No Heat November

We went the entire month of November without turning our heat on. Actually, we went for over two months, but with October having such comfortable weather, I didn’t think I could really count it.

A while back I was having a conversation with my mom about how we had not turned our central unit on for a couple of weeks. I was bragging about how low my electric bill was going to be, when she reminded me (yet again) how she grew up with no AC, no heating unit except a wood stove, and even woke up with snow on her quilt a few times because her windows wouldn’t stay shut sometimes (and she walked to school uphill, both ways….). This conversation turned into a friendly battle of the wills over the next few weeks. At one point, my own brother called my son to ask him to sneak over and turn the air on so that I would lose!

The first week or so were kind of fun, with the kids bundling up “for dinner”, or David even sleeping in his regular clothes (not pajamas) for the next day. We even showed them how to take advantage of heat from the sun by opening the shades and front door when the sun was shining on it. Probably the funniest part was when Abby was doing laundry one night, and left the laundry room door open. She said, “at least the heat from the dryer will help!”

But I’ll be the first to admit that the last few days were the toughest. The night before we turned on our heat, the outside temperature got down to 28 degrees F. Honestly, I was more afraid of my pipes freezing, than I was of being cold. My reasoning was that I didn’t want to create more of a headache with pipes bursting just by trying to go as long as I could without heat.

We learned a lot from this experience. It may not seem like much, particularly since millions wake up each morning without heat, but we as a family learned a little more about what we can do without. We are one of those whacko families that don’t have cable, one TV (in the living room), and actually tell our kids to go outside and play. I don’t budget for a car payment; because I don’t want to have debt of any kind. Michelle and I do our best to actually sit down at the dinner table and ask our children about their day. We are far from perfect, as our lives are quite busy, but we do our best to be intentional about consistent activities in the home. I hear way too often how that I deprive my children of “advances in technology” and the “nicer things in life”. I just don’t believe that is true. One deprives a child when they take away what the child truly wants: one on one time with their parents. I don’t choose to have one TV because I think it will rot my kids’ brain (even though there is some truth to that). I have only one TV so that I, as a parent, have fewer distractions that keep ME from interacting with my kids.

If you are reading this, then I am certain there is something you could intentionally give up in your life right now. The concept is quite biblical. It’s called fasting, and it’s not just for food. It is for anything that has a hold on us that would keep us from focusing on God first. A while back, I fasted from social media. A friend of mine fasted from coffee. It may be that you need to fast from exercising for a time period, because you have the wrong motivation for doing it. The point is that you fast from something, and do it regularly. It helps us to keep our focus on where it needs to be.

Just so we are clear: Michelle and I can afford to turn on our heat (mom, if you are reading this). The main reason we went this long without any heat was to keep us focused on the fact there were those who could not turn on heat, even if they wanted to. We got some real good discussions from our kids through this experience. David wanted to know how we could help those who didn’t have any heat. Abby did too, and then she asked, “so what are we giving up next?” It’s a good question, and one that I don’t have an answer for just yet. But I will throw it to you: What can you give you up for a season?

40 Days of Sabbath from Social Media (SOME of What I have Learned)

I have been planning to do this for some time now. I can’t really point my finger to any specific thing that led me to fast for 40 days from social media. It more or less kind of grew on its own. But for whatever reason, I decided to “go dark” on September 24, 2011 for 40 days.

A little background: For a few months I noticed having a hard time focusing. It was requiring way too much effort to focus on one basic task in a given day. I noticed I was texting, checking my twitter feed, sending tweets, checking facebook, posting to facebook, making sure my twitter feed and facebook were synced, posting to my blog, checking my facebook, etc. All while trying to concentrate on the basic of tasks. If I were to be honest, I was overwhelmed. I was overwhelmed with trying to stay in contact with everyone. I was overwhelmed with trying to communicate things to others. And that is why I began to ask the questions: why do I post things on line? What is my ultimate motivation for posting anything (twitter, facebook, blog, etc.) on line? I ignored the answer, because it wasn’t the answer that I wanted. The answer that I wanted was, “because I am really concerned about other people, and I have found some bit of information that will make their life better.” Unfortunately the truth that kept coming up was, “because I want to see how many people respond to what I have to say.” And it was this initial realization that sparked a desire to unplug for 40 days.

I consider social media facebook, twitter, and blogs. I realize that there are other forms of social media such as chat rooms, forums, chatting while playing on line games, etc. But I don’t communicate in those ways. I primarily use twitter and facebook. So those were the ones that cut out of my life. I went so far as to delete the apps from my phone. The only two forms of media that I engaged in outside of direct communication were texting and email. I didn’t give up texting, because it truly is an amazing way of getting your point across to someone personally and instantly. There are numerous times where I need to tell someone something, and I just can’t make a phone call. So for me, for these 40 days, I read no one’s blogs, I read no tweets, and I read no facebook posts.

My Feelings about Facebook - I have a theory that there is no way one person can be true friends with 400 people. To have that many people as your friends on facebook is ridiculous. You can’t keep up. One could spend 24 hours a day on facebook checking up on their “friends”. My wife calls this facebook stalking. I call it being unproductive. It’s consuming. It’s addicting. What are they doing? Why don’t they post pictures? Why am I on their list? Why am I NOT on their list?? I can’t believe they are divorced?! Etc. Don’t get me wrong: Facebook has its place, but it requires so much effort to stay in control, that a lot of people ultimately lose control.

My Feelings about Twitter - To post random comments assuming that people actually care is the thought behind twitter. One can actually follow the menial, day in day out, goings on of high profile people with nothing more than a click of a button. Another ridiculous thing about twitter is that a celebrity can make an offhand comment about a brand in less than 140 characters and that brand will completely change its focus or rebut in less than 24hrs. It was recently determined that certain brands are actually PAYING some celebrities to post something about their product….Its insanity! But it’s this insanity that draws people to share their message: “I have something to say, and if I have followers, then they obviously care what I have to say.” This type of motivation for posting comments is nothing more than “it’s about me” hidden behind “they are interested in me”.

Anyway, enough of beating up on Facebook and Twitter. They do have their uses. The ability to share information to massive amounts of people is exciting. But if the activities behind the communication consume us, distract us, and keep us from building strong relationships with others, then the technology is keeping us from being who we are created to be: social, loving, involved, PRESENT creatures.

My ultimate goal behind the 40 day fast was to strengthen my relationships with those around me. There is no way we can build serious relationships when our face is in our phone or in a computer screen most of the time. Intentionally unplugging would provide more time for my wife and kids. I removed yet another distraction in my life that I was using as an excuse to not be fully engaged in their lives.

It doesn’t take much for me to disengage from them. I can create some pretty good excuses: “this college student needs some time to talk. I need to write this blog, because it is related to what we are studying this week. I need to check on facebook to see what he said, he seemed to be upset tonight.” You see? These are all seemingly legitimate reasons that cumulatively consume a mountain of time. I decided a long time ago that it was my responsibility to be intentional in the lives of my wife and kids. I shouldn’t wait on them to engage me. I need to initiate the communication with them. I bet if you were honest with yourself, you are probably making some pretty good excuses as well….

Strengthening my relationships was cool, but I also noticed I have read more in the last 40 days. Not just reading online either. I actually read physical books; with pages! One time a coworker brought in an article from Newsweek wanting me to read it. I knew I had a problem when I thought to myself, “Why didn’t he send me a link to it in an email?”

Along with reading three books in the last 40 days, I got back into a daily routine of reading my bible. I have a bible app on my phone that I would read from primarily, but there is something about HOLDING a bible and reading it…. I don’t know, but the words and stories just seem to be more understandable when reading it this way.

So I’m back on line; at least for now. I have a thought stirring in my head to cancel all my accounts as a New Year’s Resolution. I’m not so sure about that….. In the mean time, I have decided to severely limit my communication online. I am sure I will send a few tweets here and there. I read a lot of articles on science, religion, politics, etc. My goal with sending these links is to stimulate some kind of discussion in regards to the topic. I also plan to overhaul my Facebook account. Do I really need that many friends?? Why is THAT posted on my wall? What I am really trying to say by posting that picture?? Do I really “like” that??

What about you? Could you unplug for 40 days? What about 2 weeks? A week? A weekend? 24 hours? For an hour???? If your answer is no, maybe you should give it a shot…..

Its Football Time

Today is my son’s first football game. Well, it’s not technically his first, since his team has been playing bowl games and scrimmages with other teams for the last couple of weeks. But in his mind, based on the team schedule, tonight is his first official game.

I grew up in football country. It was a small town, but football was a way of life. The only thing that was more important than football was church. And in some instances, a couple of churches set their mid-week services around football practice. You were either in football, or you were not.

I was not. I wasn’t that big in high school, and learned long before getting there that I was gifted in music. In particular, I figured out I was pretty good playing drums. And as a dad, I just figured that was where my son would progress. I bought a second drum set last year so he could play. Unbeknownst to me, he held a very strong desire to play football. I knew he enjoyed it. He liked watching it with me, but I never knew he wanted to play it as much as he does. But the truth be known, deep down inside of me I knew this was coming….

A few months back I said something to the effect of,”you are too small to play. You will get hurt. Blah blah blah. Well, when one of the coaches here in Knoxville heard that story (directly from David…), he wasn’t too thrilled. He started naming off all kinds of guys in the NFL with a height less than 5’8”. When I got home, you can imagine David letting me have it…. Make a long story short; he is now a starting Safety and backup running back for his team. He is also the fastest member of the team when they do the speed drills. He has a lot to learn, but it is his first year, and he is loving it. I am definitely a proud dad.

First Day of School

School started for us yesterday.

Abby’s first day was about like most kids her age. We got up, she put on her new clothes, hopped in the car, and mom snapped pictures at every turn. In our house, its tradition that I take them to school on the first day. We get to the co-op, and I ask her, “you want daddy to walk you to your classroom?” Abby responded, in classic Abby fashion, “No, I’ll be ok. I know where it is. Besides, you need to get work.” And with that, her highly independent self hopped out of the car, waved good bye, and skipped off to class. Of course, dad is struggling to keep it together as he drives off to work, wondering what happened to his little girl….

David’s experience was slightly different. His actually began the night before. He and I were tag teaming a mountain of legos in the middle of his room that had gotten out of hand the previous day. We bantered back and forth about expectations for this year, since he would be at home all the time. He seemed excited and ready for the next step in his education. I told him one of my expectations for him this year was for him to read 1 chapter out of the bible, on his own, each day. He seemed pretty cool with that:

“So, like, I can just pick up the bible, pick out a verse and just read it? Like, turn to Exodus 10, and just READ it?!” he asked.

“No, I think a bible plan is in order. Pick a section like the Psalms, or the first 5 books of the bible, or the gospels.” I responded. After some debating and negotiating, we finally decided he would start in Matthew. Then, almost like out of the blue he said, “I wish I could be dropped off for my first day of school….” I stopped what I was doing, because this had the feeling of “one of those moments” parents wait for.

“What do you mean?” I asked. “You are going to be home schooled 100% this year. You don’t get to be dropped off at school.” And then, almost flippantly I added, “What, you want me to drive around the block, and drop you off at the house?!”

Amazingly, he looked up at me in genuine excitement. “Please, dad. Would you do that?!”

And so we did. David got up in the morning, got dressed “for school”, grabbed his book, jumped in the car, and mom snapped pictures. I drove him around the block, pulled into the driveway, and he jumped out, “see you dad. Have a great day at work.”

To me, the review of the first day is also really cool. That afternoon, Abby came up to me, “Daddy! I got to go to gymnastics! What do you think of my gymnastics outfit? My teacher this year is really sweet. She likes rules, though. We spent almost ALL DAY on rules…. HEY! 2 of my friends from last year are in my class! We did a devo on what makes God happy. I am going to finish all my ‘Tuesday work’ today. I got to swing on the bars and do hand stands in gymnastics today! That was fun!” For her, she summed up her day in 5 minutes. Things were good.

David’s experience was different. He got his work done by lunch. That has been his goal all summer. After lunch, he began getting his stuff ready for football practice. He is a starting safety on defense and a backup running back on offense. He likes to be prepared, and early; WAY early. Sometime during the morning, however, Michelle checks in on him, and he was reading the bible. He was on chapter 3 of Matthew. He had decided it was so good, he wanted to continue the story. When Michelle told me that, it took a bit for dad to keep it together, as he wondered what happened to his little boy.... Things were good. Things were real good.

I hope your first day of school experience was just as cool as mine.

Colorful Language

My son was recently invited by local high school football team to review film. He started playing football, and one of his homework assignments by his coach was to review film (watch football games), and pick out his position. At ten years old, you would have thought he had been invited by a team from the NFL. He arrives at their practice one afternoon, opens the car door, and is met with some rather colorful language from the coaches. “that’s the @#$%@#! play I have ever seen run!”, was just an inkling of what he overheard. At one point, he turned to his mom and said, “mom, he used the ‘s’-word!” (S-word in our house is “shut up”) Anyway, after the initial shock from all the yelling, David happily spent a few hours with the coaching staff reviewing last year’s films, and they did an excellent job of helping him pick out his current position.

But this experience got me thinking. What words do you use in your house? What words would your kids say are used in your house? For instance, is the word “Jesus” used frequently? If so, in what context? Is it, “and Jesus is the Savior of the World, and He loves you very much!” or is it: “Jesus. Just get up stairs and get in bed!” If it’s the latter, I doubt your kids are looking around for Jesus to walk up the stairs….

We have to be real careful about our language, and we cannot take it for granted. Recently, I gave a speech at a graduation banquet. The title of my talk was, “Don’t be Stupid”. The point was that as young people they have a lot of opportunities, but as they make stupid decisions, they start running out of opportunities. Hence, don’t be stupid. During my talk, a young little guy about 5 or 6 had had enough of my use of the word. He was sitting rather close to the front and interrupted me, “we don’t say stupid in my house.” I was caught off guard, and was truly inspired. The reason is that I know this family personally, and can honestly say that they do not use that word, as well as many others that would be frowned upon. I was encouraged that the child felt so strongly about it that he decided to make his issues known to me in public! Something that I took so matter-of-fact-like, he took very strongly.

As parents, we have to be cognizant of the fact that our kids are watching us all the time, even when they are not. I hear my phrases coming out of son these days; some good, some not so good. But he and his sister are only mimicking what they think is appropriate. All kids do this. So we as parents need to show them what appropriate communication is. That is why consistent bible studies are so important. And it’s not sitting everyone down every night for a bible time, although that isn’t a bad idea. It can also be talking at the table, songs you listen to, shows you watch, the reason for why you are not going to put that purchase on the credit card, and a litany of others. Be intentional about teaching your children what good communication looks like. Show them by speaking and acting the way Jesus would want you to.

Some Quotes from Patrick Henry

There is no doubt in my mind that this country was founded primarily on Christian morals. To deny this fact, flies in the face of history. True, not all of the Founding Fathers were devout Christians. However, they all understood that the Christian morality, in particular that all men are created equal, was a good starting point for creating a new country.

The United States was created so that the individual had more rights than the state, and that the state had more rights than the federal government. The Constitution played a key role in making sure this happened. Everything from Checks and Balances to the Electoral College was put in place to make sure that the individual was always heard, no matter how small. This is what makes a country, a republic, so much different from a democracy. For in a democracy, a popular vote where the majority says “yea”, that is all that is needed. Therefore the minority, must go along with the majority. To intentionally recognize the individual as having unalienable rights, is truly Christian indeed.

This weekend I was reminded of one of our Founding Fathers, Patrick Henry. He was a devout, Christian man that is probably best known for making the bold statement: “Give me liberty or give me death”. But did you also know that he also said, “…this great nation was founded, not by religionists, but by Christians…”? What do you think about that statement? Does it make you squirm? Does it make you raise your eyebrows and question? Let me know your thoughts on Patrick Henry and the rest of the Founding Fathers.

“The Constitution is not an instrument for the government to restrain the people, it is an instrument for the people to restrain the government - lest it come to dominate our lives and interests.

It can not be emphasized too strongly or too often that this great nation was founded, not by religionists, but by Christians, not on religions, but on the gospel of Jesus Christ!”

“It is natural for man to indulge in the illusions of hope. We are apt to shut our eyes against a painful truth, and listen to the song of that siren till she transforms us into beasts... For my part, whatever anguish of spirit it may cost, I am willing to know the whole truth, to know the worst, and to provide for it.”

Is life so dear, or peace so sweet, as to be purchased at the price of chains or slavery? Forbid it, Almighty God! I know not what course others may take but as for me; give me liberty or give me death!”

“Bad men cannot make good citizens. It is when a people forget God that tyrants forge their chains. A vitiated state of morals, a corrupted public conscience, is incompatible with freedom. No free government, or the blessings of liberty, can be preserved to any people but by a firm adherence to justice, moderation, temperance, frugality, and virtue; and by a frequent recurrence to fundamental principles.

“Religion I have disposed of all my property to my family. There is one thing more I wish I could give to them, and that is the Christian religion. If they had that and I had not given them one cent, they would be rich. If they have not that, and I had given them the world, they would be poor.”

From Saloon to Church Buildings

I grew up with Vacation Bible School (VBS). This is attributed to the fact that my dad was a preacher, and therefore I grew up in church. I have always been involved in some form of VBS, and so never really gave it much thought. I just assumed everyone did it as well, and that it had always been around! Seriously, I think there was time when I thought Jesus and The Twelve led the first VBS! Of course, that would bring on questions like, “What is the drop off policy for Levites? Who plays Jesus in the skit? And other very confusing questions.

If you hang around Farragut Church long enough, you will hear this phrase about VBS: “it’s for the kids”. And that is absolutely true. We do almost everything that we can to get the kid’s attention. We want them to walk away from the week with a solid foundation that Jesus loves them very much. But I find myself asking, “where does the CONCEPT of VBS come from?” It’s really an interesting story….

As the Christianity Today reported a few years back, VBS originated at the turn of the century in New York City’s East Side. Although Methodists offered “summer Sunday School institutes” as far back as the 1870s, the term VBS is attributed to Mrs. Walker Aylette Hawes, of the Epiphany Baptist Church. Mrs. Hawes was the wife of a doctor who specialized in medical ministry to children. During their initial stay in New York, Mrs. Hawes noted the numerous injuries from the children, and that they more than likely came from playing in the streets. She believed that they “needed something safe and fruitful to occupy their time.”

In 1898, after a near exhaustive search of places that would actually allow her to rent space for such a thing, a saloon (i.e. bar, a place that sells beer) agreed to rent her space for 6 weeks during the summer days. Mrs. Hawes designed her program around music, Bible stories, scripture memorization, games, crafts, drawing, and cooking. By the time of her retirement in 1901, Mrs. Hawes was overseeing seven separate schools in the New York City Area. An interesting fact about her original location, the bar: “Her pastor insisted that the school in 1900 move to the church, Epiphany Baptist Church, located about a mile from the East Side beer hall. After two weeks of meeting at the church, it became clear to Mrs. Hawes that children from the East Side would not attend at the church. She returned the school to a location near the beer hall for the rest of the summer”. It seems, even to this day, that location is everything!

After Mrs. Hawes retired, Dr. Robert Boville took over for her. By 1903, the movement had grown to 17 schools. Over the next four years, schools were opened in Philadelphia and Chicago. In 1911, Dr. Boville established the Daily Vacation Bible School Association as a national organization.

So now that you know where VBS comes from, does that change how you think about it? Do you drive across town to a church’s VBS? If they held it in a bar that was really convenient to you, would you take your kids? Do you participate in another denomination’s VBS? What do you look for in a VBS? Do you hang around, and get to know the staff that are working the VBS? In your opinion, what is the purpose of VBS?