Prayer Circles

I was recently at a prayer meeting. Its been a while since I had been to one of these things. Imagine, 12 people sitting around a table, holding hands, and going around the circle praying about what was on their hearts.

Pray circles are interesting. You get the email that invites you to some location so we can just pray. The email will usually have something about “you are in no way obligated to attend…blah blah blah.” The invite will also usually have something about the invitee being “moved by the Holy Spirit to invite you and others.” And, interestingly, the invite will usually include some type of declaration from the sender stating they “have no reason why they are inviting you, other than the Holy Spirit told them to.” Now, how do you turn that down??? How on earth do you turn down the Holy Spirit?! And yet at the same time, why can’t I just pray here, at my desk? Why do I need to be surrounded by others if we all we are going to do is pray? Why couldn’t this be one of those forwarded emails to tell me to pray right now so that I get a bazillion dollars but I will need to forward it to my entire contacts, and if I don’t then I must not be that great of a Christian…. I already pray for my ministries and others. Why do I need to go somewhere to pray?

This recent experience was amazing. We had a couple of elders, ministry leaders from various ministries, and our pulpit minister. The gentleman running the meeting asked us, “Why are you here? What were you thinking on your way here?” I’ll be honest, I wasn’t expecting that. I was geared for the more traditional, “let’s circle hands and start praying!” However, the reason I was there was to pray for my college group our church, and my family. Others were there to pray for the church, someone was sick in their life, someone wanted to pray that our church would be open. Someone wanted to pray about a job. So, before we started praying, we just talked.

Probably the most common example of prayer circles I have been associated with would be the kind from youth groups. Teens do them real well. They have no issue circling up, someone starts the prayer, and it goes around the circle. If you don’t feel like praying, you just simply squeeze the hand next to you and you can skip. The person getting the squeezed hand can tell your aversion to praying to how hard you squeezed his hand. Squeezing multiple times is the international sign for, “please pray! I do not want to pray publicly! I have an aversion to praying!” Your only worry in a teen youth group prayer circle is continually thinking about how clammy that other hand is, Of course, if you are a guy, you are trying to strategically place yourself by the hot church chick. This guy will probably never ask her out, but at least he gets to reminisce on holding her hand until the next prayer circle. Of course, if you are the hot church chick, you are trying to strategically place yourself as far away from the amazingly awkward guy during the prayer circle time….

Small groups do prayer circles to. In these situations, usually the small group leader takes prayer requests, everyone then circles up, then the leader gives the prayer. . You don’t have to worry about saying a prayer, just holding someone’s hand who is not your wife! If you plan your initial sitting right, you won’t be holding a man’s hand during this. Hey, you know you are thinking it, at least if you are a guy! Be honest; your are thinking to yourself right now: "boy, girl, boy, girl, ...."

Interestingly, there is no example of prayer circles in the bible (well, at least where they call out “holding hands”). Probably the most familiar example of group prayers is when Jesus takes his students off to pray right before he is arrested, and he comes back to find them sleeping. I am quite certain if they were circled up they would have stayed awake. Think about it: John is holding Peter’s hand and John starts to nod off. Peter would know by feeling John’s grip start to give. Peter could instantly put the death grip on him to wake him up! Problem solved. Jesus wouldn’t be lowering His expectations as he does when comes back finding them asleep!

Seriously, there is something about holding someone’s hand when you pray. I love it when my wife reaches for my hand when we start to pray. I can look at an order of worship on a Sunday and think to myself, “yep, she is going to grab my hand right there (pointing at the line that says ‘public prayer’)”. Even if we fought all the way to church, yelling at the kids to act appropriately; I know she will grab my hand for the prayer. It might hurt like hell, but she will still grab it.

I knew this elderly couple who had held hands to pray ever since they met. That’s a lot of hand holding! I really respected this couple. The gentleman was a mentor of mine. I can remember sitting in church across the aisle from them. I stole a peek one Sunday, and watched as they silently closed hands while some guy prayed. It was beautiful. Their hands looked like they were made for each other! It was like there were indentions on the hands that would only fit the spouse’s hand!

Holding hands brings us comfort. It gives us peace. But let’s face it: in a prayer circle it keeps us on our toes! Who do I sit by? Is it knuckles opened? Do I cup the hand? How hard do I squeeze? Will they look at me the same after an hour long hand hold?

This current prayer circle started this week. I’ll be honest, I wasn’t expecting much. I really felt like we were just going to talk out loud to God then go on home. Man, was I wrong…. The Holy Spirit came into that room! We plan to meet every week until God provides what we are needing. I was truly at peace in that room, and yet my spirit inside was being stirred as well. We all had very similar prayers: church growth, church healing, openness in communication, etc. There was a feeling the Spirit was providing guidance, but not necessarily answers, yet. I’ll keep you up to date on how it goes. I think Michelle is going to go next week.

By the way, is there something I can pray for you?

Excuse me sir, do you know where your soul will spend eternity?

I got witnessed to yesterday. It wasn’t the first time, and I am sure it won’t be the last. I was at a local mountain bike park, putting my gear on, when this guy came up to me, “hey man how is it going? You come here often?” I’ll be honest, the initial conversation kind of threw me for a loop. It sort of sounded like the beginnings of a pickup line! I was a little nervous; I’m not going to lie! Anyway, we exchanged names, then he hit me with it: “brother, can I give you a tract that shows how the bible is the absolute truth and that we should do exactly what it says?”

“Sure, man,” I responded. “I am a college minister, and I am always looking for new material!” Amazingly, he looked a little dejected and yet, relieved at the same time. It’s like he was thinking, “oh you’re a Christian? I wasted all that energy building up the nerve to come over to a total stranger to share my faith, something that is the most important part of my existence, and you already are saved?! I sure wish you had a ‘I’m a Christian, save your energy for someone else T-shirt’, but now that I know you are ‘one of us’ we can go share something that is very special and dear to my heart: bike riding!” Well, maybe that wasn’t exactly what he was thinking, but I am sure it was close….

Witnessing is one of those things us Christians do that a lot of non-Christians just don’t understand. And for us Christians, a lot of times its just plain awkward. Think about it: you go up to a complete stranger, ask them how their day is going, wait the proverbial (and polite) 5 seconds and then because we are so nervous about witnessing to a total stranger we interrupt their answer by blurting out something like: “if you died right now, do you know where your soul would spend eternity?” THERE!!!! I said it! And not only did I say it, I said it to a total stranger!!!! Here, have a tract with strategically orchestrated verses that are probably taken out of context to scare you into going to church 5 days from now….The other guy is thinking, “dude, I just want to pay for this latte!” Somehow, we Christians think that we can get into a deep conversation with someone by “going all the way”: eternal salvation. Sharing your faith is a great thing, but starting at the end of the Story is not the Gospel.

I think my most unusual experience with being witnessed to was sitting in an airport in Shanghai, waiting to come home after 3 weeks in China. This particular trip was actually the second trip in the course of two months. The first one went pretty good, until the day I was heading to the airport. There was an issue at the plant I was working at, and I had to return the following week. So its at the end of this second trip that this Caucasian lady comes up to me. I’ll admit I was rather grumpy, and wanting nothing more but to be home. But she decides to come over and talk to me about Jesus….

Think about that for a moment……

A Caucasian lady comes up to a Caucasian man, in the SHANGHAI AIRPORT (that’s china for you geologically challenged public schoolers) to give a testimony that is supposed to be the most important thing in her life!!

It turns out that she was at the end of a mission trip where her group had “witnessed” to hundreds of Chinese peasants out in the country, handed out hundreds of bibles, and prayed for all kinds of things with these new converts. I’ll be honest, I was quite impressed with her story. But then she chooses me to tell the Good News one more time, before going home?!? What was it about me that led her over to me? Was it my shirt? The book I was reading?

I responded that yes I know Jesus, and He and I are pretty close. Amazingly, she responded with almost a half hearted, “oh. Well…. That’s great. Just great.”

A couple of years ago Michelle and I were involved with a church that decided it would be a good idea to hand out “business cards” with “the message” on them. We were convinced they were not tracts! They were business cards! Surely people would be more accepting of a business card! Can’t you see it now? “excuse me sir, how is your day going?”

“its going…”

“great. Glad to hear. I have this business card here with the story of Jesus on it. I was wondering if you would be interested in taking it and learning about how to save your soul.”

“…uh, sure. Man, I’m glad that you weren’t going to hand out a tract. But a business card, well that’s different! I’ll see you at church next Sunday!”

“Sweet.”

What is it that tells us we can put the story of Jesus on to a business card, give it to someone, and everything will be OK? The book of John clearly tells us if everything was written down about what Jesus did, there wouldn’t be enough space on the earth to hold them all. Its almost like we use the tracts (sorry, business cards) as a “get out of evangelism card”. If we hand them out, then we don’t have to get close to them….

I have to confess that I actually left one of these business cards with a tip at a local restaurant. I felt pretty good about myself. It was a subtle gesture. We had been to the restaurant a couple of time previous, and coincidentally knew the waitress didn’t go to church. So that SUNDAY, I dropped my own bomb in the way of a “business card” along with my expected 15.7% tip. Hey, she was late on the drink refills a couple of times! Give me a break…..

A year or so later we were at another restaurant. I am not sure how it started, but we found ourselves in the middle of a conversation with the waiter. He was a really cool guy, who was very interested in what we were doing. We found ourselves talking to him about almost everything. He asked about our kids. Where we were from. We asked about his life. He was married, no kids. Then out of the blue: “…blah blah blah…our church…blah blah blah… God has blessed me so much…. Blah blah blah.” It just flowed like water. It took me a minute, but he was telling his story of Jesus, but it was in a way that it was just a part of his life! So, I decided to drop my bomb on him, “do you go to church?” His face answered the question, before his mouth did, “yeah, man. But I work a lot, and sometimes I work on Sundays. But it’s cool. God is with me all the time.” I was waiting for the tract, but it never came! Michelle and I spent a few more minutes talking with him, and in the middle of talking to him, he mentioned something about getting some “business cards” as a “tip” recently. He wasn’t real pleased with that….

It’s not that I am opposed to tracts. I think they can be effective. But if all you do is hand one out, you are missing the true Message of Jesus. To reach someone, you have to build a relationship with them. You have to show them Jesus through your actions: being positive in thinking, using God’s name in a complimentary and respectful manner, giving Him the credit. You have to be genuinely interested in someone’s life. You have to be patient, and being patient is hard. I think one reason why the earth couldn’t hold all the books of Jesus life is because if it did, we would find some way of handing it out to people. Jesus wants us to get know people. He wants us to express Him through our actions. When we know people and express Him through our actions, we are spreading the message of Jesus. I wonder if that would fit on a business card……

Traveling

Well, I am sure by now many of you are wanting an update on Michelle’s trip to Italy. You are going to have to wait until next week, after she gets home! I am most certain she is going to have amazing stories of her adventure. Stay tuned….

A couple of days before Michelle left on her trip, she came home and walked right up to me rather determined. I could see it coming, and it was a walk, of, “we are fixing to have a discussion of something of high importance!” I wasn’t really sure what it was going to be about, but I did have enough time to reflect back over the last few days to see if I had forgotten anything: Take the garbage out? Pick David up from ball practice? Did I leave my kids at church? I thought I was free and clear! Then she said, “when were you going to tell me about the terrorist threat in Europe?!”

Alright, I’ll admit it: I wasn’t expecting that one. True, I knew about the terrorist threat. True, I had researched it to the best of my abilities, and determined that there was a relatively low risk of an event happening in Europe during the week her and mother would be there, and even lower probability of something happening in the specific locations on her itinerary. So, based on my analysis, I chose to not mention it to her, saving her any undo anxiety…..

“I didn’t tell you because I saw no immediate threat to your travel plans, and didn’t want to have this conversation we are fixing to have,” I said rather dejectedly. With her hands on her hips, she looked at me in a way that would tell anyone that wasn’t the answer she was looking for, but somehow expecting. I went on to tell her the specific threats, and how I believe she and her mother would still be safe, and that if I felt that there was a possibility of her being injured, I would have asked her not to go. After a while, she began to calm down, but I am pretty sure that even now, I am not completely out of the woods.

Anyway, the week goes on, her mom comes up, we take them off to the airport, and away they went to Italy. Presently, they are having a great time, and I look forward to the numerous stories they will be telling when they return.

The kids have been absolutely awesome the last few days. Don’t get me wrong: they miss their mom, but they seem to know she is ok. We pray each night that her and grandma are safe, and that they return on time, and ok. They just seem to have this peace about them, knowing she and grandma will be ok. I’ll be honest, we have had a few conversations about “missing mommy”, and “when does she get home?”, but for the most part, its business as usual.

I think a lot of their acceptance has to do with my travels to China a few years back. They would escort me to the airport, give me a big hug, and then send me on way for 3 weeks. Those trips were absolutely brutal. But the kids got used to me leaving, and me returning. For them, just going to the airport was an adventure! In the end, they knew I would be back.

But I don’t think it’s just my trips that have helped my kids this time. I think they know God is with mom and grandma, and that He is going to keep them safe. Abby continually sings about God being everywhere. David asks about “going to church” in Italy. Their prayers are focused on keeping mommy safe. We haven’t specifically talked about God’s presence with them on their trip, but something tells me that they believe it.

I firmly believe without a sense of presence of God in one’s life, that life is a lot more anxious. We have to make decisions ourselves. When plans like possible terrorist threats look to derail our travel plans, we start looking to see what we can do about it. The only thing we can do about that is decide to not go! But knowing God is with you, knowing you are saved by a belief in Jesus and what He did for you, knowing you have a unique purpose in this life; these things bring peace to an otherwise anxious life. True, we can make a lot of decisions on our own, but if you don’t have to, why would you?

I think my kids are teaching me a lesson in regards to what Jesus says about having a faith like these little ones. It’s amazing how much we can learn from children, specifically in regards to their faith. They truly believe that mommy and grandma will be ok, and that will be home soon. They just will. Period. Somewhere along the way while we are growing up, we decide what is best for ourselves. How unfortunate is that?