My son was recently invited by local high school football team to review film. He started playing football, and one of his homework assignments by his coach was to review film (watch football games), and pick out his position. At ten years old, you would have thought he had been invited by a team from the NFL. He arrives at their practice one afternoon, opens the car door, and is met with some rather colorful language from the coaches. “that’s the @#$%@#! play I have ever seen run!”, was just an inkling of what he overheard. At one point, he turned to his mom and said, “mom, he used the ‘s’-word!” (S-word in our house is “shut up”) Anyway, after the initial shock from all the yelling, David happily spent a few hours with the coaching staff reviewing last year’s films, and they did an excellent job of helping him pick out his current position.
But this experience got me thinking. What words do you use in your house? What words would your kids say are used in your house? For instance, is the word “Jesus” used frequently? If so, in what context? Is it, “and Jesus is the Savior of the World, and He loves you very much!” or is it: “Jesus. Just get up stairs and get in bed!” If it’s the latter, I doubt your kids are looking around for Jesus to walk up the stairs….
We have to be real careful about our language, and we cannot take it for granted. Recently, I gave a speech at a graduation banquet. The title of my talk was, “Don’t be Stupid”. The point was that as young people they have a lot of opportunities, but as they make stupid decisions, they start running out of opportunities. Hence, don’t be stupid. During my talk, a young little guy about 5 or 6 had had enough of my use of the word. He was sitting rather close to the front and interrupted me, “we don’t say stupid in my house.” I was caught off guard, and was truly inspired. The reason is that I know this family personally, and can honestly say that they do not use that word, as well as many others that would be frowned upon. I was encouraged that the child felt so strongly about it that he decided to make his issues known to me in public! Something that I took so matter-of-fact-like, he took very strongly.
As parents, we have to be cognizant of the fact that our kids are watching us all the time, even when they are not. I hear my phrases coming out of son these days; some good, some not so good. But he and his sister are only mimicking what they think is appropriate. All kids do this. So we as parents need to show them what appropriate communication is. That is why consistent bible studies are so important. And it’s not sitting everyone down every night for a bible time, although that isn’t a bad idea. It can also be talking at the table, songs you listen to, shows you watch, the reason for why you are not going to put that purchase on the credit card, and a litany of others. Be intentional about teaching your children what good communication looks like. Show them by speaking and acting the way Jesus would want you to.
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