* One for the Tissues

Children are a joy and a blessing. (They can also be very frustrating and make you think that shooting steam out of your ears is not so cartoonishly impossible after all) I wanted to get this moment down because I did not want to forget the sweet innocence, and later when I am very frustrated perhaps the knowledge that this moment existed I will take a breath instead of shooting steam.

A few nights ago when I was putting my son to bed he asked who would take care of him if I died. We discussed that dad would do a great job even if I was not here. This led into discussions on when people die, young vs old, through sickness, age or injury. Being the planner that he is he also wanted to know who would take care of him if both Judah and myself died at the same time. We determined that he would likely live in Chattanooga since that is where most of the other relatives, grandparents etc, live. It was also critical for him to know who would take care of him during the 90 minutes it took for them to get here. We had a lovely discussion on how many people in town love him and his sister and he would be well taken care of by some friends of ours should that unlikely and unfortunate turn of events occur.

I was very proud of myself for handling the conversation in all the seriousness that he felt and without breaking down into a snubby mess at the thought of not seeing him grow up. I wanted to assure him that he would be fine without me, and that I would be happy in heaven waiting for him there. Now for tissues...he then told me that when I die he will hold my hand so he can go up with me to heaven, because he doesn't want to be here without me.

I thank God that my son loves me and that right now he has no fear of dying and going to heaven. I am also glad that we can talk about heaven in our home as a really cool place that has better toys than we have here on earth. That God wants us to join Him there and that it is a real place to be trusted in, not just a fanciful hope. That conversation reminded me why I shouldn't brush off his concerns, and why I should answer every one of his thousands of questions each day. If I had brushed off the beginning of the conversation with "don't worry about it" and left the room...I would have missed a perfect moment.