The Song of Solomon is one of those books in the bible that,
for many of us who grew up in church, well, we look at it as awkward. It’s like
we go, “what do we do with that?” And I think it is because of that very question
(and a few others) that the church should spend a consistent amount of time teaching
from it each year.
If you are like me (late 30s, grew up in church, preacher’s
kid, voted most likely to create his own flannel graph ministry for VBS, etc…),
you can’t remember a sermon that had ANY reference, scripture notation,
exegesis, or even a fill in the blank outline regarding any passage from the
Song of Solomon. It was never mentioned. It was like we would memorize the
books of the bible, and when we got to Song of Solomon, we would mention it
real fast so we could catch our breath for the books of the prophets!
Even during the times when we decided as a congregation to read
through the bible in a year, we would somehow skip over it. I can remember coming
back from New Year’s thinking, “Man, I hope the preacher decides we are going
to read through the books of the bible as a congregation! We will actually read
Song of Solomon! I am STOKED!!!” There was Genesis and the creation. I would
ask, “how was it considered a day when the sun hadn’t been created yet?” Of
course, there was the proverbial awkward discussion about Adam and Eve and no
clothes, and for some reason that was when mom decided we needed to go wash my
hands…. Exodus was pretty cool. All
would be going well through the school year: made it through Leviticus! The stories
of David and his mighty men…. Job: good grief! There was that one Sunday morning
where we would try to include a Psalm in EVERY aspect of worship…. I could
always count on a high school graduation sermon on Proverbs. School was over,
and we were off to church camp…. When we got back, we were starting Isaiah!
WHAT?!?! But what happened to The Song of Solomon?!?! The preacher would respond with something
like, “oh, sorry you missed it. We went over that last Sunday while you were
making smores and singing kumbaya,” (while he hugged his wife a little too
tight…. It’s as if it was a conspiracy against The Song of Solomon….
So what is it about the Song of Solomon? Why does the church
seem to have this, well, awkward approach to it?
I know, I know: there was always that older couple that was
a little too touchy touchy in the adult bible study that might reference it
with a “wink wink” when someone asked, “how do you do it?” regarding the
longevity of their marriage. They were cute and all (maybe a little creepy…),
but simply mentioning a book? What’s up with that?? Or maybe you remember being
in a young adult’s class with that late 20s guy, who was still single. You know
which one I am talking about. He would make weird comments about eating pomegranates,
climbing palm trees, watching fawns, and in the same breath sound like he was
justifying his comments by emphasizing how that was all biblical because “it
was in the bible” (The Song of Solomon). He would end his comment about how he couldn’t
wait to get married “to be biblical”, and there was usually an almost sick
chuckle at the end of that statement…. Pomegranates? Palm trees? How in the
world is that biblical???
Truth is, The Song of Solomon is a wonderful description of
a healthy, emotional, and sexual marriage relationship. If one goes back to the
original Hebrew, there are at least three main types of “love” used: raya – friendship,
ahava – commitment, and dod – intimacy. It’s my opinion that a strong, healthy
marriage has an even mix of these three. We see our spouses as our best
friends. We are committed to them no matter what (“….til death do I part”). In
our eyes, they are the most attractive person on the planet (i.e. we don’t try
to change their physical appearance to match something we have seen previously).
This type of relationship, along with a primary focus of a relationship with Jesus,
is the foundation of a strong and healthy marriage.
It’s unfortunate that churches don’t openly study sex more.
God created sex, not the world. Since God created sex, we as Christians should
be the ones defining it. We should be
the ones explaining what a healthy marriage looks like. Sex is an amazing gift
that God gave to a man and woman who have chosen to commit themselves to each
other for the rest of their lives. It is a very powerful act that creates a
mental and emotional bond like nothing else. But when churches simply gloss
over it, they do a disservice to one of God’s greatest creations.
So, if you’re a preacher, I encourage you to preach a sermon
from the Song of Solomon at least once a year. If you are a college minister,
do a study on the Song of Solomon regularly; probably every other month. And if
you are children’s minister: write a song on the books of the bible where you
take a breath before Job.
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