For the past four years I have been the college minister for
Farragut Church of Christ. Last month, I resigned. It’s not as dramatic as it
sounds. I was a volunteer staff, which basically means I didn’t get paid, but
was still responsible for the ministry. Over the years, I have had a lot of
compliments on how the ministry has grown. I did all I could to seek God’s advice
on decisions (prayer, meditation, seeking wise counsel), but I also had the
help from my wife Michelle. Below are a select few that I think are worth
mentioning on establishing and maintaining a healthy college ministry.
Thursday, August 16, 2012
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
No Heat November
We went the entire month of November without turning our heat on. Actually, we went for over two months, but with October having such comfortable weather, I didn’t think I could really count it.
A while back I was having a conversation with my mom about how we had not turned our central unit on for a couple of weeks. I was bragging about how low my electric bill was going to be, when she reminded me (yet again) how she grew up with no AC, no heating unit except a wood stove, and even woke up with snow on her quilt a few times because her windows wouldn’t stay shut sometimes (and she walked to school uphill, both ways….). This conversation turned into a friendly battle of the wills over the next few weeks. At one point, my own brother called my son to ask him to sneak over and turn the air on so that I would lose!
The first week or so were kind of fun, with the kids bundling up “for dinner”, or David even sleeping in his regular clothes (not pajamas) for the next day. We even showed them how to take advantage of heat from the sun by opening the shades and front door when the sun was shining on it. Probably the funniest part was when Abby was doing laundry one night, and left the laundry room door open. She said, “at least the heat from the dryer will help!”
But I’ll be the first to admit that the last few days were the toughest. The night before we turned on our heat, the outside temperature got down to 28 degrees F. Honestly, I was more afraid of my pipes freezing, than I was of being cold. My reasoning was that I didn’t want to create more of a headache with pipes bursting just by trying to go as long as I could without heat.
We learned a lot from this experience. It may not seem like much, particularly since millions wake up each morning without heat, but we as a family learned a little more about what we can do without. We are one of those whacko families that don’t have cable, one TV (in the living room), and actually tell our kids to go outside and play. I don’t budget for a car payment; because I don’t want to have debt of any kind. Michelle and I do our best to actually sit down at the dinner table and ask our children about their day. We are far from perfect, as our lives are quite busy, but we do our best to be intentional about consistent activities in the home. I hear way too often how that I deprive my children of “advances in technology” and the “nicer things in life”. I just don’t believe that is true. One deprives a child when they take away what the child truly wants: one on one time with their parents. I don’t choose to have one TV because I think it will rot my kids’ brain (even though there is some truth to that). I have only one TV so that I, as a parent, have fewer distractions that keep ME from interacting with my kids.
If you are reading this, then I am certain there is something you could intentionally give up in your life right now. The concept is quite biblical. It’s called fasting, and it’s not just for food. It is for anything that has a hold on us that would keep us from focusing on God first. A while back, I fasted from social media. A friend of mine fasted from coffee. It may be that you need to fast from exercising for a time period, because you have the wrong motivation for doing it. The point is that you fast from something, and do it regularly. It helps us to keep our focus on where it needs to be.
Just so we are clear: Michelle and I can afford to turn on our heat (mom, if you are reading this). The main reason we went this long without any heat was to keep us focused on the fact there were those who could not turn on heat, even if they wanted to. We got some real good discussions from our kids through this experience. David wanted to know how we could help those who didn’t have any heat. Abby did too, and then she asked, “so what are we giving up next?” It’s a good question, and one that I don’t have an answer for just yet. But I will throw it to you: What can you give you up for a season?
A while back I was having a conversation with my mom about how we had not turned our central unit on for a couple of weeks. I was bragging about how low my electric bill was going to be, when she reminded me (yet again) how she grew up with no AC, no heating unit except a wood stove, and even woke up with snow on her quilt a few times because her windows wouldn’t stay shut sometimes (and she walked to school uphill, both ways….). This conversation turned into a friendly battle of the wills over the next few weeks. At one point, my own brother called my son to ask him to sneak over and turn the air on so that I would lose!
The first week or so were kind of fun, with the kids bundling up “for dinner”, or David even sleeping in his regular clothes (not pajamas) for the next day. We even showed them how to take advantage of heat from the sun by opening the shades and front door when the sun was shining on it. Probably the funniest part was when Abby was doing laundry one night, and left the laundry room door open. She said, “at least the heat from the dryer will help!”
But I’ll be the first to admit that the last few days were the toughest. The night before we turned on our heat, the outside temperature got down to 28 degrees F. Honestly, I was more afraid of my pipes freezing, than I was of being cold. My reasoning was that I didn’t want to create more of a headache with pipes bursting just by trying to go as long as I could without heat.
We learned a lot from this experience. It may not seem like much, particularly since millions wake up each morning without heat, but we as a family learned a little more about what we can do without. We are one of those whacko families that don’t have cable, one TV (in the living room), and actually tell our kids to go outside and play. I don’t budget for a car payment; because I don’t want to have debt of any kind. Michelle and I do our best to actually sit down at the dinner table and ask our children about their day. We are far from perfect, as our lives are quite busy, but we do our best to be intentional about consistent activities in the home. I hear way too often how that I deprive my children of “advances in technology” and the “nicer things in life”. I just don’t believe that is true. One deprives a child when they take away what the child truly wants: one on one time with their parents. I don’t choose to have one TV because I think it will rot my kids’ brain (even though there is some truth to that). I have only one TV so that I, as a parent, have fewer distractions that keep ME from interacting with my kids.
If you are reading this, then I am certain there is something you could intentionally give up in your life right now. The concept is quite biblical. It’s called fasting, and it’s not just for food. It is for anything that has a hold on us that would keep us from focusing on God first. A while back, I fasted from social media. A friend of mine fasted from coffee. It may be that you need to fast from exercising for a time period, because you have the wrong motivation for doing it. The point is that you fast from something, and do it regularly. It helps us to keep our focus on where it needs to be.
Just so we are clear: Michelle and I can afford to turn on our heat (mom, if you are reading this). The main reason we went this long without any heat was to keep us focused on the fact there were those who could not turn on heat, even if they wanted to. We got some real good discussions from our kids through this experience. David wanted to know how we could help those who didn’t have any heat. Abby did too, and then she asked, “so what are we giving up next?” It’s a good question, and one that I don’t have an answer for just yet. But I will throw it to you: What can you give you up for a season?
Friday, November 4, 2011
40 Days of Sabbath from Social Media (SOME of What I have Learned)
I have been planning to do this for some time now. I can’t really point my finger to any specific thing that led me to fast for 40 days from social media. It more or less kind of grew on its own. But for whatever reason, I decided to “go dark” on September 24, 2011 for 40 days.
A little background: For a few months I noticed having a hard time focusing. It was requiring way too much effort to focus on one basic task in a given day. I noticed I was texting, checking my twitter feed, sending tweets, checking facebook, posting to facebook, making sure my twitter feed and facebook were synced, posting to my blog, checking my facebook, etc. All while trying to concentrate on the basic of tasks. If I were to be honest, I was overwhelmed. I was overwhelmed with trying to stay in contact with everyone. I was overwhelmed with trying to communicate things to others. And that is why I began to ask the questions: why do I post things on line? What is my ultimate motivation for posting anything (twitter, facebook, blog, etc.) on line? I ignored the answer, because it wasn’t the answer that I wanted. The answer that I wanted was, “because I am really concerned about other people, and I have found some bit of information that will make their life better.” Unfortunately the truth that kept coming up was, “because I want to see how many people respond to what I have to say.” And it was this initial realization that sparked a desire to unplug for 40 days.
I consider social media facebook, twitter, and blogs. I realize that there are other forms of social media such as chat rooms, forums, chatting while playing on line games, etc. But I don’t communicate in those ways. I primarily use twitter and facebook. So those were the ones that cut out of my life. I went so far as to delete the apps from my phone. The only two forms of media that I engaged in outside of direct communication were texting and email. I didn’t give up texting, because it truly is an amazing way of getting your point across to someone personally and instantly. There are numerous times where I need to tell someone something, and I just can’t make a phone call. So for me, for these 40 days, I read no one’s blogs, I read no tweets, and I read no facebook posts.
My Feelings about Facebook - I have a theory that there is no way one person can be true friends with 400 people. To have that many people as your friends on facebook is ridiculous. You can’t keep up. One could spend 24 hours a day on facebook checking up on their “friends”. My wife calls this facebook stalking. I call it being unproductive. It’s consuming. It’s addicting. What are they doing? Why don’t they post pictures? Why am I on their list? Why am I NOT on their list?? I can’t believe they are divorced?! Etc. Don’t get me wrong: Facebook has its place, but it requires so much effort to stay in control, that a lot of people ultimately lose control.
My Feelings about Twitter - To post random comments assuming that people actually care is the thought behind twitter. One can actually follow the menial, day in day out, goings on of high profile people with nothing more than a click of a button. Another ridiculous thing about twitter is that a celebrity can make an offhand comment about a brand in less than 140 characters and that brand will completely change its focus or rebut in less than 24hrs. It was recently determined that certain brands are actually PAYING some celebrities to post something about their product….Its insanity! But it’s this insanity that draws people to share their message: “I have something to say, and if I have followers, then they obviously care what I have to say.” This type of motivation for posting comments is nothing more than “it’s about me” hidden behind “they are interested in me”.
Anyway, enough of beating up on Facebook and Twitter. They do have their uses. The ability to share information to massive amounts of people is exciting. But if the activities behind the communication consume us, distract us, and keep us from building strong relationships with others, then the technology is keeping us from being who we are created to be: social, loving, involved, PRESENT creatures.
My ultimate goal behind the 40 day fast was to strengthen my relationships with those around me. There is no way we can build serious relationships when our face is in our phone or in a computer screen most of the time. Intentionally unplugging would provide more time for my wife and kids. I removed yet another distraction in my life that I was using as an excuse to not be fully engaged in their lives.
It doesn’t take much for me to disengage from them. I can create some pretty good excuses: “this college student needs some time to talk. I need to write this blog, because it is related to what we are studying this week. I need to check on facebook to see what he said, he seemed to be upset tonight.” You see? These are all seemingly legitimate reasons that cumulatively consume a mountain of time. I decided a long time ago that it was my responsibility to be intentional in the lives of my wife and kids. I shouldn’t wait on them to engage me. I need to initiate the communication with them. I bet if you were honest with yourself, you are probably making some pretty good excuses as well….
Strengthening my relationships was cool, but I also noticed I have read more in the last 40 days. Not just reading online either. I actually read physical books; with pages! One time a coworker brought in an article from Newsweek wanting me to read it. I knew I had a problem when I thought to myself, “Why didn’t he send me a link to it in an email?”
Along with reading three books in the last 40 days, I got back into a daily routine of reading my bible. I have a bible app on my phone that I would read from primarily, but there is something about HOLDING a bible and reading it…. I don’t know, but the words and stories just seem to be more understandable when reading it this way.
So I’m back on line; at least for now. I have a thought stirring in my head to cancel all my accounts as a New Year’s Resolution. I’m not so sure about that….. In the mean time, I have decided to severely limit my communication online. I am sure I will send a few tweets here and there. I read a lot of articles on science, religion, politics, etc. My goal with sending these links is to stimulate some kind of discussion in regards to the topic. I also plan to overhaul my Facebook account. Do I really need that many friends?? Why is THAT posted on my wall? What I am really trying to say by posting that picture?? Do I really “like” that??
What about you? Could you unplug for 40 days? What about 2 weeks? A week? A weekend? 24 hours? For an hour???? If your answer is no, maybe you should give it a shot…..
A little background: For a few months I noticed having a hard time focusing. It was requiring way too much effort to focus on one basic task in a given day. I noticed I was texting, checking my twitter feed, sending tweets, checking facebook, posting to facebook, making sure my twitter feed and facebook were synced, posting to my blog, checking my facebook, etc. All while trying to concentrate on the basic of tasks. If I were to be honest, I was overwhelmed. I was overwhelmed with trying to stay in contact with everyone. I was overwhelmed with trying to communicate things to others. And that is why I began to ask the questions: why do I post things on line? What is my ultimate motivation for posting anything (twitter, facebook, blog, etc.) on line? I ignored the answer, because it wasn’t the answer that I wanted. The answer that I wanted was, “because I am really concerned about other people, and I have found some bit of information that will make their life better.” Unfortunately the truth that kept coming up was, “because I want to see how many people respond to what I have to say.” And it was this initial realization that sparked a desire to unplug for 40 days.
I consider social media facebook, twitter, and blogs. I realize that there are other forms of social media such as chat rooms, forums, chatting while playing on line games, etc. But I don’t communicate in those ways. I primarily use twitter and facebook. So those were the ones that cut out of my life. I went so far as to delete the apps from my phone. The only two forms of media that I engaged in outside of direct communication were texting and email. I didn’t give up texting, because it truly is an amazing way of getting your point across to someone personally and instantly. There are numerous times where I need to tell someone something, and I just can’t make a phone call. So for me, for these 40 days, I read no one’s blogs, I read no tweets, and I read no facebook posts.
My Feelings about Facebook - I have a theory that there is no way one person can be true friends with 400 people. To have that many people as your friends on facebook is ridiculous. You can’t keep up. One could spend 24 hours a day on facebook checking up on their “friends”. My wife calls this facebook stalking. I call it being unproductive. It’s consuming. It’s addicting. What are they doing? Why don’t they post pictures? Why am I on their list? Why am I NOT on their list?? I can’t believe they are divorced?! Etc. Don’t get me wrong: Facebook has its place, but it requires so much effort to stay in control, that a lot of people ultimately lose control.
My Feelings about Twitter - To post random comments assuming that people actually care is the thought behind twitter. One can actually follow the menial, day in day out, goings on of high profile people with nothing more than a click of a button. Another ridiculous thing about twitter is that a celebrity can make an offhand comment about a brand in less than 140 characters and that brand will completely change its focus or rebut in less than 24hrs. It was recently determined that certain brands are actually PAYING some celebrities to post something about their product….Its insanity! But it’s this insanity that draws people to share their message: “I have something to say, and if I have followers, then they obviously care what I have to say.” This type of motivation for posting comments is nothing more than “it’s about me” hidden behind “they are interested in me”.
Anyway, enough of beating up on Facebook and Twitter. They do have their uses. The ability to share information to massive amounts of people is exciting. But if the activities behind the communication consume us, distract us, and keep us from building strong relationships with others, then the technology is keeping us from being who we are created to be: social, loving, involved, PRESENT creatures.
My ultimate goal behind the 40 day fast was to strengthen my relationships with those around me. There is no way we can build serious relationships when our face is in our phone or in a computer screen most of the time. Intentionally unplugging would provide more time for my wife and kids. I removed yet another distraction in my life that I was using as an excuse to not be fully engaged in their lives.
It doesn’t take much for me to disengage from them. I can create some pretty good excuses: “this college student needs some time to talk. I need to write this blog, because it is related to what we are studying this week. I need to check on facebook to see what he said, he seemed to be upset tonight.” You see? These are all seemingly legitimate reasons that cumulatively consume a mountain of time. I decided a long time ago that it was my responsibility to be intentional in the lives of my wife and kids. I shouldn’t wait on them to engage me. I need to initiate the communication with them. I bet if you were honest with yourself, you are probably making some pretty good excuses as well….
Strengthening my relationships was cool, but I also noticed I have read more in the last 40 days. Not just reading online either. I actually read physical books; with pages! One time a coworker brought in an article from Newsweek wanting me to read it. I knew I had a problem when I thought to myself, “Why didn’t he send me a link to it in an email?”
Along with reading three books in the last 40 days, I got back into a daily routine of reading my bible. I have a bible app on my phone that I would read from primarily, but there is something about HOLDING a bible and reading it…. I don’t know, but the words and stories just seem to be more understandable when reading it this way.
So I’m back on line; at least for now. I have a thought stirring in my head to cancel all my accounts as a New Year’s Resolution. I’m not so sure about that….. In the mean time, I have decided to severely limit my communication online. I am sure I will send a few tweets here and there. I read a lot of articles on science, religion, politics, etc. My goal with sending these links is to stimulate some kind of discussion in regards to the topic. I also plan to overhaul my Facebook account. Do I really need that many friends?? Why is THAT posted on my wall? What I am really trying to say by posting that picture?? Do I really “like” that??
What about you? Could you unplug for 40 days? What about 2 weeks? A week? A weekend? 24 hours? For an hour???? If your answer is no, maybe you should give it a shot…..
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