Kids Without Parental Controls

We got satellite TV recently. Before you start congratulating us, you should know we have intentionally been without satellite/cable for almost 4 years. During that time, our TV experience was exclusively streamed service via the internet. Our primary service was Netflix, and loved every minute of it. 

We controlled what our kids watched. 

We didn’t watch commercials. 

We could watch entire seasons of a show. 

It got to the point where when our kids went over to friends’ houses that didn’t have streaming services, they ended up saying things like, “oh, you have to watch commercials…” It was awesome.

Unfortunately, our new house is considered “in the middle of nowhere” by most, including all local cable subscribers and high speed internet providers. Therefore, we got satellite TV with internet.

Probably the most interesting thing I have found so far with the service we got was the parental controls. You type in a code that locks out all the adult channels, provides limits on TV time, sets up access to kids only channels, and a plethora of other features. And that got me thinking……

I don’t want parental controls. What I want is for my children to not even want to do things that parental controls limit. 

I want them to not want to watch porn.

I want them to limit their own TV time. 

I want them to turn the channel when they see things they know are inappropriate.

For that matter, I want them to walk away when the conversation goes sour. 

I want them to stand up for the guy who is getting made fun of in the youth group. 

I want my daughter to call me to come pick her up when her date is being inappropriate.

And that is hard as a parent. Its exhausting. Why? Because you have to give up the things you want to do, and get to KNOW them. We have to do things they want to do. We have to put down our phones, A LOT, look them in the eye, and listen to them. Talk to them. Make them answer us. Tell them what is right. Over and over and over. Understand how and why God brought them into this world and point them in that direction, instead of trying to make carbon copies of ourselves. 

I want a child who doesn’t need parental controls to make wise decisions, to stand up for those who can’t stand up for themselves, and to say no when the time comes.

Managing Email

If you are anything like me, you get a lot of email. It’s really unfortunate how much time we waste on email. 

Social Media and Evangelism

It’s clear that social media is becoming big in churches these days. For a lot of churches, it’s been mainstream for a few years. So I am not going to provide any links to websites about “how churches can be effective with social media” or pages similar to that. One can simply do an internet search to find all the resources about social media and churches. I have my own views about the use of Facebook, twitter, vimeo, YouTube, Google+ etc. when it comes to churches. I am of the opinion that social media can be better utilized to reach nonbelievers. Below, are some of my thoughts on the use of these tools in the area of evangelism.

Social media is mainly used by churches to communicate what is going on within a given faith community. We like to tweet pithy comments during the sermon. The youth minister likes to post when the youth group plans to make it back to the church. We like to retweet this week’s sermon to our followers (unfortunately for some this is about there only form of evangelism). And all these things are great. They are great for Christians. But how do we use this technology to reach nonbelievers? As effective as these tools are to get information to other Christians, how effective are they to reaching nonbelievers? Is it even possible to reach nonbelievers using social media like Twitter and Facebook?

I am of the opinion that if a congregation has a ministry, it (the ministry) should be focused on nonbelievers as much as possible. Whatever the ministry is, it should be constantly asking, “how does this look to nonbelievers? What can we do to make them feel more welcome in our faith community?”

Take worship as an example. How should a nonbeliever perceive any given worship service on a Sunday morning? What are they going to think when they hear phrases like, “let’s all stand and worship…” and “…give it all to Jesus…”? Should a given congregation expect a nonbeliever to worship something they have no belief in? Now granted, a lot of churches see Sunday morning as more for “themselves” than for those outside of a church community. But, if a church considers itself open to nonbelievers, then it should consider the feelings of someone who doesn’t necessarily believe what Christians believe when they are planning the worship experience. It may be that worship band is warming up to a few secular songs while everyone is getting to their seat. Maybe they start with songs about God’s creation, and His love. Then they progress to more personal responses in the lyrics such as, “I raise my hands…” or “…You are my only God….” Simply taking a few minutes and asking how something is going to be perceived from a nonbeliever’s stand point has the potential to be truly welcoming to those questioning Christianity. Look, we can acknowledge the obvious: they actually made it to the church building, and should therefore expect some type of religiosity, but that is no excuse for churches to not be a little bit accommodating….

Back to the topic at hand: How does this look when it comes to social media? How does a church use social media in a way that potentially attracts nonbelievers? I think it requires being as open as you can, accepting some risk, and allowing for grace while not altering truth. Here are a few examples of how I believe a faith community can use social media outlets for evangelism.

Facebook – Most churches these days have a Facebook page. And like most churches, these pages are closed to members of that faith community. But what if the page was completely open, where anyone could post anything? This would be the digital way of saying, “the church doors are always open.”  True, this can provide a situation where you may see some colorful language, or inappropriate links. But managed well, a Facebook page can provide an avenue for those seeking answers to tough questions, that would normally not walk into a church service. And another thing: maybe it’s just me, but having a closed page, but saying you are “seeker friendly” sends the wrong message. Sure, you are going to get “that guy” that wants to argue about the seemingly conflicts in the gospels. But how you treat him is much more important than proving him wrong. How does blocking him out of the group because he can defend his beliefs as well as you show evangelism? 

Twitter - tweets about church are usually about the preaching from that Sunday. Sometimes it is about the speaker’s clothes. Sometimes it is about the weather! Some churches are even keeping you informed of the parking situation. Did you know that pictures are more likely to be retweeted than that awesome comment the speaker said?  But whatever it is, it should reflect the overall tenor of the population. A nonbeliever should be able to follow the church’s account and figure out pretty quickly what a “normal” Sunday morning looks like. Retweets from members help them understand the types of people that attend regularly. Posting links about local mission support helps them understand how they can get involved before signing up for Christianity (topic for another blog: people tend to serve before they start believing). Post links to job openings in the area. Hopefully you get the idea: make it more about the faith community, not so much about just the sermon.

Blogs – Most churches have someone blogging. Blogs are probably the best way to understand someone’s personality and their interests. Although a lot of churches blog these days, churches could have members who have their own personal blogs (even better). A church should consider designating an area on their webpage that provides a list of all the known bloggers that attend their congregation. This way, a person could gain a better understanding of the type of people that attend a given congregation. Maybe they come across someone that appears to think a little like them, and they are compelled to ask that person a question. People are far more likely to be intimidated by an official church blog, than by someone who appears to be approachable.

Other ideas would be:

• ·        Lists of books that staff members recommend or are reading.

• ·         Favorite music (band, songs, venues, etc.) from members

• ·         Conferences that staff attend
• 
  
• ·         A list of small business owners that attend a given church
• 
  
• ·         If some members are musicians, where they are playing locally
• 
  
• ·         Projecting tweets during worship services
• 
  
• ·         Answering questions from tweets, Facebook posts, etc.
• 
  
• ·         Using video services like Vimeo and YouTube for more than just posting the sermon.

My point is that churches should make it as easy as possible for a nonbeliever to find what he/she is looking for. Maybe it’s allowing them to post a question. Maybe it’s pointing them to someone that sounds a little bit like them. Maybe it’s helping them find a job. Maybe its allowing them to connect with someone who is a little more outgoing that can speak in a way that attracts them to the teachings of Jesus. 

The One Percent

Last week I heard a sermon where it was stated that going to church on Sunday mornings equals about 1 percent of our total week. The math is kind of simple:

24 hours a day * 7 days a week = 168 hours

Assume 2 hours for a Sunday morning and you get: (2 hours / 168 hours) * 100% = 1% of a given week is in church. 

Want a Healthy Marriage? Read the Song of Solomon (with your spouse)

The Song of Solomon is one of those books in the bible that, for many of us who grew up in church, well, we look at it as awkward. It’s like we go, “what do we do with that?” And I think it is because of that very question (and a few others) that the church should spend a consistent amount of time teaching from it each year.

Adding something for Lent

So Lent is upon us. It is this time of year when most Christians look to giving up something as a way of remembering the sacrifice that our Savior did for us. It’s a wonderful time of year to help us refocus on something that we will never ever fully appreciate. For God’s plan to be that his son would die for all on the planet to live is truly extraordinary. My cynic side sometimes thinks that giving up a few beers for a couple of days doesn’t seem to quite compare….

Technological Detox, and a Little Snowboarding

For over a decade, Michelle and I have been taking a ski trip to Snowshoe, WV almost every winter. For a snowboard fanatic like myself, it’s a great place within relative driving distance here in the southeast. It takes a while to get there, but once there, it is nothing but snowboarding, sleeping, snowboarding, eating, and more snowboarding. For me, this is a hint as to what heaven will be like.

My Take On Resolutions

For years I made a conscious effort to workout at a local gym wherever I lived. I felt that taking care of one’s body was one of the most important parts of a person life. With that in mind, I would always get frustrated around this time of year (January). I would show up at my local gym, and it was always more crowded than usual. But I didn’t have to wait too long for the crowds to dwindle. Usually around the end of February, first of March I would only see the regulars again. This observation over time is one of many that made me decide to not do New Year’s Resolutions. I could only see people that failed at them, and since I didn’t want to be a failure, I wouldn’t make any resolutions. It wasn’t until later that learned how important it was to set goals for myself.