Gifts

Growing up, I didn't celebrate Christmas. Well, we did have gifts. Our parents did a good job of making sure we were not left out when all our friends were getting stuff this time of year. I loved opening presents. Over the years, my brother and sister would kid me that the gift wouldn't matter, as long as I opened a lot of presents. It was so bad, that one year my parents got me a drum set, and they wrapped each drum, cymbal, stand, stick, etc. separately. It was actually pretty cool. Frustrating but cool.

This year was different for me and our family, including our extended family. We got our kids considerably less, and requested considerably less. And you know what? It was awseome. Our children were not asking, "do I have another?" Don't get me wrong. It was hard for the grandparents, but they did it anyway. The kids were just fine.

Gifts are an interesting thing. Why do we give gifts? I know we say we give so that we can make someone happy, but then if they don't respond appropriately when they open it, don't we feel disappointed? I mean, I spent so much time, energy, and money on that gift! It is THE gift for them. Why are they not more excited??? Why do we feel disappointed when they don't react the way WE want them to react?

My wife does an excellent job of giving gifts. I think its her "gift". She has this ability to give me a gift that I am not expecting, that is absolutely perfect for the present time. I am not really sure how she does it. Me on the other hand, I am terrible at giving gifts. That's the reason why you should never tell me "thank you" for a gift that the Wilkins family gave you. More than likely, Michelle was the one who picked it out. I'm just saying....

One of our cousins was asking me what I wanted for Christmas over Thanksgiving. I had to think about it. Finally, I said, "you know, a book is always good thing." And this is a true statement. But let's think about this a little bit further: I had to "THINK" about what I wanted someone to get me. I really struggled with this. I mean, I have a good job. If there is something I want, I usually go buy it. I sometimes come home with a surprise for the kids or the wife for no apparent reason. I usually don't save up my wishes for Christmas, create a list, and then hand it out. I guess that is the reason why some say that I am rather "hard to buy for."

But let's dig even further, because that is where I stayed for a few days. After the conversation with my cousin, I couldn't stop thinking about the concept of buying gifts. The reason for this is there are millions, if not billions of people who just don't have anything. Nothing. Zip. And it was that thought that kept popping in my head. It wouldn't go away. Well, it turns out there are a litany of charity organizations that are begging for people to help out. Compassion International is one of these groups that allows you to sponsor a child for just a few dollars a month. Hope International is another that provides micro loans to self employed people in 3rd world countries. Michelle and I presented the concept of micro finance loans to our college group, and they raised $100 dollars that we gave as a group to this charity. They were so excited! And don't miss the importance in this: 100 dollars is a lot of money for a group of college kids! But they saw a situation where they could give something meaningful and how it would be a positive impact in someone's life. My point in all this is that it seems we do not have to break the bank with our own kids and family, because they are usually content. We can actually provide money to those who truly are in need. And this is exactly what Michelle and I are going to do for 2010, and hopefully, beyond.

Back to the conversation with my cousin. I ended up telling him later on that I really didn't need anything , and that I believed he could do better by purchasing a goat for a family through World Vision or some organzation of his choosing. I also told him about Michelle and I planning to sponsor a child. He got back with me later on, and it turned out that he and his wife were planning on sponsoring a child to. How cool is that?! They had been talking about similar concepts and were struggling with what to do. My thoughts only soldified their decision.

I want to be real clear: this is not a guilt blog to make you go out and give money to an organization. That is not my intent. I want people to understand that for many of us, we give gifts for other reasons than to make the gift reciever happy. And for the gift reciever, they usually have the things they need or want. Now, I know you want to give things to your significant other, kids, favorite son-in-law, etc. And these are good things. But, if you really want to make somebody happy, why not give in a manner that provides for people's basic needs?

* Some Random December Moments

Christmas is fast approaching and we have been doing many things. Today is our first day off from school and I have nothing on the calendar for the next two weeks except travel. Today I have nothing on our agenda except enjoying our day off (unless of course I feel like getting the house scrubbed from top to bottom, wrapping the presents, folding the gigantic pile of laundry and packing for our trip to grandmas ... oh and then cooking meals for my family, but surely they won't be harmed by a few hours without food) A few interesting highlights from our past few weeks...

• I walked around with a splint on my finger for a few days to help remind myself and the smaller members of my family not to use/grab/ or twist it. I recently visited my physician for a general check up and mentioned my middle joint was hurting. After a process of elimination he declared it a tendinitis of the extensor hood due to over twirling. I now have medical documentation that my daughter is above average in twirling. She will hold my finger and twirl over and over and over again. Perhaps I should sign her up for ballroom dancing someday.
• I finally agreed to let my son bring a friend home from school and they had a great time until my son accidentally hit him with a rock and busted his lip and broke a brand new front tooth. There were many emotional responses. The little guy was perhaps the calmest of us all. He was merely bleeding and waiting for his dad. My son was worried his friend wouldn't like him anymore and that his parents would think our house was a dangerous place. My thoughts were somewhat similar and I felt nauseous for days just thinking about that little guys coming to such harm in my home. His parents by the way were terribly gracious and the little guys saw me at school a few days ago and shouted at me across the gym "I am OK!"
• We have finished laying laminate wood in our downstairs in another attempt to make our house look more "buyable" Now we only have to lay 150+ feet of corner round to finish the project - along with getting all the mess out of the garage, but Judah has Christmas Eve off so that is how he can begin his holiday fun:)
• My daughter has been having her graduate courses in dressing decently and maintaining privacy. She is still prone to run around naked shouting for someone to help her with a bath or some wardrobe change. We had to take away all the 3T skirts because they were too short. In these recent lessons she has now become quite the morality police, just ask some of the teenage girls at our church (she will pull up any collar she feels is too revealing). While sitting on my lap last night she turned to me and pulled my collar farther up because apparently I was showing a bit too much cleavage for her taste. I would add that she was sitting on my shirt and her little body was contributing to the issue at hand. However she felt that my neckline was ... and I quote ..."inappropriate."

I hope to do some sort of Christmas themed post soon, but you never know. Timeliness is not my best virtue.

* Quirky Quotes

In order to share the love I thought I would throw out something the kids have made me say that otherwise would have never come out of my mouth. My princess walked around the side of the car yesterday, having recently touched some unknown substance. She repeated the phrase "Ew Ew Ew ew ew ew" A lot. My response...

"Just wipe it on momma."

She felt much better.

Here's a shout out to all the moms who have voluntarily caught projectile vomiting or any other bodily fluid due to some dormant mom gene that ramps up after the birthing process...

Ew.

* Quirky Quotes

This category of posts was designed to help me remember the wonderfully adorable and sometimes randomly wacky things my children say. Today however I am quoting someone else. Judah actually. This goes to show that sometimes children make you say randomly wacky things as well.
During the bedtime activities he encouraged our children to brush their teeth. Since we have recently traveled their tooth brushes were still in the travel bag and it has moved around. After it was located apparently there was some dispute over toothbrush usage because my husband was heard to say...

(to my daughter)

"Use your own toothbrush!!!"

* Where is Winter?

We have completed the Thanksgiving holidays and now are faced with the month of December. Last night we pulled all the boxes out of the attic, but that was all the effort we gave it and promptly went off to bath and bed routines. Sentence number two from my son this morning was "Are we going to put up Christmas today?" I love the wording, not 'the Christmas decorations' but 'Christmas' as though we owned the holiday itself and packed it away in several boxes each year.
In a similar vein of thought I woke up this morning thinking about wearing sweaters and wondering when it would snow. I looked out the window to perhaps our first heavy frost of the season and thought again 'when will it snow?' Apparently I have not outgrown the school girl thinking of snow days. So I ran to my trusty weather center (aka weather.com) and was distressed to learn that while apparently it is snowing in SOUTHERN New Mexico and NORTHERN Mexico there was no snow planned for my area in the next 10 days!
Yesterday my son had a short sleeved t-shirt and my daughter has recycled the pants under skirts routine from last year. Although she has a distressing lack of skirts for this technique this year, all of last years being in the 3T size and she is now -finally- wearing 4T. (I bought a true 4T skirt this weekend and it fell off her, apparently her waist is still in the 2-3T range but her father has emphatically said she can not wear the length of a 3T anymore)

Sigh. Where is winter?

A New Approach to Church

I have been doing a lot of thinking recently. Some of the podcasts I have been listening to have been talking about what the original church looked like. I have also been reading a lot of blogs from church leaders that have been writing about what the church should look like in the 21st century. I have had conversations with other Christians that freely admit that the way we do “Sundays” is not how the early Christians would have done it. In fact, some of these conversations discuss how meeting during the week for bible studies seem to be more in line with what the original Christians had in mind than what we do formally on Sunday mornings.


There seems to be a growing number of people who look at our Sunday morning rituals and are starting to see that they are not conducive to building relationships. We come to a church building, sit in pews facing forward, sing songs to God, but rarely engage in meaningful relationships with those around us. Is it any wonder that churches all across the country are decreasing in attendance? At the same time, this is why home churches, and small group ministries are growing. Let’s face it: one of the main reasons the early Christians met was to foster closer relationships.

I like the concept of home churches and small groups, because these environments allow relationships to grow. But I can’t abandon the thought that we can do something with these multi-million dollar buildings. There is all this SPACE that can be utilized! Some have gymnasiums, cafeterias, preschools, coffee shops, etc. Some churches are massive. Some have their own exit ramps from interstate systems. There is something about church buildings that still draws us to them. Then there are the smaller churches. They may not have a gift shop, but they were still a million dollar investment. And all across the country there are a lot of these churches that sit vacant. It seems such a waste of money to see a church building just sitting there, empty.


And yet, when I talk to people that attend smaller churches, most talk about the relationships they have fostered. It seems, smaller congregations are much more suitable to creating strong relationships than larger ones. That is why many congregations (mini and mega included) have small group ministries. People develop strong relationships in small group settings.


So back to the my original statement: I am hearing lot about how the way we do things on Sunday mornings isn’t the way it was originally intended, and this environment isn’t good to develop strong relationships. So I started working on something that is designed for smaller churches, that is modeled after the mega church environment where there is a lot going on because there are so many people. What if we could create an environment that felt like it “flowed”? What if we could create an environment that allowed individuals to choose when they worshiped, when they went to class, provided time to fellowship, and offer periods of counseling? Below, is what came out of a late night discussion with a great friend of mine.



I was thinking of how the Jewish temple was always open. People did not always arrive at the same time, although they did have some set hours for prayer, etc. Something was always going on. People “flowed” from one aspect of the temple to the other. Jews wanted to go to the temple. To them, that was where God was. For us today, we know that God lives inside of us, but there is still this strong desire for us to “get together”. We have this deep desire to come together, but when we do and sit in a pew, or don’t talk with any one, we sometimes don’t feel fulfilled. We “checked a box”, or did our part by showing up on Sundays, but there was still something missing. Let me try to explain each of these time frames and how they interact with each other.

Communion – Why do we come together? The purpose of Sundays gets its roots from Acts 2:43-47 (one of only a few passages) that mention the believers coming together to take the Lord’s Supper. Communion is an extremely important event to a Christian. It is a meal where we are to discuss, reflect, teach about, etc. what Jesus did for us. This part of Christianity can actually be dated back to the Passover, which God instituted with the Israelites in the book of Exodus. It is one of the most important aspects of being a Christian.
This time could be started with songs as a large group. We would be sitting around tables where discussion could be easier than in pews facing forward. Maybe some would get up and congregate with other families. Maybe, background music would be played. This would also be a time where parents could discuss more openly about why Jesus died, and go back to the command given by God in Deuteronomy 6: 4-9, “…repeat them [commands from God] again and again to your children…”

Worship Experience – As you can see, the worship experience continues for almost three hours. This a period where people can gather and sing, have a prayer, read scripture, play a video, give a declaration, etc. The beauty of this time is that it is not scripted. It would also be a smaller group setting (depending on the number in your congregation). This type of environment would lend itself to parent’s encouraging their children to lead a song, give a prayer, etc.

There would be facilitators who could start songs, prayer, play a contemporary song, etc. but they were not doing this the entire time. If someone felt moved to lead a song, they would do that. It’s important to note that the same facilitators would not be there the entire three hours. This time would be managed by multiple facilitators that could be scheduled at different times. The entire church body could come and go as they pleased. According to how they were participating in the other areas of the building would dictate when or how long they stayed in the worship experience. And without a scripted order of worship we would actually be giving the Holy Spirit the opportunity to do his job and lead worship. The body would be lifting itself up instead of having a small number of people being overworked and somehow being promoted into a ‘higher’ level of Christianity.

Classes – each of the classes are in 50 minute blocks. It’s important to note that these classes in the diagram above are examples. They could be any number of classes, arranged in any number of orders. The point of the diagram is to show that multiple classes are going on. Members can choose how many classes they want to attend, depending on the topics and the needs they have on their lives.

Family experience – This aspect of the Sunday morning worship is important as well. This is the time where parents and children are being taught and engaged as a family. For us, family experience is when we do our high energy music, skits, videos, audience participation, etc. It’s a production and is designed to introduce the bible story to be focused on for the week. It is very high level, and it is very entertaining. This way, it is more memorable. That is why it is important that parents of these children are present and involved. The children are going to be asking questions about characters in the skit, and the parents should know what is going so they can answer their children’s’ questions appropriately.

Large group – This is a period where the children are in a large group setting without the parents. The bible story is reinforced one more time, and there is possibly a video or multimedia presentation to compliment the bible story.

Small group – this period is when children are broken into groups of 5 – 8 where the small group leaders can go over the bible message one more time, while also fostering relationships from child to child.

So what would a typical Sunday look like? I created a couple of examples of how I think different types of families could participate in this form of coming together.

Example #1 – A typical family would show up at the church building around 9am. They would go to the worship part for about an hour, and then head to Family experience. During this time, mom and dad would be engaged with their children as they start to focus on the bible story of the week. When the children go to Large Group, the parents can then go to a class that is available. In this particular example, it could be a class on handling money responsibly, or a study of the book of Acts. After this 50 minute block, the family would come back together to have communion with other families. There would be songs sung as a large group. During this time, the parents would talk to their children the importance of remembering what Jesus did. It’s also possible that other families would migrate from table to table, having conversation and fellowship with each other.

Example #2 – An empty nest couple could attend this congregation by showing up around 8:30. They like the idea of getting their morning started early. Again, this communion period would be started with songs, a group of families would be gathered, and the focus would be on taking a meal together, remembering what Jesus did for them. After a period of time the empty nesters decide to go to the class on The Beatitudes. They like this class, as it is a lecture style class. It is very similar to sermons they have experienced at other churches. After this class, they meet some friends, and fellowship with them for a few minutes before going off to the worship part of the congregation. After a period of worship (the length of which is their choosing), they decide to leave, going about their Sunday. (Or in a radical way of thinking – they finish with their personal worship by 11:00 and can now lead a small group of children and participate in growing the next generation as well)

It’s important to note that the focus is being fluid from one aspect of a Sunday morning to another. We should not get hung up on the schedule. There are many ways this type of Sunday morning can be scheduled. This is not just a three service church – the worship experience is fluid and nonstop. The classes would change over time and potentially the time your family arrives/departs would change as you attend the portions you need, in theory allowing you to mix more fully with the entire congregation instead of early and late service attendees never overlapping. There is no more early and late sessions. The worship experience is dependent on those in the room at the time – if it isn’t what you like, you played a part in making it that way. I recognize that this change would take A WHILE to get used to, but should encountering God be such a habit that we no longer have to think about it to do it?

So my question to you is… would you attend a church like this?

* 8 Squash

I may have commented before about our gardening attempts. Last summer (08) was our first garden, during which time we successfully fed the rabbits and squirrels in our neighborhood. We ourselves came away with two squash which I served to some guests in a squash casserole. Had I known at the time it was to be the only produce of that summer I may have selfishly horded it and served it only to myself.

Enter summer of 09 when I much more realistic expectations about the animals in our neighborhood, my son had much greater leeway to chase them out of the yard and occasionally throw dirt at them. (Animal rights activists please note that my opinion of the odds of him actually hitting a fleeing rabbit were so low as to see this as a safe activity for the rabbits - and I may say that he did a splendid job) They still managed to eat all the green beans and carrots, which is not surprising for anyone who has read Beatrix Potter's stories about Peter Rabbit. I testify that my sympathy for Mr. Mac Gregor has increased dramatically and feel no sympathy for the rabbit who DISOBEYED his mother and STOLE food from a hard working farmer.

We succeeded in harvesting eight squash this year. Shortly after the eight were harvested I went to the beach with the kids, it didn't rain for a week and the garden was dead upon our arrival home. Not wanting to 'waste' these squash I was careful as to when I used them, but I did not want to actually be selfish. I served them in three meals, all with guests, all differently prepared. Since you are dying to know I will make a list...

• Sauteed with butter and garlic - served to our friends in Memphis (although in all truth I observed this preparation rather than be of any help - and for those who know, sometimes it is best to just observe her than get it the way :) )
• Mixed vegetable saute, different spices than before - served at college dinner - never too big a fan of vegetables, young adults will indulge me and try what I make. I liked it and felt terribly healthy being able to say we had "mixed vegetables" as a side dish.
• Squash casserole (the stand-by) - served at this past week's senior dinner (I ate the last of the leftovers yesterday - yum)
  

I took some lovely pictures of the garden when it was fresh and new and I am going to share them because I think everyone agrees with me (until proven otherwise- which has happened on occasion)

Those are some good looking green beans - and apparently tasty 'cuz the rabbits couldn't get enough. I did get some for seeds so maybe I will get to eat some someday. I found how the green beans grew from their plant fascinating - maybe you will too. Check out how the bean pushes out from the flower...

Since it is squash that I was talking about in the first place I will share a picture of the gorgeous vines (that go everywhere and annoy Judah for invading his lawn)

The vines at the bottom were actually watermelon, which never produced anything but cute little flowers. As winter gets closer I enjoy looking at garden pictures - a reminder that I will come out on the other side of the cold and get to plant things again.

Hopefully in 2010 we will harvest even more than 8 squash.

Knowing God

This post is mainly for the guys in our Men’s Wednesday morning bible class. I wanted to have some follow up on John 17. We had some really good discussion, but I felt like taking some of those thoughts a little further. Below, is a compilation of notes from this chapter.

In John 17: 3, Jesus is pretty clear what eternal life is: Knowing the father, and Jesus Christ, His Son. The next question is, how do we know the Father and his son? The amazing thing, is that this chapter explains this. In short, to know the Father is to have a relationship with Him where any desire or temptation we should have would be quenched. In other words, we would be tempted, but we would not give in to that temptation, because the relationship we have with God is satisfying. So, how do we have that relationship with God?

I believe one way we have that relationship is to know what truth is. Vs. 6-8 Jesus mentions that He “has given them the words that God had given Him”. This is the bible. I believe that Jesus sees this as a very important part of knowing God. He even mentions it again in vs. 17. Part of a relationship with God is to study the bible, and to understand what it says. This knowledge of the bible also helps to strengthen our moral compass. It provides what is right and wrong. Our brain will establish what is right or wrong on its own, if we let it. But to study truth, as God would have it, helps to solidify what is truly right and what is truly wrong. When we desire a relationship with God, we will try to do what He says.

We are also to “live in the world”. I believe this helps in understanding where the world is heading, and how it works. God does not call us to move into isolation, and focus on ourselves. We are to be a beacon of light to the world. Our actions should be such that they are a positive impact on those around us. I think we can also better reach the world by understanding how it works. Science has shown in numerous disciplines that there is a creator, and He is active in different aspects of life, environment, and social structures. We can show, through chemistry, biology, mathematics, physics, etc. that God exists. This “knowledge of God’s creation” can also satisfy that voice in our head that may say, “where did I come from?” I don’t believe that we all have to be researchers, but I do believe that God wants us to recognize His creation around us. We see this in the plants, the blue skies, the water cycle, and the stars, just to name a few. When we look on God’s creation, we see His foot print.

Another way of knowing God is through relationships. Vs. 20 – 24 discusses Jesus’ desire that, not only the apostles, but us as well, are unified. It’s interesting that Jesus mentions that “the world will know You sent me” by the relationships we foster. Of course, these have to be healthy relationships. The relationships we have must be positive in nature. Being unified does not mean we focus on ourselves. We can’t be selfish in a unified relationship. We are focused on others. We want what is in their best interest.

So how do we do that? How do we know God through relationships? I believe we do this through sharing hardships, through fellowship with others, celebrating our successes with each other, and even supporting each other during our failures. In other words: we know each other, we trust each other, we share with each other. When we know those we associate with, we are that much closer to having a relationship with God. Again, God does not call us into isolation. He wants us to have relationships with others. He wants us to be united in our beliefs.

We cannot have meaningful relationships with others JUST ON Sundays. I am sorry, but it just won’t work. Having meaningful relationships with others is dirty business. Think about it: If you are married, do you always get along with your spouse? Maybe you have a best friend. Do you always agree with them? Now, it may be that you know your spouse or best friend so well that you can usually answer for them, but that is different from “never fighting”. Having a true relationship with someone means that you know everything about them. It means that when there is a disagreement, “going your separate ways” is not an option because it is not even in your dictionary. Neither of you would know what that means. You cannot see yourself separated from them. You disagree about a certain topic, yes, but you know that eventually there will be a resolution. Having a meaningful relationship with someone takes work, and it is two sided. It’s funny, being unified is a “two way street”….

I believe that positive relationships are addictive. If others see me in a relationship that is healthy, then they want one as well. As others experience healthy relationships, it spreads like wild fire. I believe this is what God intended. We all desire a close relationship. God made us that way. It’s His way of bringing heaven to earth, and He wants to experience eternal life.

So, eternal life is knowing God. Knowing God is studying His word (and following His commandments – evangelism, helping others, being a positive influence in the world, etc.), studying His creation, and having positive, meaningful relationships with others.

What are your thoughts? Would you add anything to this list?

* Laziness

Honestly - I have no right to pick on my blogger friends any longer for their time away and gaps in their posts. I have not posted in well over a month and perhaps longer. It got to the point when it had been so long I was avoiding saying anything because I felt such an absence warranted a really profound return blog. I have no such thing. Life moves along and I am missing profound moments. I am not feeling the overwhelmed sensation I went through last holiday season, although the holidays approach. I have no really good excuse for not blogging, so I will blame it on laziness. My old trusty stand-by.

I had great thoughts the other day about little boys when my second grader dove to the ground in the middle of some conversation for NO REASON then looked up at me and said "I just had to do that!" I thought 'that would inspire a great blog...' then I promptly went on with my day.
We have recently begun rock climbing as a family and I have taken the college girls a few times - a wonderful experience. It occurred to me that the differences between how my children climb and how I and the college girls climb could be a interesting lesson/commentary on trust, but I let that one go too.
I am teaching a gymnastics class on Tuesdays at a preschool and my daughter sits in a four year old class. The teacher is a splendid mix of firm and silly. My daughter and her friends know that their silent/pay attention word is "salami" and when on the carpet they all sit on their "coolio." My daughter busted out with "I know what a coolio is" one day at dinner and I truly did not know what she was going to say. How could one not stop and comment on such fantastic silliness?
I did not do any adorable Halloween post, although my sister, mom, and nieces came and we were surrounded by a very adorable Belle, Strawberry Shortcake (the hat was toooooo cute) and Wonder Woman, as well as very stealthy and cool Snake Eyes (ours talked)
My son's class is going through a change in teachers mid year and this has sparked some conversations in our home - no blog however...
KidZone is going well but I have visions and desire for more...no blog.
I found myself on the yearbook committee once again and I am not that excited about it. This will surely come up in blogs after the first of the year...

Etc, etc, etc.

I am so lazy.

Forgiveness

Not sure where this one is heading.
Recently, I have been teaching a class on forgiveness. For me, teaching a specific topic seems to have more meaning than I really expect at the time. Events happen that seem to be random, but are associated with the topic. I hear things through podcasts or people’s conversations that are completely relevant to what I am teaching. I tend to plan to teach the topic in a certain direction, and then these events happen that steer me in another. It seems to always happen that way! Not really sure what that means.
Anyway, back to forgiveness. A couple of Sundays ago I talked about revenge. I’ll be honest, revenge movies are some of my favorite. As soon as I started talking about revenge, the movie Taken came into my head. When this movie came out, I took Michelle to see it. I could truly relate to the character played by Liam Neeson. There is just something about being able to relate to the characters in these movies! Problem with revenge, is that it’s a cycle. When is enough, enough? It also escalates. It is also a personal problem with me and God. It says, “God, in this instance, I will be the judge. Your justice is not good enough.” Revenge also justifies heinous acts that we would “normally” say are wrong.
This weekend I taught on Matthew 18: 21 – 35. I usually hear this story in relationship to how we have to forgive people all the time. I taught from the point that if you want to live by the book (tit for tat), then God will let you. It was a different approach to a bible story. We had some good discussion, and I think it opened a few eyes on how we handle relationships. Do we treat our relationships like a positive and negative column? Positive column would be when people say good things about us, include us conversations, invite us to dinner, etc. Negative would be excluding us from lunch, not getting us a present on our birthday, pouting when someone hurts our feelings. How we treat that person is related to the sum of the positive and negative results. God tells us, “if you want to live by the book, I will let you.” He however, threw out the book when His son died for everyone. He wants us to do the same.
We were eating lunch with some friends this weekend, and the topic of a high profile trial came up. Somebody asked me if I could vote for the death penalty, and I immediately answered, “yes”. I didn’t even think about it too much. My head was killing me, and all I wanted to do was go home and take a nap. Later that day, the thought hit me, “how come I answered so quickly”? Is it so easy for me to write off someone’s life? Just because someone did such a terrible crime does not negate the fact that they were created in the image of God. But still: I can’t disregard the acts I would go to for my wife, or my children….
Yesterday, the talk radio show I listen to, talked about capital punishment. The host had one of his buddies from college on, who happened to be a high profile radio host in another market. The point: they were friends, good friends, and they had completely polar opposite views on the death penalty.
I just finished listening to a podcast on “Blessed are the Peacemakers”, one of the Beatitudes. Some of the points are: 1) Do we project our deepest fears and place them on others (homophobia, government conspiracies, racism, etc.)? This creates a “they are evil, we are good” situation. 2) The podcast mentions the story of Joshua when he comes in contact with the leader of the Lord’s army (Joshua 5:13-15). Joshua asks him, “are you for us, or against us?”. The angel replies, “neither”. What?!? I mean, he is Joshua! He is one of the spies that says with God on our side no one can defeat us! The angel of the Lord is not on Joshua’s side? What is going on here? He then tells Joshua to take off his sandals for he is on holy ground. The story then goes into the Fall of Jericho. That’s it. Nothing else. It’s the weirdest story….. We look at life as, “you are either on my side or on their side.” God sees life as “everyone is my creation. If you come at them with hate and fear, you are not showing them My love that I have for them.”
It seems forgiveness is more than just a topical discussion to be taken up on Sunday mornings. I guess, God is trying to tell me something.

More or Less, Catalyst09 continued

Rob Bell is one of those guys that I really like to pay attention to. He speaks the way he writes. I like that. For some reason, I get lost in a dialogue when I start to listen to an author for the first time, and he doesn’t “sound” like what I was expecting. Rob isn’t like that. If you have ever read any of his books, be assured that he speaks about the same way.

Rob’s lecture at the Catalyst conference really got me thinking. Again, you have to remember that he is speaking to 13,000 ministry leaders. His initial question was, “is bigger better?” For the majority of those in attendance the initial reaction (and mine included) was, “YES!” Every ministry I have been a part of had always had a bullet in the goals and objectives section that had to with growth. That is just what you do. Ministries are supposed to grow. If they are not growing, then they are not healthy. And for reason, I have always put a numerical value (attendance) on this action. Rob doesn’t do that.

He said things like:
Sometimes crowds thin. John 6:60 - “…this is very hard to understand. How can anyone accept it?” John 6:66 -“…many of His disciples turned away and deserted Him.” I don’t like this teaching. I want my ministry to grow, numerically. Rob used this scripture to show that God is more interested in healthy ministries, than ones based on numbers.
Do what God asks of you, NOT based on popularity. Sometimes, being right is not very popular. And when that happens, the crowds will thin. Guaranteed.
God will never ask, “Why were you not more like Moses?” He is going to ask, “Why were you not more like you?” We forget this sometimes, don’t we? We know the teachings, but for some reason we still compare ourselves to prophets, elders, teachers, preachers, etc. God wants to know what I did with my life. I need to stop worrying about how I don’t measure up to whom ever, and use that wasted energy on doing His will through me!
God tells us to do this; this thing right here, right now. We shouldn’t get focused on growing it. When He is ready, then He will give us something else. That is what we need to be focused on; understanding when He says, “here try this now.”

Whatever it is that you are doing right now, focus on that, and do it well. That is what you were made for.

Here is another post from our trip to Catalyst09 this year.

Malcolm Gladwell, author (Tipping Point, Blink, and Outliers)
I’ll be honest, Malcolm was my favorite speaker. I think he was Michelle’s as well. What is most interesting about Malcolm being one of the main speakers at Catalyst is that he is not considered a “Christian speaker”. This man has so much respect from guys like Andy Stanley and Reggie Joiner that he is given a 30+ minute segment to talk about whatever he wants! And what he wanted to talk about was arrogance in leadership. Here are a few points from his talk:
1) Experts make mistakes
2) Most people tend to overestimate the value of extra bits of information.
3) Discussed the concept of mis-calibration – thinking you know more than you actually know
4) Leaders make mistakes, not from a lack of knowledge, but from and because you have knowledge.
5) “Incompetence is irritating, but overconfidence is scary”.
6) Experts are usually trapped by confidence.
7) “What we need in times of crisis from our leaders is not daring decisions but humility”.
In organizations that you are involved in, do you look to your leaders for answers? Do your leaders admit they make mistakes? Do they come across as arrogant? Are your leaders humble?

Not Right Now....

I plan to post about our experiences from Catalyst09 over the next week or so. Below, is one of the more impactful talks I heard.

One of the speakers asked this question: “Does your family get your best, or what is left over from ministry?” His point was that sometimes we use ministry as an excuse when we recognize we are neglecting our families. Ministry leaders are amazingly susceptible to putting families second, third, or even fourth. This is not how it is to be. Family is only second to God. We sometimes forget that, or at least assume that the family understands what the priorities are when it comes to “saving souls”. It’s so easy for us to go off thinking that “only we can save that person”. The whole time, God is looking down on us going, “really? Only you can save that person? Please….” Here is another question the speaker asked that really punched me right in the face: Has your child ever SEEN you say, “No, I cannot do that now. I am playing with my son or daughter right now. It will have to wait until I am done.” Our kids need to SEE what is important in OUR lives.

The hard part about ministry is balancing family life and "ministry" life. If you really know Michelle and I, you know we "try" to solve this problem by combining them. Our children are with us as much as possible. Michelle and I do a lot of ministry work as a team. We will also periodically balance out the kids by having one of us at home when the other needs to do some type of "ministry" thing. Let's face it: Michelle is usually the one who stays home while I go off trying to "save someone". So when the speaker asked the question if my kids ever saw me turn down a ministry role for them, it really hit me hard. Because the answer is no, or at least I can not think of one. What this tells my son or daughter is that"ministry is more important than him or her". Whoa....

As "the man of the house", my first priority is to God, my second priority is to my wife, the third priority is to my children, and then the next is everything else; even if i am a ministry leader. I'll be honest: that is a hard statement to write out. If our children continually see that they are put second when it comes to ministry, this will have negative impacts down the road. More than likely, they will turn away from "church", because of resentment from me always putting ministry first in their lives. The same could be said for spouses as well.

I sometimes assume that doing ministry is putting God first. But that is not necessarily so. Putting God first is having that relationship with Him where you know where you stand. You know He is with you and is for you in all things. You see Jesus in everyone you come in contact with. You work hard every day at your job, performing at it as though God was your direct report. You wake up every morning asking God, "make it obvious who You want me to impact today."

If we are not careful, we begin to think that we are the only ones who can help that person. "I know them better than anyone else", we might say. Or we are the only ones who can grow this church. Our plans are the only thing that are going to help this ministry to succeed. When this happens, we are not doing ministry, because we are not including God in our plans.

Being a ministry leader does not give us a free pass from the responsibilities of our families for the sake "of the Kingdom". So here is my question: If you are a ministry leader, how do you balance time with your family, with your spouse, with your children, with your given ministry?

Bring the Kids Along!

Recently, a good friend of mine told me, “I don’t see how you do it.” He was referring to how Michelle and I do all that we do in the ministry arena without sacrificing time with our kids. One of my good friends wrote a post that I believe sheds some light on our philosophy. However, I feel a little more clarification may be in order.
Michelle and I work with our church family on a variety of fronts. We love the fact that we are involved, but not “in charge” of a lot. True, we are the college ministry leaders, but that really is it in an official capacity. We are also involved in our children’s ministry, the ladies ministry, men’s ministry, youth, worship, and benevolence. When I write it all out, it does seem like a lot. But take my word for it, we do make time for ourselves and the kids on a regular basis. It just may not seem like it from others’ perspectives. When the cell phones go straight to voicemail, the home phone is off the hook, and we are not answering the front door, you know we are having “Wilkins Family Day”.
Anyway, back to what this post is about: I am a firm believer in that ministry is your way of life. We decided a long time ago that we would do our best to not separate our “church life” from our “personal life”. We try to model our life on how Jesus lived His life. We make a point, especially in teaching our children, that there is no difference in church time, family time, or ministry time. When Jesus came on to the scene, He took the sacred (the temple and the laws), and combined them with the common (you and me). I have a post in my head that better explains this, but for now, let’s focus on the fact that God is with us in all settings, not just church. I’ll be the first to admit that we are not perfect. But this is our overall philosophy.
One example is how we run our college ministry. In just about all situations, our children are present when we do something with the college adults. We have the college adults over for dinner once a month. My children are not “dismissed” from the room. In fact, the college adults love playing with our kids, almost as much as our kids love playing with them. Our kids eat dinner with them. They play games with them. In fact, many of my sons’ favorite movies are also favorites of the college adults. There have been numerous occasions where we all found ourselves watching a movie that my son or daughter picked out. We do not tell them to “go play”. This interaction, in my opinion, tells my children that they are important. It is also an environment where they learn from others. And these “others” are those that I trust with my children. If you know anything about Michelle and I, it is that we are very particular about what our children are exposed to. It is our responsibility as parents to raise our children the way God wants them raised. We believe the best way to do that is to have them exposed to numerous and different environments, within the confines of our control! College ministry is a perfect example of that. We have anime, book scholars, community school, gamers, working full time, movie critics, as well as others, in our group. Its an eclectic group! And let’s face it: college adults are cool. Children want to be around “cool” things. So, being involved in the college adults just makes sense. Our children know that we are the college ministry leaders, but they also know that they (my kids) are special.
Another example is our work with an inner city church. Again, we bring our kids along. Our kids see the college adults interact with those that have hardly anything. They see their parents and other adult volunteers interacting with “the least of these”. But more importantly, they themselves are interacting with children their own age that have hardly anything. To me, this is an amazing learning experience for my children. I can honestly say that both of my children do not see “color” or “social status” when they talk about their friends at the inner city church. I love that!
There have been times when we do tell the kids they can not come along. In these instances, I avoid phrases like, “when you get older you will understand.” I do my best to be honest with them, and decide how much of the situation they are ready to hear. “Mommy needs to go bail a girl out of jail.” “Daddy is going to go help one of the guys talk through a difficult choice he needs to make”. As you might expect, these types of statements set off a flurry of questions. We do our best to answer their questions; trying to balance what will satisfy their inquisitiveness, without giving them information that they are not ready for. Again, we the parents are deciding what the best inputs for our children are. There are situations that we feel they are ready for, and others that they are not. There are times when the phrase, “because I said so”, or something similar is used. But we really try to limit those responses.
I’ll be honest, our life is unique. And there are times when I do need a break. I am not perfect. Periodically, things get to me. But in general, this is who we are. We really try to have our kids involved in all the things that we do. Very rarely do we get babysitters so that we can go take care of something “ministry” related. Babysitters are for mommy/daddy dates! We try to teach our kids that God is present all the time. God is with us when we go to the football game. God is with us when we meet with others on Sunday mornings. God is with us when we go to grandmas. God is with us on daddy/daughter night, or mommy/son night. God is with us on “Wilkins Family day”. How about you? Where do your children fit in to your life?

John ch. 5, Do I want to be healed?

Well, I didn’t get through both chapter 5 and 6 of John this morning. We only finished chapter 5, and that’s OK. Chapter 6 is challenging enough all on its own. Below, are only a few excerpts from our study.
Our group this morning spent a lot of time on discussing the thought, “do I want to be healed?” In the first part of chapter 5, Jesus heals a man who has had some type of illness for 38 years. Jesus asks the man, “do you want to be healed?” Initially, one could ask, “well, who doesn’t want to be healed?? Especially if I have been sick for long!” And I’ll be honest, that is how I took it. My gut reaction to this passage, is “why does Jesus ask Him the question?” The discussion this morning centered around this thought.
Do I want to be healed? There are things in our life that we put in front of God. For some, we even worship aspects of this world, and these are a sickness to us. So the question is then raised, do we want to be healed from these sicknesses in our body? I think part of the reason why the question is so powerful has to do with the result if we say yes. If we allow Jesus to heal us, then we actually have to get up and do something, just like the man in the passage. It would no longer be expected for him to beg for his daily living. He would now have to get a job. He would have to work. There would now be expectations from others of him. Do we want to be healed of our sicknesses, and have expectations placed on us? This line of thought is part of what it means to know Jesus.
We also talked about Jesus’ declaration of who He was. This is mainly from the passage of 5:31 – 47. We see where the religious leaders sent messengers to John, and John told them about Jesus. Jesus himself did miracles in front of them. God, written in the Old Testament, testifies about Jesus. These leaders of the law would have known this. They searched the scriptures, and those scriptures would have told them about Jesus. So the thought in our discussion this morning was raised, “they knew Jesus, they just didn’t believe Him.”
For Christians today, this should be eye opening. Do we believe what we say about Jesus? We are taught, even from an early age who Jesus is. But when is it that we actually believe Him? Belief requires action on our part. At some point we have to confront this concept. We either believe what Jesus says, and try to change our lives accordingly, or we don’t and keep living our lives the way we always have, without any attempt to become better people. If we are not careful, we will busy our lives with “good things”, and over look Jesus in our lives. We try to distract ourselves from this inevitable confrontation.
Knowing Jesus also means seeing Jesus in others. By this, I mean understanding that every person is a unique creation from God. This morning, I used the example of having to see Jesus in someone who may have abducted my child. What I mean by this is that my initial reaction should take me back to the fact that everyone is created by God. Evil exists in this world. That I truly believe. But every human being was created by God. When we look at people (EVERYONE) in this light, if nothing else, it allows us to stop and think, even for a split second, about who this person is. I am not saying I am perfect. I am saying I think that is how true Christianity starts.

Book of John

I have been studying the gospel of John recently. Its actually pretty cool. It doesn't necessarily "fit" the other gospels, and in some circles is not considered a synoptic gospel. It seems to be written to counter the teaching that Jesus was only Spirit, and not also flesh. It also has evangelistic under tones to Greek Jews. There is also some debate as to who actually wrote it. In other words, some believe the author was not the apostle John, but another "John" in later formation of the early Christian faith. In any event, the gospel of John is really quite amazing.

I am presently studying chapters 5 and 6. I have to teach on them in the morning for a men's bible study I am a part of each week. These two chapters have some really weird stuff in them. Look at what I have to deal with!

John 5:1 - 13 - Jesus heals a lame man.
Why does't Jesus heal others at the pool?
Why does he ask the man if he wants to be healed? Who doesn't want to be healed?!?

John 5:24 - "...those who listen and believe...will have eternal life."
Is there a difference in knowing and believing?

John 6:1-14 - Jesus feeds the multitude
Why doesn't Jesus just create the food? Why does He use the bread and fish from the little boy?

John 6:16-21 - Walking on water
He walks on water! How cool is that!?! Who wouldn't want to do that?!!
"...immediately the boat arrived at the their destination!" - WHAT?!?!

John 6:35 - He declares Himself the Bread of Life.
Where is He going with this?

John 6:53-58 - To me, this part is a little weird. I'll be honest. I dont' think I get it completely. "eat my flesh"? "Drink my blood"? Even if you look at the original Greek, and I am no Greek scholar, supposedly John uses verbs that are defined as a "chomping" or "chewing" action..... What?

Well, as you can see I have my work cut out for me. It seems, I may need to chew on the Word for a little bit....

* Anniversary List

Some weeks ago Judah and I celebrated our anniversary and I had in mind a post I wanted to do in honor of that occasion, but as it often happens with me, I put it off and procrastinated until it no longer seems currently relevant. We will blame Judah for this as he arranged for my mom to come get the kids so we could have the weekend to ourselves and go visit Lake Lure/Chimney Rock North Carolina. While he was entertained by the ability to twitter from many places while there, especially the top of Chimney Rock itself - we did have a lovely time where he actually paid attention to me and not the bars on his phone.

My plan for the anniversary post was not to list the wonderful things about Judah himself but rather have it more focused on myself!!! :) Or more to the point, the things about me that Judah must put up with. After reading this list you will more fully know how wonderful he is by realizing what he must endure in his daily life...

1. I am always late. I was late to the wedding and I have been late ever since. Note the reference to putting this post off until it makes no sense to bring it up. Judah is always early - ALWAYS. This makes for some interesting moments when we are going somewhere. In reality it means he is always waiting on me, but he has been known to show some grace when we arrive somewhere ridiculously early and turn to me and say "well I guess we are a little early."
2. I sleep with a body pillow. A hold over from two pregnancies where laying on ones side gets rather uncomfortable. I love holding a pillow in my sleep. Judah believes that this pillow means that I take a disproportionate amount of the bed space. While I have repeatedly shown him that I am within my side - the headboard cleverly has a line in the middle that I can use as evidence of my being well away from his territory- he persists in this belief that I creep into his space. Since his perception is what he lives with and not reality he shows me great kindness by tolerating my invasion.
3. I can get quite tunnel visioned when reading or watching a movie. Judah has a sixth sense about these things and frequently calls five minutes before the conclusion or sits down as I am coming to the conclusion of a chapter. After many years I am learning to close the book - without even finishing a paragraph sometimes! Judah is proud of me when I close the book but loves me anyway WHEN I ABSOLUTELY CAN NOT DO IT AND MUST FINISH THE CHAPTER.
4. I am a late night snacker. Sometimes when the children are in bed I like to reward myself with some warm break and bake cookies and some milk. I know that eating late is not the best decision - but it the only way to eat food without vultures hovering over my plate. While Judah occasionally encourages us to eat healthier he generally is gracious about sharing my late night cookies.
5. I like to count things. Only those who live with me would know and it can be an amazingly intrusive habit. Counting the stairs every time you go up or down, counting the deck of cards before we play... The movie company that has the image with the stars that come trailing in and form an arch - there are twenty-two. Each time that comes on the screen Judah leans over and very sweetly asks if they have changed the number? No they have not.
6. I can manipulate with the best of them. Judah frequently finds himself eating at restaurants without knowing how he got there. Doesn't his wife stay at home? Shouldn't that mean he gets home cooked food upon his arrival home from work? Served by a woman in a skirt and apron and pearls and perfectly coiffed hair? Apparently not.
7. I love to sleep. My husbands desire to never be late means that he can get up whenever he needs to - in order to avoid the crushing experience of being late. As being late doesn't phase me too much I sleep until the last possible second. I like to take naps, which I generally only get on Sundays now - or when I am sick. A couple months ago I had to miss my Sunday nap for a church function and Judah forsook his nap in a moment of solidarity. The next week he had a church function and I promptly went home and took a nap anyway - no solidarity for you honey.
8. I hate to take medicine. I have been known to grimace through some rough pain. I have migraines and will generally take my meds for them, but not always. Judah has been known to put pills in my mouth without my permission. He can be quite rude about it really. Something about the silliness of not taking a prescription when that is the purpose of the medication in the first place - completely inefficient to avoid the drugs if it will make me feel better. Judah does love to be efficient.
9. I say I'm sorry - A LOT. I am sorry for things I have no control over. Ever the efficient one Judah doesn't always see why I say I am sorry - if it wasn't my fault, I can't do anything about it, and it isn't really a negative thing anyway - why say that? Bless him - I just can't help myself. I want to do so much more that I can or should. HE must provide limits and that can make him look the bad cop in the scenario, when it really just being a good husband/father.
10. I love lists. I love to 'talk about we are doing today' Let's plan our Saturday until we have wrung every moment out of it :) I can honey-do list like no one else.
11. I am a procrastinator - not quite the same as being late. You can procrastinate and still be on time. I can do both - Judah finds this all very stressful. Procrastination does not lead to lateness although it looks like it does. It is a fine mind that can see the difference.
12. I am a girl. Judah is a boy and therefore I do not make sense most of the time - but he claims to love me anyway!

Isn't he a good guy to put up with me?

Funerals

I went to a funeral this week. One of my uncles died from cancer. He had cancer for over a year. I met people that new my uncle for almost his entire life. Some of them had not talked to him in over 15 years. And yet, they still showed up for his funeral. Even the doctor, who was from out of town showed up. My uncle also had family members that were there that were with him almost 24 hours a day toward the end of his life. He wasn't married, nor had he ever been. He had no children. Closest relationship he had was a brother and his sisters.
Why do people come to funerals? Is it out of respect for the person that died? Is it out of respect for the family? Is it a formal way of saying good by? I remember right before they closed the casket, a guy walked through the door, down the aisle, and over to the casket. He looked at my uncle for about 5 seconds, and then turned around, and walked out. No one knew who he was!
While I was there, my mom talked about how she wanted her funeral (or lack there of). One of my aunts also chimed in, explaining her wishes. They both wanted "something simple". "Don't make a big fuss," they each agreed. They were also adamant that they did not want to be cremated, however. Something about "coming back to haunt you" rings a bell.....
My uncle had already prepared for the funeral. He had gone to the funeral home a while back, and paid for it, picked out his coffin, and even prepared the type of service (visitation schedule, length of time, etc.). I got the impression that there was some type of package selection that the funeral service provided. Kind of like plan A costs this much and provides this. Plan B costs a little more, and with you get..... I am not sure but that is my guess.
One of my other uncles did the eulogy. He talked about how "he was a good man", "gave back to the community", "loved kids, even though he didn't have any", "fun to be around", and other things that one is supposed to say at a funeral. And that is when I started thinking....
What is someone going to say at my funeral? Who would be there? What would it be like? Do I really care?
When I got home, I told a friend of mine where I had been, and he gave his condolences. He told me that he thought the best thing someone could say at a funeral was that the person who had died left behind a good name. In other words, people respected them. For me personally, I don't want someone to have to try to fit my actions into "things you are supposed to say at a funeral." I don't want people to have to try real hard to think about what to say. What would someone say at your funeral? What would your funeral look like?

* Quirky Quotes

Because I believe our readership (of which I now believe to be numbered near twenty!) is an intelligent group I will not tell you who gave me the following quote...

As we were driving along running errands today the back seat said...

"I've been thinking....Wouldn't it be great if everything were rainbows?"

Wouldn't it be great if we all saw the world that way?

Attention

A couple of weeks ago Michelle and I were doing our thing on Sunday morning. This consisted of us leading our Kidzone Family Production, teaching the college aged, and then teaching the children's worship during our congregation's normal worship time. In general, this is a normal Sunday morning for us.

I guess I need to fill in with a little background information:
1) Our congregation was doing something a little different for 4 consecutive weeks where instead of meeting in the auditorium, we met together in our fellowship hall. We sat at our round tables, singing, praying, discussing, taking communion, listening to the sermon.
2) I just got back from a 2 week stint in China. I was a little foggy in the head....
3) We did not have all the multimedia that we usually do for children's worship.

Anyway, back to the story. Michelle and I are setting up for the kids to come back. I am focused on amping the teens up, so that they are good examples for the kids: "this is a ministry. don't be texting, sleeping, etc. focus on the kids. Even when it looks like they are ignoring you, they still look at you and think, 'that is what I am supposed to do when I am a teenager'". Michelle was getting her notes together, music files in order, and power point slides together. All of a sudden, the kids start rolling in. Needless to say, we were caught off guard. Why so soon?

A little more background: usually, we teach the children for about 30-40 minutes during our congregational worship. This particular Sunday, we had them for over an hour. It seems the worship minister, in his attempt to try to get other families to sit together decided to send the kiddies our way at the beginning of our worship service, so that there would be space for multiple families at one table. In other words, big families (multiple kids) can easily take up one table. When it is announced for the kids to go to children's worship, the kids stand up and leave, and then the parents are sitting by themselves at these very big tables. Don't get me wrong: I think this was an excellent idea. It just seems that we may have been victims of a series of unfortunate events.

Needless to say, that was a very long Sunday morning. We didn't have the proper media stuff, so we ended up doing a lot of things multiple times. I got frustrated for it taking so long (what time zone was I in anyway???). The teens were not to thrilled as well (when are we leaving to go eat???!!!). The kids could feel the tension, and they began to spiral into a state of disorder. And that got me thinking..... What is it about attention that it drives our lives so strongly?

We stand in lines for hours to see the next blockbuster hit. Movies these days go for 2.5 hours usually. We take our kids to practice. I hear the coach say, "focus!" We read books for hours at a time. We can surf the web for what it seems like days. Facebook stalking is quickly becoming a fine art. But we can easily blow a gasket when the download speed isn't mach 3. I found out last night that my cable service has a feature that lets me watch 8 football games at the same time, for free. I take my wife to a really nice restaurant and the hostess says, "it will be about 45 minutes", and I think to myself, "that's not too long...." However, I stand in line at chic-fil-a for more than 5 minutes and its like I am going to lose my religion!

Attention is very powerful. Let me explain. What we are attentive to, is where we are going to gravitate to. If you like movies, then you will set your calendar around when the blockbusters are coming out. If you love football, then you will plan your wedding (and others for that matter) around home games. if you enjoy eating out, then waiting in line for a considerable period of time for a good meal seems OK. If you are a workaholic, then sacrificing time with your family is part of providing for them. What we give our attention to, or what grabs our attention, is what is going to drive us in a particular direction.

But for some reason, I have to work at giving God my attention. I don't see myself standing in line for sermons. I don't find myself waiting in line for the next update of the NIV. Seriously. We don't have a waiting list for volunteers in our benevolence program. We have to "market" church ministries. Again, attention is a powerful thing. We decide what we are going to give our attention to.

Michelle and I have chosen to work with the children at our congregation for an indefinite period of time. This means we don't get a lot of worship services. And I'll be honest, that's OK with me right now. But at any given Saturday evening, after the kids have gone to bed, you will find us sitting in the floor of our living room listening to a podcast given by some ministry leader. While we are listening, we are editing slides for our skits the next morning, organizing media material for children's worship, or writing notes for our college class. We have forced ourselves to take in the gospel in the way that works for us presently. And let me say, I love it. A great friend of mine talks about something very similar while he drove to work the other day.

Because of our schedule, Michelle and I are finding ourselves teaching our kids while we drive down the road. We are seeing opportunities more clearly to interact with our kids with real world, up to the minute events instead of putting things off until Sunday to answer their questions. My little girl wants to know why she can feel the wind but not see it..... Discussions about bugs, turtles, pink ponys, princesses, and bionicle wars don't frustrate me. I am starting to look forward to the time right after I yell, "bedtime!" when I sit in my son's bed. Its at this point that he starts talking about God, asking me questions about stars and planets, what does "cool" mean, what does "hell" mean How does God see everything when we are on one side of the world and others are on the other side of it? I am finding I am more patient when my little girl asks if she can help hold the garbage bag while I put the cut grass into it.

What is it that is grabbing your attention right now? What would it take for you to give your attention to God? Or Give your attention to someone else in a Godly manner? What form would it look like? Maybe its more sermons, a new bible, joining a bible study on Mondays, closing your office door at lunch, learning to download podcasts to your ipod, choosing to eat lunch with someone you respect once a week, waking up an hour early, going to bed an hour early....

Right now, Michelle and I have found something that seems to work for us presently. I can't really put my finger on what "it" is, but I know that "it" is working. I am sure it will change over time. I am not concerned about it changing, as long as my attention is focused on God.

* Sustaining

This past month has been an extra specially large dose of new beginnings. New grade in school for the youngest boy in the house, a new job for the oldest boy, the kickoff for our KidZone program, , a new (small) job for mom at the church preschool, new service projects for the college ministry...

All that excitement for something new has been percolating in and out of our days. The boys were so pumped about their first days, the college kids were at dinner last night and talked with such intelligence and fire about their upcoming days with the inner city church, we have had tons of planning for KidZone (I even tie dyed for the first time last week with another mom who has been so instrumental in our awesome new sets) NEW, NEW, NEW.

In my numbery way I was looking at the history of our blog posts. (Although I restrained from actually counting mine vs Judah's) I noticed that in our first few months we averaged in the low to mid teens in posts, generally three a week. You will note that we are now at half that number. Where did all the excitement go? Surely I still have something interesting to add? Profound words to throw out to the Internet? Adorable anecdotes that highlight the clear supremacy of my children's preciousness over everyone else's?

Alas, the blog is suffering from what school suffers from in March, April & May. A waning of excitement/enthusiasm. A lack of a sustainable source of energy. (Although I will point out that other blogs that I love have been known to go months without posting - you know who you are- so if I judged myself based on the performance of others I would still be alright) When I noticed the numbers I was struck by the difference - I did not however analyze them to see if the change was statistically significant. I left statistics behind in college and have happily never looked back - let Judah play with the numbers - that boy can chart anything.

I began to think about what school, jobs, service, and ministry was going to look like in a few months when the excitement wears off and the energy must come from a sustainable source, not adrenaline. Although I can not speak for my son's energy source for school I did make a conscious choice to be aware of where I was getting my energy to sustain those things I care about.

Am I running on pride, or sense of accomplishment? Those will not carry me as far as love and submission to the will of The One who laid the path. Submission and sacrificial love are not glamorous and not likely to boost the adrenaline like a nice dose of personal glory will, but I am thinking they will carry me farther in the long term. And while I am sure I will mess up - A LOT - I am now going to consciously think of the sustainable energy sources I am using to get through my days.

What energy sources are you using in your day?

* So Long to the Caseys

There are so many things percolating in my brain right now and things I want to say but my time this afternoon is limited and there is a lot of snubby floating around in my sinuses, blocking coherent thoughts processes. So I will make this quick.

The Caseys are dead and gone.

The princess has not noticed yet and I am a chicken and haven't told her.

Some may wonder who the Caseys are. About a year ago some friends gave us (actually they gave it to our daughter - a sneaky trick to run around the parents) a fish tank and suddenly we were pet owners. We had avoided pets for many reasons - not because we are evil but because we are mobile. Pets require care and we are on the go quite a bit and I didn't want to always be looking for someone to feed the dog/cat/hamster while we ran to grandmas. So now we had fish. I killed Chester within two days - a beautiful beta fish that apparently couldn't stand our family. In my hysteria of killing Chester Judah drove to the pet store and returned with two "harder-to-kill" fish - I think they may have been guppies. We allowed the princess to name these fish - she labeled the first one 'Casey' which was cute and when we asked her for another name she replied 'Casey'. Really? You want them both to have the same name? YES. So we had two identical fish with the same name in our tank. No confusion there.

An interesting side note - we have a precious older couple at our church with the last name of Casey, so I entertained myself a great deal with the notion that the Caseys lived in our fish tank.

Judah was told that these 'harder-to-kill' fish would live a year or two. Well not to skew the bell curve they lived almost precisely a year and died seemingly within a day of each other. The Caseys are gone.

Did I mention that we still have one other fish? Originally purchased with Chester - one of the 'clean-your-tank' fish. Our daughter named him too - 'Hippo" I have no idea where the names come from. Hippo has now lost three tank mates in a year - he (or she for all I know) may be needing some therapy soon.

So long Caseys.

Plans

Recently, I have been fixated on a story out of 1 Samuel. It’s the story of David and his mighty men, in the cave of Adullam. Here is a little background information. Saul has been trying to kill David, and David has been running from Saul. In chapter 24, Saul finds out that David is in the wilderness of En-gedi, and goes after him. At one point, Saul needs to take a potty break (you got to love the bible), and goes into a cave for some privacy. It just so happens that this is the same cave that David and his mighty men are hiding.
David’s men see this as a perfect opportunity to kill Saul and stop the running. To them, it makes perfect sense. Saul has been trying to kill David for so long. Obviously, God is providing an opportunity here. At one point, the men said, "This is the day the LORD spoke of when he said to you, 'I will give your enemy into your hands for you to deal with as you wish.' They truly believed this was God’s will. However, David wouldn’t kill him. He only went so far as to cut a piece of his robe off.
A little more history behind this story: Saul was anointed by God to be king over Israel. When he went against God, and didn’t do what God wanted, God rejected him, and had David anointed as the next king (See 1 Samuel 16 for this story). Saul then lost the blessing of God, by the Spirit leaving him (1 Samuel 16:14).
So, there are 2 men that have been anointed to be king. On the surface, it seems like the obvious choice is to kill Saul. He has been rejected by God. He has been trying to kill David (chosen by God). David has been anointed to be the next king. He has God’s blessing. Why doesn’t David kill him? To me, the answer is quite powerful. Saul is anointed by God as well. Even though he has been rejected by God for not doing his will, at one point he was anointed by God. He was the chosen one. You do not go against the chosen one. David knew this. Even though his (David) life may have been easier, even though he would have been “justified” in killing Saul (at least in the eyes of David’s men, and possibly even us today???), it would still have been going against God. Saul was still the chosen one.
I think we do that today. We get these wonderful plans in our head, and don’t understand why God doesn’t “magically” make them happen. We aren’t selfish in our ambitions. We want to help people. We have others’ best interest at heart. So why doesn’t God allow our plans to take off? We ask ourselves late at night when we can’t sleep, “why doesn’t God see this plan the way I do? It is so obvious! It would help so many people. My family would be safe! We would be provided for!” We forget sometimes that God has his own plan. It may not make any sense at the time, but He has a reason for everything that He does. We get these great ideas in our head, and then get frustrated when our plans, that have no ulterior motive, won’t take off.
David could have killed Saul. He would have been king that way. But, I believe killing God’s anointed would have started a snowball effect of situations in David’s life that would have made the Bathsheba incident look like a Saturday morning cartoon series. Later on, I will write on what anointed means, and how it relates to us today as Christians.
We have to learn to listen to God. We have to learn to trust that He knows what he is doing. And, we have to learn to not step into His business. We do not know as much as He does. We cannot possibly know what is best, and think we are going to show God what the correct decision to do is.
Start listening for God. God speaks to us through other people. Don’t ignore people that may be questioning your judgment. Reflect on key events that may have prevented your plan from happening, even when the execution “was flawless”. Maybe that is God trying to quietly tell you, “not so fast.” Take time to just sit in silence for a period of time. Try not to convince God of your plans. He already knows what they are. Start asking God, “What is it you want me to do with my life? Why did you create me? Do my present plans go against your will?” We should be asking God for wisdom to know what He wants us to do. We should be asking Him to help us see when our plans conflict with His, and that He would give us the courage to change direction when conflicts arise.
We have to remember: God is God, and we are not.....

* A Day of Firsts

Along with many families in our area this morning we packed the first lunch of the school year. Apparently I had not recently shopped for school snacks so my son will trudge through his first day with less than stellar items. I was able to put in a ziploc of fresh grapes so I don't feel too bad. Besides his favorite part is the overpriced water bottle he conned out of his dad when Judah's boy instinct over rode his budgeting philosophy.

In preparation of this day my son slept in his clothes. Why? - in order to not be late. I tried to tell him that he still had to wait on his mom to get dressed but my point was not strong enough. He finally took the shirt off for temperature and comfort reasons when he found himself still awake at 11:30.

School shopping was a fun activity. Judah got to go with us since after his exit interview Friday he suddenly had no more work to do. So we all wandered through Target where we learned that everyone was out of wide ruled paper, but that dad was an easy mark for cool new water bottles. Last night we packed his bag - not a back pack this year. We recently bought some messenger bags as a gift and at that time my son decided he needed one also. Due to the leftover theory his selection was small but we settled on a black one, which is always cool. The new bag style will hopefully prolong its life. Last year's bag was a wheeled back pack which was drug everywhere and multiple holes rendered it useless by the end of the year. Holding a bag will shake up the first day of school photo which has included the wheeled backpack style the past two years.

The big boy in the house also is having a big first day. A new job that doesn't send him to China! We did not do any shopping in preparation for his first day - sad really. Anticipation was a palpable thing in our home yesterday. Judah didn't seem to sleep well either and was up early. Although I asked , he didn't feel that taking his picture was necessary.

* Summer Summary

School is around the corner. We are going to school today to see the classroom. First day is Monday. Sadly we have not gone to get school supplies yet. Payday is tomorrow so it did not align with the tax free weekend. My son will have to choose from leftovers. On the bright side we did not fight the crowds and will shop in relative emptiness in the morning. Sometimes too many choices causes children's brains to explode. I am slightly excited about the shopping as those who have been following loyally for the last year will know from my post about this time in 2008. I have come to realization that summer is over and it is time to assess whether I feel like I wasted it or not. Summer seems like a poor thing to waste. Waste asparagus not summer. What did we do this summer?

1. We had a schedule! While we did not follow it terribly well, my son did enjoy hiding it from me. Behind the speakers, behind the poker table.... Even though we did not follow it perfectly it did establish daily reading for my son who is now on the seventh book in the magic tree house series. Since they are numbered there is no way we can read them out of order. Whose son is that? :) Money bingo has also helped with our change counting. Good times! The schedule also helped me be proactive with my daughters learning. She has not yet gone to preschool since I am at home all the time and it is not an expense we want to add to the budget. So we have been working on her letter recognition. I had wanted to have the alphabet completed this summer but we are about 4-5 letters shy. Strangely we get stuck on the oddest ones, K/N/S. She has moved past K and N but S is the current stickler. She can pick all letters out if I ask her to find the 's' in a row of cards but if just asked to name it we are not yet 100%. But I can say we made measurable progress from the ~6 she could do when we started.
2. We went to the beach for a week with my family. A new activity and fun for all. Tons of pictures - later scrapbook overload. I have never been one of those folks who go to the beach every summer for a week, but I seem to have known several and this year I could casually say "oh that is the week we will be at the beach" and people would respond "oh we are going in July" or " oh really we are going the next week."
3. Judah went to China - a lot. This would probably be where we felt like the summer was wasted. With daddy gone for 6 weeks of summer we missed a lot of time at the lake. We have probably been out on the jet skis 3 times since we de-winterized them. Blgh.
4. The nieces came for a visit. I have a post for them so I won't repeat myself but it is good to keep the tradition going and have the little come for her first visit.
5. Lots of decorating time at the church. Weeks on VBS where I did one section all by myself for the first time. I will not get too depressed by the fact that the gorilla tape did not hold and caused some mid week drama and quick repair. This past week has been full of creating new sets for KidZone. I will try to get a picture on here when they are completed.
6. Judah got a new job which he starts Monday. Yeah! This means no more China! Subsequently we decided to try to sell our house and move a bit closer to his new work location. So I spent two weeks cleaning the house out and scrubbing things. It looks great - still some things to do but we are advertising it anyway and working along the way. We have had several calls and one showing last weekend. We are in no true hurry but my kids will get tired of the "no eating on the couch because mom had the carpets cleaned" rule.
7. College service days - our college group is a blessing to us and we have really felt an increase in their "groupness." This summer they served each Thursday at the inner city church and on our final Thursday we could honestly say we felt like our time there was not wasted. I loved seeing my children interact with other children not quite similar in appearance - talk about contrast - I have terribly blond children and I praise God that their eyes are currently color blind. The world can creep into our vision all too soon and its view can be quite difficult to dislodge ( a reference perhaps to the plank in our eyes Jesus talks about in the Sermon on the Mount?). We have big plans for continued service with the college group this year and I am so proud of both them and my children.
8. Slight improvement on the family devotional time. Some weeks I really did well - others a total thumbs down. So overall I would give our improvement at a 15% increase from pre-summer levels. My statistical husband would probably like to see some hard numbers on that but I don't have any.
9. Fewer visits to the grandparents house this year - not sure how that happened. We did spend a week at the beach with grandparents but I am sure that doesn't count towards time at grandmom's house. Totally missed going to my grandmother's this summer which we have done for the past several years. However she was at my mom's twice when we saw her so we did still visit, just not at her home.
10. In order to get to the round number ten that I prefer we will now fill it with random things - like my son losing three teeth this summer and our garden being a flop after the eight squash I picked before the beach (apparently the week of the beach was hot and the teenager that watched the house was not the plant watering kind - the animals were fed though :) ). We went peach picking at the local fruit and berry patch which was awesome. Our friends from Memphis visited which was cool in many ways not least of which it meant I didn't drive to Memphis in the summer heat. Here's to the other thing that make summer the cool time that it is - sleeping late!

So long summer....

Cows

The following, is a true story. Only the names have been changed to protect the innocent….

Ken and John were out riding 4-wheelers on their friend’s farm. They loved riding 4-wheelers. It was an experience that they had not enjoyed before. Their friend had a farm that was close to 300 acres. The acreage comprised of large open fields, rolling hills, creeks, and wooded areas that was full of all kinds of wild life. They saw deer, turkey, all kinds of birds, as well as livestock. It was a wonderful, quiet place, where one could clear ones mind.

On this farm, their friend had about 50 head of cattle that he raised for beef. During Ken and John’s ATV ride, they came across the cattle, and Ken was quite surprised as he had never been that close to cows before. At one point in their exploration they noticed one of the herd was standing right in the middle of the trail they were driving on.

“Wow, look at the size of that cow,” Ken said. “I didn’t know cows got that big!”

“That’s not a cow, Ken. It’s a bull,” John responded.

“A bull?! But it doesn’t have any horns…” Ken said, somewhat questioning.

“Not all bulls have horns. Besides, you don’t look at the horns to tell if it is bull.”

“How do you know it is a bull? What do you look at?”

“The massive #*#* he has!”

Chinese Buffets and Health Care

Last night, Michelle and I decided to treat the kids to some Chinese food. We noticed there was a new restaurant open, and thought we would give it a shot. The kids love going to the buffet, as they get to pick what they want to eat. We like it, because we can usually guide them to acceptable vegetables and fruits, while they still get to pick on their own.

Well, I made a rookie mistake. As we walked in, I noticed no prices posted. My gut was telling me something was eschew, as the very friendly hostess guided us to our seats. Anyway, I didn’t ask what the cost was, and I got distracted with the new look, clean appearance, and amazing lack of people in the establishment. They also had CNN playing on all the TVs: something else that should have given it away.

The buffet was your typical Chinese buffet: sesame chicken, Mongolian beef, pepper chicken, noodles, rice, garlic green beans, broccoli, those huge grapes with the seeds in them, etc. It wasn’t a huge selection, but one could easily get enough to eat. It also had a sushi buffet. Most Chinese buffets that we have gone to in the past, have a sushi bar that is separate from the buffet. If you want to have sushi, you have to order it separately from the buffet. The more I looked at it, the more I thought, “this is really nice. There is a lot to choose from.” However, the lack of people at prime eating time was still bothering me. I mean, come on: we are in the south! Southerners like their all you can eat Chinese buffet!

I got back to our booth and started talking to Michelle about how things just weren’t right. I told her, “this bill is going to be outrageous. We should have asked what the price was. Did you notice they don’t have any prices posted? Where are all the people, because this is really good food.” She agreed. Things just didn’t seem right.

Michelle and I started talking about how is it they could afford such a nice spread, with sushi and a hibachi grill, and hardly any clientele. You just don’t get things for free. And that is when it hit me: This situation reminds me a lot like what is going on with this ridiculous debate about the government wanting to provide, excuse me, force everyone in America to have healthcare. Let me explain.

The buffet choices, clean restaurant, and amazingly friendly staff is like the government (president or senators) getting in front the cameras everyday explaining how great this program is, and all the different benefits that will be available to the customers (Americans). Its kind of like smoke and mirrors in a magic show.

The buffet, specifically, is the “basic health care” that everyone keeps talking about. No one, has yet to explain to me what “basic health care” is to a point that makes any sense. Any way, the buffet allows you to eat and be somewhat nourished, to a certain extent, because it is based solely on what is provided. Let’s not forget that Chinese buffets offer pretty much the same things. It doesn’t matter what part of this country you are in (excluding places like “China towns” in San Francisco and New York).

The sushi buffet represents the unique health care programs that most people just don’t need, or even want to select. This is great stuff, but there are a lot of people that just don’t need it (or in the specific case of sushi, like it! Yuck!). Some people will want it (or need it), but these people are by far a very small minority. A good example of this situation is the following: I over heard a woman tell one of the sushi chefs, “This is really fascinating! I can’t believe you provide sushi. Oh, I don’t want to try it! I can’t see myself actually eating raw fish!” In other words, she was really surprised, but appreciative that they offered sushi. Unfortunately, she would eventually find out that she paid for it, even though she didn’t order or eat it!

As we were leaving I noticed one of the cooks, from the Chinese buffet, leaving a restaurant a couple of shops down; a sandwich shop. This represents the president and congress who have their own ridiculously “great” health care, but have told the public on numerous occasions that they were not going to participate in the program that they were trying to push through congress like a watermelon through a play-do strainer. Now, you might be quick to say something like, “how can you compare their amazing healthcare to a sandwich shop? Isn’t that a step down?” Well, you have to go back to the original analogy, and remember we are talking about a cost to choice ratio. A sandwich shop is very cheap (in comparison), you are provided what you need, you get to choose what you want, and you have some extras to spice it up a little bit (like those chocolate chip cookies that come right out of the oven! Man, those are tasty!).

And finally, the cost: After we ate, our fears were solidified when we got the bill. It was almost 60 dollars! I was completely blown away, but at the same time expecting it. I not only paid for my General Chou’s chicken, but for the fifty thousand varities of exotic sushi that they offered and I didn't actually eat myself. Of course, it was my own fault. I should have asked for the price and didn’t. That’s what I get.

And that is what America is doing right now. People are beginning to wake up to the fact that the choices for health care under a government plan are severely lacking. Along with that, there is a group of the population that actually does take care of themselves, eats right, exercises, doesn’t smoke, doesn’t drink alcohol excessively, and in general lives a good life style (no sexually transmitted diseases). People are beginning to question their congressmen about this ridiculous plan that will bankrupt our society, as well as, create a situation where someone else will be dictating what care we, as a society, can have (we will provide you sesame chicken, but not sweet and sour pork). For the vast majority of the population, we will pay for programs, prescriptions, and treatment for things that we will never need in our life time. We will pay for sushi we will never eat.

I want to make it clear that I do support some type of “basic health care” for those who can not take care of themselves. That might seem hypocritical, but it isn’t. My beef, is with the government thinking they have the answer to everything by “spreading the love” to everyone, to support a minor few. We should provide care for homeless, orphans, disabled, etc. But this is not something that is the right of the government to provide. There are numerous communities throughout our country that are already doing similar things on their own accord, by pooling money and providing it to those that need it. The government needs to get out of the healthcare, and the welfare business.

Now, you might be tempted to say something like, “well doesn’t the government’s plan pool resources like the communities you are talking about?” My answer to that would be something like, “you don’t rob someone to give to someone else.” What I mean by that is, the government’s plan essentially forces workers who pay taxes to support those who don’t pay taxes. It will be illegal for someone to not be a part of this program. Some of you may disagree, but there is a huge difference between forcing me to pay for a program and me choosing to support a program on my own.

Well, the analogy of the Chinese buffet and government health care may not be exact, but it is definitely interesting. So, what are your thoughts? Does everyone have a right to basic health care? What does that mean? Is it the government’s responsibility to take care of those who can not take care of themselves? If so, when did that change? Why doesn’t the church and family members provide for those people?

When are we going to stop relying on the government and take responsibility for our selves?