Trying Not to be Something

End of the holidays. Finally. Michelle boxed up the Christmas stuff yesterday, and I(we) put them back up in the attic. Its over. Finally, its over.


Most of you know I am not much on the holidays. Now, granted I have done much better as the years have pasted. I don't loathe them like I used to. This is mainly due to Michelle's family and their love and appreciation of the holidays. Michelle's mom especially does such an amazing job with decorations, music, crafts for the kids, treats, etc. At some point it just kind of rubs off on you I think. Resistance is futile.


Enough about the holidays. These days, people tend to want to look back at the year that was. Did you accomplish what you wanted to accomplish? Did you save(spend) what you wanted to? For me, however, it was one phrase that Michelle said that summed it all up. When we were driving back from somewhere, and I was in a funk about something, and in the middle of the conversation about whatever she turns to me and says, "You have been trying so hard not to be something, that you haven't been able to see anything good that was accomplished."


The conversation was about my dad. I usually get into a funk about this time of year, because it reminds me of the strict way I was raised, mainly due to my dad. At the same time, I have spent years basing a lot of decisions by asking, "I wonder what he would do...", then do the exact opposite. My goal was to NOT be like him as much as possible. This has led me to not even see the good things he has done in this world. True, he has done some amazingly bad things, but he has also done some pretty good things as well. My dad was one of the greatest artists I have ever known. The man could quote scripture like no body's business. He had the ability to just create things. He was a crafter. He was a builder. He was an author. He was an evangelist. I still do not want to be him, but I will no longer bolt if my actions remind me of a positive trait. Good is good regardless of the person.


I spent all my life trying not to be him, that I have been missing out on trying to be something. I couldn't separate the really bad from the really good. All I wanted to do was not be him. That's not at all what I believe God wants from me.


Instead of trying not to be something, I think we should try to be something. For this year, I think that is what I am going to do.