* Living in the -ish

For many who know me well you know that I do not do "on time" very well. I have read in some places how that shows that I do not respect the person or event for which I am late. I will not argue at this time how I disagree with that. It is, at times, quite true and I can see how being late is a passive aggressive way of showing your distaste. I can not say that I have not been passive aggressive in that way, but generally I am just running late. I never seem to judge the drive time quite right, or someone needs to go potty after they are buckled, or shoes are forgotten, or I can't find my keys despite using a consistent location. In my efforts to not be late due to key loss I often pick them up a few minutes early while I am still giving shoe and bathroom reminders. "Whew I already have my keys" I blissfully tell myself only to put them down when momentarily distracted. Now the consistent key spot is wasted and I am re-looking for the keys because I drug them all over the house looking for the white flip flops my daughter has misplaced.

It would be convenient to say that time was easier for me when I was younger and had no small children, but that is not so. My friends in school never expected me on time, a fact they often pointed out. Judah also tells a great story about me being late to my wedding, which was totally not my fault. I did fairly well at time when working. I was very conscious of not scheduling 8 o'clock patients and made up for the few minutes I missed at 8 by working well past 5. I was blessed with a boss that truly cared only for the bottom line, if my time sheet showed 8+ hours and sufficient billable time then all was right and beautiful in the world. Who cares if it was 8:15 to 5:45 and not 8-5?

Judah lives on time, and frequently early. When going together we are never late. We can both be frustrated by this. I am "going too slow" and he is "rushing me." Sometimes he pushes us out and we arrive waaaaaaaay early and he looks at the clock and ADMITS "we really are very early." I admit a very small inner smile on these occasions. Times I do not smile are when he calls my cell phone at 11:45:30 to see where I am, when we were to meet t 11:45:00.

I love those things in life that help me in my lateness, such as movie previews and billing grace periods. Don't we all need a grace period? If not in time maybe in other areas. Where I may need some grace to cover my missed minutes, perhaps others need some grace to cover some words they "missed."

Several days ago a friend (who shares my tendencies) used a phrase that I will now steal and call my own. We were planning a time to meet, lets say 5. And I said 5-ish. She said "I live in the -ish." What a fabulous way to describe the chronic just behind scheduleness. I am no longer late, just wallowing in the area that surrounds the concept of "on time." I am embracing the fringes of the bell curve of timeliness. I am living in the -ish.