* Almost There

No more presents to buy, just two to wrap. Christmas music on, cookies made, six cards without addresses - thanks to the little thief that walked off with my address book. We are almost there. I truly enjoy the Christmas season. So in that vein here is my top ten list of favorite things, in no particular order...

1. Christmas music - classic hymns, instrumental, or contemporary versions, all good. Judah has some jazz versions that are particularly interesting. Sometimes hearing the words in a different way helps you to remember what the song is about in the first place.
2. Evergreen trees and wreaths - evergreens get more press this time but are beautiful all year, it is just now that they are more obvious. :)
3. Spice tea on cold mornings - not necessarily restricted to Christmas but definitely tied together in my mind.
4. Another reason to have turkey and stuffing - none of that silly dressing business - stuffing only!
5. Christmas lights. I am a particular fan of white on the exterior but multi-colored on the tree. My favorite is the glow of the tree late at night, when it is quiet (which must mean when the kids are asleep)
6. Giving gifts - I often get more enjoyment out of giving the perfect gift than in receiving, which I believe is the whole point - since Christ was given as our perfect gift.
7. Hand print decorations - the kids have made some adorable wreaths, trees and reindeer from hand prints. I much prefer these crafts to scribbles, and definitely prefer them over glitter, which is the silliest craft time ever in my opinion. Gets everywhere - blgh.
8. Christmas cards - I get more and more photos each year. I think the pictures are fabulous, but also the borders always speak much to an individuals taste and style. It is fun to get a glimpse into some one's personality.
9. Christmas cookies - sugar cookies with icing in different flavors. I was blessed to have a very crafty mother who taught me to do such things throughout the year. I had some new college students over recently to help with cookies and some of those girls had never rolled dough to cut into shapes or made homemade powdered sugar icing. They were completely blown away by the different flavors you could make. I found a vanilla butter nut flavor this year - awesome! Apparently my traditions are not universal - which makes them even more special.
10. Time with family - sounds kinda gushy, a little fuzzy for me, but I do enjoy the time with the people I like doing something special. I think other than serving others during this time, God is most pleased with family together, doing what families should do. Slowing down, being TOGETHER, and showing love to each other.

May you all have a holiday season full of times of joy and your own version of home-made sugar cookies.

* Overwhelmed Follow-up

• I have successfully washed and hidden the Hello Kitty jeans.
• Laundry is folded and put away (a 1.5 hour process for two adults working continuously - we are blessed so much)
• Dishes done.
• All presents purchased and I am at 90% wrapped.

Still haven't done all those cards though...

Just Boys

I took the day off today. Recently, I have been feeling guilty about not spending a lot of quality time (I really hate that phrase) with my son. So today we spent a lot of time together.

I got a new radio installed in the Jetta. This was my Christmas present from Michelle. The new radio allows me to plug my ipod into it, and the radio controls it. The sound is awesome. My boy loved checking out all the radios, speakers, amplifiers, and DVD players. During the installation, we headed over to Panera Bread to get a cup of coffee and some hot chocolate; just us guys.

Afterward, we went to the paintball store to pick up some ammo. Again, seeing guns, ammo, body armor, etc. from a 7 year old's perspective is amazing. "Dad! look at this one! Dad! check this out!"

On the way home, we stopped and picked up Michelle's Christmas present. He was so exicted when he found the Christmas bag with the alarm on it: "STOP! you are trying to peek into this bag! STOP!" How funny is that? Michelle is not as amused.

Later on, we went to the gym, and I taught my son how to play racket ball. So much fun!

Now, we are sitting at the table, catching up on our homework.

It amazes me how calm and "chilled out" my son gets after a good day of "boy stuff". Its days like this that continually remind me that this was how God designed it: boys, hanging out with their dads on a daily basis. You can see it in his personality when we get too busy, and he and I don't get some one on one time. He gets a little cranky, and starts pushing the rules that he already knows are there.

But this is so hard to do, especially when you work the way that I do, which puts you across the world periodically. Making time for them(kids) is the most important thing we can do as parents. I know its hard, because sometimes we just need a break. But we need to. We need to wrestle. We need to play racket ball. We need to make destroyer ships out of legos and break them apart. We need to just watch Animal Planet and chill sometimes.

Today, was a great reminder of that, and I am very thankful for it.

* Overwhelmed

The things in the back of my mind seem to be pushing forward and disturbing my front burner thoughts - quite annoying. These are the items that are trying to cycle up...

• I still have not bought my brother-in-laws present. Unlike not knowing what I want to get, a completely separate annoyance, I know what I want, but do not yet have it in my possession. We went by the store again today, closed. The last time we went by, closed. They have weird hours and tend to close when they want. My son said they must know when I am coming because they are never closed when Judah wants to go by!
• I have not wrapped ANY gifts!
• I have not addressed any Christmas cards. They have been ready for over a week and I have done nothing more than write the list. I am thinking of cheating this year and just sending them as is, but someone has a voice in the back of my head that tells me how much hand written sentiments are appreciated and I feel compelled to write on them PERSONALLY. (To the voice in my head - you know who you are!!!!)
• I have not taken any continuing education classes this year. My license is up next spring and I need to get my ethics and jurisprudence credits this time. They have some fairly straightforward online courses that would only take me a few hours - but who has a few hours without interruption??
• The dishes need to be done.
• The laundry needs to be folded.
• Should I cook dinner before I take my son to Karate and then reheat quickly after or should I wait to cook until after, which makes us eat rather late?
• My daughter has clearly outgrown her Hello Kitty jeans but keeps finding them in the laundry before I can get them out of site completely...how can I distract her, get them washed and stored without her knowledge?

These are the back burner thoughts for today. :)

"Pagan Christianity"

"Pagan Christianity", by Frank Viola and George Barna has to be one of the best historical accounts of the church that I have read in quite some time. In general, it tries to answer the question, "have you eve wondered why we do what we do in church?" If you have ever asked yourself that question, this is the book for you. You can also check out the website here.

Topics covered are: The Church Building, Order of Worship, Sermons, Pastors, Music, Baptism, Tithing, Christian education, and others. In each topic, the authors give an exhaustive account of the origination, as well as, historical progression to the present day.

My main issue is that the book seems to take on a "holier than thou" approach. Even though the authors are quick to point out that the vast majority of Christians are good, God fearing, compassionate individuals, they still tend to make it feel like if you are not doing it their way (i.e. home church), there is something wrong with you. It should be noted that the authors do differentiate between small groups that meet in homes versus actual home churches. Again, this is an excellent reference book for the history of the church.

Gospel According to Judah....
I am very cautiously of the opinion that a larger body of believers is able to do more good than a much smaller group. Obviously home churches have an advantage in that they do not have to pull from their tithing (sorry giving) to pay a mortgage, pastor, light bill, etc. However, it has been shown historically that getting a vast number together, with a common focus, can have a huge impact on an objective. To me, this is where the current corporate worship settings have a huge advantage. I believe why our congregations' effectiveness are going down hill is mainly due to no accountability with the flock (besides other reasons obviously). Churches allow too much of the pew sitting type to flourish in a congregation. Our focus should be on moving people from "just get them in the door" (evangelism), to "get them involved" (ministry), and finally to "showing others Jesus" (discipleship). Unfortunately, this takes a little bit more accountability than I believe most are willing to answer to.

Problem is, the corporate worship of today is also suffering from an overload of ministries. Churches should cut back on the number of programs and just accept the fact that most of them are not beneficial for their particular congregation. This is very difficult for most to do. Imagine telling an overseas missionary that you are no longer supporting them, so as to allocate resources? Or telling a soup kitchen that since no one has signed up consistently over the last 6 months to volunteer, we will no longer be providing volunteers officially? Stopping a ministry is hard, but no congregation can do all ministries. Churches should take an accurate assessment of what types of ministries the congregation is interested in, as well as, understand the needs of their local community. Volunteer ministries work best when the people that are leading them are passionate about them. This assessment should be done regularly, to see if needs and/or desires have changed.

I think what amazes me is seeing first hand how "different" (new) ministries show their effectiveness, but can not get the proper funding because "their is no room in the budget for it." Other ministries that have been "grandfathered in" tend to get the money, even though they may or may NOT be effective. Again, churches should be regularly assessing their congregation and community, thus adjusting their ministries to fit the needs that are out there. To me, this is a very important purpose of corporate church.

The reality is, a combination of corporate worship where members are expected to be involved, and the use of small groups is an excellent balance. Congregations tend to get the best of both worlds. Churches can distribute money that supports local benevolance, local evangelism, overseas missions, etc. I don't believe anyone can argue the benefits of a corporate worship setting done right. Small groups allow for better spiritual growth forChristians, and an environment that is more favorable for people that Christians are trying to reach out to (non-believers). It is a proven fact that small groups have benefits for both, Christians and non-Christians.

Its blatantly obvious that doing the same thing over and over when it comes to church just isn't bringing non-believers to Christ like it used to. Christians should be looking at new ways to spread God's word, live like Jesus, and worship God in ways that do not go against biblical foundations (Jesus is the son of God, and He died for everyone). We can not be afraid to change.

* Everything is Beautiful

I remember a song from years ago that had the line "everything is beautiful...in its own way." This was not a concept I grasped at the time, and I haven't thought of it in....well a very long time. The notion came upon me the other day when I watched my daughter prance away. She was wearing yet another combination of clothing that caused me mental anguish. (Did I mention that she has climbed up into her closet to retrieve the summer clothes I did not put away high enough? We have now compromised and she is allowed to wear skirts with pants underneath and bathing suit tops only when covered by a long sleeve shirt)

I have learned that she picks out her clothes based on the beauty of the individual items, rather than the combination and overall look. Matching? What is that? Due to this approach we often leave the house in something similar to the following

• Blue jacket
• Light pink long sleeve shirt with a horse, complete with pink stringy tail
• Hot pink Skirt
• black pants/leggings with pink ballet slipper design
• shiny pink "mary jane's" that are neither light pink or hot pink in color

I might also note that not a single pink in that outfit coordinated with any other pink in the outfit. In fact clash comes to mind. She thought she was beautiful. She walked with assurance of her beauty throughout several stores as we did some Christmas shopping. I had to refrain from telling everyone we met that she dressed herself. That I as her mother did provide adequate clothing in matching colors. But as I said I have been practicing my deep breathing and instead told no one, and merely agreed with her that everything was beautiful, that she was beautiful, in her own way.

And she was.

Un-Manly

A couple of days ago MSN had a link to an article entitled, "Top 50 Unmanly Things to Do". From this article, you are conisdered unmanly if you:
49. Shave more than 2 times a week. Really? Most of us have jobs that need for us to look professional, let alone my wife kind of digs that smooth skin!
47. Washing dishes. I think if any of you ask your wives if washing dishes is attractive, they would rank that up there with vaccuuming, and giving the kids a bath!
43. Remember an Anniversary. Seriously? Unmanly?
36. Going to tanning beds. OK, I can see that one.
26. Letting your woman work while you are at home playing the Xbox 360. I agree with this one as well. Being a worthless dirtbag is completely unacceptable.
5. Hitting a woman. Enough said. It is never EVER OK to hit a woman.
And the number 1 thing you ask?
1. Answering anything but" Sure, they look nice honey", when a female asks you if her shoes look cute. Oh, come on. How is this unmanly?

I am sure the article is more for tongue and cheek, but it is a little scary that some would actually believe this junk. Being "manly" requires us guys to do things that usually go against what our culture tends to teach us. Men SHOULD open doors for ladies, and show them all kinds of respect. Men should take care of their ladies in every capacity they (the men) possibly can. Men SHOULD show that they appreciate all that their lady does for them.

Being a man is getting rid of that junk in your head that says things like "I am a man. I don't do dishes." or "Your the wife. The kids are your problem." There ar a litany of others. These comments are nothing more than insecurity issues. To be truthful, they are more on the order of being unmanly than a lot of the things in this list.

Guys, treat your woman right. Make her feel like a woman. Make her feel appreciated. Make her feel loved. And if you have sons, teach them how to do this by treating their moms that way.

* The Beginning of Winter

We have returned from our week long trek into the world of Thanksgiving visits. Both Judah and myself hold fiercely to our family gatherings, so that requires going both places. This is something we used to attempt on Thanksgiving itself until our son was a toddler, when we then switched to going to the second place on Friday, revamping the alternating pattern used by most couples. With Thanksgiving over my brain has decided it is winter, a few weeks before the official date. I also now have permission to decorate the house for Christmas and play holiday music whenever I want.

We began decorating Sunday night and succeeded in getting the trees assembled and lights on. Judah's tree took much less effort since he rejoices in jerking it out of the box in one (three foot) piece and plunking it into the stand - DONE. Both children were very much into helping and staked their respective gender claims, my son took the yellow and black tipped branches and my daughter the red and pink, leaving me the green, white, and brown to place into my larger than three foot tree. When the time for lights came they were both still enthused about decorating and wishing to help. I must now state that I am a bit particular about the storage of our Christmas lights and have repackaged them each year as they originally came so as to not have to untangle anything. It has been a great system. Thirty seconds into the lights my daughter had already removed an unapproved twisty tie and lost it while not moving from her place, something only a three year old can do. She was removed from her post. This may sound harsh but it is the way of things. :) She was not beaten, just demoted. Perhaps she can reapply for the position next year. My son held the post of twisty tie unwrapper beautifully. Not losing one of them through the remainder of the process. His method was unorthodox but effective. As each tie came off he twisted it into a man/alien figure that marched around the dining room table. He proudly took the twisted figure into show Judah in the other room. His father was decidedly reserved since he has known me far longer and has also been demoted from Christmas light twisty tie removal in the past. In a hushed tone Judah asked his son

"Does your mother know you did that?"

Bless them both. :) Admittedly I nearly fell over the first time I saw the figure, but I have been working on my deep breathing, and he definitely wasn't losing any.

We are doing the remainder of the decorating today, ornaments. Pray for us.

On another topic.....

It snowed here yesterday, which in my brain was perfect since it was December 1 and seemed to symbolically agree with my notion that December should be a winter month. Nothing stuck but it was beautiful to behold. The kids came out of karate in the middle of it. My son ran around and stuck out his tongue and generally looked so stereotypical that it was adorable. When we were driving later we turned a corner and hit a larger flurry that took my breath away. Fat fluffy flakes swirling around - perfect. I felt like Elijah in 1 Kings 19"...for the Lord is about to pass by.... and after (all the big stuff like earthquakes and fire)... there came a gentle whisper." I am thankful that God passed us by yesterday.

May He give you eyes to see the same.

*Quirky Quote

I am revisiting what I intended to be a regular occurrence. My daughter once again demonstrated the concrete thinking of a three year old. I mentioned that someone was going to come by the house and my son was having trouble figuring out whom I was talking about. He likes to be prepared for all visitors - no surprises please (unless it is grandma). This lady had been by the house before, but previously had come with a friend. The original pairing is essential due to my daughter's subsequent explanation. The lady coming had longer hair, which had previously been very nicely groomed by my daughter and some kitchen utensils (curse Disney and its use of a fork in the Little Mermaid for hair brushing - we can not get past that) The friend had short hair and was therefore not so attended by my daughter and the utensils. So who was coming by our house later?

"You know.....the one with hair between her shoulders"

"Oh"

Material Cooperation with Intrinsic Evil

So, I get on the internet, and the first thing I see on MSN is the title on an article: "Priest: No communion for Obama supporters. "

I am really not sure where to begin.... Probably the only good thing about this article is the phrase: "material cooperation with intrinsic evil". If nothing else, the guy deserves kudos for that!

Seriously though, this is absolutely amazing. To think that someone can actually say that someone else can not take communion? Seriously? This guy just doesn't get it. No one has the right to stop somone else from taking communion. No one. It just lends credance to a lot of people's complete misunderstanding of scripture, this guy included.

Communion is about remembering what Jesus did for everyone, including people that support abortion rights. The act of communion should be done as a meal, the most biblical way of taking communion. One should focus on Jesus, and Him being the final Sacrificial Lamb for the entire world. We should be teaching our children (while taking communion, not waiting for them to be dismissed to children's worship, ugh..) why we are doing this. We should go all the way back to the Exodus, where this amazing spiritual ceremony originated. We should be walking around the worship hall, asking for forgiveness to those friends who we have upset, and have not talked it over with. We should be thanking God for the life we have, because of what He did.

Communion is not a political issue. I ask you, study it for yourself. No one, has the right to take that from anyone else.

* Report Card Day

Today was report card day and I did not see it coming. Being the nerd that I was in school, I kept track of such essential days. Looking at all those matching letters gave me such a sense of peace. :) I find report card day a mixed day for me now. These are my thoughts...

• I have no control over the outcome of these grades and it is occasionally hard to let go of that and let him succeed or not all on his own.
• Thankfully he is my son and mostly the grades are terribly similar to those I experienced through school, although we are young yet and still get about half of our assessment under the heading of conduct. There is a bit of variance here between myself and my son. I was never a first grade boy. I was, from most reports, a terribly well behaved child. My son, while good, is a first grade boy. I have learned that he is naturally louder and more wiggly that I ever was. (Although apparently I liked to dance in public and needed to be reminded a lot about the appropriateness of that behavior - this by the same woman who encourages my daughter to 'shake her bootay' whenever the mood strikes, public or not- see previous posts on grandmotherliness) This dancing in public never trickled into school.
• I want my children to do well in school but not to feel as though only one grade will make me happy. (And then I wonder if I will be able to handle it if I ever do see another letter on a report card - man am I pitiful!!!!)
• Interestingly enough - I really do look at the conduct with more feeling than the subject grades. Is he respectful to his teacher? To his classmates? Does he work consistently and with good organizational skills?
• Then it occurs to me, that I really do want to raise someone that is liked and respected by others. Someone whom others want to be around. Someone whom other parents don't mind having over to their home. Someone who looks out for the interest of others, who loves God and follows Him voluntarily. (and with understanding of that decision)
• The behavior is more important than the subjects and the letters that come with them.

But I still get a thrill out of seeing the letters (one of which came with a plus today :) )

* Sweetness Among Chaos

While Judah is in China I get to play the part of single parent, which is no small thing, and my heart goes out to those who experience this for much longer than I. On the whole we do well, with only a small increase in general unruliness. With no dad to wrestle or tackle there is some pent up energy that needs expression. Add in any normal three year old and you get a mix of over dramatic whining alternating with frantic running in circles through the house. I have been blessed with some pretty good natured kids, so most of the time a snack or reading a book will quiet any overload. I will also admit that greater than 85% of the time all is peaceful in the kingdom, with a dancing princess and jousting knight defeating imaginary opponents.

The other 15% can make me want a beer - and I don't even like beer. It smells bad, why anyone would force down the first one amazes me. I have not met anyone who said the first beer tasted fabulous - so why drink the second sip? I did gamely try to drink wine once - in an effort to increase my sophistication - a miserable failure, I mostly just ate the dark chocolate that was supposed to help bring out the flavor in the wine. Bring on more chocolate, I'll skip the wine. Anyway.....Many of our recent dramas surround the issue of wardrobe. Both children are in denial of the season change as I have said before. My daughter is still wearing a bikini under her clothes everywhere, just in case we happen upon a pool. My son also is more than likely to wander out of the house in shorts and flip flops. This morning my daughter stood naked at the top of the stairs weepily telling me that she could find nothing to wear - I have no idea why not, most of her clothes were strewn across the floor for her viewing pleasure, she needed only to look down.

But this post is about the sweet moments among the chaos that is life with small people. Moments that fade quickly and must be grasped intentionally when you stumble on them. Sunday morning we went to worship as usual, with my daughter wandering off to sit with friends and in a generous (or selfish?) moment I actually let her sit elsewhere until children's worship time. This allowed me to just hang with my son. I had one of the best worship times in recent memory. God deserves our best but all too often does not get it from me, however my heart was so content that morning I think I got a step closer to where I was supposed to be. My son is at a perfect height for me right now. If he stands in front of me my hands can rest just over his mid-chest. This allows me to feel the vibration of his singing through my fingers without actually hearing the words come out of his mouth. He sang all the songs, which means he was paying attention. He was still during prayer and focused on the speaker. He did not wiggle, he talked about the communion, he was totally in that moment, giving his pure non-doubting heart to God, and through him I was able to do the same. One day he will be taller and my hands won't rest in that same spot but I know that I will continue to see God through him.

I admit that right now my daughter causes me more drama than my son, the joy of her being three. Three is my current least favorite age, having not yet gotten past first grade I have no comments yet on the teen years, but many teen-age moms make faces when reminiscing on the threes. My princess can be sooo cute and adorable and all that sugar and spice that a princess should be. Unfortunately it also occasioanlly comes wrapped in a girly screechy ball of whine. This mornings wardrobe drama for example. Two hours later as I lay in the dentist chair she watched intently as the hygienist cleaned my teeth - all the while stroking my hair and face, massaging the arm she stood by and occasionally holding my hand - just to "take care of (me)." I will remember the hair stroking later when she defiantly refuses to wear long sleeves to the gym, preferring a tank top, skirt and "clop-clops." Luckily she is still small enough to man-handle into the appropriate cold-weather clothing whether she wants it or not. One must be quick with the car seat straps though - if you leave her to do it herself she is likely to get that long sleeve off before you get in the front seat.

The chaos really is sweet.

Sunday in China

Its almost 7, and pretty much everybody that normally reads this is still asleep. I thought I would share what I usually do on a Sunday over here in China.

Michelle and I spend our Sundays at church. This includes: worshipping God, lunch and fellowship with family and friends, afternoon nap, and then small groups, trying to put some responsibility on ourselves to teaching our children about Jesus. It hasn't been until the last few years that I actually look forward to Sundays. I love Sundays. I really do, look forward to Sundays.

Sundays over here are a little different for me. I get up, eat breakfast, read some scripture, listen to some podcasts, and go out to experience the city. Xi'an has over 8 million people, at least 5 major universities, a couple of defense contractors, and numerous companies for manufacturing. Most people go out to do their shopping on Sunday. Therefore, this is a perfect time to experience the culture. It's a little difficult if you can't speak the language, but it is still worth it.

Today, some co-workers and I came across a small park with carnival rides. Now, I didn't ride any of these rides, as they were definitely not up to OSHA standards, but watching the people was enjoyment enough. Kids over here still beg their parents for cotton candy. Couples cuddle close on the tilt-a-whirl. Elderly couples walk around, holding hands, watching the children play. Carnival workers still try all the normal tactics to get that money out of your pocket.

After the park, we headed down the sidewalk, just walking. Shops are all over the place, with clerks trying to get you to come in side. People are every where, and there is no sense of personal space. Americans stick out a bit, so we are easy pickings for clerks handing out gift certificates, as well as homeless people begging for money.

We ended up at a Starbucks, sipping coffee in front of a nice fire. I actually passed 2 Starbucks, 3 McDonalds, 1 Dairy Queen, 2 KFCs, and 2 Pizza Huts in the 3 plus hours we were out.

I have to say I am completely fascinated with experiencing the culture. Don't get me wrong: I can't wait for my Sunday afternoon nap on my couch, with my son waking me up, wanting to go outside and play. But right now, while God allows me to experience this absolutely amazing culture, I am completely taken aback.

I think we all need to experience different cultures on a routine basis. Like I said, I love my Sundays, but what if I never experienced other Sundays? How would I evangelize to others, without experiencing something different? What if all I knew was going to O'Charley's with my family and friends? My friends don't need to know Jesus: they already do. My son quotes scripture for goodness sake. I can't begin to tell you how uncomfortable I was walking around the streets today. I wanted to be on my couch so bad. But alas, God has chosen that I spend this Sunday 7500 miles from my couch. I pray that I will learn from this experience.

I pray, that everyone else's Sunday was as awesome as mine.

Blessings,


J-

Jesus Is not a Socialist

More than likely the bluntness of this post is due to the lack of sleep I have been getting while here in China. Of course, being able to wallow in my disdain for how the election went today may have something to do with it as well.

As much as liberals would like to think that Christianity is an early form of socialism, it just isn't true. Jesus focused His teachings on people understanding who He was, and helping those in NEED. Christianity does not teach taking from the rich and giving to those who do not have AS MUCH. There is a serious difference. Many of you know people in need. Friends that need relationships. Guys that need drugs to overcome depression. Girls that need to to overcome eating disorders. Couples that need to work through their disagreements. And without a doubt, there are people that need bread and water. My own wife has met these last people personally. I have been less fortunate to step over these people going into a subway.

Jesus also teaches that we are to "Come to the Father". Most scholars have taught a litany of sermons on this meaning that centers around the idea that we, as Christians, have to CHOOSE to be with God. Christians must CHOOSE to give. One of the greatest gifts that God has given us is the ability to CHOOSE to either be with Him, or not. Allowing a government to CHOOSE what is best for us, has to be as far from Christianity as I can think. When the ability to CHOOSE is removed from our nature, we will in turn, focus on ourselves. In other words, self gratification.

Oh yeah, one last thing. I ate lunch with a guy that works for a fortune 500 company before I came to China (where pretty much every successful company in America is going due to high taxes.... but that is for another story). He explained why taxing profitable companies more doesn't work: "You can tax us all you want. We will charge our customers more to pay for the tax. We are still going to get the money to pay for our costs as well as profit. The consumer pays the tax, not us." The next time you read your cellular phone bill, you will see this as federal and state taxes....

* An Atypical Topic (for me)

Today, as with the rest of the nation, I am thinking more about politics. Large chunks of the nation spend a great deal of time thinking about politics, while mostly it gives me a headache. Judah is by far the most political of the family. However I have been thinking more about it lately, hardly surprising since the TV will talk about nothing else, even on Nick Junior it seems. Can I say how much I am ready for the election to be over, just so I no longer have to watch commercials, listens to the recent polling statistics, and look at yard signs.

It pains me to see how polarized folks can get about politics. As someone who leans right in what is often derisively labeled the "Bible Belt" I am not outnumbered in my community. However, even here in a classically red area I am hearing more angry political words directed "my way." My views are labeled and implied to be wrong, mean spirited, and unloving. How can I not want to support the poor and underprivileged? My response is that I absolutely want to do those things. When did leaning right become equated with not wanting to be charitable? The difference - I want to be charitable myself, and not let the government do it on my behalf. I believe that charity is a moral obligation, not a government obligation. I do recognize that overall we are not living up to that moral standard and the government has "had" to step in and do it for us. This is unfortunate. I think of a quote from Star Trek Insurrection (note the nerdiness of my reference) about making machines to do the work of a man, takes something from the man. I think the same about large government. When we allow the government to do something we should do, it takes something from us.

I have read some commentary ranting against the right. About how I do not want to help others. I want to hoard my money and not share. In an ungracious moment I want to yell at them and ask where is their generosity in action? Many who shout about "me" not wanting to share, don't seem to share either. They are happy with governmental programs helping those in need, but don't personally know anyone in need themselves. Do they know a single mother struggling to feed their child on minimum wage and food stamps? Do they know anyone actually receiving assistance form these programs they love? Anyone? (To those leaning left who really do sink into the lives of those in need I apologize, you are not who irritates me)

I have recently also been trying to explain the political process to my son. Since he is the son of a guy who has strong political opinions he naturally knows who we are voting for. He announced this to the polling room during my vote, despite the signs telling us not to mention a candidate's name within a certain radius. We went to someones house for dinner the other day. They had a sign in their yard indicating they supported the "other guy." My son was shocked! Why would they do that? My simplistic explanation - that neither man is "bad" or "wrong" - that everyone truly wants the same for our country - peace, growth, freedom. However these men have two different ideas about how to get there. I wish some grow-ups would see it that way. I understand that issues are more complicated than that, but down at the basic level we all want the same things. Nobody wants citizens living in painful poverty and inhumane circumstances - nobody - either right or left. Nobody wants war. Nobody wants suffering and violence in our cities. There may be some programs I do not want, but the desire for life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness is still true. Therefore the general meanness in politics irritates me. Why we can't just disagree without it being a character assassination is beyond me. I can only be responsible for myself and living out what God has asked us to do in His word, even if folks think I am close-minded and uneducated to still be believing in such a God. I pray that folks in this country can get to a place where differences in opinion do not require anger, that more people will invest in those in need themselves and realize that shouting from the outside does not solve the problems.

So this has been an atypical post for me - the non-political one. But this is where I am today. Now that this is off my chest I can go back to what I prefer - random preciousness.

* A Halloween Observation

Yet another comment on the inherent difference between boys and girls. When my son was three I bought him this great pumpkin sweat suit to wear around Halloween. Nothing too over the top, orange pants and a jack-o-lantern face on the shirt. The orange hood has one small leaf on it. He was adorable. I have been waiting for some time for my daughter to fit into this outfit so I can have comparison pictures. Unfortunately she will have NOTHING to do with it. This is, I believe, related to the difference between three-year-old boys and girls. My son cared nothing about his clothes at three. His wardrobe was dictated completely by me, except for a few small statements by his father, such as "You can not dress him in sweater vests!" Years later he does have some opinions, mostly as it relates to the "coolness" of the object in question. Polo shirts? Uncool. Dragon shirts? Very cool. Unfortunately the school dress code does not allow for dragon shirts.

My daughter has a lot to say about her wardrobe. She is currently in denial of the fall and intentionally dresses in shorts and tank tops in the morning. This requires us to have conversations and wardrobe adjustments to leave the house. I will have to go in there and hide the summer clothes from her. This is a repeat of what I had to do last year. (Notice she has had opinions about her clothes for a long time) I happily got out the pumpkin outfit a few days ago. She refused - vehemently. I am still hoping to get a picture but my expectations are low.

Now if the pumpkin was only pink....

* Practicing Patience

Today I am practicing patience. Right now my son is finishing his school project. As I sit here I can hear cutting and I have no control over the outcome. I gave him the supplies and am sitting in another room. There are several things going through my mind right now...

• I truly want him to do this project on his own.
• I want him to be proud of it.
• I want him to take it to school tomorrow and do well. (I want the teacher to grasp that he did this himself while simultaneously being impressed)
• I must not go in there and take over....
• I miss school....
• I am such a nerd.

Goggles

"Distance makes the heart grow fonder". In other words, if you are away from your sweetie for an extended period of time, when you are together again, the initial time is so awesome.


I have heard this phrase for some 20 plus years now, and it is absolutely true. There was a similar phrase that kind of poked fun at it, and it can be summed up as "oggle goggles". For the men, I am sure you know what I mean. What this tries to represent is a description of how the beauty of your lovely tends to grow the more you are away from her. Alas, when you are back in her presence, the magnificant beauty is not near the glamour you thought she was.

I got home on Thursday evening, after a 3 week trip to China. All the way home, I kept thinking about Michelle, and how beautiful she was. I imagined my son and daughter (the cutest things in the world) running to tackle me once they saw me.

As usual, I was not disappointed. Michelle was as beautiful as always. The kids were just as excited to see me as I was them. There is nothing cooler than seeing your little ones take your bags away from you, and carry them themselves.

This is what it is all about. Not being disappointed with your spouse, ever. Wrestling with your little ones, because you want to, even though it is WAY past their bedtime. God is good, all the time.

* Blogging in the Moment

Contrary to my normal practice I am going to blog in the moment. Mostly stuff happens, it is cute, it is interesting, and it would make a great blog. It is then promptly forgotten. Mostly you see blogs that I can actually remember. It saddens me that some really cool moments are lost, but perhaps that is not so bad, so that I do not overload my loyal readership of 7. However my son just walked up and said a pretty cool thing and since I was already sitting at the computer and avoiding cleaning up something I thought I would blog about it. This blog will afford me another 20 minute avoidance. If my mother was typing it would be much shorter, but my skills do not match hers. I still need to look at the keys and primarily use only five to seven fingers, thus statistically slowing me down by 30-50%.

We are watching another little guy today. He plays well with our two and they all entertain each other so much that my personal input is only needed for food preparation at regular intervals and occasional territory disputes. Since this little guy does not live under our roof he does not know the subtle rules, which is only natural. My son just came to give report (a nicer way of saying tattling) and informed me that the little guy said the "s-word."

When I grew up we were not allowed to say lots of things. Real curses were unheard of so our rules consisted of not saying things like 'stupid' and 'butt.' I still do not much say either of those words, just like I feel guilty for talking on the phone after nine or answering the phone before it rings twice. Both holdovers from childhood. My children now live in my version of ruledom. I do not know what the teenage rules of phone and curfew will look like, but the "bad word" rules are essentially the same. I am not sure what my children would do if they actually heard the words that will get you an 'R' rating for language, but they do know that we don't say 'butt' - we say 'bottom.' (A side note to that rule - my mother, the inventor of we do not say 'butt' is apparently now okay with the phrase 'shake your boo-tay' popularized on some shows - another commentary on the grandmother rule spoken of in the previous post - it may have to do with the cuteness of my daughter when she demonstrates the phrase, which must be ten times cuter than I was because that would have been 'inappropriate' when I was a child - I admit my daughter is adorable, I don't stop her either) Anyway, the offensive word that our little guest used to prompt my son's report?

"Shut-up"

Oh the horror.

* Quirky Quotes

I have been commenting a lot lately on the activities of my son, and thereby neglecting my daughter - who really is an amazing little thing in her own right! Today's quote is from her. The quote itself is not much, but the attitude behind it was palpable. Unfortunately attitude does not always translate well into written form but I will try my best. She is quite a little princess, a princess who does not wait silently in her tower window, rather one who is scaling down the side without fear, probably without a rope or other safety device either.

In order to properly set up the quote it must be mentioned that she was in the presence of a grandmother. (My mother in law having come in town for a few days due to her son being in China - to hang out and do the fun stuff that grandmothers do) Grandmothers are a great blessing in life. I personally feel blessed to still have a grandmother of my own and I am continually thankful that my children get to spend so much time with their grandmothers. It is however necessary to note that a grandmother was present because the words would not have worked on a mother and the princess knows it.

Grandmothers are soft. There must be a latent gene that manifests only after the birth of a first grandchild. I know from personal experience and from Judah's report of his own childhood that neither of our children's grandmothers were this soft when they only wore the "mother" hat. Great and loving mothers, caring, nurturing, and involved. Just not overly soft. My mom never gave me cookies before dinner or bought me "just a little something" EVERY time we went to a store. Whining NEVER worked, and I knew it. This is a lesson that my children also know about mothers. My son can quote with all the lackluster monotoneness he can muster (while rolling his eyes most likely) "Whining won't get what you want, it only gets you trouble."

My daughter has recently acquired the skill of being able to fasten her own car seat. A skill that most non-child having adults can't perform. Quite a complicated buckle system, one that make me very happy. During one car ride with my mother in law, she announced that she couldn't do it. I know she can, she knows she can. But why do something for yourself when you can convince a grandmother to do it for you? The grandmother, being a grandmother, immediately turned around to help her. I calmly said not to worry about it. "She does have the skill, we can wait"

With every ounce of whine and melodrama in her body, and almost at 70% of her full volume my daughter then stated..

"I have LOST the SKILL!!!!"

As though this is some precious treasure she has misplaced to her sorrow and disappointment. This skill remained lost for the next two days.

Shockingly it returned last night when there was no longer a grandmother in the car.

"Jesus Wants to Save Christians"

Rob Bell teams up with Don Golden to write this short, but very informative book. Its written in the same style as Velvet Elvis and Sex God, and it is about as long. As usual, the end notes are as informative as the book itself. I finished it in a day, in a room at the Shangri La in China. The irony to this will only be seen by those who read the book.

Bell/Golden spend a lot of time focused on the Exile, and for good reason. I think Christians (myself included) don't focus enough on the exile of the Jews. We tend to focus more on worship style, instrumental music, what to wear to church, what to give this Sunday, will I be able to fill my SUV after worship, who is going to show up at small group, etc. They go into much more literal detail with statistics that will absolutely astound you. The book continues to marry the exile with communion, again something most 21st Christians just don't get. There is more to church than just showing up. During the discussion of communion (Euchurist) they ask one amazing question: "Is it really possible to take communion in the presence of someone you are mad at?" We miss the point, when we ignore the thousands- year-old meanings behind the exile, communion, and the death of Jesus. Bell/Golden do an amazing job describing how all of this is put together.

I do have slight issue with some of the authors' "literal" stretches of Biblical stories. True, they do make a good point the way they are told in the book, but I felt they sometimes came a little too close to what some would see as "taking out of context". You can call that my traditional upbringing speaking, and I will be fine with that at the present.

Bell/Golden also have a discussion on the current state of affairs of the US government. The reader is bombarded by statistics of "better use of funding" on the several trillion dollars being currently spent on the War in Iraq. There are even more statistics on what an average American's daily spending could do for someone in the middle of Africa. I feel the point behind this, is to show that the US is the "empire" on the likes of Egypt and Babylon. This I don't deny, but the reader is in someway left feeling that ALL Americans have no pity in wasting stuff, or that ALL Americans never share any of the things they purchase, or that ALL Americans don't appreciate what they just ate for dinner tonight. I personally know plenty of millionares that provide seemingly endless amounts of money to people that are in need in all kinds of different ways. These millionares would never want the attention or feel "entitled" in any way. I also know of numerous middle class Americans that do plenty without the giving of money. So, on this topic I take particular issue. It could have been written differently, as to not make the reader feel that ALL Americans have a sense of entitlement to the things they possess, believe, vote, work, live, etc.

The authors make very good points however. It is very difficult for someone who doesn't need anything to follow Jesus. Why should they? Young, rich, Americans are the hardest to evangilize to. This, I do agree with. They also discuss that entitlement is a word that Americans tend to throw around way too easily. Americans tend to say things like, "I worked hard for this job", or "I deserve that new car." Entitlement is a word that has no place in Christianity. They also talk about how that God is not against "things", as long as the purchase of those "things" does not in some way "enslave" someone else.

The book is worth the read, but if you have a 50" HD television in your living room, you may take issue to some of the comments.....

* Surviving another Migraine

Yesterday I trudged through another migraine. Nothing too unusual around here. Unfortunately it came on me unexpectedly and away from my medicine so I could not take the meds when I needed to.(A side note to myself to put them in my purse) My children were terribly cooperative in my recuperation. My daughter took her nap for two hours and my son did not complain about the extra TV he got to watch at volume setting 2. He did eventually climb the stairs, peek under the pillow over my head to say in a whisper "I really am very hungry Mom."

Thankfully I was functioning better after some rest and was able to feed my children. My favorite part of the experience was right when we walked through the door after school. My son knew I had a migraine, since it was the topic of our conversation during the drive. Nap was moved up 30 minutes and that needs mental preparation. My kids like to know what is coming their way and even a 30 minute change is perceptible to them, thus the discussion on the drive home. Fortunately or unfortunately, this is not the first migraine that they have experienced with me. Therefore the comment I got when we arrived home.... In all innocence and concern my son told me...

"You can go ahead and throw up in the bathroom down here Mom. It's closer."

"That's OK buddy, I'll go ahead and use my bathroom upstairs."

Such a sweet boy.

* One for the Tissues

Children are a joy and a blessing. (They can also be very frustrating and make you think that shooting steam out of your ears is not so cartoonishly impossible after all) I wanted to get this moment down because I did not want to forget the sweet innocence, and later when I am very frustrated perhaps the knowledge that this moment existed I will take a breath instead of shooting steam.

A few nights ago when I was putting my son to bed he asked who would take care of him if I died. We discussed that dad would do a great job even if I was not here. This led into discussions on when people die, young vs old, through sickness, age or injury. Being the planner that he is he also wanted to know who would take care of him if both Judah and myself died at the same time. We determined that he would likely live in Chattanooga since that is where most of the other relatives, grandparents etc, live. It was also critical for him to know who would take care of him during the 90 minutes it took for them to get here. We had a lovely discussion on how many people in town love him and his sister and he would be well taken care of by some friends of ours should that unlikely and unfortunate turn of events occur.

I was very proud of myself for handling the conversation in all the seriousness that he felt and without breaking down into a snubby mess at the thought of not seeing him grow up. I wanted to assure him that he would be fine without me, and that I would be happy in heaven waiting for him there. Now for tissues...he then told me that when I die he will hold my hand so he can go up with me to heaven, because he doesn't want to be here without me.

I thank God that my son loves me and that right now he has no fear of dying and going to heaven. I am also glad that we can talk about heaven in our home as a really cool place that has better toys than we have here on earth. That God wants us to join Him there and that it is a real place to be trusted in, not just a fanciful hope. That conversation reminded me why I shouldn't brush off his concerns, and why I should answer every one of his thousands of questions each day. If I had brushed off the beginning of the conversation with "don't worry about it" and left the room...I would have missed a perfect moment.

Conflict Resolution

I have a question for you: Are you competitive, or relational?

Michelle and I attended the ZOE conference a couple of weekends ago, and I attended a conflict management seminar. For those of you who know me really well, stop laughing.... The teacher (Steve Joiner from the Institute for Confilct Management at Lipscomb University) bascially said that conflict is a function of tasks(ministry) on the y axis of a graph, and relationships on the X axis of the graph. Competitive people focus a lot of time and energy on things that are important to them (i.e. ministry) at the expense of relationships. "We are doing it my way, or else". The relaionship people focus their energy on, well relationships with others in regards to things that are important to them. However, the extreme of this is something like, "I am fine with what ever you want to do, let's just continue having lunch on Tuesdays, OK?"

I loved this class. I have to say, I haven't been this entertianed in a long time. Here are some highlights I thought I would share.

1) Giving in to a competitive person, or essentially giving up, only increases the chances that the person will NOT back down at a later point of conflict. In fact, the person is more likely to be even more competitive, because they know if they don't back down, they will get their way.

2) Compromising is almost always a "lose - lose" situation in a conflict, not a "win - win." He actually quoted an annonymous elder as saying, "as long as everyone is just a little upset that's OK." Good grief!

3) The goal of any organization is to be collaborative. In this situation, tasks are just as important as relationships. Go back to my X Y graph, and this would be a one to one relationship. I am just as focused on the task (minstry) as I am the relationships (those invovled in that ministry). I like that. That's pretty cool.

I think if we were all honest with each other, it would be safe to say we don't enjoy conflict. Even me! For what ever the reason may be, we all like to get along. But instead of using a lot of energy on worrying about the conflict that is going to happen, we should be mature, face the situation, and have an open dialogue.

I finished a book by Erwin McManus, "Unstoppable Force" this week. If you do ANYTHING in a church, you should read this book. In short, he states that conflict is actually healthy for a growing system (i.e. church). On this paticular topic, he said that if you are not having conflicts, then your church is probably not growing. That is an interesting point.... A church should NOT inhibit having healthy discussions that involve disagreeing. He also mentions that having a clear focus, vision, and specific objectives also helps in dealing with conflict. In other words, "this is the direction we are going. We would love to use your energy and passion with our goals. But if you can not agree to them, then you should probably find somewhere else to worship." Wow.

I'll be honest, I am just now starting to appreciate these concepts. Yeah, I am a little hard headed. But the stuff we went over in that session was really cool. What do you think about this stuff?

* Stalling

What I need to be doing right now is packing/cleaning/getting ready to go. What I am doing is blogging. I am an amazing procrastinator. I skate by at the last moment on many things. This was frustrating for mother as she watched me go through school and frustrating for Judah now. Sadly for them both, the point to get it done early was lost on me as I always did get it done at the last minute. Had there been times when the school work didn't get done I may have learned the lesson, but it ALWAYS came together. With in the next hour I need to clean the house, pack for the weekend, and feed the kids. Why clean the house if you have no time? (Note - none of you thought the feeding the kids thing was negotiable did you?) Because coming home to a dirty house in unacceptable, besides I know I will get it done. Actually I have about 58 minutes now....

57:45

57:30

:)

China

Well, I am back in China. I actually had a pretty good flight this time. It took right at 24 hours from getting on my first plane, to landing in Xi'an. I'll be honest, traveling to China is not for everyone, but it is part of my job. Thankfully, I only fly over 3-4 times a year.

When I am not working, I have a lot of down time. People just don't speak english over here. I remember one weekend, where I didn't say one word. Literally. I went from Friday evening, to Sunday evening without saying one word. It sounds a little strange, and I wouldn't recommend it on a frequent basis, but it was actually rather refreshing.

I also read a lot. I don't read much at home, outside of preparing for bible classes. I really try to spend time with my family, and see reading as taking away from that. I should be better about my time. I know. Anyway, I usually knock out about 2-3 books per trip. I usually have a few current Christian books, as well as, a science fiction book (usually Dune). I know, its a weird mix.

My last trip, I started listening to podcasts. Again, this is something that I do primarily here in China. My excuse is the same as above. No time.

Those really close to Michelle and myself know that we can make some rather interesting decisions. We do what we can to pray about them, but for the most part, we don't really THINK about them too much. We talk to each other about them. Michelle is an amazing person, and always has a hand for the obvious. I tend to look at things political. I also try to understand what someone else is thinking. I love our conversations.

Coming to China allows me to get my focus back. Reality is, we all need to take a break and just spend time with God. Go out in the woods for a few days. Get a hotel, and put the "do not disturb sign" on the door. We need to unplug from the internet. Cut our phones off. And then open our bibles. When I am over here, I am somewhat forced to do these things. And yet, I look forward to it. Amazingly, some of my best classes have been written while I was sitting at the pool on the third floor. Some of my best thoughts were given to me while listening to a podcast when I am working out. Some of my best clarity in decisions has been achieved when I just sat in my room for a few hours.

Its hard to take a break from reality. Trust me I know. Michelle is one of the most amazing women I know for putting up with me leaving the country so frequently. The kids are fed. The house is clean. Decisions are made. Life goes on. She doesn't get a break the way that I do. I try to allow for her to have her "scrapbook weekends", and women's retreats. I am full aware that I get away more often than she does. I don't need anyone reminding me of that fact.

Truth is, I would rather be at home. I would rather get attacked by my princess ninja and her brother "the dragon". I would rather be making pens, talking to my wife, while she sat on the steps in the garage. At the same time, I need this. I need to be forced to just listen to God. Currently in my life, it is very difficult for me to choose to be silent with God. I have too many responsibilities. I have too many things I would rather be doing. Maybe I am making excuses becuase I am afraid of the answers I might hear. However, if flying 24 hours is what it takes, then that's what I'll do.

See you in a few.

Accepting Help

We studied John 13: 1-17 last night in class. I had always looked at this passage as "the way" to be like Jesus. Put others before yourself. "Its not about me". I thought I would share probably the most interesting look at this passage from our study from last night. Its something I had never looked at before. I think it is also something, that most men struggle with.

It all starts in verse 8 when Peter tells Jesus, "no, you are not going to wash my feet." If you are like me, serving others is a blessing. In fact, it is easy to serve others. One man commented last night how that serving others is like a "natural high" to him. But, how easy is it for us to BE SERVED? That is the topic that Peter is getting at. Think about: "Jesus, are you really going to wash my feet? I don't think so. I mean, you're Jesus. You can't wash my feet....." But Jesus very politely tells him that if he doesn't allow Him (Jesus) to wash his (Peter) feet, then he (Peter) can have nothing to do with Him (Jesus). Whoa.... Wait a minute.....

In this passage, Jesus is not only showing that you have to be a servant, but he also teaches Peter that you have to allow others to serve you. This kind of flies in the face of being proud for being self relient. Many of us (my self included) don't care too much for recieving help (well, asking for help is probably a better description). From a guy's point of view it comes across as being weak. The problem with that train of thought, is that we stop relying on people, think we can do things for ourselves, and eventually take Jesus out of the equation all together. I can do things for myself thank you very much. It sounds great. But what is the motivation behind that train of thought? Jesus is teaching Peter that you must allow others to serve you as well, so that you don't stop relying on Me (Jesus).

Look at a different way: Somebody talks about "relying on God" throughout their daily life. However, when their neighbor asks if they need help building that fence in the backyard they say, "no thanks. I got it." It may seem like a simple thing, but a cumumlative account of little things makes a huge difference in the long run. I am going to speak for myself here: usually when I say I am going to rely on God, what I am really saying is that I want Him to give me the strength to do it myself, because I don't want to have to ask someone for help. I think another way of looking at it, is if everyone were servants, who gets served?

I think this concept is going to be difficult for a lot of the 4-7 people that read this blog! It is for me, and I didn't really like it when we started talking about last night. Truth is, I still don't like it. I kind of like the fact that I am self-reliant, but I can also see how that kind of thinking can lead to being prideful in some areas of my life. I can see how easy it would be to eventually not rely on God on certain parts of my life.

Serving, and allowing others to serve you goes hand in hand. Too much of one or the other is not a good thing. Try this: ask somebody for help for anything in the next few days, for no apparent reason what so ever. At the same time, help somebody with something for no apparent reason what so ever. Any takers on what is going to be easier?

Movie Night

I forgot my lunch yesterday, and had to go to the mall to eat. Well, I actually got my lunch out of the frig, but left it on the stove while I was getting my stuff together. Michelle called, and reminded me I left it. I got all the way to work, pulled my back pack out of the car, walked to my my office, and still didn't know I left it on the oven. Anyway, I went to the mall for another reason as well. Ironman came out on DVD yesterday! So I went by and got an HDMI cable that I have been saving for some time now, and then headed to the movie store. I picked up the movie (it has really cool metal case), fully aware I would be the savior when I got home.
I called Michelle before I left work and told her about my plan for a movie night. She was so excited, because she knew how happy the kids would be. She then called me back, and said she could order pizza on line! How cool is that?!?! Now, that last phrase may give a way how out of touch she and I are about 21st century technology. Its funny: we seem to be on the cutting edge with some things, but with others we couldn't care less.
I get home, and the kids meet me at the door as usual. I hand my son the bag wih the movie in it. He opens it up and screams, "IRONMAN!"
He had completed all of his school assignments by lunch, and was waiting on me to get home to finish his reading assignments. For some unknown reason, he likes to do his reading assignments with me, not Michelle. Did I mention he was in his pjs all day? I love home schooling.
I sit him down behind the TV with his reading book, while I begin to rewire the DVD player with the HDMI cable (I can't tell you how excited I was). He is reading to me about Peter and Sarah going to the creek, and I am removing Monster Cable, while hooking up HDMI and fiber optic cables (already had that one). So if you can imagine thinking, "Peter and Sarah.... creek.... dog.... digital video and sound.... 200 watts of power.... run Peter run.... 1080p.... the dog barked...." Hey, it works for us....
Michelle shows me on the internet where you can track your order. "Joe has submitted your order". "Chris has made your order". "Dylan left the store at 5:22pm". Again, that has to be one of the coolest things I have ever seen.
The pizza arrives and it is time for family night. I crank up the subwoofer, each of us gets into their own comfortable spot, and we start handing out pizza. By the time the movie is over, I think my son said, "that was so awesome" at least 15 times. At one point, my little girl starts doing pirouhettes and stating that she "is Ironman."
I love family movie night.

* Living in the -ish

For many who know me well you know that I do not do "on time" very well. I have read in some places how that shows that I do not respect the person or event for which I am late. I will not argue at this time how I disagree with that. It is, at times, quite true and I can see how being late is a passive aggressive way of showing your distaste. I can not say that I have not been passive aggressive in that way, but generally I am just running late. I never seem to judge the drive time quite right, or someone needs to go potty after they are buckled, or shoes are forgotten, or I can't find my keys despite using a consistent location. In my efforts to not be late due to key loss I often pick them up a few minutes early while I am still giving shoe and bathroom reminders. "Whew I already have my keys" I blissfully tell myself only to put them down when momentarily distracted. Now the consistent key spot is wasted and I am re-looking for the keys because I drug them all over the house looking for the white flip flops my daughter has misplaced.

It would be convenient to say that time was easier for me when I was younger and had no small children, but that is not so. My friends in school never expected me on time, a fact they often pointed out. Judah also tells a great story about me being late to my wedding, which was totally not my fault. I did fairly well at time when working. I was very conscious of not scheduling 8 o'clock patients and made up for the few minutes I missed at 8 by working well past 5. I was blessed with a boss that truly cared only for the bottom line, if my time sheet showed 8+ hours and sufficient billable time then all was right and beautiful in the world. Who cares if it was 8:15 to 5:45 and not 8-5?

Judah lives on time, and frequently early. When going together we are never late. We can both be frustrated by this. I am "going too slow" and he is "rushing me." Sometimes he pushes us out and we arrive waaaaaaaay early and he looks at the clock and ADMITS "we really are very early." I admit a very small inner smile on these occasions. Times I do not smile are when he calls my cell phone at 11:45:30 to see where I am, when we were to meet t 11:45:00.

I love those things in life that help me in my lateness, such as movie previews and billing grace periods. Don't we all need a grace period? If not in time maybe in other areas. Where I may need some grace to cover my missed minutes, perhaps others need some grace to cover some words they "missed."

Several days ago a friend (who shares my tendencies) used a phrase that I will now steal and call my own. We were planning a time to meet, lets say 5. And I said 5-ish. She said "I live in the -ish." What a fabulous way to describe the chronic just behind scheduleness. I am no longer late, just wallowing in the area that surrounds the concept of "on time." I am embracing the fringes of the bell curve of timeliness. I am living in the -ish.

* Superpowers

I debated on the title for this post - I wanted to do the quirky quote title since it is related to a statement by my son - but I decided not to. This is contrary to other posts that have little to do with a quote yet get labeled as such. Such is the joy of blogging - I can do whatever I want and since my readership is limited no one will really care.

A few days ago my son and I were watching the first Fantastic Four movie. He has never seen the movie in its entirety or the beginning part at all. This sitting only fixed the beginning part - we still didn't watch the whole thing. Anyway... the beginning of this movie really tries to explain the scientific way that these ordinary folks become superheroes. This was an interesting topic for the seven year old on the couch. He asked lots of questions and I very carefully explain that the writers of the story made up this way of becoming a super hero. They (meaning the writers) said that some electricity in space "shocked" the actors and it changed their cells so that they would do something they had never done before. We have had previous discussions of electricity (particularly as it related to not touching the electric fence at the farm) as well as cells in our bodies. I thought my explanation of the events in the movie was very clear and I was proud of being able to translate the information into his level of understanding. In the midst of my pride I concluded this train of thought with ...

"Because you know that no one really has super powers like in the story, right?"

"I do"

Total failure of the very elaborate explanation - apparently people do have super powers, particularly my son, and I had it all wrong.

(For those interested - after I got over myself and my attempts to logically explain movie magic I asked what the super powers were ... "I can stick to stuff" and he promptly walked over to the hall and scaled his way to the ceiling with a move many of us have seen on Ninja Warrior - "Mom - you can walk under me now!!!" - Interestingly enough the super power does not extend to getting down from the ceiling. Even superheroes need their moms to swoop in and get them out of a jam every now and then)

Man Class 2

Last night we were looking at Matthew 22: 37 - 40. Jesus says the two greatest commandments are to love God with all your heart, and love your neighbor as yourself. All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments. The teacher for the evening used an analogy of the laws being arranged on an archery target, and these two right in the center. If we aim for those two, and hit those two, then we capture the rest of them. Wow. I like that. I can visualize that.

So the question came up, "why do we focus on stuff like worship, color of the carpet, you hurt my feelings, who is qualified to teach a class, etc.? Why don't we focus on these 2?" The answer: I like check lists. The "Laws" are a checklist. Went to church? check. Are you married? check. Love your mom and dad? check. Did you pray 3 times today? check. Did you call 5 Christians? check. Have you taught a class this year? check. Did you give more than 10% Sunday? check....

But not only is it checklists, but I think if we are honest, it is also difficult for us to put people first. And by people, I also include God. Loving God, and loving others as yourself sounds easy. And I like the idea that if I only follow two rules, I am going to be OK. But if you think about it, Those two rules encompass every single decision you can ever make. "How is this going to glorify God? She needs a couple of dollars and I got 30 in my pocket, but she might spend it on booze. I know I should read my bible, but the game is on, and these two teams are the biggest rivalry.... I didn't eat out that much on my business trip and the company doesn't require receipts.... but....." All of a sudden what seemed like something relatively easy becomes infinitely more difficult. At least from a human perspective.

Reality is, God makes it real easy. God did everything for us by sacrficing His son for us. Our focus should be doing things out of love and gratitude for what God did. I should want to help others, because Jesus died for me. I should want to do my best at work, because Jesus died for me. I should want to treat my wife with respect, because Jesus died for me. All those things in my life, and your life that are "have tos", should be "want tos". Being a Christian becomes infinitely easy when we put other people first.

Man Class 1

Back in college, Michelle and I decided to try out the church that supported the college ministry. So, one Wednesday night we hoof it over to the church to attend worship. Everyone met in the sanctuary to sing a couple songs and have a prayer. Some guy stood up and made some announcements, then asked if anyone had anything else to add. Afterwards, we all stand up to head down stairs to class. Michelle and I were kind of walking and talking at the time, when before we knew it, the crowd was separating: men on side and women on the other. The men were going to one side of the downstairs, while the women went to the other side. Two classes: A men's class, and a women's class.

In my class, we talked about: the man being the head of his family, what the man says goes, the woman is supposed to be silent in church (scriptural reference here), you need to be at church as often as possible, and a few other topics I don't really care to mention.

After about 30 or so minutes, the class was dismissed, and we started filing out towards the stairs. That is where the men and women starting merging back together. I scanned the crowd for Michelle, and finally found her. She had this expression on her face that can best be described as a deer in head lights. Walking up the steps, we don't say a word to each other. The phrase "shell shocked" comes to mind.

On the way back to the dorms, Michelle describes her class. It was of a similar nature as mine, but from a female stance: your husband (just understood you would have one) is always right, if you have questions about the bible, wait until you get home, he will tell what is right, etc. They then knitted some napkins for the shut ins.

Needless to say, we never went back. Because of this experience, I have always been very wary of men only and women only classes. Until now....

Farragut has to have one of the best Men's class that meets on Wednesday nights. Along with that, the women's class is top notch. I may be a little biased as Michelle is teaching the class currently, but that is my right as her husband.

Back to the Man Class. For a few months now, this class has been growing in popularity. For a while, however, it hasn't been that popular, and no one could really put a finger on why. But what is going on now is absolutely amazing. Well, at least for me. You see, most of those that hang out in this class are who I would consider play makers. By play makers, I mean guys that I would go to to help me with a particular decision. I ask them advice. I trust there opinion. I hang out with these guys "outside of church". When decisions are being made within the church, these men are usually a part of the committees making the decisions. Not just me, but other people trust these guys as well.

Not only do I respect these men, but they are all professionals with jobs NOT in ministry. They are doctors, sales men, entrepreneurs, scientists, and retirees. They show Jesus in their work, how they raise their children, how they treat their wives, and how they interact with each other. It is blatantly obvious that they have a love for God and a love for others. There are no egos. We all share our "personal views" on what the scripture says, and sometimes disagree. However, when it comes to the absolutes and truths of the bible, we are in harmony. Any one of these men could teach this class. And for whatever reason, they are starting to come together on Wednesday nights to talk about Jesus in one class. If you are not already involved in a bible study on Wednesdays, why don't you come and join us?

* Quirky Quotes

Again this quote is not so much quirky as it struck me quite quirkily when I heard it. Friday mornings we try to have a play group type gathering at my house and mostly we clean up before hand. There were some complications to the schedule including scheduling an oil change an hour before folks were to arrive and my ride from the car place being ill that morning. This threw off my plans - which I do not always handle gracefully. Instead of cleaning I spent time trying to find another ride. The house was not as clean as I like it to be when folks arrive - so my solution? Clean it after they leave!! I will happily announce that the house was super clean several hours after our guests left. Now for the quote. My son said something in the middle of this cleaning process that was unexpected but something I hope he continues to say to me (and his future bride)

Can I mop?

He spent the next fifteen minutes busily mopping the kitchen, after which he vacuumed the downstairs. I am trying to relish the moment for as long as possible - because I am not so old that I have forgotten how much older children like to do those things. Sigh.

Just a Normal Weekend

Our family had another awesome weekend! My personal thanks to Michelle's family (I have the best mother-n-law in the world) for watching the kids Friday night while we went on a date with the 2500+ bikers in Chattanooga Friday night. Seriously, over 2500 bikers showed up Friday night for the annual Trail of Tears ride that started early Saturday morning. Fortunately, not a lot of bikers favor Shogun for dining out, and Barnes and Noble for after dinner activities.

Along with a date with my beloved, we got to enjoy a celebration as our niece celebrated her 5 year old birthday. There is nothing like seeing a bunch of little girls running around the backyard with butterflies painted on their foreheads! And then there is my son running around the side of the house with tiger stripes painted on his face! Priceless.

This party also gave me a chance to appreciate the role of fathers with their children. If you want more clarification, you can give me a call, and I will talk about the specifics. There have been few moments in my life where I had to physically remove (or be removed) myself from a situation, or I was going to resort to physical confrontation. The cliff notes version is like I have always said: God does not tell us we have to have children, but He is pretty specific about how to raise them when He blesses us with them. Guys, if you have a son, don't neglect them, and DON'T "bully" them, especically in front of me.....

After the party, I took the jet skis to my mom's place for winter storage. It was sad to see them sitting in the garage, not being used until the next season. Mom and I spent a few hours cleaning up the shop, straining to get the skis up the makeshift ramp, and then just sitting around and talking. Men, never forget your mom. I love my mom. She is my second favorite lady in the whole world. I owe a lot of my spirituality to her. Thanks.

We spent Sunday talking about Family ministry at Farragut. The interesting thing is, this seemed like a foreign concept to most that were participating in the meet and greet with the speaker. I'll have to admit that if you had asked me about it a few years ago, I would said something like, "that's the purpose of Sunday morning bible school. Besides, I teach an adult class...." As the years have gone by, my thought process is slowly changing. Here are some facts that the speaker noted. Most of the 3 or 4 that read this blog I am sure already know them.
1) An average 4th grader spends close to 40 hours a year doing church activities. I am almost certain you can move that age up to 12th grade.
2) An average 4th grader will spend over 400 hours a year doing homework.
3) Parents have close to 4000 hours a year available to be with their kids. Wow.
4) Over 80% of graduating seniors stop going to church when they graduate from high school.
5) "The greatest challenge at Lipscomb University right now is re-educating students about the importance of Jesus in their life"- speaker. I would like to paraphrase that by saying one of the largest missionary fields in the US right now is college campuses.
6) "It is the parent's responsbility to teach their kids about Jesus, not the church."
7) By the time a teen hits 7th grade, they have "established their faith". What this means is that a teens personal belief structure doesn't change much from this point in time throughout their life. The only things that change this belief is major emotional upheavals like death in the family, births of children, marriage, and "close to death" experiences.
8) "Giving 4 and 5 year olds paper and crayons during the worship service does nothing more than teach them to tune out for the message of God's Word." Ouch. More on that later....
I'll admit that Family ministry seems hard, overwhelming, and some of the concepts are just plain "out there". But the reality is, we as parents have to give our children their faith while they are young, help them develop their own as they mature, and guide them in their own decisions as they grow up. Being a parent is hard work. What Family minstry does, is allows the church to give parents the tools they need to succeed in raising spiritual giants. We have to use the talents that God has blessed our personal congregations with. Each church family will look different. No matter what we try, the focus has to be on educating our children about Jesus, equiping the parents with tools to teach them OUTSIDE of church, and probably even having a little accounability about the whole process.

Sunday night found us at our small group, where we are trying different things with focusing on teaching our kids. This month, we are looking at concepts to help the kids understand the definition of honor. Do you know? "Letting others know, you see how valuable they are." How awesome is that?!?! The cool thing is to watch the kids in our group answer these questions, as well as, doing "barrel rolls and piorettes". We don't use babysitters. The kids are in the group with us, talking about Jesus. We are still trying new things, but it seems to be working. I think probably the coolest thing was when I announced "bible time" last night and they came running from the bedrooms hooping and hollaring, "hoorah! bible time! hoorah!" One parent even talked about how that their son was so excited about talking about this stuff DURING the WEEK, not JUST in small group, or church!! Wow.... That's me giving God the glory, all the time.....

I have to say, this is a typical weekend for us. We go see our extended family, have some "special time", see our church family, teach our kids, and go to bed. We aren't that exciting, but we do stay busy. I thank God everyday that He blessed me with an awesome wife, and some of the coolest kids ever. If you were ever curious as to what a "normal" weekend looked like for us, this was it.

* Before I Forget

My children are amazing and wonderful and beautiful to me. Intellectually I know that you all feel the same about your children. They are all the brightest and most adorable of God's creations, even more so because He lets us play a part in their lives. They are all the cutest and cleverest of children, except mine really are. :) I want to capture some of those adorable moments in time because I know they will be gone some day, to be replaced by more precious moments, except I want to keep them all! Today I remembered again that I do not want to forget how my daughter says back pack, which is basically pack pack. So this blog I am devoting to the words I need to remember before I forget.

Due to birth order I will start with some of my favorites from my sons early days

• Dis? -- A word used to ask identification of all objects
• Bundt -- Clearly this is the 18mo version for button
• Blank-ank -- Again a clearly clever extra k version of the word blanket
• Chagganooga -- A word he then passed on to his sister, we may never hear the right pronunciation of that city
• Heevy -- A word used to denote objects that were heavy. The best part about this word is that it generally accompanied a small guy dragging something too big for him and making some pretty cute faces to express his hard work.

My daughter has talked more and often even more amazingly clear than my son, who was not too shabby himself. However since she has always done so well it limited the cute mispronunciations that mark toddler hood.

• Pack pack -- As I said before her phrase for back pack, not too far off but still cute
• InLee -- An early version of my niece's name Neely, recently outgrown (sigh)
• A-tend -- Used in sentence form..."Let's a-tend we are princesses"
• Ask-a-gent (with a soft 'g' sound) -- This lovely phrase for questioning a gentleman is her way of saying "I am sorry mom, it was an askagent"
• All words needing a hard 't' sound (and some strong 'r' words)This last remaining immature speech pattern leaves us talking about wadder boddles and tripping over woots and wocks.
• I can not even begin to type her word for sushi, but trust me its cute

Later viewers of this blog may find a longer list since this can now be a depository of all words I remember later, before I forget.

* The Joy of Creation

This past weekend I was blessed with the opportunity to hang out with just my mom making home-made cards for her upcoming church craft bazaar. I do not often get to be with my mom by myself. Now that I have two smaller persons who tag along with me everywhere, they tend to claim any energy grandma may have upon arrival. They are constantly doing new and exciting things and I do not think I have done anything really new in years. However this weekend I requested some time without children so Judah drove a bit further down the road and they hung out with another grandmother. The kids came back the next day and the house got a bit louder but for several hours Friday night and Saturday I was able to sit at a table and make stuff with my mom.

Making things for a bazaar is a strong childhood memory. My mom has always been crafty and many of you who have been to my house growing up may remember the craft cabinets that were our dining room decor. Mom actually came across some old style card catalogs from the library and we had drawers full of wonderful things like beads, cross stitch material, fake birds, raffia, ric-rak, rolls of tin for tin punch( a shout out to anyone who knows what that is :) ), and numerous other items sometimes labeled on the front of the card catalog. Mom's craftiness is the reason I do not share the love for fried okra that many of my southern compatriots have. Mom put dried okra in wreaths and therefore they seem wrong to eat. Who would eat a pine cone? And they are the same in my mind.

As a young child mom made crafts every year for a bazaar to earn some Christmas spending money. A comment on the change in our culture. Who thinks of earning extra money to buy gifts - most folks just trip along with their credit cards hoping to pay it off later. Any way..... Mom would make fascinating items like lifesaver doll ornaments (which since they are labeled first means they are the most remembered - mom always said she knew what outfit I liked best because that was the one I tried on first in the dressing room - I use that knowledge now and watch my first pick for determining what items get put back - never the first outfit). She made a lot of ornaments, such as the one made from baby blocks - it had a bead head and a hat on it. There was also the felt mouse in the stocking and later we made many Styrofoam ball ornaments with sequins pinned on or fake string pearls glued around and around or fabric folded and pinned on to look like a quilted design. The bazaar concept also naturally appealed to my love of counting objects and sorting them into piles. Seeing a table with different items arranged in their proper place gives me a sense of peace. :)

A few years ago mom mentioned that her church was having a craft bazaar and I encouraged her to get a booth. We made many things and had a grand time counting and sorting and labeling. The precious souls that came through loved looking at out paper crafts but bought little. The upside was we had tons of scrapbooking materials leftover and were stocked for months! This year we are making cards because they sold best and again if they don't sell Mom will be stocked for some time. She is a card sender like I always mean to be. Who doesn't like to get something in the mail?

Other than enjoying my time with my mom and wallowing in childhood memories of lifesaver doll ornaments I truly enjoyed creating the cards. This is also why I like scrapbooking and quilting. I like MAKING stuff. There is a joy in creation. I think creating is a healthy hobby. This Christmas I suggested that Judah get a lathe and start his own creating hobby. He has spent many happy hours making some great pens, darts and letter openers. I wonder if some discontentment can be traced to how much we don't make anymore. Many years ago people worked hard to grow food from the ground (and after our garden this year I can say that is HARD) but they also had to make their clothes, furniture, and many other things we just purchase. Do not think I want to make all my clothes - I've tried that - not my skill set. However I do believe there is satisfaction and JOY in creation. This has been rolling around in my head and I have finally come to the conclusion that my joy in creation is a reflection of my creator. When I make something, step back, and say "that is not too bad" I can get a glimpse of the first chapter of Genesis in my own very small way. It makes me smile whenever I get a glimpse of God - in my children, in nature, and in a creation of my own.

If you haven't made anything in a while - I recommend it highly - there is joy in creation.

* Asterisks

For those avid readers out there - of which I have been told there are now approximately 7 - you may have noticed that some of the posts are suddenly sporting an asterisk before the title. This is my solution to a request from one of the seven avid readers. Most blogs apparently are written by one person. In our effort to do all things our own way we are sharing this blog. This has led to some confusion as to who is writing which post. While all posts eventually reveal themselves due to pronoun usage - for SOME people that is not ideal. In order to alleviate some tension I am now labeling all my posts with an asterisk. I have done this retroactively as well, just in case something was so great it needs to be read again and you forgot who wrote it (which would probably indicate it wasn't that great)

Some may ask why the asterisk and why your posts and not his. In typical Michelle fashion - I have a list:

• A symbol is easier to remember than a word for both reader and writer
• I wanted something decorative, subtle, and easily located on the keyboard
• I have always thought the asterisk to be a more feminine punctuation mark so clearly it needs to be on my posts not his
• Judah wouldn't label his posts anyway

So now whenever you open this blog you will know immediately who wrote it and can set your brain to the preconceived notions you have for each of us. :)

Love

I am speaking at a local church in a couple of weeks on love. I am using the scripture John 13:34. So the question is: what are your thoughts on loving others as Jesus loved us? Is this possible? If so, what does it look like? Now, compare those thoughts with Luke 14:26 "....does not hate his father and mother, wife and children.... can not be my disciple." Is Jesus being contradictory? I would love to get some feedback on this.

Prayer (Part 2?)

I taught the teenage class last Sunday morning. I have to say, since we got the "new guy", I have really missed that part of my previous duties. The teens are so complex. They have such a strong grasp of the world, and yet at the same time, assume way too much. These guys are really smart, so I usually try to push them in their thinking. I admit that sometimes I push them pretty hard. It may back fire every now and again, but at least it gets their wheels turning.



This Sunday we opened with a prayer. I asked for prayer requests, and one of the teens said, "you know the usual: school and college." He said it rather nonchalantly. Well, this kind of set me off on a tangent. Imagine that.....



I asked them, "If you guys keep praying for the same things, are you really turning your requests over to God? Do you really believe He is going to step in, and do what you ask?"



As you can imagine, they didn't like this too much. "Are you saying we are not supposed to pray about school and college? What would pray for then?"



"That's not what I am saying. What I am saying is, when you pray that way (nonchalantly) do you really turn your requests over to God."



"But God says for us to pray about something we care about all the time."



"Are you sure about that?"



You can kind of see how the conversation (debate, then disbelief) went from there.



Let me see if I can explain my point now. For one thing, prayer is not JUST a shopping list. Western culture for some time completely misses the point on prayer. We get it in our head that praying to God is about asking for stuff like, good health, forgiveness of sins, clarification for decisions, prosperity, etc. This is basically a shopping list. This is not at all what God has in mind when it comes to prayer. Look at the great guys from the Old Testament. They "walked with God". They conversed with God in other words. Even better, look at Jesus. He would get up early in the morning to be with His heavenly father. He would sneak off to a solitary place to speak with Him. One of the greatest prayers is the Lord's Prayer. However, if that is our only format for praying, we are missing the point.



Prayer is so much more than shopping list. It is more involved than just stopping and thanking God for the food we are about to eat, then devour only half of a meal that costs more than a lot of people make in a month. We have to set aside time for prayer. We should block it off on our calendars. It should be such a part of our daily routine, that it would feel weird NOT to do it.



Also, prayer is a two way street. We sometimes forget, usually in our haste to get something, that we are actually TALKING TO GOD. Think about that. God wants to hear from us. God wants to talk to us. And sometimes, we just tune Him out. All we want, is for Him to give us what we ask for, overlooking the great gift of one on one communication with Him.



Don't get me wrong, we should pray fervantly. There are numerous passages about doing that. But there are also numerous passages where we are just to ask God. We are to "turn our requests over to God." We are to forget about them, with the understanding that God will take care of it. And just as there are prayers for those things that we are really passionate about, and prayers where we are just to "let it go", there are also prayers where we should listen to God. And these, I bet, are the hardest of all. God loves us so much. He just wants to have a relationship with us! Why in the world would we overlook one of the most important ways of communicating with Him?

So let me ask the question: what are your thoughts on prayer? Am I way off base on this?