While Judah is in China I get to play the part of single parent, which is no small thing, and my heart goes out to those who experience this for much longer than I. On the whole we do well, with only a small increase in general unruliness. With no dad to wrestle or tackle there is some pent up energy that needs expression. Add in any normal three year old and you get a mix of over dramatic whining alternating with frantic running in circles through the house. I have been blessed with some pretty good natured kids, so most of the time a snack or reading a book will quiet any overload. I will also admit that greater than 85% of the time all is peaceful in the kingdom, with a dancing princess and jousting knight defeating imaginary opponents.
The other 15% can make me want a beer - and I don't even like beer. It smells bad, why anyone would force down the first one amazes me. I have not met anyone who said the first beer tasted fabulous - so why drink the second sip? I did gamely try to drink wine once - in an effort to increase my sophistication - a miserable failure, I mostly just ate the dark chocolate that was supposed to help bring out the flavor in the wine. Bring on more chocolate, I'll skip the wine. Anyway.....Many of our recent dramas surround the issue of wardrobe. Both children are in denial of the season change as I have said before. My daughter is still wearing a bikini under her clothes everywhere, just in case we happen upon a pool. My son also is more than likely to wander out of the house in shorts and flip flops. This morning my daughter stood naked at the top of the stairs weepily telling me that she could find nothing to wear - I have no idea why not, most of her clothes were strewn across the floor for her viewing pleasure, she needed only to look down.
But this post is about the sweet moments among the chaos that is life with small people. Moments that fade quickly and must be grasped intentionally when you stumble on them. Sunday morning we went to worship as usual, with my daughter wandering off to sit with friends and in a generous (or selfish?) moment I actually let her sit elsewhere until children's worship time. This allowed me to just hang with my son. I had one of the best worship times in recent memory. God deserves our best but all too often does not get it from me, however my heart was so content that morning I think I got a step closer to where I was supposed to be. My son is at a perfect height for me right now. If he stands in front of me my hands can rest just over his mid-chest. This allows me to feel the vibration of his singing through my fingers without actually hearing the words come out of his mouth. He sang all the songs, which means he was paying attention. He was still during prayer and focused on the speaker. He did not wiggle, he talked about the communion, he was totally in that moment, giving his pure non-doubting heart to God, and through him I was able to do the same. One day he will be taller and my hands won't rest in that same spot but I know that I will continue to see God through him.
I admit that right now my daughter causes me more drama than my son, the joy of her being three. Three is my current least favorite age, having not yet gotten past first grade I have no comments yet on the teen years, but many teen-age moms make faces when reminiscing on the threes. My princess can be sooo cute and adorable and all that sugar and spice that a princess should be. Unfortunately it also occasioanlly comes wrapped in a girly screechy ball of whine. This mornings wardrobe drama for example. Two hours later as I lay in the dentist chair she watched intently as the hygienist cleaned my teeth - all the while stroking my hair and face, massaging the arm she stood by and occasionally holding my hand - just to "take care of (me)." I will remember the hair stroking later when she defiantly refuses to wear long sleeves to the gym, preferring a tank top, skirt and "clop-clops." Luckily she is still small enough to man-handle into the appropriate cold-weather clothing whether she wants it or not. One must be quick with the car seat straps though - if you leave her to do it herself she is likely to get that long sleeve off before you get in the front seat.
The chaos really is sweet.
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