Prioritizing Your Life

A while back Michelle and I celebrated 15 years of marriage. 15 years is a long time, and we decided to do something very special to celebrate this achievement. We went to Walt Disney World! I know, it seems kind of cliché, but it really was a great trip. My wife is so awesome….

Oh, did I mention we DIDN’T take the kids?!?As you can imagine, they were a little upset when we broke the news to them. David gives us this, “What are you talking about, daddy?” look while my princess just looked at us with these big puppy dog eyes that said, “but, why?”  I admit I was probably sad for about 5 seconds. But we explained to them how important it was to celebrate special occasions like birthdays, anniversaries, etc . We also explained to them that for us, going Disney World was more than just a family trip. They actually allow you come without kids! The disappointment didn’t last long. God has blessed us with amazing kids, who saw it for what it was: a trip to celebrate a marriage. I love my kids!

All of our relationship, Michelle and I have tried our best to prioritize our life. We try to keep God first, our relationship (Judah and Michelle) second, the kids third, and extended family fourth. But even within this prioritization, a relationship with God is still intimately mixed with each level. We definitely are not perfect at this, and there have been seasons in our life when these have gotten mixed up a little bit. All in all, we try to stick with this order of priority. So how does this look in a given week?

We make a point of emphasizing how important God is in our family. We do this by praying at dinner and bed time on a regular basis. We go to church regularly. Part of our children’s reading curriculum includes bible passages. We listen to Christian music. We have bible studies in our home. We do our part to give the God the glory, even when things are not going the way we want to. We make them aware of activities we do outside of Sundays to grow spiritually (i.e. prayer groups, weekly bible studies, etc.). We don’t want them thinking that our only source of Spiritual growth is Sunday mornings.

We are intentional about our marriage relationship. A wise man once told me the first thing you do when you get home is kiss your wife. It sounds pretty basic, but it also establishes who ranks where in the home. Without a doubt, our kids know they are loved, that they will be provided for, but more importantly, that daddy loves mommy. Time and time again research has shown that one of the most important things you can do for your children is to show you love your spouse. So, we dance in front of them, sit in the “luv seat” together, go on walks together, and establish “adults only zones” for a period of time.  Everyone knows that kids want to grow up to be just like their parents. So we try to provide them a healthy model of what that looks like.

Everyone goes to the activity. With our kids getting into sports and dance, it is becoming more and more difficult for the whole family to participate in all the activities. However, as best as we can, we try to attend activities as a family. I believe that it helps to say, “What you are doing is important.” It doesn’t matter if it is a football game, dance recital, or simply reading scripture during a church function, the point is to show that what you are doing is important to the family as whole. These actions solidify the family unit.

Our responsibility is to raise our kids the way God wants us to. As a parent, God tells us to raise our kids a certain way. It’s a responsibility that no parent can get away from. They are to know Him. They are to rely on Him. We are to not harm our kids. They are to be loved and protected. We have to remember that children are a blessing by God. It’s hard to raise kids the way God wants us to. It’s easy to give them whatever they want. It’s hard to say no to them. It’s easy to give them gadgets to entertain them. It’s difficult to turn off your phone and engage them. It’s easy to set up their TV channels. It’s difficult to read the bible to them. It’s easy to send them off to camp. It’s difficult to volunteer in their activities. As parents, we have to lead the way on how children taught. They will learn something. It’s best to show them what the wise thing to do is, than for them to find out what no t to do on their own.

What Michelle and I have noticed in our 15 years of marriage is that there is very little wasted time when you prioritize your family. And for me this is very important. For me, wasted time is just an opportunity for you do something you know you shouldn’t do! So, go home today and kiss your spouse, turn OFF your phone, establish an “adult only zone” for 15 minutes, then go wrestle with those little ones!