Rob Bell is one of those guys that I really like to pay attention to. He speaks the way he writes. I like that. For some reason, I get lost in a dialogue when I start to listen to an author for the first time, and he doesn’t “sound” like what I was expecting. Rob isn’t like that. If you have ever read any of his books, be assured that he speaks about the same way.
Rob’s lecture at the Catalyst conference really got me thinking. Again, you have to remember that he is speaking to 13,000 ministry leaders. His initial question was, “is bigger better?” For the majority of those in attendance the initial reaction (and mine included) was, “YES!” Every ministry I have been a part of had always had a bullet in the goals and objectives section that had to with growth. That is just what you do. Ministries are supposed to grow. If they are not growing, then they are not healthy. And for reason, I have always put a numerical value (attendance) on this action. Rob doesn’t do that.
He said things like:
Sometimes crowds thin. John 6:60 - “…this is very hard to understand. How can anyone accept it?” John 6:66 -“…many of His disciples turned away and deserted Him.” I don’t like this teaching. I want my ministry to grow, numerically. Rob used this scripture to show that God is more interested in healthy ministries, than ones based on numbers.
Do what God asks of you, NOT based on popularity. Sometimes, being right is not very popular. And when that happens, the crowds will thin. Guaranteed.
God will never ask, “Why were you not more like Moses?” He is going to ask, “Why were you not more like you?” We forget this sometimes, don’t we? We know the teachings, but for some reason we still compare ourselves to prophets, elders, teachers, preachers, etc. God wants to know what I did with my life. I need to stop worrying about how I don’t measure up to whom ever, and use that wasted energy on doing His will through me!
God tells us to do this; this thing right here, right now. We shouldn’t get focused on growing it. When He is ready, then He will give us something else. That is what we need to be focused on; understanding when He says, “here try this now.”
Whatever it is that you are doing right now, focus on that, and do it well. That is what you were made for.
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Here is another post from our trip to Catalyst09 this year.
Malcolm Gladwell, author (Tipping Point, Blink, and Outliers)
I’ll be honest, Malcolm was my favorite speaker. I think he was Michelle’s as well. What is most interesting about Malcolm being one of the main speakers at Catalyst is that he is not considered a “Christian speaker”. This man has so much respect from guys like Andy Stanley and Reggie Joiner that he is given a 30+ minute segment to talk about whatever he wants! And what he wanted to talk about was arrogance in leadership. Here are a few points from his talk:
1) Experts make mistakes
2) Most people tend to overestimate the value of extra bits of information.
3) Discussed the concept of mis-calibration – thinking you know more than you actually know
4) Leaders make mistakes, not from a lack of knowledge, but from and because you have knowledge.
5) “Incompetence is irritating, but overconfidence is scary”.
6) Experts are usually trapped by confidence.
7) “What we need in times of crisis from our leaders is not daring decisions but humility”.
In organizations that you are involved in, do you look to your leaders for answers? Do your leaders admit they make mistakes? Do they come across as arrogant? Are your leaders humble?
Malcolm Gladwell, author (Tipping Point, Blink, and Outliers)
I’ll be honest, Malcolm was my favorite speaker. I think he was Michelle’s as well. What is most interesting about Malcolm being one of the main speakers at Catalyst is that he is not considered a “Christian speaker”. This man has so much respect from guys like Andy Stanley and Reggie Joiner that he is given a 30+ minute segment to talk about whatever he wants! And what he wanted to talk about was arrogance in leadership. Here are a few points from his talk:
1) Experts make mistakes
2) Most people tend to overestimate the value of extra bits of information.
3) Discussed the concept of mis-calibration – thinking you know more than you actually know
4) Leaders make mistakes, not from a lack of knowledge, but from and because you have knowledge.
5) “Incompetence is irritating, but overconfidence is scary”.
6) Experts are usually trapped by confidence.
7) “What we need in times of crisis from our leaders is not daring decisions but humility”.
In organizations that you are involved in, do you look to your leaders for answers? Do your leaders admit they make mistakes? Do they come across as arrogant? Are your leaders humble?
Monday, October 12, 2009
Not Right Now....
I plan to post about our experiences from Catalyst09 over the next week or so. Below, is one of the more impactful talks I heard.
One of the speakers asked this question: “Does your family get your best, or what is left over from ministry?” His point was that sometimes we use ministry as an excuse when we recognize we are neglecting our families. Ministry leaders are amazingly susceptible to putting families second, third, or even fourth. This is not how it is to be. Family is only second to God. We sometimes forget that, or at least assume that the family understands what the priorities are when it comes to “saving souls”. It’s so easy for us to go off thinking that “only we can save that person”. The whole time, God is looking down on us going, “really? Only you can save that person? Please….” Here is another question the speaker asked that really punched me right in the face: Has your child ever SEEN you say, “No, I cannot do that now. I am playing with my son or daughter right now. It will have to wait until I am done.” Our kids need to SEE what is important in OUR lives.
The hard part about ministry is balancing family life and "ministry" life. If you really know Michelle and I, you know we "try" to solve this problem by combining them. Our children are with us as much as possible. Michelle and I do a lot of ministry work as a team. We will also periodically balance out the kids by having one of us at home when the other needs to do some type of "ministry" thing. Let's face it: Michelle is usually the one who stays home while I go off trying to "save someone". So when the speaker asked the question if my kids ever saw me turn down a ministry role for them, it really hit me hard. Because the answer is no, or at least I can not think of one. What this tells my son or daughter is that"ministry is more important than him or her". Whoa....
As "the man of the house", my first priority is to God, my second priority is to my wife, the third priority is to my children, and then the next is everything else; even if i am a ministry leader. I'll be honest: that is a hard statement to write out. If our children continually see that they are put second when it comes to ministry, this will have negative impacts down the road. More than likely, they will turn away from "church", because of resentment from me always putting ministry first in their lives. The same could be said for spouses as well.
I sometimes assume that doing ministry is putting God first. But that is not necessarily so. Putting God first is having that relationship with Him where you know where you stand. You know He is with you and is for you in all things. You see Jesus in everyone you come in contact with. You work hard every day at your job, performing at it as though God was your direct report. You wake up every morning asking God, "make it obvious who You want me to impact today."
If we are not careful, we begin to think that we are the only ones who can help that person. "I know them better than anyone else", we might say. Or we are the only ones who can grow this church. Our plans are the only thing that are going to help this ministry to succeed. When this happens, we are not doing ministry, because we are not including God in our plans.
Being a ministry leader does not give us a free pass from the responsibilities of our families for the sake "of the Kingdom". So here is my question: If you are a ministry leader, how do you balance time with your family, with your spouse, with your children, with your given ministry?
One of the speakers asked this question: “Does your family get your best, or what is left over from ministry?” His point was that sometimes we use ministry as an excuse when we recognize we are neglecting our families. Ministry leaders are amazingly susceptible to putting families second, third, or even fourth. This is not how it is to be. Family is only second to God. We sometimes forget that, or at least assume that the family understands what the priorities are when it comes to “saving souls”. It’s so easy for us to go off thinking that “only we can save that person”. The whole time, God is looking down on us going, “really? Only you can save that person? Please….” Here is another question the speaker asked that really punched me right in the face: Has your child ever SEEN you say, “No, I cannot do that now. I am playing with my son or daughter right now. It will have to wait until I am done.” Our kids need to SEE what is important in OUR lives.
The hard part about ministry is balancing family life and "ministry" life. If you really know Michelle and I, you know we "try" to solve this problem by combining them. Our children are with us as much as possible. Michelle and I do a lot of ministry work as a team. We will also periodically balance out the kids by having one of us at home when the other needs to do some type of "ministry" thing. Let's face it: Michelle is usually the one who stays home while I go off trying to "save someone". So when the speaker asked the question if my kids ever saw me turn down a ministry role for them, it really hit me hard. Because the answer is no, or at least I can not think of one. What this tells my son or daughter is that"ministry is more important than him or her". Whoa....
As "the man of the house", my first priority is to God, my second priority is to my wife, the third priority is to my children, and then the next is everything else; even if i am a ministry leader. I'll be honest: that is a hard statement to write out. If our children continually see that they are put second when it comes to ministry, this will have negative impacts down the road. More than likely, they will turn away from "church", because of resentment from me always putting ministry first in their lives. The same could be said for spouses as well.
I sometimes assume that doing ministry is putting God first. But that is not necessarily so. Putting God first is having that relationship with Him where you know where you stand. You know He is with you and is for you in all things. You see Jesus in everyone you come in contact with. You work hard every day at your job, performing at it as though God was your direct report. You wake up every morning asking God, "make it obvious who You want me to impact today."
If we are not careful, we begin to think that we are the only ones who can help that person. "I know them better than anyone else", we might say. Or we are the only ones who can grow this church. Our plans are the only thing that are going to help this ministry to succeed. When this happens, we are not doing ministry, because we are not including God in our plans.
Being a ministry leader does not give us a free pass from the responsibilities of our families for the sake "of the Kingdom". So here is my question: If you are a ministry leader, how do you balance time with your family, with your spouse, with your children, with your given ministry?
Friday, October 2, 2009
Bring the Kids Along!
Recently, a good friend of mine told me, “I don’t see how you do it.” He was referring to how Michelle and I do all that we do in the ministry arena without sacrificing time with our kids. One of my good friends wrote a post that I believe sheds some light on our philosophy. However, I feel a little more clarification may be in order.
Michelle and I work with our church family on a variety of fronts. We love the fact that we are involved, but not “in charge” of a lot. True, we are the college ministry leaders, but that really is it in an official capacity. We are also involved in our children’s ministry, the ladies ministry, men’s ministry, youth, worship, and benevolence. When I write it all out, it does seem like a lot. But take my word for it, we do make time for ourselves and the kids on a regular basis. It just may not seem like it from others’ perspectives. When the cell phones go straight to voicemail, the home phone is off the hook, and we are not answering the front door, you know we are having “Wilkins Family Day”.
Anyway, back to what this post is about: I am a firm believer in that ministry is your way of life. We decided a long time ago that we would do our best to not separate our “church life” from our “personal life”. We try to model our life on how Jesus lived His life. We make a point, especially in teaching our children, that there is no difference in church time, family time, or ministry time. When Jesus came on to the scene, He took the sacred (the temple and the laws), and combined them with the common (you and me). I have a post in my head that better explains this, but for now, let’s focus on the fact that God is with us in all settings, not just church. I’ll be the first to admit that we are not perfect. But this is our overall philosophy.
One example is how we run our college ministry. In just about all situations, our children are present when we do something with the college adults. We have the college adults over for dinner once a month. My children are not “dismissed” from the room. In fact, the college adults love playing with our kids, almost as much as our kids love playing with them. Our kids eat dinner with them. They play games with them. In fact, many of my sons’ favorite movies are also favorites of the college adults. There have been numerous occasions where we all found ourselves watching a movie that my son or daughter picked out. We do not tell them to “go play”. This interaction, in my opinion, tells my children that they are important. It is also an environment where they learn from others. And these “others” are those that I trust with my children. If you know anything about Michelle and I, it is that we are very particular about what our children are exposed to. It is our responsibility as parents to raise our children the way God wants them raised. We believe the best way to do that is to have them exposed to numerous and different environments, within the confines of our control! College ministry is a perfect example of that. We have anime, book scholars, community school, gamers, working full time, movie critics, as well as others, in our group. Its an eclectic group! And let’s face it: college adults are cool. Children want to be around “cool” things. So, being involved in the college adults just makes sense. Our children know that we are the college ministry leaders, but they also know that they (my kids) are special.
Another example is our work with an inner city church. Again, we bring our kids along. Our kids see the college adults interact with those that have hardly anything. They see their parents and other adult volunteers interacting with “the least of these”. But more importantly, they themselves are interacting with children their own age that have hardly anything. To me, this is an amazing learning experience for my children. I can honestly say that both of my children do not see “color” or “social status” when they talk about their friends at the inner city church. I love that!
There have been times when we do tell the kids they can not come along. In these instances, I avoid phrases like, “when you get older you will understand.” I do my best to be honest with them, and decide how much of the situation they are ready to hear. “Mommy needs to go bail a girl out of jail.” “Daddy is going to go help one of the guys talk through a difficult choice he needs to make”. As you might expect, these types of statements set off a flurry of questions. We do our best to answer their questions; trying to balance what will satisfy their inquisitiveness, without giving them information that they are not ready for. Again, we the parents are deciding what the best inputs for our children are. There are situations that we feel they are ready for, and others that they are not. There are times when the phrase, “because I said so”, or something similar is used. But we really try to limit those responses.
I’ll be honest, our life is unique. And there are times when I do need a break. I am not perfect. Periodically, things get to me. But in general, this is who we are. We really try to have our kids involved in all the things that we do. Very rarely do we get babysitters so that we can go take care of something “ministry” related. Babysitters are for mommy/daddy dates! We try to teach our kids that God is present all the time. God is with us when we go to the football game. God is with us when we meet with others on Sunday mornings. God is with us when we go to grandmas. God is with us on daddy/daughter night, or mommy/son night. God is with us on “Wilkins Family day”. How about you? Where do your children fit in to your life?
Michelle and I work with our church family on a variety of fronts. We love the fact that we are involved, but not “in charge” of a lot. True, we are the college ministry leaders, but that really is it in an official capacity. We are also involved in our children’s ministry, the ladies ministry, men’s ministry, youth, worship, and benevolence. When I write it all out, it does seem like a lot. But take my word for it, we do make time for ourselves and the kids on a regular basis. It just may not seem like it from others’ perspectives. When the cell phones go straight to voicemail, the home phone is off the hook, and we are not answering the front door, you know we are having “Wilkins Family Day”.
Anyway, back to what this post is about: I am a firm believer in that ministry is your way of life. We decided a long time ago that we would do our best to not separate our “church life” from our “personal life”. We try to model our life on how Jesus lived His life. We make a point, especially in teaching our children, that there is no difference in church time, family time, or ministry time. When Jesus came on to the scene, He took the sacred (the temple and the laws), and combined them with the common (you and me). I have a post in my head that better explains this, but for now, let’s focus on the fact that God is with us in all settings, not just church. I’ll be the first to admit that we are not perfect. But this is our overall philosophy.
One example is how we run our college ministry. In just about all situations, our children are present when we do something with the college adults. We have the college adults over for dinner once a month. My children are not “dismissed” from the room. In fact, the college adults love playing with our kids, almost as much as our kids love playing with them. Our kids eat dinner with them. They play games with them. In fact, many of my sons’ favorite movies are also favorites of the college adults. There have been numerous occasions where we all found ourselves watching a movie that my son or daughter picked out. We do not tell them to “go play”. This interaction, in my opinion, tells my children that they are important. It is also an environment where they learn from others. And these “others” are those that I trust with my children. If you know anything about Michelle and I, it is that we are very particular about what our children are exposed to. It is our responsibility as parents to raise our children the way God wants them raised. We believe the best way to do that is to have them exposed to numerous and different environments, within the confines of our control! College ministry is a perfect example of that. We have anime, book scholars, community school, gamers, working full time, movie critics, as well as others, in our group. Its an eclectic group! And let’s face it: college adults are cool. Children want to be around “cool” things. So, being involved in the college adults just makes sense. Our children know that we are the college ministry leaders, but they also know that they (my kids) are special.
Another example is our work with an inner city church. Again, we bring our kids along. Our kids see the college adults interact with those that have hardly anything. They see their parents and other adult volunteers interacting with “the least of these”. But more importantly, they themselves are interacting with children their own age that have hardly anything. To me, this is an amazing learning experience for my children. I can honestly say that both of my children do not see “color” or “social status” when they talk about their friends at the inner city church. I love that!
There have been times when we do tell the kids they can not come along. In these instances, I avoid phrases like, “when you get older you will understand.” I do my best to be honest with them, and decide how much of the situation they are ready to hear. “Mommy needs to go bail a girl out of jail.” “Daddy is going to go help one of the guys talk through a difficult choice he needs to make”. As you might expect, these types of statements set off a flurry of questions. We do our best to answer their questions; trying to balance what will satisfy their inquisitiveness, without giving them information that they are not ready for. Again, we the parents are deciding what the best inputs for our children are. There are situations that we feel they are ready for, and others that they are not. There are times when the phrase, “because I said so”, or something similar is used. But we really try to limit those responses.
I’ll be honest, our life is unique. And there are times when I do need a break. I am not perfect. Periodically, things get to me. But in general, this is who we are. We really try to have our kids involved in all the things that we do. Very rarely do we get babysitters so that we can go take care of something “ministry” related. Babysitters are for mommy/daddy dates! We try to teach our kids that God is present all the time. God is with us when we go to the football game. God is with us when we meet with others on Sunday mornings. God is with us when we go to grandmas. God is with us on daddy/daughter night, or mommy/son night. God is with us on “Wilkins Family day”. How about you? Where do your children fit in to your life?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)