* Memory of Feeling

A comment on the household today. We took dad to the airport this morning at 4:15 and subsequently our time is thrown way off. The kids went back to sleep but did not get up until 9 and 9:30. This would normally be awesome, because I have worked hard to teach them to sleep like their mom. But since I was also up for an hour driving before 5 am I did not sleep well after and have woken up quite fuddled. We are functioning tolerably well and the kids are having bonus fun because mom is allowing the tent to go up, a treat I don't do much due to effects of the play scenarios trickling toys everywhere. The tent is upstairs this time and I am liking the effects already. Unfortunately the tent is on its last leg. It was not made to be jumped on repeatedly and the fiberglass supports are beginning to shatter. So to the tent manufacturers out there, you need to add another stress test to your quality standards before production on a grand scale. My four year old can take out your equipment in no time flat, that is a sad statement.

That update was not the point of this entry but as I said I am fuddled today. I wanted to comment on something before I forgot. I can't tell you how many things I forget to write about. If you guys could only hear what I don't say I would seem way more clever but that hardly ever happens so the cleverness level is low. On a lighter note the folks that do follow this aren't expecting much and are often entertained with a basic description of the general randomness that happens in a day (reference the tent coverage above).

Some days ago we had friends over and as often happens when folks are in your home, accidents happen - never to your own children always theirs, making your home seem a natural disaster waiting to happen. This leaves you feeling like you can not in good conscience invite people over so much. Anyway... The second accident merits mentioning only in the amount of blood, head wounds always bleed like crazy, increasing exponentially the drama of being whacked in the face which is dramatic enough. Luckily the object was only a woofle bat and not a 'real' one. The little trooper with the blood later commented beautifully when asked if he felt ok "I have tape on my eye."

The first injury is more memorable to me. Thankfully my children were not directly involved in this injury as in the second, it was merely a matter of architecture. Another little guy missed a step and took a dive down the last three or four steps landing on his face (and forearms praise GOD) From my seat at the table I got a perfect view of the event, yet too far to actually do anything about it, just watch. I am glad that I carry that memory with me and not his mom.

This experience sparked a connection to some very nerdy references. I thought of Data in Star Trek talking about his view of time as different from humans. Also the computer girl 'Jane' in the Ender's Game books comments on her perception of time. It is mildly entertaining to think that these comments about computer perception of time are actually made up by humans who have no clue, but it makes for fairly interesting Scifi. Anyway.... in these scifi worlds computers are able to perceive every moment of time that can make a second seem infinite, since they can compute so much so fast. We silly humans bumble along missing a lot.

When my friends son fell down the steps and then went about his day after some minutes of crying and a 'booboobear' from the freezer, I reflected on the moment. For what was probably only one second I felt the full force of emotions for that little guy breaking his neck. The fall looked bad. He landed on his face, his neck did not appreciate it. (I will point out that he did also land on forearms and hands to catch his fall and he weighs practically nothing which is helpful when falling - less weight equals less force) So now I have the memory of that split second, when the adrenaline said it was bad. Logic would remind me that kids fall all the time, and God in His wisdom put them closer to the ground with less weight and less solid bone structure for this very reason. Logic would remind me that their falls always look bad and they generally get up and move around without much ado. Logic doesn't speak in a split second - adrenaline and panic speak first and they say things like "that looks bad" "how are you going to live with yourself when your friends son has a permanent disability because he fell down your steps?" "you suck" That is quite a lot to say in less than a second.

So now I know how the scifi writers got their inspiration. Sitting at dinner Mr. Card (author of Ender's books) looked over in time to see a small child fly through the air and now has a memory that has more information and feeling in it than one second should logically contain. Light bulb goes off and suddenly 'Jane' has a monologue.

Is that not a lot for a one second event? Drama, small children, guilt, scifi reference, philosophy of time...all wrapped up in a little blog with a ten person readership :) I think a fitting closer would then be to bring in some 'Jane' Austin because what could be closer to scifi than that?

I wanted to remember this second of time because we do bumble along as humans and miss so much. This one I did not miss, but as Mr. Bennett says in P&P don't worry for me. It will pass soon enough ... and more quickly than it should. (Ha! )