families. Ministry leaders are amazingly susceptible to putting families second, third, or even fourth. This is not how it is to be. Family is only second to God. We sometimes forget that, or at least assume that the family understands what the priorities are when it comes to “saving souls”. It’s so easy for us to go off thinking that “only we can save that person”. The whole time, God is looking down on us going, “really? Only you can save that person? Please….” Here is another question the speaker asked that really punched me right in the face: Has your child ever SEEN you say, “No, I cannot do that now. I am playing with my son or daughter right now. It will have to wait until I am done.” Our kids need to SEE what is important in OUR lives.

The hard part about ministry is balancing family life and "ministry" life. If you really know Michelle and I, you know we "try" to solve this problem by combining them. Our children are with us as much as possible. Michelle and I do a lot of ministry work as a team. We will also periodically balance out the kids by having one of us at home when the other needs to do some type of "ministry" thing. Let's face it: Michelle is usually the one who stays home while I go off trying to "save someone". So when the speaker asked the question if my kids ever saw me turn down a ministry role for them, it really hit me hard. Because the answer is no, or at least I can not think of one. What this tells my son or daughter is that"ministry is more important than him or her". Whoa....

As "the man of the house", my first priority is to God, my second priority is to my wife, the third priority is to my children, and then the next is everything else; even if i am a ministry leader. I'll be honest: that is a hard statement to write out. If our children continually see that they are put second when it comes to ministry, this will have negative impacts down the road. More than likely, they will turn away from "church", because of resentment from me always putting ministry first in their lives. The same could be said for spouses as well.

I sometimes assume that doing ministry is putting God first. But that is not necessarily so. Putting God first is having that relationship with Him where you know where you stand. You know He is with you and is for you in all things. You see Jesus in everyone you come in contact with. You work hard every day at your job, performing at it as though God was your direct report. You wake up every morning asking God, "make it obvious who You want me to impact today."

If we are not careful, we begin to think that we are the only ones who can help that person. "I know them better than anyone else", we might say. Or we are the only ones who can grow this church. Our plans are the only thing that are going to help this ministry to succeed. When this happens, we are not doing ministry, because we are not including God in our plans.

Being a ministry leader does not give us a free pass from the responsibilities of our families for the sake "of the Kingdom". So here is my question: If you are a ministry leader, how do you balance time with your family, with your spouse, with your children, with your given ministry?

Bring the Kids Along!

2009-10-02T12:28:00.003-04:00

Recently, a good friend of mine told me, “I don’t see how you do it.” He was referring to how Michelle and I do all that we do in the ministry arena without sacrificing time with our kids. One of my good friends wrote a post that I believe sheds some light on our philosophy. However, I feel a little more clarification may be in order.
Michelle and I work with our church family on a variety of fronts. We love the fact that we are involved, but not “in charge” of a lot. True, we are the college ministry leaders, but that really is it in an official capacity. We are also involved in our children’s ministry, the ladies ministry, men’s ministry, youth, worship, and benevolence. When I write it all out, it does seem like a lot. But take my word for it, we do make time for ourselves and the kids on a regular basis. It just may not seem like it from others’ perspectives. When the cell phones go straight to voicemail, the home phone is off the hook, and we are not answering the front door, you know we are having “Wilkins Family Day”.
Anyway, back to what this post is about: I am a firm believer in that ministry is your way of life. We decided a long time ago that we would do our best to not separate our “church life” from our “personal life”. We try to model our life on how Jesus lived His life. We make a point, especially in teaching our children, that there is no difference in church time, family time, or ministry time. When Jesus came on to the scene, He took the sacred (the temple and the laws), and combined them with the common (you and me). I have a post in my head that better explains this, but for now, let’s focus on the fact that God is with us in all settings, not just church. I’ll be the first to admit that we are not perfect. But this is our overall philosophy.
One example is how we run our college ministry. In just about all situations, our children are present when we do something with the college adults. We have the college adults over for dinner once a month. My children are not “dismissed” from the room. In fact, the college adults love playing with our kids, almost as much as our kids love playing with them. Our kids eat dinner with them. They play games with them. In fact, many of my sons’ favorite movies are also favorites of the college adults. There have been numerous occasions where we all found ourselves watching a movie that my son or daughter picked out. We do not tell them to “go play”. This interaction, in my opinion, tells my children that they are important. It is also an environment where they learn from others. And these “others” are those that I trust with my children. If you know anything about Michelle and I, it is that we are very particular about what our children are exposed to. It is our responsibility as parents to raise our children the way God wants them raised. We believe the best way to do that is to have them exposed to numerous and different environments, within the confines of our control! College ministry is a perfect example of that. We have anime, book scholars, community school, gamers, working full time, movie critics, as well as others, in our group. Its an eclectic group! And let’s face it: college adults are cool. Children want to be around “cool” things. So, being involved in the college adults just makes sense. Our children know that we are the college ministry leaders, but they also know that they (my kids) are special.
Another example is our work with an inner city church. Again, we bring our kids along. Our kids see the college adults interact with those that have hardly anything. They see their parents and other adult volunteers interacting with “the least of these”. But more importantly, they themselves are interacting with children their own age that have hardly anything. To me, this is an amazing learning experience for my children. I can honestly say that both of my children do not see “color” or “social status” when they talk about their friends at the inner city church. I love that!
There have been times when we do tell the kids they can not come along. In these instances, I avoid phrases like, “when you get older you will understand.” I do my best to be honest with them, and decide how much of the situation they are ready to hear. “Mommy needs to go bail a girl out of jail.” “Daddy is going to go help one of the guys talk through a difficult choice he needs to make”. As you might expect, these types of statements set off a flurry of questions. We do our best to answer their questions; trying to balance what will satisfy their inquisitiveness, without giving them information that they are not ready for. Again, we the parents are deciding what the best inputs for our children are. There are situations that we feel they are ready for, and others that they are not. There are times when the phrase, “because I said so”, or something similar is used. But we really try to limit those responses.
I’ll be honest, our life is unique. And there are times when I do need a break. I am not perfect. Periodically, things get to me. But in general, this is who we are. We really try to have our kids involved in all the things that we do. Very rarely do we get babysitters so that we can go take care of something “ministry” related. Babysitters are for mommy/daddy dates! We try to teach our kids that God is present all the time. God is with us when we go to the football game. God is with us when we meet with others on Sunday mornings. God is with us when we go to grandmas. God is with us on daddy/daughter night, or mommy/son night. God is with us on “Wilkins Family day”. How about you? Where do your children fit in to your life?

John ch. 5, Do I want to be healed?

2009-09-30T16:12:00.001-04:00

Well, I didn’t get through both chapter 5 and 6 of John this morning. We only finished chapter 5, and that’s OK. Chapter 6 is challenging enough all on its own. Below, are only a few excerpts from our study.
Our group this morning spent a lot of time on discussing the thought, “do I want to be healed?” In the first part of chapter 5, Jesus heals a man who has had some type of illness for 38 years. Jesus asks the man, “do you want to be healed?” Initially, one could ask, “well, who doesn’t want to be healed?? Especially if I have been sick for long!” And I’ll be honest, that is how I took it. My gut reaction to this passage, is “why does Jesus ask Him the question?” The discussion this morning centered around this thought.
Do I want to be healed? There are things in our life that we put in front of God. For some, we even worship aspects of this world, and these are a sickness to us. So the question is then raised, do we want to be healed from these sicknesses in our body? I think part of the reason why the question is so powerful has to do with the result if we say yes. If we allow Jesus to heal us, then we actually have to get up and do something, just like the man in the passage. It would no longer be expected for him to beg for his daily living. He would now have to get a job. He would have to work. There would now be expectations from others of him. Do we want to be healed of our sicknesses, and have expectations placed on us? This line of thought is part of what it means to know Jesus.
We also talked about Jesus’ declaration of who He was. This is mainly from the passage of 5:31 – 47. We see where the religious leaders sent messengers to John, and John told them about Jesus. Jesus himself did miracles in front of them. God, written in the Old Testament, testifies about Jesus. These leaders of the law would have known this. They searched the scriptures, and those scriptures would have told them about Jesus. So the thought in our discussion this morning was raised, “they knew Jesus, they just didn’t believe Him.”
For Christians today, this should be eye opening. Do we believe what we say about Jesus? We are taught, even from an early age who Jesus is. But when is it that we actually believe Him? Belief requires action on our part. At some point we have to confront this concept. We either believe what Jesus says, and try to change our lives accordingly, or we don’t and keep living our lives the way we always have, without any attempt to become better people. If we are not careful, we will busy our lives with “good things”, and over look Jesus in our lives. We try to distract ourselves from this inevitable confrontation.
Knowing Jesus also means seeing Jesus in others. By this, I mean understanding that every person is a unique creation from God. This morning, I used the example of having to see Jesus in someone who may have abducted my child. What I mean by this is that my initial reaction should take me back to the fact that everyone is created by God. Evil exists in this world. That I truly believe. But every human being was created by God. When we look at people (EVERYONE) in this light, if nothing else, it allows us to stop and think, even for a split second, about who this person is. I am not saying I am perfect. I am saying I think that is how true Christianity starts.

Book of John

2009-09-29T15:25:00.003-04:00

I have been studying the gospel of John recently. Its actually pretty cool. It doesn't necessarily "fit" the other gospels, and in some circles is not considered a synoptic gospel. It seems to be written to counter the teaching that Jesus was only Spirit, and not also flesh. It also has evangelistic under tones to Greek Jews. There is also some debate as to who actually wrote it. In other words, some believe the author was not the apostle John, but another "John" in later formation of the early Christian faith. In any event, the gospel of John is really quite amazing.

I am presently studying chapters 5 and 6. I have to teach on them in the morning for a men's bible study I am a part of each week. These two chapters have some really weird stuff in them. Look at what I have to deal with!

John 5:1 - 13 - Jesus heals a lame man.
Why does't Jesus heal others at the pool?
Why does he ask the man if he wants to be healed? Who doesn't want to be healed?!?

John 5:24 - "...those who listen and believe...will have eternal life."
Is there a difference in knowing and believing?

John 6:1-14 - Jesus feeds the multitude
Why doesn't Jesus just create the food? Why does He use the bread and fish from the little boy?

John 6:16-21 - Walking on water
He walks on water! How cool is that!?! Who wouldn't want to do that?!!
"...immediately the boat arrived at the their destination!" - WHAT?!?!

John 6:35 - He declares Himself the Bread of Life.
Where is He going with this?

John 6:53-58 - To me, this part is a little weird. I'll be honest. I dont' think I get it completely. "eat my flesh"? "Drink my blood"? Even if you look at the original Greek, and I am no Greek scholar, supposedly John uses verbs that are defined as a "chomping" or "chewing" action..... What?

Well, as you can see I have my work cut out for me. It seems, I may need to chew on the Word for a little bit....

* Anniversary List

2009-09-21T14:18:00.002-04:00

Some weeks ago Judah and I celebrated our anniversary and I had in mind a post I wanted to do in honor of that occasion, but as it often happens with me, I put it off and procrastinated until it no longer seems currently relevant. We will blame Judah for this as he arranged for my mom to come get the kids so we could have the weekend to ourselves and go visit Lake Lure/Chimney Rock North Carolina. While he was entertained by the ability to twitter from many places while there, especially the top of Chimney Rock itself - we did have a lovely time where he actually paid attention to me and not the bars on his phone.

My plan for the anniversary post was not to list the wonderful things about Judah himself but rather have it more focused on myself!!! :) Or more to the point, the things about me that Judah must put up with. After reading this list you will more fully know how wonderful he is by realizing what he must endure in his daily life...

I am always late. I was late to the wedding and I have been late ever since. Note the reference to putting this post off until it makes no sense to bring it up. Judah is always early - ALWAYS. This makes for some interesting moments when we are going somewhere. In reality it means he is always waiting on me, but he has been known to show some grace when we arrive somewhere ridiculously early and turn to me and say "well I guess we are a little early."
I sleep with a body pillow. A hold over from two pregnancies where laying on ones side gets rather uncomfortable. I love holding a pillow in my sleep. Judah believes that this pillow means that I take a disproportionate amount of the bed space. While I have repeatedly shown him that I am within my side - the headboard cleverly has a line in the middle that I can use as evidence of my being well away from his territory- he persists in this belief that I creep into his space. Since his perception is what he lives with and not reality he shows me great kindness by tolerating my invasion.
I can get quite tunnel visioned when reading or watching a movie. Judah has a sixth sense about these things and frequently calls five minutes before the conclusion or sits down as I am coming to the conclusion of a chapter. After many years I am learning to close the book - without even finishing a paragraph sometimes! Judah is proud of me when I close the book but loves me anyway WHEN I ABSOLUTELY CAN NOT DO IT AND MUST FINISH THE CHAPTER.
I am a late night snacker. Sometimes when the children are in bed I like to reward myself with some warm break and bake cookies and some milk. I know that eating late is not the best decision - but it the only way to eat food without vultures hovering over my plate. While Judah occasionally encourages us to eat healthier he generally is gracious about sharing my late night cookies.
I like to count things. Only those who live with me would know and it can be an amazingly intrusive habit. Counting the stairs every time you go up or down, counting the deck of cards before we play... The movie company that has the image with the stars that come trailing in and form an arch - there are twenty-two. Each time that comes on the screen Judah leans over and very sweetly asks if they have changed the number? No they have not.
I can manipulate with the best of them. Judah frequently finds himself eating at restaurants without knowing how he got there. Doesn't his wife stay at home? Shouldn't that mean he gets home cooked food upon his arrival home from work? Served by a woman in a skirt and apron and pearls and perfectly coiffed hair? Apparently not.
I love to sleep. My husbands desire to never be late means that he can get up whenever he needs to - in order to avoid the crushing experience of being late. As being late doesn't phase me too much I sleep until the last possible second. I like to take naps, which I generally only get on Sundays now - or when I am sick. A couple months ago I had to miss my Sunday nap for a church function and Judah forsook his nap in a moment of solidarity. The next week he had a church function and I promptly went home and took a nap anyway - no solidarity for you honey.
I hate to take medicine. I have been known to grimace through some rough pain. I have migraines and will generally take my meds for them, but not always. Judah has been known to put pills in my mouth without my permission. He can be quite rude about it really. Something about the silliness of not taking a prescription when that is the purpose of the medication in the first place - completely inefficient to avoid the drugs if it will make me feel better. Judah does love to be efficient.
I say I'm sorry - A LOT. I am sorry for things I have no control over. Ever the efficient one Judah doesn't always see why I say I am sorry - if it wasn't my fault, I can't do anything about it, and it isn't really a negative thing anyway - why say that? Bless him - I just can't help myself. I want to do so much more that I can or should. HE must provide limits and that can make him look the bad cop in the scenario, when it really just being a good husband/father.
I love lists. I love to 'talk about we are doing today' Let's plan our Saturday until we have wrung every moment out of it :) I can honey-do list like no one else.
I am a procrastinator - not quite the same as being late. You can procrastinate and still be on time. I can do both - Judah finds this all very stressful. Procrastination does not lead to lateness although it looks like it does. It is a fine mind that can see the difference.
I am a girl. Judah is a boy and therefore I do not make sense most of the time - but he claims to love me anyway!

Isn't he a good guy to put up with me?

Funerals

2009-09-18T10:16:00.002-04:00

I went to a funeral this week. One of my uncles died from cancer. He had cancer for over a year. I met people that new my uncle for almost his entire life. Some of them had not talked to him in over 15 years. And yet, they still showed up for his funeral. Even the doctor, who was from out of town showed up. My uncle also had family members that were there that were with him almost 24 hours a day toward the end of his life. He wasn't married, nor had he ever been. He had no children. Closest relationship he had was a brother and his sisters.
Why do people come to funerals? Is it out of respect for the person that died? Is it out of respect for the family? Is it a formal way of saying good by? I remember right before they closed the casket, a guy walked through the door, down the aisle, and over to the casket. He looked at my uncle for about 5 seconds, and then turned around, and walked out. No one knew who he was!
While I was there, my mom talked about how she wanted her funeral (or lack there of). One of my aunts also chimed in, explaining her wishes. They both wanted "something simple". "Don't make a big fuss," they each agreed. They were also adamant that they did not want to be cremated, however. Something about "coming back to haunt you" rings a bell.....
My uncle had already prepared for the funeral. He had gone to the funeral home a while back, and paid for it, picked out his coffin, and even prepared the type of service (visitation schedule, length of time, etc.). I got the impression that there was some type of package selection that the funeral service provided. Kind of like plan A costs this much and provides this. Plan B costs a little more, and with you get..... I am not sure but that is my guess.
One of my other uncles did the eulogy. He talked about how "he was a good man", "gave back to the community", "loved kids, even though he didn't have any", "fun to be around", and other things that one is supposed to say at a funeral. And that is when I started thinking....
What is someone going to say at my funeral? Who would be there? What would it be like? Do I really care?
When I got home, I told a friend of mine where I had been, and he gave his condolences. He told me that he thought the best thing someone could say at a funeral was that the person who had died left behind a good name. In other words, people respected them. For me personally, I don't want someone to have to try to fit my actions into "things you are supposed to say at a funeral." I don't want people to have to try real hard to think about what to say. What would someone say at your funeral? What would your funeral look like?

* Quirky Quotes

2009-09-04T15:06:00.003-04:00

Because I believe our readership (of which I now believe to be numbered near twenty!) is an intelligent group I will not tell you who gave me the following quote...

As we were driving along running errands today the back seat said...

"I've been thinking....Wouldn't it be great if everything were rainbows?"

Wouldn't it be great if we all saw the world that way?

Attention

2009-09-04T08:52:00.004-04:00

A couple of weeks ago Michelle and I were doing our thing on Sunday morning. This consisted of us leading our Kidzone Family Production, teaching the college aged, and then teaching the children's worship during our congregation's normal worship time. In general, this is a normal Sunday morning for us.

I guess I need to fill in with a little background information:
1) Our congregation was doing something a little different for 4 consecutive weeks where instead of meeting in the auditorium, we met together in our fellowship hall. We sat at our round tables, singing, praying, discussing, taking communion, listening to the sermon.
2) I just got back from a 2 week stint in China. I was a little foggy in the head....
3) We did not have all the multimedia that we usually do for children's worship.

Anyway, back to the story. Michelle and I are setting up for the kids to come back. I am focused on amping the teens up, so that they are good examples for the kids: "this is a ministry. don't be texting, sleeping, etc. focus on the kids. Even when it looks like they are ignoring you, they still look at you and think, 'that is what I am supposed to do when I am a teenager'". Michelle was getting her notes together, music files in order, and power point slides together. All of a sudden, the kids start rolling in. Needless to say, we were caught off guard. Why so soon?

A little more background: usually, we teach the children for about 30-40 minutes during our congregational worship. This particular Sunday, we had them for over an hour. It seems the worship minister, in his attempt to try to get other families to sit together decided to send the kiddies our way at the beginning of our worship service, so that there would be space for multiple families at one table. In other words, big families (multiple kids) can easily take up one table. When it is announced for the kids to go to children's worship, the kids stand up and leave, and then the parents are sitting by themselves at these very big tables. Don't get me wrong: I think this was an excellent idea. It just seems that we may have been victims of a series of unfortunate events.

Needless to say, that was a very long Sunday morning. We didn't have the proper media stuff, so we ended up doing a lot of things multiple times. I got frustrated for it taking so long (what time zone was I in anyway???). The teens were not to thrilled as well (when are we leaving to go eat???!!!). The kids could feel the tension, and they began to spiral into a state of disorder. And that got me thinking..... What is it about attention that it drives our lives so strongly?

We stand in lines for hours to see the next blockbuster hit. Movies these days go for 2.5 hours usually. We take our kids to practice. I hear the coach say, "focus!" We read books for hours at a time. We can surf the web for what it seems like days. Facebook stalking is quickly becoming a fine art. But we can easily blow a gasket when the download speed isn't mach 3. I found out last night that my cable service has a feature that lets me watch 8 football games at the same time, for free. I take my wife to a really nice restaurant and the hostess says, "it will be about 45 minutes", and I think to myself, "that's not too long...." However, I stand in line at chic-fil-a for more than 5 minutes and its like I am going to lose my religion!

Attention is very powerful. Let me explain. What we are attentive to, is where we are going to gravitate to. If you like movies, then you will set your calendar around when the blockbusters are coming out. If you love football, then you will plan your wedding (and others for that matter) around home games. if you enjoy eating out, then waiting in line for a considerable period of time for a good meal seems OK. If you are a workaholic, then sacrificing time with your family is part of providing for them. What we give our attention to, or what grabs our attention, is what is going to drive us in a particular direction.

But for some reason, I have to work at giving God my attention. I don't see myself standing in line for sermons. I don't find myself waiting in line for the next update of the NIV. Seriously. We don't have a waiting list for volunteers in our benevolence program. We have to "market" church ministries. Again, attention is a powerful thing. We decide what we are going to give our attention to.

Michelle and I have chosen to work with the children at our congregation for an indefinite period of time. This means we don't get a lot of worship services. And I'll be honest, that's OK with me right now. But at any given Saturday evening, after the kids have gone to bed, you will find us sitting in the floor of our living room listening to a podcast given by some ministry leader. While we are listening, we are editing slides for our skits the next morning, organizing media material for children's worship, or writing notes for our college class. We have forced ourselves to take in the gospel in the way that works for us presently. And let me say, I love it. A great friend of mine talks about something very similar while he drove to work the other day.

Because of our schedule, Michelle and I are finding ourselves teaching our kids while we drive down the road. We are seeing opportunities more clearly to interact with our kids with real world, up to the minute events instead of putting things off until Sunday to answer their questions. My little girl wants to know why she can feel the wind but not see it..... Discussions about bugs, turtles, pink ponys, princesses, and bionicle wars don't frustrate me. I am starting to look forward to the time right after I yell, "bedtime!" when I sit in my son's bed. Its at this point that he starts talking about God, asking me questions about stars and planets, what does "cool" mean, what does "hell" mean How does God see everything when we are on one side of the world and others are on the other side of it? I am finding I am more patient when my little girl asks if she can help hold the garbage bag while I put the cut grass into it.

What is it that is grabbing your attention right now? What would it take for you to give your attention to God? Or Give your attention to someone else in a Godly manner? What form would it look like? Maybe its more sermons, a new bible, joining a bible study on Mondays, closing your office door at lunch, learning to download podcasts to your ipod, choosing to eat lunch with someone you respect once a week, waking up an hour early, going to bed an hour early....

Right now, Michelle and I have found something that seems to work for us presently. I can't really put my finger on what "it" is, but I know that "it" is working. I am sure it will change over time. I am not concerned about it changing, as long as my attention is focused on God.

* Sustaining

2009-09-02T09:14:00.002-04:00

This past month has been an extra specially large dose of new beginnings. New grade in school for the youngest boy in the house, a new job for the oldest boy, the kickoff for our KidZone program, , a new (small) job for mom at the church preschool, new service projects for the college ministry...

All that excitement for something new has been percolating in and out of our days. The boys were so pumped about their first days, the college kids were at dinner last night and talked with such intelligence and fire about their upcoming days with the inner city church, we have had tons of planning for KidZone (I even tie dyed for the first time last week with another mom who has been so instrumental in our awesome new sets) NEW, NEW, NEW.

In my numbery way I was looking at the history of our blog posts. (Although I restrained from actually counting mine vs Judah's) I noticed that in our first few months we averaged in the low to mid teens in posts, generally three a week. You will note that we are now at half that number. Where did all the excitement go? Surely I still have something interesting to add? Profound words to throw out to the Internet? Adorable anecdotes that highlight the clear supremacy of my children's preciousness over everyone else's?

Alas, the blog is suffering from what school suffers from in March, April & May. A waning of excitement/enthusiasm. A lack of a sustainable source of energy. (Although I will point out that other blogs that I love have been known to go months without posting - you know who you are- so if I judged myself based on the performance of others I would still be alright) When I noticed the numbers I was struck by the difference - I did not however analyze them to see if the change was statistically significant. I left statistics behind in college and have happily never looked back - let Judah play with the numbers - that boy can chart anything.

I began to think about what school, jobs, service, and ministry was going to look like in a few months when the excitement wears off and the energy must come from a sustainable source, not adrenaline. Although I can not speak for my son's energy source for school I did make a conscious choice to be aware of where I was getting my energy to sustain those things I care about.

Am I running on pride, or sense of accomplishment? Those will not carry me as far as love and submission to the will of The One who laid the path. Submission and sacrificial love are not glamorous and not likely to boost the adrenaline like a nice dose of personal glory will, but I am thinking they will carry me farther in the long term. And while I am sure I will mess up - A LOT - I am now going to consciously think of the sustainable energy sources I am using to get through my days.

What energy sources are you using in your day?

* So Long to the Caseys

2009-08-26T16:26:00.002-04:00

There are so many things percolating in my brain right now and things I want to say but my time this afternoon is limited and there is a lot of snubby floating around in my sinuses, blocking coherent thoughts processes. So I will make this quick.

The Caseys are dead and gone.

The princess has not noticed yet and I am a chicken and haven't told her.

Some may wonder who the Caseys are. About a year ago some friends gave us (actually they gave it to our daughter - a sneaky trick to run around the parents) a fish tank and suddenly we were pet owners. We had avoided pets for many reasons - not because we are evil but because we are mobile. Pets require care and we are on the go quite a bit and I didn't want to always be looking for someone to feed the dog/cat/hamster while we ran to grandmas. So now we had fish. I killed Chester within two days - a beautiful beta fish that apparently couldn't stand our family. In my hysteria of killing Chester Judah drove to the pet store and returned with two "harder-to-kill" fish - I think they may have been guppies. We allowed the princess to name these fish - she labeled the first one 'Casey' which was cute and when we asked her for another name she replied 'Casey'. Really? You want them both to have the same name? YES. So we had two identical fish with the same name in our tank. No confusion there.

An interesting side note - we have a precious older couple at our church with the last name of Casey, so I entertained myself a great deal with the notion that the Caseys lived in our fish tank.

Judah was told that these 'harder-to-kill' fish would live a year or two. Well not to skew the bell curve they lived almost precisely a year and died seemingly within a day of each other. The Caseys are gone.

Did I mention that we still have one other fish? Originally purchased with Chester - one of the 'clean-your-tank' fish. Our daughter named him too - 'Hippo" I have no idea where the names come from. Hippo has now lost three tank mates in a year - he (or she for all I know) may be needing some therapy soon.

So long Caseys.

Plans

2009-08-20T08:56:00.003-04:00

Recently, I have been fixated on a story out of 1 Samuel. It’s the story of David and his mighty men, in the cave of Adullam. Here is a little background information. Saul has been trying to kill David, and David has been running from Saul. In chapter 24, Saul finds out that David is in the wilderness of En-gedi, and goes after him. At one point, Saul needs to take a potty break (you got to love the bible), and goes into a cave for some privacy. It just so happens that this is the same cave that David and his mighty men are hiding.
David’s men see this as a perfect opportunity to kill Saul and stop the running. To them, it makes perfect sense. Saul has been trying to kill David for so long. Obviously, God is providing an opportunity here. At one point, the men said, "This is the day the LORD spoke of when he said to you, 'I will give your enemy into your hands for you to deal with as you wish.' They truly believed this was God’s will. However, David wouldn’t kill him. He only went so far as to cut a piece of his robe off.
A little more history behind this story: Saul was anointed by God to be king over Israel. When he went against God, and didn’t do what God wanted, God rejected him, and had David anointed as the next king (See 1 Samuel 16 for this story). Saul then lost the blessing of God, by the Spirit leaving him (1 Samuel 16:14).
So, there are 2 men that have been anointed to be king. On the surface, it seems like the obvious choice is to kill Saul. He has been rejected by God. He has been trying to kill David (chosen by God). David has been anointed to be the next king. He has God’s blessing. Why doesn’t David kill him? To me, the answer is quite powerful. Saul is anointed by God as well. Even though he has been rejected by God for not doing his will, at one point he was anointed by God. He was the chosen one. You do not go against the chosen one. David knew this. Even though his (David) life may have been easier, even though he would have been “justified” in killing Saul (at least in the eyes of David’s men, and possibly even us today???), it would still have been going against God. Saul was still the chosen one.
I think we do that today. We get these wonderful plans in our head, and don’t understand why God doesn’t “magically” make them happen. We aren’t selfish in our ambitions. We want to help people. We have others’ best interest at heart. So why doesn’t God allow our plans to take off? We ask ourselves late at night when we can’t sleep, “why doesn’t God see this plan the way I do? It is so obvious! It would help so many people. My family would be safe! We would be provided for!” We forget sometimes that God has his own plan. It may not make any sense at the time, but He has a reason for everything that He does. We get these great ideas in our head, and then get frustrated when our plans, that have no ulterior motive, won’t take off.
David could have killed Saul. He would have been king that way. But, I believe killing God’s anointed would have started a snowball effect of situations in David’s life that would have made the Bathsheba incident look like a Saturday morning cartoon series. Later on, I will write on what anointed means, and how it relates to us today as Christians.
We have to learn to listen to God. We have to learn to trust that He knows what he is doing. And, we have to learn to not step into His business. We do not know as much as He does. We cannot possibly know what is best, and think we are going to show God what the correct decision to do is.
Start listening for God. God speaks to us through other people. Don’t ignore people that may be questioning your judgment. Reflect on key events that may have prevented your plan from happening, even when the execution “was flawless”. Maybe that is God trying to quietly tell you, “not so fast.” Take time to just sit in silence for a period of time. Try not to convince God of your plans. He already knows what they are. Start asking God, “What is it you want me to do with my life? Why did you create me? Do my present plans go against your will?” We should be asking God for wisdom to know what He wants us to do. We should be asking Him to help us see when our plans conflict with His, and that He would give us the courage to change direction when conflicts arise.
We have to remember: God is God, and we are not.....

* A Day of Firsts

2009-08-17T09:13:00.003-04:00

Along with many families in our area this morning we packed the first lunch of the school year. Apparently I had not recently shopped for school snacks so my son will trudge through his first day with less than stellar items. I was able to put in a ziploc of fresh grapes so I don't feel too bad. Besides his favorite part is the overpriced water bottle he conned out of his dad when Judah's boy instinct over rode his budgeting philosophy.

In preparation of this day my son slept in his clothes. Why? - in order to not be late. I tried to tell him that he still had to wait on his mom to get dressed but my point was not strong enough. He finally took the shirt off for temperature and comfort reasons when he found himself still awake at 11:30.

School shopping was a fun activity. Judah got to go with us since after his exit interview Friday he suddenly had no more work to do. So we all wandered through Target where we learned that everyone was out of wide ruled paper, but that dad was an easy mark for cool new water bottles. Last night we packed his bag - not a back pack this year. We recently bought some messenger bags as a gift and at that time my son decided he needed one also. Due to the leftover theory his selection was small but we settled on a black one, which is always cool. The new bag style will hopefully prolong its life. Last year's bag was a wheeled back pack which was drug everywhere and multiple holes rendered it useless by the end of the year. Holding a bag will shake up the first day of school photo which has included the wheeled backpack style the past two years.

The big boy in the house also is having a big first day. A new job that doesn't send him to China! We did not do any shopping in preparation for his first day - sad really. Anticipation was a palpable thing in our home yesterday. Judah didn't seem to sleep well either and was up early. Although I asked , he didn't feel that taking his picture was necessary.

* Summer Summary

2009-08-13T09:37:00.002-04:00

School is around the corner. We are going to school today to see the classroom. First day is Monday. Sadly we have not gone to get school supplies yet. Payday is tomorrow so it did not align with the tax free weekend. My son will have to choose from leftovers. On the bright side we did not fight the crowds and will shop in relative emptiness in the morning. Sometimes too many choices causes children's brains to explode. I am slightly excited about the shopping as those who have been following loyally for the last year will know from my post about this time in 2008. I have come to realization that summer is over and it is time to assess whether I feel like I wasted it or not. Summer seems like a poor thing to waste. Waste asparagus not summer. What did we do this summer?

We had a schedule! While we did not follow it terribly well, my son did enjoy hiding it from me. Behind the speakers, behind the poker table.... Even though we did not follow it perfectly it did establish daily reading for my son who is now on the seventh book in the magic tree house series. Since they are numbered there is no way we can read them out of order. Whose son is that? :) Money bingo has also helped with our change counting. Good times! The schedule also helped me be proactive with my daughters learning. She has not yet gone to preschool since I am at home all the time and it is not an expense we want to add to the budget. So we have been working on her letter recognition. I had wanted to have the alphabet completed this summer but we are about 4-5 letters shy. Strangely we get stuck on the oddest ones, K/N/S. She has moved past K and N but S is the current stickler. She can pick all letters out if I ask her to find the 's' in a row of cards but if just asked to name it we are not yet 100%. But I can say we made measurable progress from the ~6 she could do when we started.
We went to the beach for a week with my family. A new activity and fun for all. Tons of pictures - later scrapbook overload. I have never been one of those folks who go to the beach every summer for a week, but I seem to have known several and this year I could casually say "oh that is the week we will be at the beach" and people would respond "oh we are going in July" or " oh really we are going the next week."
Judah went to China - a lot. This would probably be where we felt like the summer was wasted. With daddy gone for 6 weeks of summer we missed a lot of time at the lake. We have probably been out on the jet skis 3 times since we de-winterized them. Blgh.
The nieces came for a visit. I have a post for them so I won't repeat myself but it is good to keep the tradition going and have the little come for her first visit.
Lots of decorating time at the church. Weeks on VBS where I did one section all by myself for the first time. I will not get too depressed by the fact that the gorilla tape did not hold and caused some mid week drama and quick repair. This past week has been full of creating new sets for KidZone. I will try to get a picture on here when they are completed.
Judah got a new job which he starts Monday. Yeah! This means no more China! Subsequently we decided to try to sell our house and move a bit closer to his new work location. So I spent two weeks cleaning the house out and scrubbing things. It looks great - still some things to do but we are advertising it anyway and working along the way. We have had several calls and one showing last weekend. We are in no true hurry but my kids will get tired of the "no eating on the couch because mom had the carpets cleaned" rule.
College service days - our college group is a blessing to us and we have really felt an increase in their "groupness." This summer they served each Thursday at the inner city church and on our final Thursday we could honestly say we felt like our time there was not wasted. I loved seeing my children interact with other children not quite similar in appearance - talk about contrast - I have terribly blond children and I praise God that their eyes are currently color blind. The world can creep into our vision all too soon and its view can be quite difficult to dislodge ( a reference perhaps to the plank in our eyes Jesus talks about in the Sermon on the Mount?). We have big plans for continued service with the college group this year and I am so proud of both them and my children.
Slight improvement on the family devotional time. Some weeks I really did well - others a total thumbs down. So overall I would give our improvement at a 15% increase from pre-summer levels. My statistical husband would probably like to see some hard numbers on that but I don't have any.
Fewer visits to the grandparents house this year - not sure how that happened. We did spend a week at the beach with grandparents but I am sure that doesn't count towards time at grandmom's house. Totally missed going to my grandmother's this summer which we have done for the past several years. However she was at my mom's twice when we saw her so we did still visit, just not at her home.
In order to get to the round number ten that I prefer we will now fill it with random things - like my son losing three teeth this summer and our garden being a flop after the eight squash I picked before the beach (apparently the week of the beach was hot and the teenager that watched the house was not the plant watering kind - the animals were fed though :) ). We went peach picking at the local fruit and berry patch which was awesome. Our friends from Memphis visited which was cool in many ways not least of which it meant I didn't drive to Memphis in the summer heat. Here's to the other thing that make summer the cool time that it is - sleeping late!

So long summer....

Cows

2009-08-07T12:04:00.001-04:00

The following, is a true story. Only the names have been changed to protect the innocent….

Ken and John were out riding 4-wheelers on their friend’s farm. They loved riding 4-wheelers. It was an experience that they had not enjoyed before. Their friend had a farm that was close to 300 acres. The acreage comprised of large open fields, rolling hills, creeks, and wooded areas that was full of all kinds of wild life. They saw deer, turkey, all kinds of birds, as well as livestock. It was a wonderful, quiet place, where one could clear ones mind.

On this farm, their friend had about 50 head of cattle that he raised for beef. During Ken and John’s ATV ride, they came across the cattle, and Ken was quite surprised as he had never been that close to cows before. At one point in their exploration they noticed one of the herd was standing right in the middle of the trail they were driving on.

“Wow, look at the size of that cow,” Ken said. “I didn’t know cows got that big!”

“That’s not a cow, Ken. It’s a bull,” John responded.

“A bull?! But it doesn’t have any horns…” Ken said, somewhat questioning.

“Not all bulls have horns. Besides, you don’t look at the horns to tell if it is bull.”

“How do you know it is a bull? What do you look at?”

“The massive #*#* he has!”

Chinese Buffets and Health Care

2009-08-04T09:39:00.001-04:00

Last night, Michelle and I decided to treat the kids to some Chinese food. We noticed there was a new restaurant open, and thought we would give it a shot. The kids love going to the buffet, as they get to pick what they want to eat. We like it, because we can usually guide them to acceptable vegetables and fruits, while they still get to pick on their own.

Well, I made a rookie mistake. As we walked in, I noticed no prices posted. My gut was telling me something was eschew, as the very friendly hostess guided us to our seats. Anyway, I didn’t ask what the cost was, and I got distracted with the new look, clean appearance, and amazing lack of people in the establishment. They also had CNN playing on all the TVs: something else that should have given it away.

The buffet was your typical Chinese buffet: sesame chicken, Mongolian beef, pepper chicken, noodles, rice, garlic green beans, broccoli, those huge grapes with the seeds in them, etc. It wasn’t a huge selection, but one could easily get enough to eat. It also had a sushi buffet. Most Chinese buffets that we have gone to in the past, have a sushi bar that is separate from the buffet. If you want to have sushi, you have to order it separately from the buffet. The more I looked at it, the more I thought, “this is really nice. There is a lot to choose from.” However, the lack of people at prime eating time was still bothering me. I mean, come on: we are in the south! Southerners like their all you can eat Chinese buffet!

I got back to our booth and started talking to Michelle about how things just weren’t right. I told her, “this bill is going to be outrageous. We should have asked what the price was. Did you notice they don’t have any prices posted? Where are all the people, because this is really good food.” She agreed. Things just didn’t seem right.

Michelle and I started talking about how is it they could afford such a nice spread, with sushi and a hibachi grill, and hardly any clientele. You just don’t get things for free. And that is when it hit me: This situation reminds me a lot like what is going on with this ridiculous debate about the government wanting to provide, excuse me, force everyone in America to have healthcare. Let me explain.

The buffet choices, clean restaurant, and amazingly friendly staff is like the government (president or senators) getting in front the cameras everyday explaining how great this program is, and all the different benefits that will be available to the customers (Americans). Its kind of like smoke and mirrors in a magic show.

The buffet, specifically, is the “basic health care” that everyone keeps talking about. No one, has yet to explain to me what “basic health care” is to a point that makes any sense. Any way, the buffet allows you to eat and be somewhat nourished, to a certain extent, because it is based solely on what is provided. Let’s not forget that Chinese buffets offer pretty much the same things. It doesn’t matter what part of this country you are in (excluding places like “China towns” in San Francisco and New York).

The sushi buffet represents the unique health care programs that most people just don’t need, or even want to select. This is great stuff, but there are a lot of people that just don’t need it (or in the specific case of sushi, like it! Yuck!). Some people will want it (or need it), but these people are by far a very small minority. A good example of this situation is the following: I over heard a woman tell one of the sushi chefs, “This is really fascinating! I can’t believe you provide sushi. Oh, I don’t want to try it! I can’t see myself actually eating raw fish!” In other words, she was really surprised, but appreciative that they offered sushi. Unfortunately, she would eventually find out that she paid for it, even though she didn’t order or eat it!

As we were leaving I noticed one of the cooks, from the Chinese buffet, leaving a restaurant a couple of shops down; a sandwich shop. This represents the president and congress who have their own ridiculously “great” health care, but have told the public on numerous occasions that they were not going to participate in the program that they were trying to push through congress like a watermelon through a play-do strainer. Now, you might be quick to say something like, “how can you compare their amazing healthcare to a sandwich shop? Isn’t that a step down?” Well, you have to go back to the original analogy, and remember we are talking about a cost to choice ratio. A sandwich shop is very cheap (in comparison), you are provided what you need, you get to choose what you want, and you have some extras to spice it up a little bit (like those chocolate chip cookies that come right out of the oven! Man, those are tasty!).

And finally, the cost: After we ate, our fears were solidified when we got the bill. It was almost 60 dollars! I was completely blown away, but at the same time expecting it. I not only paid for my General Chou’s chicken, but for the fifty thousand varities of exotic sushi that they offered and I didn't actually eat myself. Of course, it was my own fault. I should have asked for the price and didn’t. That’s what I get.

And that is what America is doing right now. People are beginning to wake up to the fact that the choices for health care under a government plan are severely lacking. Along with that, there is a group of the population that actually does take care of themselves, eats right, exercises, doesn’t smoke, doesn’t drink alcohol excessively, and in general lives a good life style (no sexually transmitted diseases). People are beginning to question their congressmen about this ridiculous plan that will bankrupt our society, as well as, create a situation where someone else will be dictating what care we, as a society, can have (we will provide you sesame chicken, but not sweet and sour pork). For the vast majority of the population, we will pay for programs, prescriptions, and treatment for things that we will never need in our life time. We will pay for sushi we will never eat.

I want to make it clear that I do support some type of “basic health care” for those who can not take care of themselves. That might seem hypocritical, but it isn’t. My beef, is with the government thinking they have the answer to everything by “spreading the love” to everyone, to support a minor few. We should provide care for homeless, orphans, disabled, etc. But this is not something that is the right of the government to provide. There are numerous communities throughout our country that are already doing similar things on their own accord, by pooling money and providing it to those that need it. The government needs to get out of the healthcare, and the welfare business.

Now, you might be tempted to say something like, “well doesn’t the government’s plan pool resources like the communities you are talking about?” My answer to that would be something like, “you don’t rob someone to give to someone else.” What I mean by that is, the government’s plan essentially forces workers who pay taxes to support those who don’t pay taxes. It will be illegal for someone to not be a part of this program. Some of you may disagree, but there is a huge difference between forcing me to pay for a program and me choosing to support a program on my own.

Well, the analogy of the Chinese buffet and government health care may not be exact, but it is definitely interesting. So, what are your thoughts? Does everyone have a right to basic health care? What does that mean? Is it the government’s responsibility to take care of those who can not take care of themselves? If so, when did that change? Why doesn’t the church and family members provide for those people?

When are we going to stop relying on the government and take responsibility for our selves?

* Nieces

2009-07-28T22:12:00.003-04:00

We spent the last week hosting my two nieces. We have hosted the eldest for the last two summers and this year the youngest made her first appearance. We had a wonderful visit, no injuries and everyone retreated to their separate homes still happy with one another. The timing for a visit to be over is critical. You never want it to last too long that someone is miserable, no matter how much fun the first days are you only remember the sadness of the final one. This was something we watched closely since my little niece was so young. Fortunately there were tons of new toys to investigate along with two elder cousins and a big sister to keep up with. We timed her return to mom perfectly, another 24 hours would probably been too much and she was quite sure she did not want to go back home with me when she met her mom for lunch on Sunday. I thought I would share what I learned this week...

Apparently we had been using some things that did not belong to us. Without our knowledge we had inadvertently been using all my youngest nieces possessions. This she was quick to point out when we picked up an item. "Mine" Imagine the surprise my children had when they discovered the toys were not actually theirs but rather the property of an almost two year old that lives 100 miles away.
Seven year olds make great baby sitters. For those who thought I would have a hard time with four children on my own - you needed not fear. My seven year old assistant did much of the labor and I was only called upon for food, which occurred several times a day. I would offer to do some things only to be told by the smallest member of the group that De-De would do it - more bon bons for me.
Prayers for 4 children takes logarithmically more time than 1 or 2 especially if you go in a round. Each will take progressively more time in order to bless more obscure relatives than the last, except for the boy who will quickly utter a two sentence ditty to speed things along and the youngest girl who says nothing but clasps her hands in an adorable fashion and says A-men when cued. So I guess it really is the two middle girls who prayed the most and it just seemed like tons of kids. Believe me if you are even distantly related to us - you are covered.
In a house with three princesses the middle one will have the hardest time of it. The eldest will rest in her eldest status and mentally grasp the need to let the little ones occasionally take the lead. The youngest still lives in a world where everything is hers and does not know the cold reality of the world yet. The youngest will have things given to her by the prince of the house by virtue of her being small and just because "she asked for it." This means that sometimes the item in question will be removed from the hands of the middle princess who finds it all very confusing because in her day to day world she is the smallest and is used to ruling her kingdom without sharing the thrown. Unhappy moments were rare, and they all got their fair share but the middle princess seemed the most thrown off by the process.
My extended family has good genes. If my beauty was based solely on the beauty of my children I would have no self esteem issues. They are beautiful and this is something that others tell me in an honest way so I feel it to be true. My sisters children are beautiful, they also happen to look a lot like mine (so I know the people in the grocery store this week had to be thinking that poor woman, doesn't she know any better? Or maybe she is one of those people?) So therefore my family has good genes - just ask my mom to show pictures of all her grandchildren- the proof is in the photos.
My nuclear family has good but short genes. My eldest niece is two years younger than my son, and they are the same height! My daughter is only 18 months younger than her but could more easily fit into the clothes of my youngest niece. This is unfortunate because that means that my hand me down supply will dry up eventually - when the little one catches up to her - my prediction is one year from now. Oh well.
Stair stepping children is a handy way to go about it. I won't name any names but I know some people whom God chose to bless with having their kids in a chunk - efficient, but without the eldest child to run and fetch what the little one needs while you are cooking or to pick up the toy in the back seat while you are driving. In this regards four children in a house is not that overwhelming, at other times four is still four.
The most challenging item to keep track of with four children is shoes. My children are trained on the shoe basket so we can usually round up something passable from there if we can't find the exact pair we are looking for. My nieces were not familiar with it so we spent some time looking for shoes for the first couple days - then we stumbled on a solution, which works for my kids most of the time as well. We just left all the shoes in the car - they weren't needed in the house anyway. My son has at times relied on this shoe-in-the-car theory on our way to somewhere, church/Lowe's/grocery only to discover that dad had cleaned out the car and now he has to ride in the buggy because he certainly can't walk around the store with bare feet.
I stay up later with four children in the house. After my kids go to bed we generally stay up another 2-3 hours. Good quiet time together or just time for no-one-sitting-pulling-laying -on me. Add two more children and it seems I need another hour to wind down, read, watch tv, check email, work on children's ministry stuff, etc. This is unfortunate because my nieces get up earlier than my children, although I made good progress and we did not see the flip side of seven once and were working our way to eight. Not to go too extreme because they were going home and I won't win any points if they start staying up late after visiting Chelle's house.
You knew I had to get to ten right? I got stuck around three and couldn't think of what I was going to write the other day when I got distracted by the 100, luckily it came back to me. However it has tapered off again. I will say I was blessed by this week. I love that I get to be with my children so much, in a world where there are many who want to but can not. I am sooooooo thankful. In that vein I am very grateful that I can spend some time with my nieces and give them a special time. Family is so important, especially in this transient fast food world. I want them to know me and know that I love them. I want their week each summer to be something they look forward to. And when they no longer think I am cool and roll their eyes at the thought of coming to Chelle's house where there is 'learning time' they will know that I love them, even if they remain home and hang out with their friends who will be infinitely more fun that I will be at that time.

Blessings to you girls.

Reading List

2009-07-28T08:40:00.002-04:00

Judah is still blocked from the blog and has sent another post for me to paste - The copy paste function is being uncooperative and it appears I am going to have to retype it. Suddenly I am not so thrilled with the length of his thoughts.....

This summer has seen me in China quite a bit. I think I spent most of June and July (except for one week) over here. When I finally get back from this current trip, I will have spent 60 days of 2009 over here! Needless to say, I read a lot while I am here. I also listen to a lot of podcasts. I finally found a DVD store (they had closed the other one we went to), so I am able to watch movies periodically. Anyway, below, is a summary of the books I have read while over here.

1) "Seven Habits of Effective Ministry" A. Stanley, L Jones,, and R Joiner. This is an excellent church leadership resource. If you are looking to turn your 'good ministry' into a 'great ministry,' this is an excellent book to help. Andy points out "your ministry is perfectly designed for the results you are getting." This shows a much simpler and effective approach to ministry. The basic theme throughout the book is, "what is the win?" If you can define the win in any situation, you are half way there. Give it a shot.

2) "Essential Church? Reclaiming a Generation of Dropouts" T Rainer and S Rainer. This book tries to answer the question "why do so many young adults(18-22) leave the church?" The Rainers us a lot of statistics to support their claims - if at times applied fairly loosely. The numbers are quite scary - 80%. The book reviews some of the concepts in Thom Rainers previous effort "Simple Church" which was a good (if repetitive) book. There are some new graphs in this book, but overall not as informative as "Simple Church." The concept that young adults need to have a place in the church I agree with, but the idea that we need to concentrate on them at this point I tend to disagree with. If you haven't established the connection and relevance before 18, it is a poor time to start.

3) "Principle of the Path" A Stanley. I absolutely loved this book. In fact, I am going to be doing a book study with our college class about this topic on Sundays for a few weeks. Andy discusses the question "Why do so many smart people make such stupid decisions?" He does a really good job of describing how we can justify huge mistakes. He offers this prayer "Lord, help me to see danger before it gets upon me. Give me wisdom to know what to do, and the courage to make the right decision." Bottom line: Direction, not intention, leads to destination.

4) "Irresistible Revolution: Living as an Ordinary Radical" S. Claiborne. This book is mostly a compilation of Shane's exploits during college and a few years after. He spent time working with Mother Theresa at a leper colony in Calcutta, worked/lived with homeless people in Philadelphia, went to Iraq to protest the war, and many other things in the name of Jesus. He is one of the founding members of The Simple Way, a community in Philadelphia that tries to show Jesus to as many people as possible, in as simple a way as they can. He has some excellent points, but I disagree with his presentation at times, it can be a bit rough. I can sometimes hear a tone of "if you don't do it this way, what's wrong with you?" He has some issues with capitalism, but does mention a few rich people doing amazing things. I personally feel that the next mission field in the next few years will be to the rich. Imagine what we can do to poverty when the 20% who control 80% of the world's money decide to start spending it the way they believe Jesus would? I don't think capitalism is the issue, its the people and their intention for the decisions they make.

5) "The Drunkards Walk: How Randomness Rules Our Lives" L Mlodinow. If you are not into statistics, don't bother with this book. However, this is a very entertaining read. It gives a brief history from basic math, probability, and statistics. The author shows how basic probability and statistics can be used in our daily lives, and how we sometimes use these concepts to prove things that are not true. He points out that our brains are wired to see patterns, even when there are no patterns to see. Just knowing this concept can be extremely helpful with deciphering information.

I also read through Lamentations on my previous trip. Take my advice, never read the book by yourself in a hotel room away from all your family and friends.

Proverbs has to be my old standby when I am traveling. I read through it quite frequently. I also try to read through the Sermon on the Mount and at least one of Paul's letters, usually Romans, especially chapter 8.

During this trip I learned how to covert some of my DVDs to a format that I can load onto my Ipod. I have a video of Rob Bells' talk "Everything is Spiritual" He does a good job of showing how God is present in all things. This is a must watch.

And finally I listen to podcasts. The three I listen to the most are 1) Mars Hill Bible Church, 2) North Point Ministries:Andy Stanley, and 3) Southeast Christian Church, Louisville, KY

There are a lot of other things I do while here. If Michelle hasn't posted the pictures of me climbing Washan Mountain, I will do that when I get back. But for this post I though t the book list was appropriate.

So what are you reading?

*100

2009-07-26T17:47:00.003-04:00

Alright - I had planned a post on our week. We have spent several days hosting our nieces. I believe all had a good time and both girls were happy to see mom and dad again today.

I had planned to post on the week, but then I noticed that this was the 100th post! Not that my nieces aren't worth such a cool number, but I got so distracted by the round numberness of it that I couldn't help but comment on that instead!

I have refrained from counting the number of posts of mine versus Judah, but wouldn't that make for another cool number?!? I haven't because if it is not currently a cool number it would semi- ruin the coolness of this being 100. I mean 100 and 37 do not go together. Sigh. However I am super excited that I got the 100 and not Judah - he loves me, he'll understand. :)

Wishing you a very round numbery day!

* Quirky Quotes

2009-07-18T09:48:00.002-04:00

I must say I love this comment from my son. When is sarcasm a developmental level?

We spent a long day cleaning and moving stuff out of our house, since we have been thinking of getting another house and I needed something to do while Judah is in China. :)

So after this long day of work I decided that we deserved McDonald's. Mostly I deserved McDonald's but the kids had been terribly tolerant of my activity.

Apparently McDonald's has jumped on the Angus beef bandwagon and they opened the drive through question with the offer that I order the new burger. I declined, being someone who rarely changes their menu choice. At the window the manager brought the subject back up. "Have you tried the new Angus burger?" "No, well then you should it is great!" In order to have a shorter conversation with the man I promised I would next time.

As we are leaving my son asked what that was all about. I said they have something new on the menu they want folks to try. What was the new thing he wanted to know. A hamburger I replied...

"That's original"

I'm lovin' it.

* Memory of Feeling

2009-07-13T12:12:00.004-04:00

A comment on the household today. We took dad to the airport this morning at 4:15 and subsequently our time is thrown way off. The kids went back to sleep but did not get up until 9 and 9:30. This would normally be awesome, because I have worked hard to teach them to sleep like their mom. But since I was also up for an hour driving before 5 am I did not sleep well after and have woken up quite fuddled. We are functioning tolerably well and the kids are having bonus fun because mom is allowing the tent to go up, a treat I don't do much due to effects of the play scenarios trickling toys everywhere. The tent is upstairs this time and I am liking the effects already. Unfortunately the tent is on its last leg. It was not made to be jumped on repeatedly and the fiberglass supports are beginning to shatter. So to the tent manufacturers out there, you need to add another stress test to your quality standards before production on a grand scale. My four year old can take out your equipment in no time flat, that is a sad statement.

That update was not the point of this entry but as I said I am fuddled today. I wanted to comment on something before I forgot. I can't tell you how many things I forget to write about. If you guys could only hear what I don't say I would seem way more clever but that hardly ever happens so the cleverness level is low. On a lighter note the folks that do follow this aren't expecting much and are often entertained with a basic description of the general randomness that happens in a day (reference the tent coverage above).

Some days ago we had friends over and as often happens when folks are in your home, accidents happen - never to your own children always theirs, making your home seem a natural disaster waiting to happen. This leaves you feeling like you can not in good conscience invite people over so much. Anyway... The second accident merits mentioning only in the amount of blood, head wounds always bleed like crazy, increasing exponentially the drama of being whacked in the face which is dramatic enough. Luckily the object was only a woofle bat and not a 'real' one. The little trooper with the blood later commented beautifully when asked if he felt ok "I have tape on my eye."

The first injury is more memorable to me. Thankfully my children were not directly involved in this injury as in the second, it was merely a matter of architecture. Another little guy missed a step and took a dive down the last three or four steps landing on his face (and forearms praise GOD) From my seat at the table I got a perfect view of the event, yet too far to actually do anything about it, just watch. I am glad that I carry that memory with me and not his mom.

This experience sparked a connection to some very nerdy references. I thought of Data in Star Trek talking about his view of time as different from humans. Also the computer girl 'Jane' in the Ender's Game books comments on her perception of time. It is mildly entertaining to think that these comments about computer perception of time are actually made up by humans who have no clue, but it makes for fairly interesting Scifi. Anyway.... in these scifi worlds computers are able to perceive every moment of time that can make a second seem infinite, since they can compute so much so fast. We silly humans bumble along missing a lot.

When my friends son fell down the steps and then went about his day after some minutes of crying and a 'booboobear' from the freezer, I reflected on the moment. For what was probably only one second I felt the full force of emotions for that little guy breaking his neck. The fall looked bad. He landed on his face, his neck did not appreciate it. (I will point out that he did also land on forearms and hands to catch his fall and he weighs practically nothing which is helpful when falling - less weight equals less force) So now I have the memory of that split second, when the adrenaline said it was bad. Logic would remind me that kids fall all the time, and God in His wisdom put them closer to the ground with less weight and less solid bone structure for this very reason. Logic would remind me that their falls always look bad and they generally get up and move around without much ado. Logic doesn't speak in a split second - adrenaline and panic speak first and they say things like "that looks bad" "how are you going to live with yourself when your friends son has a permanent disability because he fell down your steps?" "you suck" That is quite a lot to say in less than a second.

So now I know how the scifi writers got their inspiration. Sitting at dinner Mr. Card (author of Ender's books) looked over in time to see a small child fly through the air and now has a memory that has more information and feeling in it than one second should logically contain. Light bulb goes off and suddenly 'Jane' has a monologue.

Is that not a lot for a one second event? Drama, small children, guilt, scifi reference, philosophy of time...all wrapped up in a little blog with a ten person readership :) I think a fitting closer would then be to bring in some 'Jane' Austin because what could be closer to scifi than that?

I wanted to remember this second of time because we do bumble along as humans and miss so much. This one I did not miss, but as Mr. Bennett says in P&P don't worry for me. It will pass soon enough ... and more quickly than it should. (Ha! )

* Software, not Hardware

2009-07-10T13:30:00.004-04:00

We have not been following the schedule much recently due to travel and VBS and Judah being home this week, see previous comments on June. We do follow it occasionally and today at lunch I said we would be doing our learning time later, as on the schedule. My son asked how I knew about learning time, wasn't the schedule missing off the refrigerator?

As a matter of fact the schedule has been missing for awhile, but I had given it no thought, since things spontaneously walk around the house all the time. It then occurred to me that maybe the paper did not spontaneously walk away but was rather kidnapped. So I asked my son if he knew where it was.

Insert classic little boy face - the one that says he knows something that he has not said and he is wondering if saying it will result in punishment or just a big laugh.

It turns out he does know the location of the paper, but was hoping that its absence would mean I would forget about the daily reading time. He still has much to learn about Mom's memory.

We will now be doing some learning and then later at two he will read, paper or not, because the schedule is software, not hardware.

* June Winds Down

2009-06-29T11:07:00.002-04:00

This is going to be a good week. We have recently come off a series of good weeks so I am hoping for the streak to continue. June has been a busy and productive time.

The first week we spent just wallowing in the summer concept with the schedule etc. (See previous post about schedule :) )

Week two Judah went to China but the kids and I spent a week doing VBS preparation. Much to the children's delight we went to the building daily so they could run around with the other children of the decorating folks. I got the pleasure of decorating a hallway to look life a rain forest jungle. I am quite over rolling paper into vines and the colors green and brown, which is sad because they are good colors.

The third week was VBS itself and much fun was had by all. I was promoted to five year olds from four year olds this year so I spent my days counting to nine, with the goal of not losing or having injury coming to anyone from the time of 8:30 until they got in their car around 12. Success!

For the fourth week we drove to the beach for fun in the sun with grandparents and cousins and aunts/uncles. The sad part is that I wore a two piece bathing suit for a week and my back is still horribly pale. I used to possess the ability to get a tan, but I guess I have not exposed my midriff in so long it has forgotten how to absorb the sun, those darn tankinis are to blame.

As June comes to a close we are counting the days until dad's return and looking forward to his being home with us for a while, ten days anyway. Stupid China. But he will be home this week so it is a good week. (On a side note, Judah has a birthday soon and our daughter was informing some of our college students that they could buy him a present "He likes sharp things" - HA! He now has his youngest child soliciting gifts for him :) )

Wishing you all a good week as June comes to a close...

A Man on Vacation

2009-06-16T21:17:00.002-04:00

Judah is apparently blocked from the blog during this trip to China. He has sent the following story from a recent podcast for me to post on his behalf. I found it quite thought provoking...

A man decided to go on a long trip one summer. Since he was going to be gone for so long, he decided to have one of his good friends watch his house while he was gone. The man wrote down instructions for watering plants, when to cut the grass, where the weed killer was and how to use it, how to work the air conditioner, how to run the dish washer, explained where the vacuum cleaner was, and various other instructions on how to keep the house in order.

The day finally came for the man to leave for the long vacation. When his friend showed up, the man handed him the instructions, showed him around the house, and said that the instructions would help him in taking care of the house. The friend agreed, and wished him on his way.

Some time later, the man returned from his vacation. When he got home, the first thing he noticed was that the yard was over grown. He thought this was strange, since one of the instructions he specifically mentioned was how to start and run the lawnmower. He got inside, and much to his surprise, noticed the house was a complete wreck. Dishes were all over the kitchen. Plants were dead. The carpet was disgusting - covered with stains, foot prints, and moldy food. The home was a complete mess!

He finally found his friend in the back yard, sitting on the deck enjoying a nice glass of tea, reading a book. The man asked his friend, “What happened here? Did you not read my instructions for taking care of my place?”
His friend responded, “Oh, yes. I did read the instructions. I read them over and over. I even highlighted parts that I thought were very important. You did a really good job on writing them, by the way.” He handed him the instructions, and the man could tell that they had been read thoroughly, with some points highlighted, underlined, and even notes that were written about some of the instructions.
“But my house is a wreck! You have done nothing that I have asked!” the man said, exasperated.
“But, I read your instructions, over and over. I even selected some as very important, and even put them to memory!” the friend responded.
The man was so angry. His house was a disaster. He turned to his friend and said, “Depart from me. I do not know who you are.”

The story is a reflection of our lives as Christians. God calls us to do more than know His Word. There is more to a life of Christianity than knowing verses out of the bible, memorizing key scriptures, or just plain reading the bible on a regular basis. We must take care of what God has entrusted us to. For each of us, it is different, but the bible is still applicable, no matter to what God has called us. We can not just sit around, reading the bible. Our lives must reflect a life that God would be proud of.

What is it that you have been entrusted with? What is it in your life that God has felt you can take care of? If He were come check on it, what would He find?

* Daily Schedule

2009-06-05T11:13:00.002-04:00

School is out for the summer, friends have come and gone. Suddenly the kids and I wake to find ourselves with days without purpose. An endless stretch of days answering the question "What are we going to do today?" seemed like a forgone conclusion. Not wanting to get to the end of the summer and wonder what we did with our free time, and definitely not wanting to answer the question everyday, the kids and I sat down at the table last week and made a schedule. A concept I dredged up from childhood - see previous references to my parents being list makers. Might I also say that they love schedules. My mom was particularly good at making schedules of things for my sister and I to do during the summer - many of them sounding like "clean the bathroom counter at ten o'clock." She was also a big believer in calling at nine o'clock to make sure we were up. Not wanting us to waste our day. Teenage memories of sleeping to eleven do not exist for me. She will be happy to know that her son-in-law now calls us daily around nine o'clock, knowing that the kids are up I guess he wants to make sure I am participating in their day as well :)

Not to pick on my inherited list making traits. They are well entrenched now, and most decidedly apparent in my children. Making the schedule was an entertaining process. First we made a list of things that we wanted on the schedule. My son was sure that TV, computer time, and food were needed. My daughter was sure that crafts were essential (I can't tell you how many art supplies she can use up in a sitting). Mom felt that nap and chores were also needed. I previously mentioned wanting to be more intentional about devotionals so I put that on the list too. My health conscious son then decided that a daily walk would be good for us all. It then occurred to me that as a home school mom I should ensure some focused learning-ish activity. Since my daughter has not been to preschool, and likely won't be due to budget constraints I should think about her learning something sometime too. :) So with this massive amount of stuff we made the following schedule:

8:00 TV time

9:00 Breakfast
9:30 Bible Time
10:00 Crafts

11:00 Walk
11:30 Lunch

12:30Learning

2:00 Nap (youngest)/Independent Reading (eldest)

3:00 Chores (eldest)

4:00 TV/Computer time/Snack

5:00 Wait for dad to come home...........

The blanks are free time, because I can promise we do not do learning for 90 minutes:) This schedule is quite full, but has given the little ones a sense of peace. It is posted on the fridge and they can run to it at any time to see what is next. It has helped me avoid several questions of "what can we do now?" Do we follow it every day - goodness no. But we have followed it often enough. I learned today that I can make it fluid as well without causing a panic to my scheduled son. The Bible, craft and learning were all done in one big blob. He had to write out some verses which we labeled 'handwriting' for the learning part, the verses are obviously the Bible part. We then cut some of them up into "puzzles" for crafts. I got out of the walk due to the wet, but it is getting on towards lunch time so I must move to the kitchen, because it is on the schedule after all.

Summer Activities

2009-06-04T08:57:00.002-04:00

Summer has brought on some new responsibilities for Michelle and myself this year. Recently, we officially were charged with leading the college ministry at Farragut. Since the college kids are back home for the summer, we have begun filling our calendar with all kinds of events.

A little bit of background on my belief, before getting into the specifics of what we will be doing throughout the summer.

A few years ago I started focusing on why a lot of high school kids "drop out" of church once they graduate. It was something that really puzzled me. I would witness teens raised in strong Christian based homes, walk away from church almost as soon as they were off to college. The statistics are astounding: almost 90% of high school graduates stop going to church within a year of graduating high school. This really bothered me. How can we (the church) keep these teens/young adults interested in church?

After a long period of research, it seems the common denominator is involvement. From what I understand, this period (teen to adult) needs to feel needed, busy, involved. In general, young adults no longer want to be fed (classes on Sundays, tailored for them). However, they still need someone to create the activities, and just have them show up. They want to do things, they just don't want to exert the energy to organize it.

The group that Michelle and I have been charged with are a great group of young adults that love to serve. It makes our job a lot easier, because they are such good kids (college aged :)).

Activities
Our primary activity this year has been working with the inner city church, Central CoC in Knoxville. We take a group of college aged every week to work with the kids and teenagers associated with the church there, as well as, the surrounding area. Mostly, the college aged just play and hang out with the kids. But they also teach bible classes periodically, lead games, clean around the building, etc. Whatever is needed, that is what will be done.

The college aged are also heavily involved in our Kidzone production on Sunday mornings. Kidzone is our way of doing Sunday bible school. We have a Family Production time for about 30 minutes (picture a "Carol Burnett Show type of production, with hosts, skits, music, sound effects, etc.), small groups, and children's worship during our normal worship. We have college aged that participate in all aspects of these elements, from actors, to technology operators. The amazing thing, is watching the young children interact with the college aged. 3rd and 4th graders tend to be "too cool" for a lot of the things associated with Kidzone, but the college aged have really helped with showing them to listen, be involved, and not be distracting to others. The college aged are some of our based role models for our kids.

On Sunday mornings, Michelle and I teach a class for the college aged as well. This is a brief, 20 - 25 minute class, that we have simply labeled, "What is the Best Question Ever?" We decided to drop the, "different topic every week" approach, and focus on one thing for the entire summer. In this class we look at what is the wise thing to do in all kinds of different scenarios. In a lot of situations, it is going to be different for each individual. This is where the really good discussions start kicking in. This question (what is the wise thing to do?) is also how I usually approach each of them when they are asking for advice. The point, is keep the focus on doing what God says, in all situations.

Sunday nights also find us doing a book study. We created this book study for multiple reasons. One, they all like books. It helps to build responsibility, because they each had to go find the book, purchase it, read it, and bring it with them. And finally it is an environment where they can feel comfortable inviting their friends. I have also taking the liberty of using this time for some of them to lead the group through the night's discussion. It is just another way of helping them with their leadership skills.

Our current book is "Radical Reformission", by Mark Driscoll. This is an excellent book that discusses showing Jesus to others from many different perspectives. I highly recommend this book.

Farragut does a lot of things really well. One of these things is VBS. If you have never been to VBS at Farragut, you are missing out. You can find out more about our congregation at www.farragutchurch.org. Our college aged are fully involved with VBS, doing everything from teaching sessions, to leading kids through out the day, serving snacks, running technology, acting etc. Again, they absolutely love serving and working.

Finally, Michelle and I host the college kids at our house once a month. In this setting we serve them. We cook for them. We provide activities for them. It is our way of showing how special they are to us. This setting has been such a comfortable setting for many of them, that they have invited their friends to it. These friends have stayed, and have become a part of the college ministry at Farragut. Many of our college aged have become so comfortable in this setting, they have just hung out watching TV, while Michelle and go to bed!

Late teens to early 20s is a very difficult time in a person's life. We want to be treated like adults, but still hold on to our youth. We want to be treated responsibly, but still desire to have someone plan for us. We want to lead, teach, and do, but still need to be taught, and have opportunities for just fellowship. This is a period where we start dating, and looking for life time mates. And yet, we look to our mentors for advice on how to get a date. We struggle with our identities, while trying to show everyone we are unique. It is a very trying time. This is all the more reason for those of us "more mature" in the faith (or more experienced in life) to be patient with this very particular group of individuals. We must engage them, not wait on them to volunteer. It is our responsibility to keep them active, as they go through this period of life. It is our responsibility to live a life that shows Jesus. We must be accepting of their differences, while not condoning activities that go against God's will.

How about you? What is your experience with the college aged? What was your experience when you were this age?

* A Legitimate Question

2009-05-29T11:33:00.002-04:00

I still plan to blog about our schedule at some point, although I am restraining from going on and on about how someone cut her hair again right in the middle of her forehead because her "part looked weird." Seemingly in response to my statement that his sister was hogging the stage my son spoke up.

Having a daily Bible time is a constant goal of ours, one we hardly ever live up to to our satisfaction. In a renewed effort the kids and myself sat down the other day to go over the day's God Time Card. The previous day's card talked about creation, etc so we had read the opening of Genesis in a bible story book we had received as a gift at some point in the past. The next day the talk was supposed to center around John 3:16. This topic held no interest for my son because it was not in order. So we quickly went through the concept in order to return to Genesis for the next story in the book. We discussed Adam and Eve's poor choice of fruit. This just happened to be the story from the previous Sunday so clearly the ideas had been percolating in his head.

(Might I say that having children and teaching them about God is quite the faith stretching exercise. You think that teaching adults would be the most challenging in the faith arena but I would challenge that assumption. Answering a child's question can be amazingly difficult.)

After talking about following God's rules and the concept of obedience in general, my son asks...

"Why didn't God just not put that tree in the garden?"

A legitimate question.

No tree. No disobedience. No fall. No banishment.

Similar logic to my daughter from previously - if I had not put the scissors in reach she would not have cut her hair, so clearly her disobedience was my fault. If God had not put the tree there, they would not have eaten, so clearly....

I am interested in your thoughts. How to explain that God wasn't just setting them up.

This was my response to my son.

"Could God make us follow all the rules?" - Mom

"Yes" - son

"You're right, he could. But he wants us to follow him on our own. He wants us to choose to do the right thing. He will always give us a choice. We can choose to make the wise choice. We can choose to make a bad choice. Adam and Eve needed to have a choice too."

I am not sure how much sinks in. I am sure there is a better answer, but those questions come at you without any preparation. What thrills me is the insight into his thinking process. My little man is getting so big. That question took abstract reasoning, and it was a very legitimate question.

* Quirky Quotes

2009-05-27T11:41:00.002-04:00

It seems to be that my daughter is continuing to take the stage - not that my son is silent. It is just that he is more cautious with his words (at least when I am present) and a seven year old blurts less than a four year old. He is doing great stuff - reading to himself, playing baseball (with a much improved batting average from last year), independently cleaning his room! My daughter does read to herself, but no actual words match the page. She"cleans" her room but mostly it consists of piles, some on the chair, some behind the chair.

I will do a later post on our daily schedule, but today I am again struck by my daughters flair for drama and an "aptly spoken word."

The other day she said that the ladies tea we had attended was "lovely"

This morning she told her brother that "you ruined my life!!!" (all because he took a functioning water bottle from her while she was happily hosing down the playroom - I believe he actually saved her life - a fact I explained to the princess - at which point she told me I ruined her life.)

My current favorite occurred recently during a visit with friends. They came for the holiday weekend and much fun was had by all. They have four boys so the princess had a much larger court than usual and much more willing subjects. Her brother being quite content to let others be bossed around. Being boys however they did not always stick to girl stuff. A favorite activity - setting up tiny little men in rows to "battle." One boy had her dollhouse covered in battalions of little men. Upon noticing the unusual placement and use of her dollhouse she asked...

"Why is my dollhouse over here?"

"It makes a good fort."

Pause

"It makes a good dollhouse" (Emphasis entirely hers :) )

Silly boy.