Things (not) to Say in Church

Michelle introduced me to a book this weekend: “Permission to Speak Freely” by Anne Jackson. It’s a book that was inspired by Anne’s blog, when she asked the question: “what is one thing you feel you can’t say in church?”

When I first heard what it was about, I was immediately skeptical: “How could there possibly be something you can’t say in church?” Church is a place where one should feel safe, able to think openly, is accepted for who you are, feel surrounded by other believers with a common goal, etc….

But then I started thinking about this question…. Is it possible that there are things that we (Christians) are NOT supposed to say in church? Maybe another way of looking at it is, “are there things others in our own congregations PRAY we never say?”

Are there certain topics that we know we don’t discuss? Demanding justification for financial aid comes to mind…. Are you worthy for the money we can offer you? Yes, you are only asking for us to pay your heating bill this month, but how do we KNOW you will actually use this money for the heating bill, and not alcohol or the lottery, or…..? We require a signed declaration of where the funds are to be used (our approval obviously), and in the event that we find out that our funds have been used for other services or purchases without the written consistent of us, the leaders, you are required to pay back in full plus 50%. I mean, come on! People have actually asked for food for their children, then turned around and used that money for gas in their car. Who knows where they went using our money for gas! We can’t trust people these days!

Are there individuals that we shouldn’t question? The preacher is always right. The elders know what is best. They have been leading that ministry for decades now! They know what they are doing. The personality of the church is driven by the personality of the leaders.

Are there questions we don’t ask, because we don’t want to hear the answer? Why didn’t I pick up that homeless guy on the way to our church’s Family Meal time? Because he would lower the average net income of our congregation. He smells (it would cost so much to clean the interior of my SUV, so I am actually being a good steward of God’s money by NOT picking him up….) He looks scary and w are trying to attract DINKS (dual income no kids ) into our church family! We need their (the DINKS, not the homeless man!) “tithing” to meet our budget! How do you expect us to attract upper class families when we have lower class individuals among us? Quite frankly, I don’t want to associate with him.

Are there sins we don’t confess, because of the retribution they will bring? Growing up, the fastest way to get you kicked out of a congregation was to confess adultery, divorce, or struggling with homosexuality. It seems back then, Christians were perfect in all respects and demanded no less from anyone who even might be considering becoming one. Heaven forbid you were a preacher or considered to be a leader in a congregation and get caught up in the drama of an illicit affair! That immediately won you an “open letter” (thanks to John Acuff for this thought!) sent to all surrounding churches (within the proper denomination of course) explaining in gross detail the facts of your sin, verses to backup why you were dis-fellowshipped, and what could possibly happen to a congregation that would even cherish the thought of accepting you(supporting verses included obviously). We are so fortunate that situations like this don’t happen anymore!

Whoa….. Maybe there is more to this topic than I originally thought.

Well, I am going to give credit to Anne Jackson for sparking this particular blog. But now I am going to ask the question: what is something you feel you can’t say in church? And why? Don’t worry! It’s not like I am going to publish them! You can trust me. Only responses that include your full name, place of residence, and church membership will be considered legitimate.